Smurf Infestation in the LGA and Amazon Forest

["Bill LaBarbera" <asagiri@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

To: Tater, Head of the United Vegetable Empire, Queen Gabrielle and
the Amazon War-Council and Shadow, Director of Public Safety for
SECoLGA.

From: Bill, Vice-President of Monetary Embezzlement and Lawyerial
Affairs.

Subject: Smurf infestation

This Smurf infestation has spread from the Cabbage Patch and they have
now moved into the Vampire Tomato Garden. In an effort to defend
themselves the Vampire Tomatoes attacked the Smurfs, unfortunately
their was a side-effect when the Vampire Tomatoes drank the Smurf
blood. They now turned blue and started singing ?Joxer the Mighty? as
loudly (and off-key) possible. As we all know, the Vampire Tomatoes
are relatively peaceful, but this infestation forced them to attack
the Smurfs and over half the attacking Tomatoes were turned to Smurfs.
The surviving Vampire Tomatoes have retreated further in the Woods
Outback.

It appears that the Smurfs are growing in numbers as well, I suspect
that they have opened a portal to ?Smurf-World? to get reinforcements
and with this latest move they?ve started moving towards the Amazon
encampment. Singing the ?Joxer the Mighty? song and terrifying all who
hear it. There are also signs they are building a Shrine and Temple to
this ?Joxer the Mighty? and all his exploits saving the world.

Certain members of the List have suggested we use the spell by the
Smurf's arch-nemesis, Gargamel. Which will turn all the Smurfs to
gold, however capturing 5 of them is just too dangerous.

These Smurfs must be stopped at all costs, I therefore suggest that
the Amazons led by the Gabrielle and Xena move to destroy the Shrine
and Temple as soon as possible, before more converts can join their
demented cause. Shadow, it is time. We must give Quin authorization to
use the dreaded ?Wet Noodle Nukes? to destroy these creatures and have
our resident Wicca?s (Willow the Red Fox and her coven) close the
portal allowing them access once and for all.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled fics, thank you for
your attention.

Bill L.
Vice-President of Monetary Embezzlement and Lawyerial Affairs
Backup (or is that Safety?) Bartender to (the missing) Sam I Am the
Koala
Resident Gopher in the Sunnydale Forest Woods Outback
Proud Card Carrying member of the PB&RMD (Poodle-Boy & Riley Must Die)
Society
Proud Papa Gopher of Matthew Timothy Gopher.