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Hi,
Thanks again to everyone for all your kind feedback. I will
try to get e-mail you all personally (because I'm like that) but for now I'll
just have to send out a huge 'thank you!' It's taken me a while but I've finally
had time to write the next conversation. Just don't let my boss know what Iwas
doing while I waited for my reports to run *g*
Title: Conversations 8/?
Author: Selenay E-mail: selenay@xxxxxxxxxx Summary: Lazy sunny days...the perfect time to talk Distribution: This has no home yet, but please ask before posting it elsewhere Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon and those lovely folks at Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB etc. Unfortunately I'm making no money from this. The plot, what there is of it,is all mine. Feedback: Praise, adulation, bribes (chocolate works best ;) etc can be sent to the addy above or the list. I'm easy. Not easy in the easy sense, easy in the...oh, I give up *g* "Ya! Uff . . . ya! Ya! Uff . . . ow!"
"Do you see what I mean now, Buffy? That kick leaves your side
open to my staff."
"You couldn't have told me that without the painful
demonstration?"
"I did. Twice."
The secluded meadow echoed again with thwaps and gruntsas
Buffy sparred with her Watcher. At first Willow had protested against them
training outside where anyone could come along and see, but after three weeks of
it she was finally accepting that it was unlikely anyone would find them. The
meadow was deep in the woods surrounding Sunnydale, not marked on any map and
the only road to it was a tiny dirt track. She and Xander sat or lay on a rug at
a safe distance from the two sparring partners with a cooler of food and drink
and enjoyed the sunshine while Buffy and Giles worked.
"So, Will," Xander began, lying back in the sun with his eyes
shut.
"Mmmm?" Willow muttered vaguely. She was also lying on the rug
but she was more preoccupied with watching the two sparring partners. Strictly
for research purposes, she told herself sternly. After all, who knew when she
would need to use some of those skills? A tiny part of her mind giggled and
asked her who she was fooling but she pushed it into a dark corner and stopped
listening.
"So . . . Will," Xander began again.
"Mmm?"
"So . . . you and Tara. She's not really what I would have
picked out as your type."
"Mmm?"
"Well, I mean she's pretty . . . and she's a witch . . . but I
thought you might have gone for a more . . . outgoing type. Speaking just in the
hypothetical, if I had just theoretically maybe pondered on what type of girl
you'd go for if you were that way inclined. Not to imply that I had
thought of you that way ever before - because I haven't - just in the
conjectural off-chance that I might have possibly wondered what type of girl
you'd chose. Theoretically."
"Mmm."
Xander turned to regard his friend, somewhat surprised that
she had said nothing in response to his jabbering. "Will?"
"Mmm."
"So, are you really going to Barbados with Tara for the
summer?"
"Mmm."
"There's a demon over there with purple spots and flashing
pink horns."
"That's nice."
"I'm planning to buy a motorbike, take Anya and run away to
Vegas to get married."
"Mmm."
Xander sat up, looked at Willow, followed what her eyeswere
watching so intently and then looked down at her again. A thought began to form
in his head. "On second thought, maybe I'll take Buffy."
"Huh?" Willow struggled up and rested on her elbows, a pale
blush slowly creeping up her face. "What are you talking about?"
"Aha! I knew it!" Xander crowed.
"You knew what?"
"I'm not sure . . . oh wait, it's all coming together .. . I
knew Tara wasn't really your type! You weren't paying the slightest bit of
attention to what I was saying."
"I-I was," Willow stuttered, blush becoming
pinker.
"So what did I say?"
"Well . . . you, uh, talked about . . . uh, a demon? . . . and
something about Anya . . . taking Buffy somewhere . . . maybe, and . .
."
"My friend, take it from one who knows - it's difficultto pay
attention to what's going on around you when you're ogling Buffy."
Willow blushed even brighter and looked outraged. "I was not
ogling Buffy!"
Xander kept silent but shot her a disbelieving
look.
"I wasn't! Yes, there might have been a little watchingbut
I'm her friend and she needs to, uh, have someone watch what she's doing and . .
. report any weaknesses." Willow lay back again, pleased with her
logic.
Xander, however, was not easily fooled. Or at least, hewas
not easily fooled this time. "Willow, come on. We've been friends forever -I
know when you're lying. You don't lie well. You may well be lying to yourself,
but you can't to me. You are having more than friendly feelings for
Buffy."
"Xander - hush!" she said, turning to him and putting finger
against his lips. "She could hear you."
"Unlikely, considering she's just dumping Giles on the ground
again. Ouch, that must have hurt."
The redheaded witch glared at her friend. Then she rolled over
and shut her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."
Xander grinned. "You only try to avoid the issue when I'm
right."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Could you be quiet now? I don't want to talk about
it."
The teenager suddenly stilled, and a strangely serious look
appeared on his face. Considering how rarely he was serious the look was more
unexpected than normal. "You don't just have more than friendly feelings for
her, do you?" he asked slowly. "You're in love with her."
Willow was silent for a long time and he was almost afraid
that he had just ruined their friendship by pressing too hard. But finally she
spoke, "Maybe. A little . . . a lot."
She stood abruptly and walked towards the trees. Xanderpaused
for a second and then followed her.
"Will, I'm sorry," he said when they reached what she
evidently considered a safe distance. "You know me - I shoot my mouth off all
the time about things I don't understand. And shouldn't. I just think that
pretending you don't feel that way will be worse for you in the long run. You
can tell me - who will understand crush on Buffy better than your old friend
Xander?"
Willow leaned against a tree and avoided his eyes. "Butyou
can't understand. She's my best friend and she should be able to trust me
completely. Instead I'm betraying her trust by having more than friendly
feelings for her and it's wrong. With you, it was kind of expected. It would
probably have been stranger if you hadn't . . ."
"Lusted after her for three years?" Xander finished with a
grin.
"Yeah, exactly. But with me . . . I'm meant to be the one she
can trust absolutely. I'm meant to be there for her whenever she needs me so she
can tell me anything. I'm not meant to be having wrong thoughts about her. She'd
be disgusted . . . I'm disgusted with myself . . . it's just one whole big,
disgusted thing. I'm a bad, bad person. I love Tara, but I love Buffy and I
still love Oz a little. I'm bad. I'm a bad, evil person."
"Will, we've been fighting evil for four years. I'd know if
you were evil. You're just human."
"I'm a bad human."
Xander moved to stand next to the redheaded witch and put a
friendly arm around her shoulder. "You're not bad. You just have a greater
ability to love than most people do. Take it from one who knows - it's easyto
be a little in love with more than one person. You have to decide whether you
want to be with Tara, who I'm sure you love, or not. I can't tell you how Buffy
feels but I know she wouldn't be disgusted with you if she found out how you
feel."
"You think?"
"I know. If you don't want to be with Tara - don't. If you
want to be with Buffy - tell her. If you decide to stay with Tara - stay. But
you're not a bad person. You're just human."
Willow was silent for a long time and Xander began to worry
that she was angry with him and he was standing within spell range. "Thanks,"
she said at last. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around."
"Aww, shucks, you'll make me blush with your overflowing
praise," he teased, glad to get onto a lighter tone.
Willow began to walk back to the meadow. "I don't want you to
get a swelled head. Anya wouldn't be happy if you couldn't walk through doors
anymore."
They arrived back at the rug just as Giles and Buffy were
finishing their workout. Xander immediately began to investigate the contents of
the picnic while Willow handed the Slayer a towel and a bottle of
water.
"Where did you guys go?" Buffy asked as she accepted the
bottle. "You looked like you were arguing."
"We, uh, went for a walk and we weren't arguing," Willow
protested at the same time as Xander said, "We were debating the relative merits
of Cheesy chips versus Doritos."
There was silence for a moment and then Xander said nervously,
"See? We can't even agree on what we were arguing
about."
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