FF: Without You

["Sam" <shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx>]

Without You
By Sam


Email: shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: BtVS are the properly of WB and Joss, I do not own them,
this is for entertainment purposes only
Archive: The usual suspects, all others just ask.
Pairing: B/W
Angst alert: Character death ahead. I'm in a dark mood right now
this is the result. Feedback is welcome and appreciated.


Willow sat beside the hospital bed listening to the methodical sound
of the respirator that her best friend in the world was hooked up
to. In the background she could make out the steady beeping of the
monitor that said for now Buffy is OK.

She tightly clenched the slayers hand, and looked into her unblinking
blue eyes, tears slowly ran down her cheek as she gently rocked back
and forth in the chair she had spent the last several nights in.

" I wish you would wake, there is so much so much I want to tell
you."

Willow wiped some of the tears for her cry and leaned over next to
Buffy resting her head on the slayers pillow.

" I want to tell you that I love you, I have for awhile now, I don't
know why I never said it to you, I guess that I was afraid. I had
your
friendship and I didn't want to loose that, I guess I was a coward.
I don't know why I am saying this now, I know you can't hear me,
maybe that's why, maybe they only way I'll be able to say this to you
is when you can't hear me."

Willow lifted her head up of the pillow, and leaned shaking back into
the chair, her words came out in sobs as she continued to speak to
her silent friend.

" I pray that that's not true, I pray that when you pull out of this
I'll have the courage to tell you how feel. I want to tell you that
I love you, that I want to be with you. I want to tell you that my
world revolves around you and that I'll never love anybody as much as
I love you."

Willow stood up and walked over to the window of the hospital room,
she leaned her head up against the window and was silent for the
longest time.

" Why couldn't I tell you that before the demons came and did this
to you? I was such a fool, all the missed opportunities to tell you
how I felt, they all fell through the cracks as my cowardliness
concealed them from you, If only I could have told you how I feel."

Willow turned around slowly and looked at Buffy as she lay
motionlessly in the bed.

" You have to wake you just have to. I don't think I can go on in a
world without you. You mean everything to me. I love you so much it
hurts. I can't bare to see you like this, but it hurts even more not
to be here with you. Please Buffy you just have to wake up."

Willows eyes filled with terror as the steady beeping of the monitors
gave way to a horrific hum. She dropped to her knees and openly wept
as a team of nurses and doctors rushed into the room.

" No, Don't leave me Buffy. Please Don't leave me."

Willow stood alone next to Buffy's grave, tears of anguish freely
flowed down her cheeks as she ran her hand slowly across the cold
tombstone of her hearts desire.

" We buried you today, everyone came. Giles brought your mom, she's
not doing so well right now but none of us are."

Willow paused for a moment and tried futilely to fight back the wave
of
sorrow that had consumed her that last few days.

" I miss you so much, I have no idea how I'm going to continue to go
on with you not here. Each day is like a dagger through my heart, I
can bare not having you here with me. God, why did you take her from
me, I never got the chance to tell her I love her."

Willow dropped to her knees as the pain got the best of her. She
wrapped her arms around the tombstone and cried out in anguish.

" Is this the only way I'll ever get to hold, If only I could have
said those simple words to you why you where still here. I love, I
always have and I always will. I don't think I'll ever be able to
love another."

" Buffy why did you leave me, why did you have to go so soon. I
miss you so much I can barely breath, why did this have to happen,
Why!"

After a half-hour of waiting for her to finish Xander and Giles slowly
walked over to Willow and helped her of the ground, they lead her
over to Giles car and helped her into the back seat. Willow wiped
the tears from her bloodshot eyes, and lowered her head and suffered
in silence.