OT: Awards Ceremony!

[bdrhoden@xxxxxxx]

Yes I know this is long and isn't about Buffy but this is how we should treat
our writer. (Well except for the Blame Canada part <G>) Actually we should
top that. with all the lurkers out there we could make it work doncha think?

Dave


<< Subject: Due Credit Awards 2000 Closing Ceremony and Awards Presentation!
From: "Player" <player@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 30 Aug 2000 23:26:25 -0400

The Due Credit Awards 2000
Closing Ceremony and Awards Presentation

The auditorium is filled with the sounds of murmured conversation as
hundreds of women seek their proper places among the rows of seats. A few
men wander through the assembly, some watching in a vaguely stunned
amusement, some actually clutching notebooks and pens such as those wielded
by the majority of the women.

At first, the seating attempts are chaotic at best. Ray Vecchio fans do not
want to sit with Ray Kowalski fans. Slash fans do not want to sit with Gen
fans. A group of ladies clutching thick tomes of Fraser/Thatcher fic butt
heads with another group, who's fic choices label the enigmatic Inspector as
a heartless Ice Queen. Three original characters, searching for seats next
to their authors, all realize that they are married to Benton Fraser, and a
rather alarming debate ensues.

Slowly, however, peace begins to spread through the auditorium like a
soothing balm. Each author, each reader realizes that they have come for a
single purpose.to celebrate the wonderful, uniting endeavor that is
fan-based fiction. Each genre, each like and dislike has equal chance.
Trends and old standbys are expected to make their presence equally known.
The conversation fades from an angry rumble to an anticipatory hum as the
last seats are calmly filled.

The lights dim, and on the large stage at the front of the auditorium, a
pair of eyes can just be seen peeping out from behind one corner of the
curtain. Upon seeing that the audience has settled sufficiently, Constable
Cooper's eyes vanish once more, and only a faint ripple can be seen in the
red serge curtains.

A moment of blackness, of held breath.

Suddenly, the music swells, and the curtains fly apart, the stage bathed now
in bright, golden light. The backdrop is hung with massive American and
Canadian flags, and the music seems strangely familiar. In the center of
the stage, a tall man with sandy blonde hair wears the uniform of a Royal
Canadian Mounted Policeman, his back turned to the audience.

As the musical introduction draws to a conclusion, the Mountie turns, and it
is revealed to be Turnbull. Yet there is an odd addition to his uniform.two
pieces of black tape, crossed in a crude X over his mouth. He rips them
away, and as the music begins anew, he begins to sing:

"Time's have changed!
Our fans are getting worse!
They wont abandon their computers.
They write in prose and verse!
Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?
No! Blame Canada!"

With the beginning of the chorus, additional performers begin to emerge from
the wings to either side. At first glance, they would appear to be a
mixture of Mounties and members of the Chicago PD. Almost immediately,
however, one notices that not only are they all rather shapely young women
arrayed in a manner suited more to the Rockettes than officers of the law,
but that the uniforms of both organizations have been significantly altered.
The customary red serge tunic of the Mounties remains, but cut a good deal
tighter, and the loose jodphurs have been replaced with tights, even as the
boots have sprouted fashionably impressive heels. Only the sacred Stetson
remains unaltered. Likewise, the distinctive checkerboard cap of the
Chicago PD shows no change, though the tailored blue slacks of their uniform
have also transformed to tights, the blue dress jacket cut in such a manner
as to best emphasize the virtues of the push-up brassiere.

With a series of emphatic fan kicks, high kicks, and other variations on the
standard kick line, the curious line of pseudo-law-enforcement dancers
conducts their routine with precision, skill, and dazzling Colgate smiles as
Turnbull continues, unfazed:

"No, blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With Ray's gorgeous deep green eyes,
And that Mountie that won't lie.
Blame Canada,
Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault!
It's Canadas fault!
Don't blame PG,
For the Ray called Stan,
David Marciano had to leave,
And he still had to get his man!
One former Trekkie once,
Had William Shatner on her shelf,
But now she insists on CKR and no one else!
Well, blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
It seems that everythings gone wrong,
Since Canada came along.
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country anyway.
Many fans have been a doctor or a lawyer it's true
Instead they're writing fanfic, it's all they can do!
Should we blame the keyboard?
Should we blame the Mac?
Or the readers who gave them the feedback?
Heck no!
Blame Canada!"

At this last stanza, the line of dancers parts, and Turnbull joins them,
flanked by a 'Chicago Cop' on one side, and a fellow 'Mountie' on the other.
Displaying a surprising agility, he seamlessly joins the high-stepping
choreography for the grand finale:

"Blame Canada!
With all their curling hubbabaloo,
And that bitch Victoria too!
Blame Canada!
Shame on Canada!
The smut we must stop!
The slash we must smash!
Laughter and fun,
must all be undone.
We must blame them and cause a fuss.
Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!"

Breathing a bit hard from his exertions, his face gleaming with sweat and
triumph from beneath the brim of his Stetson, Turnbull leads the dancers in
a final, deep bow. The audience, having overcome their initial
bewilderment, applauds enthusiastically. A few more bows are taken, then
the line parts smartly in the middle, filing off into the wings on either
side.

For a few moments, the stage is deserted, then it darkens, only a single
spotlight illuminating a small podium tucked into the front left-hand corner
of the stage. Another Mountie stands there, running a finger nervously
under the tight, high collar of his red serge dress uniform. His eyes, (the
precise color of which are a matter of great debate) squint slightly as they
try to make out the audience beyond the glare of the spotlight, and he
smiles pleasantly, only a bit of his nervousness apparent, and then only
because the audience knows him with a nearly frightening degree of intimacy.

He clears his throat, takes a sip of water from a small glass, then begins
with a nod towards the wings. "Thank you, Constable Turnbull, for
that.fascinating introduction to tonight's festivities. Ladies, gentlemen,
and wolves, my name is Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police. It is my honor and my privilege to announce the winners of the Due
Credit Awards 2000. These winners will be listed first through third place,
in addition to any ties, and will receive direct notification along with
their awards images over the next 48 hours.

"This awards program has now concluded its second year's nominations and
voting, and the awards I am about to announce are truly your awards. They
include every corner of your fictional endeavors, and they have been given
by a jury of your peers.

"However, before we begin, I would like to remind each of you that these are
not necessarily empirical qualitative judgments, but rather expressions of
individual preferences. Every single author nominated in these awards was
considered the best in their field by someone, and every author who has ever
laid a word upon pen or pixel is deserving of praise. I have always felt
that the bravest thing a man could do was to write down his innermost
thoughts where any stranger could read them. For all the authors, I would
like to offer a round of applause."

The applause that thunders through the auditorium is truly deafening,
pierced by whistles, roars, and people shouting out the names of friends,
fans, and role models. It is a moment of complete unity in the fandom. No
matter what other opinions may be held, there is not a person in that
auditorium who does not understand the special courage of the authors they
have so enjoyed.

When the applause finally dies away, Fraser reaches for a large, creamy
envelope that has been lying on the podium. Unconsciously holding his
breath, he slips one thick, work-worn thumb beneath the seal, breaking it
open. He lifts the flap, removes the paper. A smile comes over his face,
and he begins to read.

"The winners of the Due Credit Awards 2000 are..

***

BEST AUTHOR:
First Place: Cassandra Hope and Carol Trendall
Second Place: Bone
Third Place: Kellie Matthews

BEST NEW AUTHOR:
First Place: Voyagerbabe
Second Place: Bone
Third Place: Shirley Russell

BEST STORY:
First Place: The Better Angels by Aristide and Bone
Second Place: Senseless by Voyagerbabe
Third Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope

BEST SERIES:
First Place: Ben And Phil Series by Cassandra Hope and Carol Trendall
Second Place: Alchemy by Caroline Alert
Third Place: Near Wild Heaven by Audra

BEST ORIGINAL CHARACTER:
First Place: Phil McKenzie by Cassandra Hope and Carol Trendall
Second Place: Casey Sinclair by Cassandra Hope and Carol Trendall
Third Place: Mary by Judi Hardin

BEST DRAMA:
First Place: Roots Rain by Kat Allison
Second Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope
Third Place: Under The Hunter's Moon by Cassandra Hope

BEST HUMOR:
First Place: How Ray Got His Groove Back by Aristide and Bone
Second Place: It's All In The Wrist by Aristide
Third Place: Scenes From An Ice Floe by Magnes

BEST ROMANCE:
First Place: One Word by Sher Haas
Second Place: How Ray Got His Groove Back by Aristide and Bone
Third Place: Letting Go by Cassandra Hope

BEST EPISODE ADDITION:
First Place: To Protect And Serve by Winston
Second Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope
Third Place: TIE
Odds Continued by Ladybug
Layers Part 5 by Bone

BEST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE:
First Place: Somewhere Else To Be by Kellie Matthews
Second Place: Mountie Slayer by E.A. Karras and Magnes
Third Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope

BEST CROSSOVER:
First Place: Northern Comfort by Kellie Matthews
Second Place: Somebody Else's Lover by Lisa Martin and Agnes Joseph
Third Place: A Mountie In Maggody by A. J. Dannehl

BEST GEN POEM:
First Place: Masterpiece by Voyagerbabe
Second Place: This Is Crazy by Voyagerbabe
Third Place: As I Wait by Postcard

BEST SLASH POEM:
To Protect A Heart (Only Nominee) Author Unknown

BEST PARODY OR FILK:
First Place: The Mountie Mash by Cassandra Hope
Second Place: Diefenbaker's Twelve Days Of Christmas by Jackie
Third Place: Due South - The Unofficial Song by Jackie

BEST GEN PG-13:
First Place: Under The Cold Moon by Cassandra Hope
Second Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope
Third Place: Under The Hunter's Moon by Cassandra Hope

BEST GEN NC-17
First Place: Letting Go by Cassandra Hope
Second Place: The Voyeur by Courser
Third Place: Winter's Night by Jo March

BEST SLASH PG-13
First Place: The Way We Weren't by Carol Trendall
Second Place: Roots Rain by Kat Allison
Third Place: TIE
The Company Of Wolves by Viridian5
Unconscious by Viridian5
Mardis Gras Trio by Carol Trendall

BEST SLASH NC-17
First Place: TIE
How Ray Got His Groove Back by Aristide and Bone
Layers, Part Five by Bone
Second Place: Garnish by Kellie Matthews
Third Place: TIE
The Better Angels by Aristide and Bone
Northern Comfort by Kellie Matthews

BEST FRASER/THATCHER:
First Place: TIE
Ice Queen by Icecat
Twelfth Night by Jo March
Second Place: March the 11th, Sequel To A Kiss by Mary
Third Place: Winter's Night by Jo March

BEST FRASER/RAY VECCHIO:
First Place: In Your Corner by Dawn M. Pares
Second Place: TIE
The Death Of Armondo Langoustini by Innisuq
Dead Wrong by Manna LaDroit
Third Place: Double Or Nothing by Manna LaDroit

BEST FRASER/RAY KOWALSKI:
First Place: How Ray Got His Groove Back by Aristide and Bone
Second Place: The Better Angels by Aristide and Bone
Third Place: Somewhere Else To Be by Kellie Matthews

BEST FRASER/OTHER MAN:
First Place: Northern Comfort by Kellie Matthews
Second Place: The Way We Weren't by Carol Trendall
Third Place: TIE
To The Memory Of The Late Sean O'Leary by Corrine
Honestly by LaTonya

BEST FRASER/OTHER WOMAN:
First Place: All Your Kisses I Still Taste by Carol Trendall
Second Place: Letting Go by Cassandra Hope
Third Place: Chasms Of The Mind by Cassandra Hope

BEST RAY VECCHIO/OTHER MAN:
First Place: TIE!
Let's Settle This Like Gentlemen by Shannon McKinnon
Reality Check by Shannon McKinnon
Four Degrees Of Separation by Elaine Walker
Second Place: The Letter by Barbara Webb
Third Place: All's Fair In Love And War by Jennifer Saenz

BEST RAY VECCHIO/OTHER WOMAN:
First Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope
Second Place: Leaving Las Vegas In Thirty-Four Pieces by Shirley Russell
Third Place: Abbey Normal by Kali Sanderson

BEST RAY KOWALSKI/OTHER MAN:
First Place: Volpe by Te
Second Place: Kahlua by Te
Third Place: The Way We Weren't by Carol Trendall

BEST RAY KOWALSKI/OTHER WOMAN:
First Place: One Is A Lonely Number by Shirley Russell
Second Place: The Meaning Of Lonely by M. Megan O'Neill
Third Place: Face To Face by Laura Lee

BEST THATCHER/OTHER MAN:
First Place: Call Of The City by Cassandra Hope
Second Place: Who'd Have Thought by Amethyst
Third Place: The Viewing by Tanya Reed

BEST OTHER MAN/OTHER WOMAN:
First Place: In The Light Of The Silvery Moon by Shirley Russell
Second Place: Gift Of Joy by Debbie Hann
Third Place: Turnbull's Turn by Courser

***

The awards thus dully listed, he clears his throat again to break up the
bustle of conversation that has erupted among the audience. "I thank you
all for your patience with these awards, but before I let you go, I have
some people to thank, and I have some announcements to make.

"First, I would like to thank all of you for your patience this year. I
know things didn't run very smoothly, but there were some computer problems,
family problems, and difficulties with AOL and Hotmail that plagued your
administrator this year. Strwriter would like to thank everyone for being
so sweet and understanding with the myriad delays and extensions.

Second, Strwriter would like to extend her deepest and most profound thanks
to two wonderful individuals, without whom these awards would never have
been finished. These ladies put in every bit as much time and effort as she
did, and deserve full credit for their hard work. This thing would have
been a bloody, tattered mess without them. They labored under the fires of
Hotmail and anonymity through the entire affair, Str knowing nothing about
them, they knowing nothing about each other. Only now, with the awards
concluded, may they be unmasked to myself, Strwriter, each other, and the
rest of the appreciative fan community."

***

PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS ASSISTANT ONE:
Aislinn
aislinn040@xxxxxxx

I'm pretty much a Fraser/Kowalski girl right down the line, with some
Ray/Ray thrown in for good measure. While I'm a fan of all the seasons,
Callum Rennie is just too fine not to focus on completely. I started out
with the Hercules fandom then moved on to the X-Files. Once I discovered the
joys of Due South and the boys by way of Red Thunder's incredible crossover
masterpiece, I was hooked, and have been here ever since. I'm more of a
reader than a writer, though I did dip my foot in the pool with "Thank You,
Turnbull"; a Christmas PWP.

***

PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS ASSISTANT TWO:
Vixenrouge
vixenrouge@xxxxxxxxx

Hi, I'm Vixenrouge, proud member in good standing of The Church of the
Flaming Riv! Relatively new to DS fandom, I'm an avid reader of F/V slash of
any rating, and any good gen/het fic. I've written a few small things, and I
have a story in the upcoming printzine 'True South', but mostly I hang about
several DS lists.

I'd like to salute the long-suffering and hard-working Strwriter for
allowing me to use long dormant math skills. Sorry to see you go, kid.

And I'd like raise a Vecchian toast (cranberry juice with club soda, twist
of lime) to my anonymous counterpart from Kamp Kowalski, Assistant 1. May
there always be Smarties in your coffee and a song in your heart.

***

"A sincere Thank You Kindly must also be extended to Voyagerbabe, who wrote
the introduction to the awards ceremony as a favor to Strwriter, who had an
English assignment due."

The tone of Fraser's voice changes, becoming quieter, more solemn. "Now
that the thanks are concluded, I must convey a final announcement to you,
this one laden with regret. I am sorry to say that the Due Credit Awards,
Due South fandom, Due South fan fiction, and the internet in general has
caused great tension in Strwriter's family. As a result of this, Strwriter
is going to be leaving the fandom entirely tonight at midnight. After this
time, she will have withdrawn from all lists, terminated all fan fiction
endeavors, and will no longer participate in any fandom to any degree. She
would request also that any and all email messages to her regarding Due
South, the fandom, her leaving thereof, or any other matter be sent within
the next twenty-four hours, and no contact be made after that, as she will
be using the internet for strictly observed scholastic purposes only.

"Regarding the continuation of the Due Credit Awards into the year 2001 and
beyond, the care of the awards program has been turned over to Jen LG and
Icecat, who have volunteered to manage the awards in years to come.
Strwriter will be transferring to them all related files and information she
has compiled, and requests only that they continue it in the spirit it was
conceived.one of fairness, generosity, and inclusion.

"It is with deep regret and heavy heart that Strwriter leaves you. She has
come to consider many of you to be friends, and has greatly enjoyed the
fanfic endeavors of many more. She hopes to be remembered as someone who
liked doing things for people, but most of all, she hopes to be remembered
for these awards, and for the spirit of unity within them. This is not the
place for personal good-byes or explanations, but there will be a second
letter following close on the heels of this. That letter will be more
detailed in both its farewells as well as the reason for Str's departure.

"Thank you kindly for participating in the Second Annual Due Credit Awards."

The Mountie nods, touching the brim of his hat in what seems almost a
salute.

The stage goes dark.

***

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