Challenge Response: Complications and Clarity 1/1

[nerdgurrl <nerdgurrl@xxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: Complications and Clarity
AUTHOR: Nerdgurrl, A.K.A Heather
E-mail: : nerdgurrl@xxxxxxxxx
DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon
and Mutant
Enemy. I just wanna play for a while.

Spoilers: New Moon Rising

This is a response to Kimber's Second challenge to
NMR.


**CHALLENGE!!!!
How about writing Willow's thoughts after she tells
Buffy about Tara and
Buffy Wiggs? Could be she has no clue about how Buffy
feels and is just
upset that Buffy freaked, or it could be that she gave
up on Buffy long ago
(like when Angel returned) and is voicing (internally
or to another
character) how she's always had a crush on the Slayer.
Use those keyboards
kiddies! **

Sequel alert: This is a sequel to my story Stuffed
Pigs and complications. You don't have to read it to
understand this one, but it might help. Stuffed Pigs
was Buffy's POV. This is Willow's.

DISTRIBUTION: If you want to it's yours, just let me
know.

FEEDBACK : Do I even have to say "Yes Please?"

NOTE: This is un-beated so all mistakes are mine. To
my beta reader I still love you guys, sorry about
being MIA for a while but I'm back. I hope. Life has
settled down, well as much as they can considering RL
and being pregnant and all (silly grin) Two stories in
one week, Maybe it's the apocalypse.

OK enough with my babbling.

Clarity and complications


The moonlight bounced off of her gleaming red hair as
Willow gazed out of the window. Her legs were tucked
underneath her, and a pensive, thoughtful expression
marred her otherwise beautiful face.

**Complicated. Why does everything have to be so damn
complicated.**

Oz, Buffy and Tara. Their faces circled in her mind
like towels in a clothes dryer, each face mingling
with the other.

Oz. Oz was gone. He left town as soon as she stepped
out of the van. It hurt, but it was more of an ache,
the loss of something that was no longer there, not
the stake through the heart pain that she felt when he
first left. Willow missed him, and knew that she
always would, but she felt a sense of closure. Now Oz
could resume his rightful place in her heart and she
could move on.

**Be happy Oz. I hope you find someone who will make
you happy and give you the peace that you deserve.**

Willow quickly wiped away a stray tear, and smiled as
a picture on the desk caught her eye. It was a
picture of the three of them, the original Scooby's.
Buffy, Xander, and Willow where all smiling, and had a
mischievous glint in there eyes, as if they knew a
secret joke that only they could understand.

With a small smile, Willow uncurled her legs, and
walked over to the desk, gently picking up the picture
and plopping down on Buffy's bed.

Buffy. Now that the danger to Oz was over, Willow
could once again focus on the conversation she had
with Buffy earlier that day.

Willow: NO, THERE'S "WHOO" AND "HOO," BUT THERE'S
"UH-OH" AND "WHY NOW?"
AND IT'S COMPLICATED.
Buffy: WHY COMPLICATED?
Willow: IT'S COMPLICATED... BECAUSE OF TARA.
Buffy: YOU MEAN TARA HAS A CRUSH ON OZ? NO, YOU-- OH.
OH. UM... WELL...THAT'S GREAT.

**I could see the moment she realized what I meant.
There was surprise in her eyes, but there was
something else**

Buffy: YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I THINK--I THINK TARA'S A
REALLY GREAT GIRL, WILL.

**something that I couldn't quiet read**

Willow: SHE IS. AND... THERE'S SOMETHING BETWEEN US.
IT WASN'T SOMETHING I WAS LOOKING FOR.
Willow: IT'S JUST POWERFUL. AND IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT
FROM WHAT OZ AND I HAVE.

**Or you and I have.**

Buffy: WELL, THERE YOU GO. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE
TO... YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART, WILL.
Buffy: AND THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT, WILL.
Willow: WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING MY NAME LIKE THAT?

** And then she freaked. I knew that it was gonna be
hard to tell her, but i didn't expect her to freak.***
Buffy: LIKE WHAT, WILL?
Willow: ARE YOU FREAKED?

**Is it because of Tara specifically or because Tara
is a woman. Or could it be something all together
different. For a moment there I thought I saw a flash
of Jealousy.

Buffy: WHAT? NO, WILL, DON-- NO. NO, ABSOLUTELY NO TO
THAT QUESTION.

**And love.**

Willow ran her hand across the picture.

**OK Willow don't go down that path again. Not now.
You are just imagining things, being hypersensitive
girl again.**

There was a connection between her and Buffy. It took
years to realize it, but eventually she did. Last
summer when Angel left, Buffy and Willow spent a lot
of time together, and they became closer than ever.
It was then that she realized her feelings for Buffy
were more than just friendly feelings, but Buffy had
just lost her first love, and she was with Oz.

**Besides Buffy would never feel that way about me,
she doesn't feel the connection between us.**

So Willow did what she did best, she was a supportive
friend and she Pined. When Oz left, all of those
feelings came to the surface again and for a little
while there was a glimmer of hope that Buffy felt the
same way. Then she met Riley, and Willow met Tara.
Willow could feel the something pass between them the
first time they met. The connection that she felt
with Tara was different than Buffy, but it was still
there.

Buffy was a gentle constant heartbeat always thrumming
in the back of her mind. But Tara was a summer
lighting storm, warm, electric, and powerful.

**Mine**

Willow smiled at the thought of the shy blond. Tara
was kind and sweet and caring, not to mention a
patient Wicca teacher. After all the years of pining
after Xander, and then Buffy it was nice to be the one
that was wooed instead of the woo-er.

** It's nice to have someone that is just mine.**

Willow looked at the picture again and memories
flashed through her head in movie like techno-color.

The first time Buffy sat with her, despite Cordelia.
Crying in her arms when Angel lost his soul. The
joyous expression on her face when Willow told her
that she was staying in Sunnydale. The hugs and I
love you's that were a constant source of comfort.

The memories then changed. The electricity that
passed through them when Willow and Tara touched for
the first time. The warm feeling she got deep down
when Tara told her she was special. The endearing way
the shy blond stuttered when she was nervous. The
incredible softness of Tara's lips the first time they
kissed.


At that moment Willow knew, and knew with absolute
clarity that she had feelings, real feelings for Buffy
and that they would not go away, but that she also had
made her choice, and she chose Tara.

A beautiful sense of calm washed over her as she
realized that she didn't want them to go away, Buffy
had a piece of her heart and always would. Maybe some
day in the future, the time would be right for them,
but as she said to Oz, now is not that time. Buffy was
with Riley, and all that entailed, and Tara was her
present. Someone who loved and cherished her, some
one who was all hers. Willow slowly stood from the
bed and placed the picture back on the desk. A
bittersweet smile crossed her lips as a silent tear
slipped down across her cheek. A tear for the past,
the present, and the future.

Willow smiled once more, and wiped the fallen tear
away. Tara. She had to go to her new love and make
things right, return the love and affection that the
blond witch had so generously bestowed upon her. The
smile brightened as she felt a tingle sweep through
her. From her the top of her head, to the bottom of
her toes. The tingle of excitement, the tingle of
anticipation and things to come. The glorious rush of
a new relationship. Giddy with the headiness, and
newness of her emotions Willow laughed lightly, then
smiled once more at picture of Buffy. Willow brought
her fingers to her lips, then softly kissed them,
reverently placing the tips on the frame.

**Be happy for me Buffy. We will have our chance, I
know we will. But for now, be happy for me, like I am
for you.**

Willow picked up the gently flickering candle, locked
the door, and headed toward Tara.

The end (for now)

**While I am a die-hard Buffy/Will fan I also believe
in the natural progression of things. I am thinking
about a sequel of sorts, I like how the emotions are
set up in these two and I want to continue it, but I
also want to explore Tara. Joss hasn't given us much
to work with and I want to see what I can come up
with. That doesn't mean that I won't ultimately get
Will & Buffy together, it will just take some time.
(He, he I said MIGHT, not promising anything, have to
keep you all on your toes *VEG*) Please let me know
if anyone is interested in reading this?

For those on the Buffy/Will list, I'm not sure what
the protocol is, pls let me know if you want me to
post to the list, if not, when I start posting I will
just drop an e-mail to let those who are interested,
know where it will be. Once again, thanks for
sticking by me and thanks to Kimber for the challenge.
Keep them Coming!!!**





=====
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Send instant messages & get email alerts with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com/