RE: Re: Intro of a lurker (gutter memo)

["Bill LaBarbera" <asagiri@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

To: The Masked Road Runner aka Listmum, and Troll Douglas
From: Vice-President of Monetary Embezzlement and Lawyerial Affairs
Subject: New List Gutter member & resident the in the Sunnydale Woods
Outback

Thank your for letting me know about our newest member, I have had my attack
lawyers moved away from Troll Douglas until we are able to show them he is
harmless. We wouldn't want any random acts of litigation against an innocent
Troll.
Douglas, as the resident Gopher of the Sunnydale Forest Woods Outback, I
welcome you to our humble forest. My baby gopher, Matthew, has a tendency to
wander about the Woods and he may try biting your ankles. Please be nice,
he's teething. : )
Just let any of the forest members know if he finds you and starts to gnaw
on your ankles and I will come get him.
You may have some sleepless nights due to the antics of a Koala wearing a
neon green shirt, purple pants and Oakley sunglasses since he will be
running across your bridge at all hours. Sam is our resident trouble-maker
(whether he admits it or not! AND I have the videotape to prove it!) Try to
be understanding.

Bill
Vice-President of Monetary Embezzlement and Lawyerial Affairs
Backup Bartender to Sam I Am the Koala
Resident Gopher in the Sunnydale Forest Woods Outback
Proud Papa Gopher to Matthew Gopher
Card-Carrying Member of P.B.M.D Society (Poodle-Boy Must Die)


-----Original Message-----
From: Kimber [mailto:kacoe@xxxxxxx]
Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2000 11:25 PM
To: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Intro of a lurker (gutter memo)


TO: All heads of the departments of the woods outback, the Mad Poet
Society, Head of the UVE, Chief Security Officer, Manager of Lawyerial
Affairs, The Head of the Gutter Safety Committee and all interested and
disinterested parties.
RE: New Gutter Member
FROM: The Masked Road Runner (meep!meep!) aka Listmum


Please be aware of our newest Gutter member, The Troll Under The Bridge
in The Woods Outback and Gutter Proper. This is basically a friendly
Troll and will not bite or harm you unless provoked. The only things
known to provoke said Troll are, "I LOVE RILEY FINN" button wearers,
sign carriers and t-shirt wearers - The members of the Bring Captain
Cardboard Back Society and ::shudder:: Riley Finn himself. Do not be
alarmed. Rather, please help me in welcoming this fine addition to the
Woods Outback and Gutter Proper. I'm sure he will fit right in.

PS.
If anyone comes across a drooling, dimented vampire fruit bat in their
travels, please give her Playstation a message for me: <Insert
menacing, evil, gutteral growl here>

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic.1

Douglas DeGidio wrote:

> I lurk!
>
> It is cold and dark and wet and I lurk!
>
> I hear footsteps coming near the bridge and I sneak a
> look. Children, I don't feed on children so I let them
> cross unaware of my presence.
>
> I still lurk in the dark under the bridge!
>
> I hear footsteps again. Again I sneak a look. Young
> lovers. Still not to my taste, I only feed on the evil
> that needs to be removed from the world.
>
> I still lurk in the dark, but I am not really hungry
> because feeding has been good lately. Way too good!
> There is a lot of evil in the world.
>
> I hear footsteps again. Again I sneak a look. Again
> the evil approaches my bridge. Two coeds wearing "I
> LOVE RILEY FINN" buttons. I will feed again tonight!
>
> Maybe someday Riley Finn will try to cross.
>
> The Troll
>
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