FIC: Questioning Dreams

[Patrick Kelly <bandits@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Questioning Dreams
Author: Pat Kelly
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post-Restless. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy only. I do not own..
No money is being made.

QUESTIONING DREAMS


Buffy threw the last of the suitcases up against the dorm room door, next to the boxes
that contained the TV, microwave, and Willow's computer.

"That it?" Willow asked, looking around standing by her bed.

Their room was bare except for the beds, the bureau, drawers and desk that had been
supplied by the college. This was their last night in the dorm for three months, and then
they would start their sophomore year. They probably wouldn't get this room again. They
might not even&

"Yep. It's a good thing I'm stronger than your average first year college graduate, or one
of us would get a hernia moving this stuff tomorrow."

"That'd be a nice way to spend our summers at home. In bed getting all paranoid laying in
bed and looking out the window at some crazy guy next door who probably just murdered his
wife and&"

Buffy smirked. "One of these times I'm going to let you keep going and see how long you
can go."

Willow smiled sheepishly. "While Xander and I were waiting for you to get back from the
airport yesterday, he put in Rear Window. Not a movie you wanna watch in a dark basement."

"A Hitchcock movie? Doesn't he remember what happened the last time we tried to watch&?
Poor Will. All jittery."

"I am not!" Willow said defending herself in a forceful but calm tone. "So&Riley's back
home for the summer, huh?"

Buffy sat down on her bed. "It took forever for them to refuel the plane&but yeah." She
sighed. "He's gone. Visit family."

"It's nice to go home. Back to familiar surroundings and all."

"I am kinda looking forward to sleeping in my bed. Speaking of which -" She yawned.

"I'm right there with ya." Willow said, pulling back her covers and laying down.

Buffy turned off the light. "Hey, Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Next year&are we going to be roomies again?" Buffy asked softly.

"Been thinking about that lately, and&I don't know. I mean -"

"Tara." Buffy said even quieter.

"Uh huh." How come she felt bad?

"No big. Got three months to figure it out, right?"

"Right."

"Night, Will."

"Goodnight, Buffy."

***

Willow found herself walking in darkness. In the distance, she could see a faint light.
The more she walked the closer she got to it, and the brighter it became. She didn't
bother looking around. Her goal was the light. Her only goal. Then she heard the sounds
all around her.

Tara's voice.

*I think it's strange. I think I should worry&that we haven't found her name.*

*You don't know everything about me.*

*They will find out you know. About you.*

*Might miss something important.*

Willow stopped now. Stopped moving forward, and the light got dimmer.

"Miss what? What more is there to find out? We're happy! We shouldn't have to worry! Tara,
where are you?"

Receiving no answer, but now considerably less at ease, she began to move toward the light
once more. And it brightened. Then there was another voice. Buffy's.

*Your costume is perfect. Nobody's gonna know the truth.*

Once again, she was distracted, and the light dimmed even more this time.

"What do you want from me? I told you! Nothing else matters! I thought you were my
friend!"

The light faded more. Tara again. The voices began to come together.

*Things aren't going very well, huh?*

"That's an understatement!"

*You don't understand yet, do you?*

"Obviously not!"

*That's not the point.*

"What point?"

*Everyone's starting to wonder about you. The real you. If they find out, they'll punish
you. I&I can't help you with that.*

"No! I don't understand!"

*I can't help you.*

Willow couldn't move now. She was so confused. The light was almost out, and Buffy's voice
rose above the rest.

*What else could expect from a bunch of low rent, no account, hoodlums like you? Hoodlums,
yes, I mean you, and your friends. Your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care.
Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men with your groping and spitting, all groin no
brain. Three billion of ya passin around the same worn out urge. Men!*

"Buffy, what are you talking about? What's going on? You don't -"

*Willow, everybody already knows.*

"Help me! I don't know what to do!"

*I tried to warn you.* Oz's voice said.

And then&there was total darkness.


***

Buffy found herself back in her room at home. Her home. She liked it here. It was safe in
here. She removed herself from her bed, and stared down at the sheets and blankets.
Something was missing.

She didn't know where it was coming from, but she heard voices. Her own voice. And Tara's.

*Faith and I just made that bed.*

*For who?*

There was a flash of a person lying in the bed, but before Buffy could focus, it was gone.

*I thought you were here to tell me.*

Why did she have the feeling of dream déjà vu?

*You lost...*

"I have my friends. I made it."

*You think you know? You haven't even begun.*

"Maybe you should explain it to me."

*You have no idea.*

She was starting to get angry.

Then there was a knock on her door. She opened it, and smiled at Riley.

*Riley, you're back?*

*I never left.*

They were speaking, but their mouths weren't moving. He tried to enter, but he couldn't.
Buffy held out her hand, and when he reached for it, his hand just passed right through
it. He stared at her, hurt and angry.

*Okay, killer. If that's the way you want it. I guess you're on your own.*

He left, and the door slammed by itself. She tried calling his name, but it didn't help.
The room began to get darker, and colder. She sat on the floor, teeth chattering, holding
her knees and rocking back and forth.

***

Willow was now exactly where she wanted to be. The darkness was gone. She was in her
girlfriend's room, where it was nice and peaceful. Tara was sitting on her bed, looking at
something on the floor. Willow followed her gaze, and saw the cats sitting near her. All
kittens. There must have been at least twenty of them. And they were all so cute.

She stood, and went to sit by Tara.

"You have to pick one." The blonde witch told her.

Willow searched the group and smiled when she saw it. "That's easy."

She moved to go pick up Miss Kitty Fantastico, but when she got the kitten in her arms, it
hissed at her, and she jumped, dropping it. It ran off.

"She's not the right one."

"How can she not be?"

"Wanna try again?"

Willow was unsettled. She walked over to the window, and pulled back the red curtain.
Looking out, she saw another house, another window across from them. She could make out
two figures. One was standing over the other, and it looked like the one on the floor was
trying to cover her face.

"Somebody's in trouble over there."

"Help her."

Willow turned to look at Tara. "Huh?" She looked back out the window. She knew who the
people were now. "She's being hurt. He's&"

"Help her."

"How?"

"Just choose."

They both looked back at the group of cats.

"Which one?"

"You know."

"But I already did. I picked the one I wanted."

"Did you?"

"Of course I -"

"You still don't understand."

***

Buffy wasn't so cold anymore. In fact, she was very warm. She saw that she was sitting on
a beach, and the sun was shining brightly. She could smell the sea, and feel its breeze on
her back. She stood, and walked down the beach, barefoot. She came to a stop after awhile,
when she saw a small, young boy playing in the sand.

He looked like he was digging, making a circle in the sand. He had fiery red hair, and
Buffy noticed it immediately. She walked up to him, but stayed outside his circle, so she
wouldn't mess up his project.

"Hi, what's your name?"

He looked up at her with the brightest green eyes she had ever seen. "Will. What's yours?"

"Buffy."

"That's a pretty name. I like it. Do you like it?"

"My name?"

He laughed. "No! Mine, silly."

"Yeah. I have a friend with that name." He stared at her for another second, and continued
his work in the sand. "What are you making?"

"A Hellmouth."

"A&Hellmouth?"

"Yeah. There's lots of cool stuff in here."

"I think that's a little dangerous for you. Why not build a castle?"

"You can't tell me what to do!" He started to dig more furiously.

Buffy was shocked at how quickly the child had changed his attitude. All she wanted to do
was make sure he stayed safe. She looked out toward the ocean and saw Riley swimming in,
making his way toward the shore.

"He needs you, you know." Tara said, walking up to her.

"Riley? He has me."

Tara looked at the boy. "He's strong. But confused."

Buffy looked back at the little boy. "I tried to tell him -"

Tara shook her head. "You've got it all wrong."

"It's dangerous."

"It is." Tara agreed. "But all it takes is guidance."

"I was guiding. Guiding him away from getting hurt. He doesn't seem to want it."

"All he wants is help."

"I'm not going to help him get himself killed."

"You still don't understand." Tara shook her head. "He's going to do it with or without
you."

Buffy looked out to sea again, and lost sight of Riley, who had started to go under. She
panicked, and was about ready to run to swim out and get him, when she felt the beach
shake. The little boy was being sucked under the sand, and it swirled around him. She
looked back between the two people.

"One doesn't need your help. The other does."

"Which one?"

"You know."

"I don't!"

"Choose."

***

Willow looked at all the cats. Which one could it be? She was depending on her to make the
right choice. She looked back at Tara.

"Just open your eyes and look."

"This is too much pressure."

"It doesn't have to be. It can be obvious if you let it."

"I'm trying. Really."

"You have it in you."

Willow walked through the bunch of kittens, careful not to step on them. She wasn't much
of a cat person, but she didn't want to hurt any of them. How was she supposed to choose
one? She had thought Miss Kitty was it, but&

Near the back, surrounded by three kittens, something was curled into a ball.

"Shoo." The kittens scattered, and she picked up the shivering thing into her arms. It was
puppy. A newborn one too. It didn't even have any fur. Well except for tiny blonde hairs
that were barely noticeable. But Willow saw them. "How'd you get here?"

"Is that the one you want?"

"I think so." Willow said softly, staring down at the puppy. Its eyes were still shut. It
hadn't adjusted to the light yet.

"Why?"

"It's different. Looks like it could use a lot of protecting too." She used her finger to
gently stroke the small creature. "And&I don't know why&but it reminds me of summer. Hey,
he stopped shaking."

Willow looked up at Tara, and smiled.

"Look, his eyes are opening." Tara said.

As she saw the dog's blue eyes, a white light flashed in front of her, and everything
vanished.

***

"I can't save both of them!" Buffy screamed.

"No. You can't." Tara said.

"So I should just let one of them die?"

"Trust in yourself."

Why did it always have to come down to this? Choosing someone. Deciding who gets to live.
Her boyfriend was drowning. Someone who she had finally opened up to, and was happy with.
And there was this boy. An innocent little boy who was just trying something and he
happened to like it, and it wasn't his fault that he didn't realize the consequences. If
she had just tried to understand maybe&he didn't deserve to die.

He was reaching his hand out to her. "Please! I just thought you'd like it! Help me!"

The boy was sinking faster by the second. If she moved now she could get him out. Riley
was too far out to sea. Or&

"Time is forever. Life isn't." Tara said.

Buffy watched as the wind blew something through the air, and then it fell on her foot.
She looked down. It was a leaf from a special kind of tree. She picked it up, and held it
in her hand. She felt it clear her head. She felt it's warmth, it's safety. She looked up
into the sky, and saw a seagull fly overhead. Something fell from its mouth, which she
almost didn't catch.

It was a tiny frog. A frog? It jumped off her hands, and hopped away, coming to a stop
just outside the circle.

She knew what she had to do. She lunged for boy's hand, and pulled him hard and fast out
of the circle. The sand stopped caving in, and she pulled him to her body, hugging him
close. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Riley holding onto a life preserver, making
his way in.

"Thanks, Buffy." He said.

"Hey. It's what I do. I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner."

He smiled, and reached for her hand. She opened it up, and the leaf still sat in the
center of her palm. He brushed his finger around it. "Do you like it?"

"It's very pretty."

He closed Buffy's fingers around it, and put his hand around hers. "It's from a tree. It's
got my name."

"It's&it's from a&?"

He laughed and nodded. Inside her hand, the leaf began to glow, and then everything
vanished.

***

When they awoke, it was morning. They both opened their eyes at the same time, and laid in
their beds, staying quiet for awhile. After about ten minutes, they turned on their sides,
looking each other directly in the eyes.

"Morning, Will." Buffy said.

"Morning." Willow said in return.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Good. You?"

"Like a log. A dreaming log, even."

"Oh yeah?" Willow asked slowly. "What about?"

"Stuff."

"Prophetic stuff?"

"Maybe. But I think it was more about stuff that should have happened already. Things I
should have done."

"Well&uh&I dreamed too. But not in a log way. Too uncomfortable."

"What were your dreams?"

"Confusing at first." Willow said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Aren't they all?"

"That's true. I think they were trying to tell me something. Something I didn't want to
realize at first."

"Really? Mine were like that too."

"Weird."

They sat up, thinking to themselves. They locked gazes, and then suddenly felt the need to
stretch. Buffy checked the clock. "Ten? They're kicking us out in an hour!"

The slayer and the redhead quickly got out of bed, made it all neat again, and changed in
half and hour. Buffy grabbed two boxes, and Willow grabbed a suitcase. Somehow they
managed to get the door open and Buffy went out first.

"Hey, Buffy?"

"Yeah, Will?"

"Still need a bunking buddy for next year?"

Buffy smiled. "Sure do. You want the position?"

"I'd love it."

"Then I'll consider it filled. Come on; let's go home. I think there's some things we need
to talk about."

"I like that idea."

Buffy kicked the door shut behind them, and they began walking down the hall. At the other
end, Tara watched them, and smiled. The two girls had a feeling they were being watched,
but when they turned around to check, there was nothing there.

Shrugging it off, they kept going, heading for home.