TITLE: Stuffed Pigs & Complications
AUTHOR: Nerdgurrl, A.K.A Heather
E-mail: : nerdgurrl@xxxxxxxxx
DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant
Enemy. I just wanna play for a while.
Spoilers: New Moon Rising
This is a response to Kimber’s challenge to NMR. BTW I am really glad that things seem to going better for you!
DISTRIBUTION: If you want to it’s yours, just let me know.
FEEDBACK : Do I even have to say “Yes Please?”
NOTE: This is un-beated so all mistakes are mine. To my beta reader I still love you guys, sorry about being MIA for a while but I’m back. I hope. Life has settled down, well as much as they can considering RL and being pregnant and all (silly grin) But I have made it my new goal to try to post a story every week, so keep those challenges coming Kimber!!
OK enough with my babbling.
Stuffed Pigs & Complications
Not even the typically gorgeous Sunnydale weather, nor the cheerful singing of the swallows in the nearby tree could cast away the dark cloud that hovered over Buffy Summers, the Slayer.
Buffy quietly unlocked the door to her mother’s house, and tromped upstairs to her old bedroom. She knew that her mom was at the Gallery, so she had the house to herself.
She needed sometime alone to work through some things, and knew that Mr. Gordo would do the trick. When she was younger and her parents would fight, she would talk out all of her problems with Mr. Gordo. Her friends in L.A. where great when it came to cheerleading and guys, but they weren’t people to confide in. The last few years, Willow had become her confidant, and she spoke to Mr. Gordo less and less, but this wasn’t something she could talk to Willow about. Buffy knew that it was silly, but sometimes just hearing her thoughts out loud helped put things in perspective.
Buffy flopped down on the bed, and propped up the therapeutic pig.
“ Just when things were beginning to go smoothly, something happens to change everything. It all started when Oz came back. No I guess that’s not entirely true. It all started when Angel lost his soul. The Scooby gang has always been there for me, but Willow, Wills really came through for me. She stood by me the whole time, consoling me when I needed it, giving me pep talks, and even the occasional ass kicking. It was then, that Willow truly became by best friend. I’ve never known anyone like her; I’ve surely never had a friend like her. Then Angelus almost killed her and I thought my heart would stop. I think that was when the seed was planted, when caring and friendship began to shift into something more. I was just too messed up to realize it.”
Buffy punched the bed in frustration, and raked her fingers through her hair a few times. Even though over a year has passed, those events in her life where still painful and raw. Even though she had accepted what had happened, the scars were still there.
“Shit I can’t even talk about the whole Angelus thing without the major wiggins. Ok Buff, get it together. Anyway, after I sent Angel to hell and did the disappearing act, things were kinda tense between Willow and I. I mean, I’m supposed to be her best friend and I bailed on her. What she didn’t know was that I thought about her and missed her every day I was gone, and seeing her again was one of the main reasons I came back.
Then Angel came back, Faith, the Mayor. Constant chaos. When Angel left, once again Will was there for me, and we became close once more. That summer, with Oz gone, it was like old times again, and those other than friendly feelings surfaced again. But you know that don’t you Mr. Gordo, how many conversations did we have about the lovely hacker this summer? Then Oz came back and school started, and I knew that Willow could never have feelings for me, for a woman. So pushed it away.”
“I WANT A NORMAL LIFE!!!” Buffy screamed, her voice echoing in the empty room.
“I want a normal life.” She whispered to herself.
“I just wanted to be a normal college girl, and do normal college girl things that happen to include slaying the occasional Vampire. Then I met Riley. I like Riley. He is kind and sweet and he understands the slayer thing.”
Mr. Gordo looked accusingly over at Buffy.
“OK, so he is trying to understand the slayer thing. He really is trying, and he really loves me, and he isn’t going to go all evil on me, so why can’t I stop thinking about the conversation I just had with Willow?”
~~~~~~~(One hour earlier)
{**** denotes Buffy’s thoughts}
"Hey"
** I was hoping you’d be here, I’ve missed you lately.**
"Hey... you ok?"
"Yeah, I just... I don't want to talk about it. I wanna hear about you and Oz. You saw him right?"
Buffy walked over, and sat down on the corner of the bed.
Willow hesitated. It was obvious that something had thrown the vivacious hacker.
"I was with him all night." She replied softly.
"All night? Oh my god. Wait... last.. night was a wolf moon right?" **If he hurts her again I’ll kill him, I swear I will, friend or no friend.**
"Yup."
"Either you're about to tell me something incredibly kinky, or-"
"No..kink... he didn't change Buffy. He said he was going to find a cure, and he did - in Tibet."
"Oh my god! I can't believe it!" ** I’ve lost her. Ok I never had her, but… OK supportive friend time now, deal with pain later.**
"Okay, I-I'm all with the woo-hoo here, and.. You’re not."
"No, there's 'Woo' and.. 'Hoo'. But there's 'uh-oh!' and... 'why now?'... and ... it's complicated."
Buffy had to fight the smile that was threatening to spill out, she loved to hear Willow-isms. Despite the situation, she still found it incredibly endearing.
"Why complicated?"
The hacker hesitated again.
"It's complicated... because of Tara."
"You mean Tara has a crush on Oz?”
Then realization hit as her mind focused on the way the two Witches always touched each other when they thought no one was looking, and how Willow smiled more often now. **I wish that she were smiling because of me.** “.... Oh....umm... Will... that's great," "You know I think.. I think Tara is a.. ah.. really great.. girl, Will."
"She is. And... there is something between us."
All the feelings that she had pushed aside came rushing back at those words. ** Tara’s a woman, Will’s attracted to a woman.**
"I-it.. wasn't something I was looking for; it's just powerful. And it's.. totally different from what Oz and I have."
**Could that have been me? Could I have been the one to compete with Oz for her heart?**
"Well, there you go..you have to follow your heart, Will, and that's what's.. important, Will."
"Why do you keep saying my name like that?"
** I could have told her, and I blew it. I could have told her after Oz left, before I got involved with Riley. But NO!! I had to have a “normal” life.**
"Like what, Will?" Buffy asked, trying to cover her hurt by laughing.
Willow was getting nervous. "Are you freaked?" she asked in a slightly shaky voice.
"What?! No!, Will, th-" '
**Not freaked, Just disapointed in myself. I just love you.**
"... no... no, absolutely no, to that question. ...I'm glad you told me." "...What did you say to Oz?"
**I love you Willow. I’ll be your friend forever, anything to be in your life.**
"I was.. gonna tell him. But then we started hanging out and.. I could just.. feel everything coming back.... he's Oz, you know?"
"Yeah, I know."
"I don't want to hurt anyone, Buffy."
** You never would, that’s one of the reasons why I love you.**
"No matter what, somebody's gonna get hurt. And the important thing is.. you just have to be honest, or it's gonna be a lot worse."
** Be happy Willow. Who ever you choose, be happy. No one deserves it more than you.**
Buffy Hugged Mr. Gordo tightly to her chest as tears streamed down her cheeks. Eventually the tears subsided, and her breathing returned to normal.
“I blew it Mr. Gordo. I may have had a chance with the most wonderful woman in the world all because I wanted a shot at a normal life. But.. it will be ok. I have Riley.” But that statement fell flat, even to the slayers own ears.
"All I used to want was to be normal, to have a normal life. Now all I want is Willow.”
(what did ya think?)