Fic: "Forgive if Not Forget", part three

["jbstories _" <jbstories@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

"Forgive if not Forget"

===================================================================
Disclaimer: All the characters, Buffy, Willow, Giles, Xander, Faith etc.
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Inc., and Warner Bros. I'm just
borrowing their brilliant creations. I intend no copyright infringement from
my use of their characters, and will receive no monetary or any other
compensation for their use, in any form, of the story that succeeds.
Synopsis: What would have happened if Faith had never escaped on that train
out of Sunnydale? Read on…
Rating: PG-13
Genera: Buffy/Faith
*Note* This story is told largely in flashbacks
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Part Three
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Buffy smiled at the memory. If there was one thing that she and Faith were
both extremely proficient at, besides slaying, it was banter. And if Buffy
had never met Kendra, she would have thought that the ability to banter
sophisticatedly in any situation imaginable to man and demon alike, was some
sort of prerequisite to Slayerdom. She knew however, that it probably had
more to do with herself and Faith having just developed similar methods of
keeping people off base, keeping people away, and keeping themselves in the
dark. The banter was, as much as it was a way to play, also a way to hide;
hide from other people and from themselves. Still, it was in moments like
that where Buffy felt closest to the other girl, and it was at that time in
the conversation, that the tensions, that had been running since Buffy had
walked up to her, faded. There was something pure in it, something that was
unique to their relationship, their dynamic alone. And it was then, that
Buffy admitted for the first time just how much she had missed Faith.

Buffy smiled again at that thought. She had once talked to Faith about that
very subject, and trying to describe what she had meant she had likened the
effect to that of a virus. Needless to say, Faith had taken offense.

Buffy lost the smile however, when she remembered what it was like trying to
explain to Willow that Faith was going to be spending the night with them.
That hadn't been nearly that funny.

{Buffy walked into her dorm room, closely followed by Faith. The blonde
Slayer breezed into the room and over to Willow, who was sitting at her desk
working on the computer while the darker Slayer shoved her hands into her
pocket and slowly walked into the room before loitering by the door.
Despite Buffy's reassurances, Faith was still rather uneasy in regards to
how Willow would respond. In her mind she pictured an earth shattering
kaboom. She didn't want to be too close to that.

"How's it going?" Buffy asked coming to a stop behind Willow. "Looks
complicated."

"It is," Willow responded. Then she smiled. "Because this," she said
motioning to the screen, "is my physics review. As for the altering of the
official police documents, that's done...and wasn't nearly as complicated as
this," she finished swinging around to face Buffy.

"You amaze me," Buffy said sending her a huge smile. "And if you actually
got this smart by eating fish I owe my mother a HUGE apology."

Willow smirked and looked past Buffy to Faith who was still hanging out by
the door apparently just observing the interaction between the two friends.
When Faith saw her look over she worked one of her hands out of her pocket
and offered Willow a tiny wave, and what she considered to be her most
charming smile. Willow didn't at all look impressed and turned back to
observe Buffy.

"Funny story..." Buffy started to say, but Willow had heard many of Buffy's
funny stories and she knew where this one was leading without having to wait
for the punch line.

"Buffy..." she said in a whining voice.

"Will," Buffy said kneeling down in front of her friend and taking her hand.
"It's our only option. The police are still looking for her."

"That would be a cue to most people NOT to let her in," Willow said
sullenly, though her resolve was melting under Buffy's attentions.

"I promise to protect you, but you won't need protection," Buffy said in
response giving Willow the puppy eyes.

Faith watched the entire display with an amused expression on her face.
Buffy certainly had groveling down to a fine art, and Willow was going to
buy the whole song and dance. If Faith hadn't also found herself in Buffy's
web of charm she would have laughed out loud.

"You sound like John Diefenbaker," Willow muttered under her breath. She
knew she was going to agree, but she wasn't going to do it easily.

"Who?" Buffy asked momentarily distracted.

"Canadian Prime Minister. 'Conscription if necessary, but not necessarily
conscription'," Faith responded not moving her eyes from her boots. If she
had bothered to look up she would have seen two sets of eyes gaping at her.

"Come on Will," Buffy said shaking off her shock. "It'll be fine. You two
will even have something to talk about. Obscure references to Canadian
history, doesn't that sound like fun?"

"No," both Faith and Willow responded together.

"Buffy," Willow said in a reticent whisper. "What if this whole 'I wanna be
good thing' is," here Willow stopped talking and waved her hand in the air
making the 'so so' motion. "She could, in the middle of the night, you
know," then she took her finger and made a slashing motion across her neck.

Buffy was silent for a moment considering her answer. She needed to talk to
Willow alone and try to explain what was going on. It was just that
everything she was doing was based so much on emotion rather than evidence
and/or logic. But despite that, despite the fact she had no rational
explanation for what she was doing, she knew that it was the right thing to
do, and that she was right about Faith.

She turned to look at Faith. Their eyes locked and Faith smirked.

"I'll go see what the kiddies in 216 are up to?" Faith said turning around
and heading for the door.

"How about we don't practice our voyeurism skills?" Buffy asked.

"Come on, a girl's gotta have some fun," Faith said turning around to face
Buffy.

"Be good," Buffy said wearily.

Faith raised two fingers to her forehead and saluted, then she headed out
the door.

Once Faith had left the room, Buffy turned her attention back to Willow.

"I know I'm asking a lot Willow, really I do," Buffy said standing up. "And
I know that this 180 that I've done concerning Faith is probably beyond
confusing to you... it's confusing to me too. All I can say is that I KNOW
that everything Faith and I have shared today and told each other is on the
up and up. I can feel it Will, in my bones I can feel it. And I know I
have no right to ask this, but I'm going to do it anyway because I don't
know what else to do. I can't leave her out on the street, and there's no
place else that we can set her up for tonight. Please Will," Buffy said
looking down at her pleadingly.

"Alright," Willow said finally. "But she's sleeping on your side of the
room."

"I owe you," Buffy said leaning down and kissing Willow on the check.

"No, you owe me big," Willow corrected with a smile.}

Buffy opened her eyes again and ran a hand through her hair. She could
still vividly remember what happened later on that night. She and Willow
had set Faith up with a blanket and a pillow on the floor--on Buffy's side
of the room--and then they had stayed up for a while longer watching a
little television. They had talked, but the mood in the room was tense.
Both Willow and Faith would only talk to Buffy, and after about an hour of
watching the two of them ignore each other, Buffy announced that it was time
for bed. They all seemed relieved.

Though that wasn't the remarkable part of the night. It was what happened
after they had gone to sleep, that had affected Buffy so deeply. It was
what happened after that, that erased any doubt Buffy might still have had
in her mind about continuing with what she had started with Faith in the
woods.

{Buffy tossed and turned restlessly then finally opened her eyes. Something
was keeping her awake. Listening for a moment she didn't hear anything in
the room but the regular sound of breathing and was just about to close her
eyes again when she heard a noise that sounded out of place. Almost like a
whimper. Her first instinct was to look at Willow but when she heard the
sound for a second time she realized that it was too close to her to be
Willow. She looked down at the floor. Faith. The sound was coming from
Faith and it was most definitely a whimper.

Buffy flung her bed sheet off of her and quietly got out of the bed. After
looking down at Faith for a moment she kneeled down beside the girl and
reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Faith's body jerked violently and pulled away from her.

"Please don't...please," Faith mumbled softly after she moved away. "I'm
sorry," she went on as she curled herself into a ball.

Buffy looked at her and frowned. She was having a nightmare. Buffy
suddenly felt very protective of the girl curled up in front of her. She
moved forward a bit so that she was once again sitting by Faith.

"Shhh," Buffy said softly reaching out, gently brushing some hair out of
Faith's face. "It's okay," Buffy continued in a soothing tone.

Faith tensed at the first touch of Buffy's hand on her, but as the lighter
Slayer continued to speak to her and caress her gently, Faith's body slowly
relaxed and she started to stretch out again.

"I'm sorry mom," Faith said, hesitantly leaning into Buffy's touch. It was
as if, even in her unconscious state, she was still trying to protect
herself. Either that or she wasn't sure what was going to be the reaction
to her move. Either option saddened and angered Buffy.

"It's okay," Buffy said kindly, still playing with Faith's hair. The Slayer
figured that the easiest way to help Faith get over her nightmare would be
to give her the forgiveness she seemed to be searching for. "I forgive
you," Buffy went on in the same tone. "It's alright."

Buffy was somewhat surprised when a moment later Faith shifted her position
so that she was no longer lying beside Buffy but on top of her. The younger
girl placed her head on Buffy's lap and burrowed up against her.

Buffy opened her to mouth to protest but then swiftly closed it. Faith
seemed relaxed, why should she risk waking her up? Who knew when Faith last
had a good night's sleep? But, Buffy considered she also needed to go to
sleep. The day's events had completely exhausted her, and, she thought,
under the circumstances, that was hardly unreasonable. Buffy sighed; there
was only one option.

Reaching up Buffy grabbed the remaining pillow off of her bed and dragged it
down to the floor with her. Placing it on the floor she carefully
maneuvered herself so that Faith's head was still resting on her, but so,
that she was now in a horizontal position. Repositioning the blanket so
that it covered the both of them, Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. If she
didn't wake up first in the morning she was going to have some explaining to
do.

Somehow she didn't think that Willow would react well to finding her curled
up with Faith, and she didn't think that Faith would react well to it
either. Especially if Faith remembered her nightmare. Oh well, it wouldn't
be the first mistake she had ever made and it certainly wouldn't be the
last.}

Buffy stood up and walked over to the mini fridge she and Willow shared.
She needed to get something to drink. As she bent over and looked at the
badly lit contents of the fridge she remembered how relieved she had been
when she had woken up first that morning. As Buffy headed back over to her
bed, bottle of water in hand, she remembered how she and Faith had gone to
breakfast.

{Buffy, as she had silently prayed would be the case, was indeed the first
person to wake up. Not being able to put it off any longer she carefully
removed herself from Faith's embrace and got up, situating herself back on
her bed. Glancing at the clock she figured that she had a good half hour
before Willow would be up, and as for Faith, well, she couldn't even hazard
a guess what her sleeping habits were like.

Positioning herself on her side, Buffy peered over the edge of her bed to
look at the now peaceful figure on the floor. Now that Buffy could clearly
see Faith's face she noticed how young the girl looked when she was asleep.
Faith was actually younger than Buffy, by about a year the blonde Slayer
guessed since she didn't know for sure, but the other girl had this old aura
about her. It was like she had seen too much too young, and it had made her
weary and jaded beyond her years. Buffy had been told that she had a
similar air about her, but even she could tell that it was different with
Faith. Faith, she guessed, had been like that far before she had even
learned she was a Slayer, whereas Buffy had lived in a state of ignorant
bliss.

Buffy figured that she must have spent the entire half hour, she had guessed
it would take Willow to wake up, looking at Faith because the next thing she
became aware of was a yawn coming from the other side of the room signaling
the hackers wakefulness.

"See, still alive," was Buffy's greeting to her friend. The look Willow
gave her reinforced her own thought that she should have just stuck to 'good
morning' as a greeting.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is she ever going to wake up?" Willow asked Buffy about half an hour later.
Willow was looking at Faith's prone form as she said this.

"She is now," Buffy responded walking over to the body. She had no real
desire to interrupt Faith's slumber, but they had to get going.

"Buffy," Willow said hesitantly. "Do you think just...you know, waking her
up is such a good idea. Maybe you should use this," Willow continued
reaching for the broom.

Buffy shot the hacker an amused grin. "It's alright Will," she said bending
down and touching Faith's shoulder. The moment Buffy's hand made contact
with the brunette's body, Faith jerked upright and a fist shot out from her
body in Buffy's direction--which Buffy barely managed to avoid--and Faith
went scrambling backwards until she backed into Buffy's night side table.

Buffy looked over at Faith wide eyed, and Faith looked back at her with an
equally perplexed expression.

"Told ya you should have used the broom," Willow tisked.

Buffy, who's heart was still beating a mile minute, simply continued to
stare at Faith who just then seemed to be processing what was happening.

"Good morning," Buffy said finally, her voice cracking half way through.

It looked like it was going to be an interesting day.

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"So I'll meet you at the Pulse," Willow said as she flung her book bag over
her head.

Buffy nodded and Willow headed out the door.

"Doesn't she eat?" Faith asked playing with Mr. Gordo--which meant that she
was poking at him.

"She's meeting Tara for breakfast," Buffy answered frowning at Faith's
abusive behavior towards her pig.

"I'll bet," Faith responded a lewd grin spreading across her lips. "After
spending the night with us she's probably desperate for something to eat."

Buffy continued to glare at Faith. Though it was true she had absolutely no
idea what anything Faith just had said meant, it was clear from the look on
her face and the tone of her voice that it probably wasn't good.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked carefully.

"You know, a little morning rendezvous," Faith said doing that wiggle of her
hips she did when she was jazzed about or amused by something. "She'll
definitely be awake for class."

"I repeat," Buffy said slowly. "What are you talking about?"

Faith gaped at Buffy finally conceiving that she was the only person in the
room that had any idea what was going on between the other two girls.

"Nothing," she finally responded. "Hunger deprivation you know. Doesn't do
a body good."

Buffy stared at her knowing that it was most certainly something, but a
something she didn't have time to deal with at the moment.

"If you say so," Buffy responded. "Come on," she continued ushering Faith
out the door.

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Buffy sat back and watched as Faith devoured what had to have been her third
stack of pancakes. It seemed to Buffy as if the girl wasn't so much eating
them as she was inhaling them. Buffy found herself thinking that it seemed
as if Faith hadn't had a decent meal in months, and much to her chagrin she
realized that she was probably right.

"Are you going finish that?" Faith asked snapping Buffy out of her train of
thoughts.

Buffy looked down at her plate.

"Nah," the blonde Slayer responded, but before she had even completed the
word the item of food in question had been removed for her plate. Buffy
smirked. The pancake hut was probably never going to let them back in, ever
again. It reminded Buffy of the Simpson's episode where Homer ate the
entire seafood restaurant's buffet and still wasn't full. Buffy just hoped
Faith would restrain herself from suing anyone.

"We have to stay out of sight until we meet Willow and Tara later," Buffy
said when she was fairly confident Faith was finished.

"Why? Didn't Red already do her computer hocus-pocus?" the brunette asked.

"Yeah, but you still don't have any I.D," Buffy responded sensibly.

"I've never had any I.D," was Faith's answer.

"Well you're going to get some now," Buffy continued. "It'll help diffuse
suspicion. Willow and Tara are taking care of getting it for you now."

Faith looked over at Buffy after she finished speaking, giving the older
Slayer an odd look. Then she shook her head, and opened her mouth as if she
was going to say something, but then she shut it again.

Buffy watched Faith and could tell that she was struggling with something so
she remained quiet letting Faith figure it out. She knew that if she tried
to push, Faith would just shut down.

"I'm about as good at 'thank yous' as I am at apologies," Faith started a
moment later. Buffy remembered the conversation she was referencing to.
Faith had once told her that she wasn't good at apologies because she felt
that the world was out to screw her, which made her generally more owed than
owning. "So this is gonna be real brief, no poetry and symbolism and shit,"
Faith went on. "Thank you."

Buffy smiled. Coming from Faith, that was probably the greatest thing that
had ever been said to her.

"You're welcome," Buffy responded.

Faith shrugged uncomfortably and looked away.

"What's on today's menu?" Faith asked steering the conversation back to more
comfortable territory.

"I've got one class, then we're gonna meet up with Will and head over to
Giles' house."

"Giles?" Faith asked making a face. "I don't think he's gonna be too
thrilled to see me."

Buffy considered making a joke about nobody being thrilled to see her but
getting over it anyway, however she decided that it would be in bad taste.
She and Faith were just starting to get comfortable around each other again
and she didn't want to mess it up with some bad joke. Also, it wouldn't
have been entirely true. Buffy had been glad to see her.

"He'll get over it," Buffy said with absolute certainty. "He'll have to."

"You're so dominant," Faith commented with a smile in response to Buffy's
tone.

"And don't you forget it," Buffy responded winking at Faith. Then she stood
up; it was time to go.

"So, what am I supposed to do when you're in class?" Faith asked as they
headed out the door. "You know what they say about idle hands," she
continued grinning madly at Buffy.

Buffy smirked.

"Willow and I have some laundry that needs to be done," she responded. They
stopped walking for a moment after she said that, and turned to face each
other. They stayed like that for a second, then Buffy took off sprinting
away from Faith who promptly started to chase after her.}
====================================================================

End of Part Three

That's it for now.

Later,
Janine


-------------
I may look like I'm doing
nothing, but at the cellular
level I'm really quite busy.
-------------
Anything worth fighting for
is worth fighting dirty for.
-------------
"If you have love in your life
it can make up for a great many
things you lack. If you don't
have it, no matter what else there
is, it's not enough." - Ann Landers
-------------
"The secret of becoming a star, is
knowing how to behave like one" from
"Velvet Goldmine"
--------------
If someone ever catches you talking to
yourself, the best thing to do is point
at a chair and say, "He started it!"
That way they won't think you're
crazy.
------------
"Never wrestle with a pig. You
both get all dirty, and the pigs
like it!"
-----------

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