FF: Conversations part 9

["Selenay" <selenay@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Hi,

Well, the computers at work are having slight 'issues' so I've had a lot of
spare time, sitting staring very dull spreadsheets and letters which are the
only programs I can get into. Which meant I finally had time to write the
next part of Conversations. Thanks for all the kind feedback. You're all
great :)

Title: Conversations 9/?
Author: Selenay
E-mail: selenay@xxxxxxxxxx
Summary: Riley needs to talk to Buffy...
Distribution: This has no home yet, but please ask before posting it
elsewhere
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon and those lovely folks
at Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB etc. Unfortunately I'm making no money from this.
The plot, what there is of it, is all mine.
Feedback: Praise, adulation, bribes (chocolate works best ;) etc can be sent
to the addy above or the list. I'm easy. Not easy in the easy sense, easy in
the...oh, I give up *g*


Buffy was making sandwiches as the phone rang and she picked it up absently
as she cut them.

"Hello," she greeted, expecting to hear Willow's friendly voice at the other
end.

"Hello?"

The voice was Riley's, not Willow's, she felt a long moment of bitter
disappointment before she recovered. Over the past few weeks she had spoken
to her friend several times each day, in addition to the time they spent
together, and all the contact had reinforced how much she had missed that
over the past year.

"Buffy? Hello?" Riley repeated.

"Oh, uh, hi. Hi. How are you?" Buffy asked, wiping her hands on a tea towel.

"I'm good," he replied hesitantly. "And you?"

"Oh, great. I've been hanging out with the Gang, averting the apocalypse -
you know, summer break stuff."

"That's good."

There was a long pause and Buffy took the opportunity to eat part of her
sandwich.

"Buffy?"

"Still here," she replied, her voice muffled slightly by the mouthful of
food.

"I . . . we need to talk."

"Isn't that what we're doing? I'm at one end of the line, you're at the
other - it leads to talking."

"Yeah."

There was another long pause. "Look, Riley, whatever it is you can tell me."

"Pardon?"

"Well, there's obviously something wrong or you wouldn't be calling me,
stuttering and acting nervous when you could be out doing farm stuff."

"Right."

"So, spit it out. Not literally spit, but . . . talk to me?"

"Ok." There was another pause before Riley said quietly. "The truth is . . .
the truth is I'm not coming back to Sunnydale. I've had a lot of time to
think and I can't cope with it. All the things that you see as just another
part of your life . . . the magic . . . the demons . . . all of it . . .
it's not something I ever wanted to cope with and it's not something I can
cope with. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? All of that - it's a part of my life and I thought you wanted
to be a part of it. A part of me."

"Buffy, I wasn't raised to fight it-"

"Neither was I. Neither was Willow, or Xander, but they are a part of it."

"And I can't be. I'm sorry."

"So, that's it? You're just not coming back."

"It's easier this way."

"Easier for who?"

"Both of us. I belong here and you belong there. We come from different
worlds and I can't try to pretend that I fit with you anymore."

"Would it make any difference if I said I'd give up the Slaying and come to
Iowa for you?"

She heard a deep sigh on the telephone. "We both know that would be wrong.
You are the Slayer and to stop that would be to deny who you are."

"When did you get so wise?"

"It's amazing what several weeks of staring into the sky or over corn fields
does for a person."

"So, there's no chance you could come back? No, silly question." Buffy
smiled sadly. "You've made up your mind. I'll miss you though."

"I'll miss you too." There was another long pause. "We could still talk
every now and again. You know, as friends?"

The Slayer smiled wryly. "That never seems to work out. Going back - never
pretty."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. I'm sorry too. I thought we could work."

"We both know we could not have worked out in the long-term. You need
someone who understands you and I'm not that person."

"You could have been."

"I couldn't. There's someone out there who is, but it's not me."

Buffy spent a moment deep in thought and then she said, "You'll be ok?"

"I'm getting there."

"I never wanted it to end up this way. I'm sorry if you were hurt in all
this."

She heard a chuckle along the telephone wire. "It's not your fault. If it's
anyone's, it's mine for getting into the military to start with. You simply
showed me that not everything is black and white. It's something everyone
has to deal with eventually."

"I guess."

"Take care of yourself, and your friends. You're all a lot braver than I
am."

"You're braver than you know."

"Goodbye."

Buffy held the phone to her ear, despite the disconnected tone shrilling
from it, for a long moment before she put it down. "Good bye Riley."

She allowed a few tears to fall before wiping them away. The telephone rang
again just as she picked up her sandwich.

"Hello?"

"Hey Buff," said Willow's cheerful voice. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, this and that. I've made a mountain of sandwiches. Do you want to help
me eat them?"

"Sure. Give me fifteen minutes."

"Great."

Buffy grinned and began making more sandwiches, her heart suddenly lighter
than it had been for a long time. As soon as Riley had told her he was going
home she had known that this conversation was going to take place, and now
that it had she felt refreshed and eager to see what the future held. And
who.