From: "Jay, Katherine" <selenay@xxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
To: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [buffyloveswillow] Fic - Conversations
Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 09:30:45 +0100
Hi, I've never posted to this list before so I'm being very brave. This is
probably going to turn into a series if no one objects so feedback would be
appreciated.
Title: Conversations 1/?
Author: Selenay
E-mail: selenay@xxxxxxxxxx Please ignore the addy that this is probably
coming from (it's the work one and I didn't really intend to post from here
but there were a few technicalities with the home one)
Disclaimers: None of these characters belong to me. They all belong to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB et al and I'm only playing so I make no profit. I
promise to put them back neatly when I finish
Summary: Set after the season 4 finale there is an important conversation
Rating: G
Distribution: This isn't archived anywhere so if you want it please ask
first
Feedback: Always appreciated, although flaming isn't
Notes: This is my first foray into the Buffy/Willow world, and my first
posting to this list, so I'm kinda nervous. Be gentle? Please?
"Hi."
"H-hi."
There was a long uncomfortable silence.
"Can I . . .?"
"Oh, yeah, sure."
Tara stepped back from the door and allowed Buffy inside.
"Nice room," Buffy complimented nervously.
"Uh, thanks."
The two girls stood awkwardly in the centre of the room for a moment before
Tara gestured to a chair and sat down on the bed with her legs crossed
under
her. Again there was a long, awkward silence as Buffy looked around,
avoiding Tara's eyes, and Tara alternated between looking at Buffy
nervously
and picking at her shirtsleeve.
"So," Buffy began after a while, and indicated the open suitcase on the
floor, "are you going away for the summer?"
"J-just to see my folks. I'll be back before college starts."
"That'll be nice," Buffy commented and began to nervously twist the handle
of her bag around her fingers.
"Uh, Buffy, not to be rude or anything . . . but . . . what did you want?
I-I assume you're here for a reason," Tara asked.
"I'm not really sure," the Slayer replied, trying to put her nebulous
thoughts into words. "I guess I'm here because of Willow. Things have been
pretty crazy for the past few months so I haven't had a chance to really
talk to you. I just wanted to . . ."
"Find out if I'm good enough for her?" Tara offered with a self-deprecating
smile.
"That's not the way I've have put it," Buffy said with an answering smile,
"but . . . yeah. I didn't know you two were that close and then, well,
Willow surprised me with the whole 'you and her' thing so I want to find
out
about you."
Tara looked closely at Buffy, the look much more intent than her usual shy
glances, and replied, "There's not really that much to tell. I'm just . . .
me."
"I suppose what I'm actually asking is, do you really love her?"
"I don't think anyone who meets Willow could avoid falling a little in love
with her."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, she's Willow . . . a-and she's . . . Willow," Tara tried to explain.
"It would be hard not to fall in love with her."
An image of her redheaded friend's gently smiling face flashed through
Buffy's mind and she was unaware that she smiled softly and murmured,
"Yeah."
Tara's eyes showed a brief spark of pain but that was quickly masked. "How
long have you been in love with her?" she asked quietly.
There was a moment of shocked silence before Buffy replied, "I'm not in
love
with her! What would make you think I feel that way? I am completely not in
love with her. She's my best friend and I'd never break that trust. We're
totally platonic. There's nothing going on. She's . . . she's like a sister
to me. Why would you think I'm in love with her? Not that I am. Of course."
There was another silence as Buffy ran out of steam and tried to get her
confused thoughts to stop whirling around her head. After a moment she
calmly stated, "I am not in love with Willow."
Sensing how upset Buffy was Tara changed tactics. "Willow's always talking
about you, y'know. 'Buffy this', 'Buffy said that' - she really cares for
you. If I were that type, I'd feel jealous."
"Oh." Buffy could not think of anything to say to that.
"But Willow would never do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable,"
the blonde witch continued. "And she loves me, although I know which of us
she'd chose if she ever had to."
"Oh." Still nothing intelligent came to Buffy's mind.
"I love her and I want her to be happy no matter who it's with. Obviously
I'd prefer it to be me, but I can't make her decisions for her."
"I can see that," Buffy said quietly.
"I'd better finish packing," Tara announced, standing.
Buffy stood as well. "I'd better go. You have packing . . . and so do I and
. . . stuff."
Tara walked to the door but did not open it, instead turning to face the
blonde Slayer. "You will look after Willow while I'm gone, won't you? Make
sure she doesn't get l-lonely. Maybe . . . talk to her? She missed you this
year."
"I will," Buffy promised, not entirely certain what she had just promised
to
do.
"G-good," Tara said with a shy smile, although there was pain in her eyes
that Buffy shied away from. "Maybe I'll see you next year."
As the door closed behind her Buffy reflected that while their conversation
had not gone the way she had planned, she felt somehow . . . lighter now.
****************************************************************************
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