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Title: A Mystical Experience
Rating: R Author: Pat Kelly Summary: Buffy and Faith. An island. Strangness. History. Problems. What happens? Spoilers: Post-"Crush", Pre-"I Was
Made to Love You." General Angel. If you don't know Faith's in
jail...
Disclaimer: All hail Joss and his army of Mutant Enemies. I don't own BTVS. I make no money. MYST and all it's locations and characters are completely spawned from the rich minds of the people at Cyan, Inc. I use out of respect. All songs are from Dave Matthews Band's soon to be released fourth studio album, "Everyday." It rules. Go get it when you can. Dave wrote 'em, he owns 'em. A MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE (I know I'll miss her later Faith always got an immense amount of pleasure out of lifting weights. Her strength freaked her fellow inmates, and because of that, she was generallyleft alone. As long as she wasn't bugged, she was happy. She had a lot to pay for, and if some stupid chick with an attitude tried to start something, she'd have to fight back, end up busting her jaw, and then she'd be right back on the lowest rung of the redemption ladder. Self-defense it might be, but there was no such thing in prison. The guards beat you and you both got tossed in the pit they called solitary. Not at the same time, obviously. The instigator went first, the offense dictating the time limit, and the girl on deck was tossed in her cell, a guard on her until it was her turn. Most of the time, Faith wasn't even paying attention to the goings on ofher new home. She sat in the little barred room they gave her, she preferred that over everything else, and thought about her. Dreamt about making it up to her. Doing the right thing so she would be let in again someday. Maybe even telling her...you always hurt the ones you... She was doing it for herself too, but her once partner was a major driving
force. She still couldn't believe she had let herself go as far as she did.She
had always known she was messed up, but she never thought she was capable of
murder. But they couldn't make that stick, cause the once Mayor had cleanedthat
up. Her confession wasn't enough. All they had was a few assaults, a torture or
two...but what they had didn't matter. She had screwed up, she knew that, and
she wanted to earn her ticket out so she could go kick some demon ass again, get
back into the world and be productive. Side by side with her, of course.
Buffy. And that's the one thing that sucked about being in here. Buffy was out there, and there was no guarantee that she'd be around in how ever many years it took before they let her out. Faith couldn't help her, or back her up. If she died... At their last meeting the blonde despised her, and she had deserved every word, even though it had been uncharacteristically harsh. But since then, she had no idea what Buffy was up to. Angel didn't come around anymore. Depressing herself, she set down the barbell and went over to the guard. It was time to go dream. "Cell." Faith told him. "You're a strange one, Wilk -" He began to say. "Just Faith." "You're a strange one, Faith. I swear, you're the only girl around here who likes her bars." "Yeah well, they're better conversationalists than anyone else in this shit hole." She smiled.
Just before they got to the cell, Faith noticed that someone left a bookcart sitting around. The guys in the library were going to be pissed. Not like she cared, but they were. For the hell of it, she grabbed a book. The guard looked surprised. "Tryin' to become the poster girl for the Con Literacy Program." She told him. "I never heard of..." He trailed off, letting her into her cell and locking it up. She winked, sitting down on the bottom bed of the bunk. She switched from time to time. Nobody wanted to share with her. Imagine that. The guard shook his head with a grin, and she sighed as he walked away. (Oh, I sleep just to dream her She figured reading would put her to sleep, so she opened up the book. It was pretty damn old from what she could tell. And filled with gibberish. If they were words, she didn't know what language they were. Giles probably would've gotten a kick out of this. She flipped through the pages. Her eyes bugged out when she saw what was on the last page, and she just couldn't help herself.She had to touch it. It looked so real. * I realized the moment I fell into the fissure that the book would not be destroyed as I had planned. It continued falling intothat starry expanse, of which I had only a fleeting glimpse. I have tried to speculate where it might have landed, but I must admit that such conjectureis futile. Still, questions about whose hands might one day hold my Myst book are unsettling to me. I know my apprehension might never be allayed, and so I close, realizing that perhaps the ending has not yet been written...*For a moment she felt lightheaded, and then she was gone. *** 'Pick me up, love! Pick me up, love Hey, how long, how long, how long Everyday Everyday, ah 'Pick me up, oh, from the bottom Up to the top, love, everyday Pay no mind to taunts or advances I take my chances on everyday 'Left to right Up and down, love I push up love, love everyday Jump in the mud, oh Get your hands dirty with Love it up on everyday' How did Giles sucker her into this? She had come here to train, but now she was helping Giles clean the store. He had closed to devote the whole day to straightening the place up. "If you're gonna keep making me do this," Buffy yelled from the storage closet, "you could at least pay me something." "You can't simply do me a favor?" He asked, calling back to her. "Anya refused, something about dirt and disease, and I needed assistance." "But she's your employee! Shouldn't you have made her do what you asked?" "I've learned not to...push her." "Oh, so I'm just some big pushover who'll always do what you ask?" "That's what I was counting on." 'All you need is All you want is All you need is love. All you need is What you want is All you need is love. 'Everyday Everyday Oh, Everyday...' "Shut up." Buffy muttered, got up, and stopped the music. Xander's new CD was taunting her, playing in the boom box on the counter. She knew she needed and wanted love, but her boyfriend left and a twisted vampire seemed to be her only shot. She was feeling pretty crappy, and the song wasn't helping her at all. Love wasn't in the cards for her, and it sucked. Like she had the time, anyway. Glory, the Bitch God from Hell, wasn't letting up. Itwas only a matter of time before everything got shot to...Hell. The god reminded her of Faith a lot, actually. The way she got under her skin. Except Glory really did want to kill her family and friends. Pure evil. She didn't think the brunette ever *wanted* to, but Faith would have if she thought she had to in order to keep surviving. How does someone become that detached? Buffy couldn't help but think that maybe it was her fault. At least partly. But now wasn't the time to think about her darker half. Faith was where she belonged, and that was the end of it. Even though what she did in LA and outside the loft still haunted her dreams...no. She wouldn't. Going back to the closet, she bumped into the shelf, and caught a book that she had caused to fall. It was old, dusty, and she had no idea where it came from. "Hey, Giles, what's...?" She trailed off, absentmindedly beginning to go through the pages. When she got to the last page, she gasped. There was an illustration. And it was...moving. It showed an amazing looking island, with a forest, marble buildings, and a ship that was underwater. It was indescribable. And impossible. Faulty slayer senses were making her see things. She decided to smooth out the page so her eyes could focus. * I realized the moment I fell into the fissure that the book would not be destroyed as I had planned. It continued falling intothat starry expanse, of which I had only a fleeting glimpse. I have tried to speculate where it might have landed, but I must admit that such conjectureis futile. Still, questions about whose hands might one day hold my Myst book are unsettling to me. I know my apprehension might never be allayed, and so I close, realizing that perhaps the ending has not yet been written...*For a moment she felt lightheaded, and then she was gone. *** When Buffy came to, she found herself lying on a dock. She got up slowly, shocked and surprised. She looked around in silence, before speaking to herself. "Okay...so what do I know for sure? That Giles is so gonna kill me when I get back. If I get back." What was she saying? Of course she would. "Look before you leap, he says, or it'll get me in serious trouble. Well I hope he's happy. Better figure out where the hell I am, I guess." She walked along the dock, hearing the sound of her feet hitting the wooden planks. To her left she saw a raised walkway, to her right, ocean. With a Crow's Nest peaking out just above its surface. A sunken ship? If she read a book every once and awhile, she probably would have found that cliché. There was a small set of steps that curved left and connected to the walkway, and to the right of them, sitting on the dock, was some kind of switch attached to a podium. At the top of the set of steps, there were more steps that curved right, and climbed upwards. Climbing the first few and grasping the railing, she squinted and saw what looked like a giant gear jutting out of the platform the longer set of stairs led to. She also thought she could make out another switch. Something told her there was something to see on the ground first, so she didn't go to the very high up platform. She stepped onto the walkway, and followed it to even more steps that led to path of wooden beams that were laid on the ground. She followed them to a dome-shaped building, which had columns on its walls. Gray marble. Whoever made this place was definitely big on marble. "Or whoever wrote this place." She said quietly to herself Buffy decided not to go into the buildings just yet, and turned and followed the grass path. *** Faith sat crouched at the end of the small forest, not knowing that Buffy was slowly coming in her direction. She was tossing stones she found into the ocean that surrounded the island, and watched them skip across the water. This was a strange place, but it was better than prison. Peace and quiet just like her cell, but she was completely alone and had a view. She had seen butterflies. And she was cut off from society, just the way it should be. Though she doubtedshe was anywhere in the U.S. A book had brought her here. A book. Totally bizarre. A few feet away from her, a mechanism with two wheels, controlled the hour and minute hands on a clock tower that was out in the ocean all by itself. She had no clue what the hell it was for, but it was the kick. Jut like the rest of the island. There was a damn spaceship. It was locked though, which sucked. She got the feeling that this was one giant puzzle, and she had to put the pieces together. But if someone was making her jump through hoops, or this was magick or a demon trick, she'd be royally ticked off. She heard something then. Her slayer abilities weren't completely inept.As the person got closer and closer, all thoughts of attacking went out of her head. She didn’t move. She knew who it was; she could feel it. When the footsteps stopped, she heard the voice. The voice that had driven her crazy, emotionally and mentally, that had annoyed her, that had told her to get the hell out of the way of a hungry vampire, that had reached out to her, that had made her laugh, that had made her feel things she hadn't known how to handle. *Her* voice. "Hello?" Buffy asked hesitantly. Faith turned around, and gave her ex-partner a small and hesitant smile. "Hey, B. How ya been?" *** The blonde turned to steel, and crossed her arms over her chest. Hostility drifted off of her in waves, stinging the brunette. "I should've known that you...what's going on here, Faith?" "Somebody's warped idea of a Gilligan's Island/Twilight Zone crossover?" Buffy wasn't amused. "You did this. Somehow you did this." "Yeah, that makes alotta sense." Came the snorted reply. "It makes perfect sense. Perfect sensical sense." Faith stood up with a sigh, and stepped closer to Buffy, who promptly took two steps back. She flinched, but she didn't think Buffy noticed. "So what do you wanna do, B? Knock me out? Go ahead." The petite slayer was thrown. "Then you can tie me up. With rope that this place doesn't have, and hand me overto the men in blue that aren't here." "How do you know that there aren't people here? Or that there's no rope?" Her eyes were accusing. "Geez, I don't know," Faith said sarcastically, "cause I looked? Oh I got it. You can throw me into the ocean and hope I drown. The odds of anyone finding me are pretty damn slim." Buffy didn't say anything; she seemed ashamed. "We both know this place is deserted. It's just you and me, girlfriend." She paused before continuing. "I was in my cell, reading this book, hand on picture...here I was. What about you?" Buffy cleared her throat. "Uh...same. Except I was in a storage closet." "Doing what exactly?" Faith grinned. "Cleaning." Was Buffy's simple answer. "Fine. We both got here cause of our own stupidity. I knew there was a reason I was against books." "Cause they make you feel stupid?" "No!" Buffy said sharply. "Cause they're evil." "Oh." They both stood there awkwardly. "I'm not gonna drown you, just soyou know." "I wouldn't let you get a chance to." She coughed. "But I'm not gonna drown you either. Just so you know." "No drowning." Faith smirked. "Uh...it's your call." "K, we both have places we need to be, so..." Buffy took a deep breath. "It would probably help if we worked together. But if you try anything..." "Don't worry, B. I'll be good." They both knew she meant it. The older slayer nodded. "Now, since you're the expert on this place, why don't you show me around?" "I never said I was..." Buffy held her hand out. "All right, I'll play tour guide. Come on." *** (You cannot quit me so quickly Looking around at the octagon-shaped library, and the shelves of burnt books, Buffy got suspicious. "Don't suppose you did this." Faith shook her head, hiding her hurt. "Just checking." A chandelier lit the place, and had oak floors, walls...the ceiling had some
kind of design painted on it. On either side of the largest bookcase were two
paintings. One was of a passage that looked like it was somewhere inside the
library, and the other was of the doorway. To the left of the doorway was a
fireplace, and on the right, a painting that seemed to depict the island. On the
left and right sides of the library were two display podiums that looked
charred. "Whoever did this had a plan, though." Faith observed. "And you know this...?" "Cause if they were just arson-happy, they would've torched the whole building." She bent down in front of the large bookcase. "And there's five books that are readable. English. Either we got some wicked intelligent flames or -" (But will I hold you again? "I get it." Buffy interrupted. "But the guys who did this are long gone, right?" "Have to be. We woulda picked up on it if they weren't." "Yeah..." They looked at each other, sadness in their eyes. What they lost was plainly obvious, with the way they were conversing now. Tense, avoiding, closed off. It wasn't the same, and they doubted it ever would be, the way things were going. Both girls missed what they had had once, the repartee, the banter, and the sense that they were one. But how could it possibly be regained? You just can't forget a history like the one they had.
The rain that falls "Should we read?" Faith wondered. "Mind if we put that off for as long as possible?" Faith smiled at her. "I'm with you." Buffy almost let herself smile back. Almost. "What about this map?" She stood, and went over to the painting. Running her hand across the surface, she felt a small, but barely noticeable protrusion. She pushed in,and there was a small hum. An outline of the buildings on the island appeared suddenly, and a circle thing was sitting behind the picture of the library,with a line coming out of it. At certain points of the island, the line would become red. Faith released the button when the line went over the ship that was underwater, and that's when she noticed the words 'TOWER ROTATION' at the bottom of the map. Then there was a sound. Like gears shifting and something turning. "What did you do?" Buffy asked, glancing around worriedly. 'A puzzle.' Faith thought, and then grinned. 'An idea.' "B, there should be a hidden button on the painting that looks like steps. Push it." "Why?" "Just...trust me." She choked. "Trust you?" "Please? You don't wanna see me beg." Actually a part of Buffy did, but she simply shook her head in confusion, but found the button like she was told. Who was in control here? The picture swirled, and then a stone wall came crashing down in the doorway, trapping them. Meanwhile, the main bookcase lowered and screeched, forming steps just likein the painting. When it was all over, Faith was congratulating herself, and the blonde had instinctively latched onto her arm in fright. "Scared?" Faith asked. "Me? You've got to be kidding." Buffy was flabbergasted. "I just trippedand you were there, so I...stopped myself from falling, that's all." Like she'd want protection from a psychotic killer. She was slowly beginning to question the psychotic part though, and she cursed herself for it. This was Faith. She had to remain distant and not let any feeling out. It would be used against her. So why wasn't she letting her go? "Then why the vice grip?" "Uh..." "You gonna let go or what?" "No way. We're gonna go to wherever that leads, and I don't want you trying to ditch me." "That was almost convincing. Really." Faith smirked. "Whatever. If you're gonna latch, how about just the hand, huh?" "Sure. I can compromise." She grabbed her hand, and tried to make it look like it was a completely normal thing to do. "Better get a move on." "Gonna thank me for getting us a lead?" "Don't push it." Faith didn't. At least Buffy wasn't revolted at the thought of physical contact. It was a step anyway. They entered the corridor, which was surprisingly lit, still holding hands.
*** After finding a very small elevator at the end of the passage, cramming inside and riding to the top, and trying very hard not to notice the closeness of their bodies, they had come to a small room, which had two ladders on either side of the elevator. Going up the one with a "book" plaque attached to it let them see outside, and see the submerged ship. The other ladder, with a key plaque led to a stone wall that had yet another plaque. On that were three different dates, but besides coming to the conclusion that they were in the tower, they were stumped. They were sitting on the steps of the gear platform now, looking at the Crow's Nest sticking out of the water, not coming up with any ideas. "How're the second stringers?" Faith asked. "No. We're not sharing or playing catch up." Buffy told her. "And they aren't second stringers." "We're not? Tell ya what. I'll go first. I've been in jail for the past ten months, what've you been up to?" "If I tell you anything, you'll probably file it away so you can use it later, and add it to the plan you've been coming up with for the past ten months. It's really kinda clever. Stay locked up for almost a year, make us think you're not gonna try anything so we forget you, and that's when you come after us." "You got some imagination." The brunette shook her head in disbelief. "If you knew me at all, you'd know if I wanted to escape, I woulda done it in the first week. And when have I ever planned anything? The prison isn't Oz, B. I don't have any connections on the outside. The other chicks hate me, I hate 'em right back." "That's just it, Faith. The only thing I know for sure when it comes to you, is that I never knew you at all." "Guess that goes both ways. I never had you pegged as someone who'd staba person in the gut. Not in a million years." Faith was getting angry now. She cast her eyes downward, but quickly recovered. "You mean you never thought I'd act like you?" Faith looked as if she'd gotten stabbed all over again. "It's funny what some people can drive you to do." The blonde retorted. "Couldn't agree more. I mean, I never thought I'd ever actually confess, but..." The older slayer stood up, and then stared at Buffy intently. "I may not know much about you, but I do know when you're lyin' to me. Gotta work on that, B. A slayer can't afford to leave herself open; gives her opponents an advantage." She walked off in the direction of the library, and Buffy followed her quickly. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? And where are you going?" "I thought you said no sharing?" *** Faith didn't make it to the library; she went into the circular buildingnext to it. She slammed the heavy wooden door closed behind her, and went to sitin a chair that reminded of her of the one in every dentist's office on the planet. She closed her eyes, and took calming, deep breaths. She didn't want this. Didn't want to feel the rage building up in her again, didn't want Buffy driving her crazy again. She just wanted to sit in peace and quiet where she wouldn't have to talk or be near anyone. But if she couldn't handle people, how was she going to get back out there and put evil in its place? She couldn't even deal with the darkness within herself. Where it came from, she didn’t know. Fucked up parenting? Traumatizing pre-teen rapes? It wasn't Buffy's fault that was for sure. She had thought it was at one time, but whatever was wrong with her had been wrong for awhile. Buffy just had a knack for aggravating it. She had kept it check because she had never stayed in one place for too long, had never gotten attached to anyone. Then Sunnydale came along. Used to driving people away when she first met them, it shocked the hell out of her that Buffy didn't back down. They started to like one another, and it wasn't because Buffy was trying to get her into bed, that was a change. Somewhere along the line, a connection was made; a deep attachment she couldn't get rid of. Then it was fuck up after fuck up after fuck up. As annoyed as she got with Buffy's "goodie-goodie" attitude, she was drawn to it, just like Buffy was put off by her "wild" attitude, but drawn to it at the same time. They could never find that middle ground, so Faith was pulled in every direction, and it drove her nuts. She felt abandoned, ditched, hung out to dry. She couldn't deal with every emotion coming at her. That's when she crossed the line, and that's when it felt like she had left her body, and watched someone else screw with her life. It all ended on that rooftop. She thought it had, anyway. When she woke up, it felt like who she had been before the Mayor, the girl just flirting withthe bad side, but still a good person when it came down to it; clashed with the murderous bitch. Major identity crisis, and all both halves could agree on was making Buffy pay. She stole a body, got a taste of what being good got her,and when she was forced back to where she belonged, the pieces put themselves together. She became mostly that girl who she had been, but the other girl was still there, flaring up here and there, getting her to give in again. And she became more standoffish. She despised that part of her with a passion; she wanted that part dead. And the only way to do that was for both parts to die, but Angel wouldn't do it. He made her go through the pain, the guilt, the haunting dreams, and it was during all of this that she had come to terms with something she'd been fighting. She loved Buffy Summers. Not only that, she needed to be in her life. Figuring that if she couldn't die, she'd throw herself in jail. Not only would it piss off that dark part of her, but it was also what Buffy wanted. She'd heal up, do whatever was necessary to fix herself, and then go to Buffy and...but she wasn't being given any slack. Then again, why she should she be given anything? She had screwed her badly, and once Buffy's emotions were used against her, she tended to close up. Faith realized now that all she had ever wanted Buffy to say two years ago was, I love you. Though if the blonde had, she would've just blown her off. Her mind was a frigging mess. All she needed was for Buffy to give her a shot, and that'd be enough. Enough for her to squash her darker half once and for all, and she'd do anything to stay on the right path. Now if Buffy could just stop trying to bring it out of her...the door was creaking open. How long had she been lying there? The door shut gently, and she was no longer alone. "Faith?" Buffy was asking gently. "Um...Willow's dating Tara now. It really wasn't that big of a change for us, and it's weird, cause I always thought a change like that would be. They're one of those couples that're so adorableyou wanna, you know, but they're happy. So are Xander and Anya. He's got his own place, steady construction job. Giles owns the magick shop. Anya works for him. Dawn's a pain as always...and the rest is complicated." The brunette smiled, then opened her eyes. "And what's goin' on with you, B?" "I thought you were asleep." "No you didn't." "Riley and I...we broke up." "Yeah?" Faith raised her eyebrows. Buffy nodded. "So if that's what you were trying to do..." She bit her lip. "Forget...it had nothing to do with you." There was an awkward silence for a few moments. "I'm miserable, Faith. Everything that happened with him, it was my fault. I didn't see it until it was way too late." "Miserable cause of guilt of just dragging him along, or miserable causeyou lost a guy ya loved?" Buffy laughed sadly. "I don't know." Her eyes focused on a box shaped thing suspended on the chair, and above Faith's head. "What's that?" Huh. She hadn't noticed it before. Pulling it down, she gasped. Not only because it had tons of buttons and sliders to play with, but because those three dates on the plaque just made sense. "Think we got somethin' here." "Look, a switch." Buffy found it over by the door, and hit it. The lights went out, and she suddenly became mesmerized. "Wow." "Wha...?" Faith got out of the chair and looked up. The room was coveredwith stars. It was a planetarium, and the apparatus showed you constellations onany date at any time. "We're on our way." *** "Wicked! Check out the giant tree!" Faith exclaimed, looking up. "Wonderwhat it does?" The tree she was referring to was behind the log cabin in the woods, andit had its own special platform. They had already spent a night on the island, having hit a few dead ends. "It's probably part of another puzzle." Buffy said. "Another puzzle thatwe can't solve. We raised the gears out of the water so we could get to the clock, but we couldn't figure out what to do next. We got power to the spaceship, but we couldn't get any further cause we're tone deaf." "Yeah, but at least you got to see my pianist skills." She winked. "What? Chopsticks?" Buffy snickered. "Great accomplishment." "Go ahead and snicker. The way I remember it, you could only do the first three notes of 'Three Blind Mice.'" The blonde gasped. "You weren't supposed to hear..." Faith laughed. "Whatever. My point is, we're supposed to be focusing on the sunken ship." "Come on! You gotta love a mystery, B. And this place is full of 'em." "Oh, you bet I do, but let's solve one mystery all the way to end, before we move onto the next one, okay?" "Got an idea?" Buffy shifted her feet. "Can anybody really have an idea? It's not like you can hold one in your hand and say, 'Hey, I have an idea!'" "That's a no, right? Guess Nancy Drew didn't cover stuff like this." "I...wouldn't know. I read...uh...The Babysitter's Club." Faith lost it then. She must've been paralyzed with laughter for nearly ten minutes. "They were cool." She said indignantly. "Remind me to ask you how you define 'cool' sometime." She giggled. "What did you read then? Being that you're such an authority on coolness." "The Hardy Boys. What else?" Faith smiled. Buffy smirked at first, and then it turned into a smile. They continued their explorations. *** (Look at me dreaming of you After two days of some trial and error, some searching, and some very eye-straining reading, they had raised the ship from the water. It turned out that the three constellations, a frog, a leaf, and a snake matched up with three of pillars that lined the path from the library to the big clock. Pushing them had caused the miniature ship that sat in the birdbath between the pillars to rise, and when that did, so did the big one. They were standing on the ship now, and they opened the only door they could find. Inside, a book sat on a chair. Looking at each other uneasily, they weren't sure what to do. Buffy was staring at Faith, not really focusing. She knew she was, and it didn't bother her. The other slayer had looked better.She could tell Faith hadn't been eating much, and she looked tired. Her eyes were hopeful, but sad too. The darkness was nearly gone, but it still flickered,and that's what Buffy was afraid of. (Was I a fool to think? What she could admit to herself, but what she wasn't ready to admit to Faith, was that she saw the change. Now whether that was just good acting on her part, she couldn't be sure, but she wanted to believe that it was genuine. More than anything. Because even as worn as Faith looked, the girl still had that fire in her that she loved. As much as she had wanted to treat her like a demon, the time they were spending together reminded Buffy that Faith was a human being. She wanted to be able to pinpoint the exact moment she ruined things for them, find a spell, go back and fix it, but she couldn't. That whole time was like a blur, and the decisions she made were made during a time when her friends were trying to accept her back, and the one person she loved more than anything in the world had been dumped back on Earth. Her emotions were all over the place, and she certainly hadn't been thinking clearly. When Faith came along, she was unprepared for it. (I've grown tired of love To say she wasn't jealous of Faith would've been a lie. She arrived in town seemingly free of any constraints; notion of duty, emotional baggage...but Buffy soon found out that wasn't true. She had a vampire on her tail and a childhood she was plagued by. But still, Faith was very much a "go her own way" type.It was that jealousy that caused Buffy to keep her at a distance, even when Faith was ready to hear all about her problems. Which could've helped, but she gave her the cold shoulder. Faith felt it before she did. The connection, the attachment. The brunette wanted to take advantage of it, but she had been scared. Then she grew to accept it, and truly like her. Feelings began emerging though, and it was too muchto handle. Somewhere there was a look, a hint of something more, and it was just too much. (Was I a fool to think? Then the spiraling began. So where was that moment? Their first slaying?The alleyway? Surely it was too late at the loft. Or was it? She had only loved two people in her life, and Riley wasn't one of them.How did she know that? Because it didn't feel like her heart got ripped out of her chest when he left. (Was I a fool to think? "B?" Faith finally noticed she was being stared at. "Uh...this has got one of those moving pictures in the back. Don't look like home, though." The blonde blinked. "Well...we have to go through, don't you think? What other choice do we have?" "This place is a whole hell of a lot nicer then what's in this book." "Why don't we sleep on it? It's getting dark, and I think we're both tired." Faith nodded. "Yeah. Good idea." She paused. "But...you seen any beds around here? I'm sick of sleeping on the floor of the library. Books don't make good pillows. At least they give you a bed in prison. Not real comfortable, but it's a bed." "Nope. No beds." Buffy frowned. "I could go for one too. Neck cramps are bad." "A cot then? I'd settle for that." Buffy shook her head. "Man, this place is really starting to suck." The shorter slayer couldn't hold back her laughter, and Faith mock scowled. "And you'd think cause you lived this long you'd get some magical powers or something so you could make one." "I don't think it works that way." Buffy smiled. "Maybe...or maybe you just don't meet the height requirement." "Excuse me?" Hands were put on hips. "Think you can catch me with legs like those?" Faith grinned. "I'll even give you a head start." "Confident are ya?" "Are you?" With a wink, Faith jumped off the ship and onto the dock. Then she started running. (You make a mess of me here I dance a thousand steps for you, was I a fool? *** (Sometimes I can't move my feet it seems
Deciding to sleep on the grass beside the library, Faith found herself lying
awake, and watching Buffy do the sleeping. She was so...Buffy. There was just
something about her. Something wonderful, something amazing, something...how
lucky would she be to have her? They were getting better. There was hope. She reached out to run her fingers along her cheek, and Buffy's forehead creased. "Faith...no! Please...I...no...don't!" Faith got up immediately, cursing. She really was crazy. Her and Buffy? Yeah, that'd happen. Feeling sick, and needing to get away, she ran to the ship, opened up the book, and placed her hand on the picture.
Still asleep, there were tears running down the blonde slayer's face. "I'm sorry." *** The brunette slayer ended up on another ship, separated into two halves by a large stone. It was thundering and pouring, so she went through the first passage she saw to her left. It was dark inside, and it felt like she was going down steps. Just when she thought she couldn't go any further, a door opened automatically, and she walked into a very nicely furnished bedroom. Seeing the big, soft bed, she collapsed onto it, and cried herself to sleep. *** "Faith!" Buffy screamed as her eyes shot open. She looked around. "Faith?" She wasn't...she wasn't here. Oh no. Where would she...? *** She didn't know how long she slept, but she opened her eyes to see a drenched
and shivering Buffy looking at her. "I thought..." The blonde choked. "You thought I found the way out and left you stranded, right?" Faith asked angrily. "That I was just acting and playin' nice." She brushed past her, and ran back to the deck of the ship. It was still raining, and she had nowhere to go. Fuck. She couldn't do this. She couldn't. Getting up shakily on the edge of the boat, she looked down into the violent waters below. "Get down!" "Why? What's the point?" This was it. Everything she had denied was being forced in front of her face. "I thought I lost you again." Buffy said, standing behind her and letting the rain sting her face. "You were right. I was lying to you. I never forgot you. I can't forget you. And I wish I could just hate you and have it be over, butI can't. Even with everything you did, I don't hate you." "Not buyin' it, B." "Everyone else hated you, and I couldn't fight them. No one understood just how close to you I felt, even when I knew practically nothing about you. After awhile, I thought I hated you too. When that happened, it made everything easier, simpler. You became the enemy, and I could be the good slayer and do what I had to do. But you have no idea how much it hurt me to say the things I said, and then to take the knife and...I wanna be able to fix it. To do it over again. "I think about what happened every night. I think about you." Neither of them could tell which were the tears, and which was the rain. "It's -" Before Faith could say anymore, a huge wave crashed over the boat, and knocked her off balance. She fell over the side, but held on with one hand. "Faith!" Buffy rushed over and grabbed her hand. "Give me your other hand!" Faith smiled. "Is this like a scene out of a movie or what?" "No joking! Just give me your hand!" "I can see it. You'd say, 'I'm not gonna lose you again,' and...what would I say? How bout, 'We can't do it over,' then you'd say, 'No, but we can start over,' and then you'd pull me up and we'd declare our undying love for each other. Whataya say, B?" "First I'd say, who the hell writes your dialogue, and second, if you don't give me your damn hand right now..." "All I wanted to do was make this more dramatic, but fine, have it your way." Faith reached her hand up, and Buffy pulled her over just as another wave came across. "Close call, huh?" *** They hurried back into the bedroom, and Faith sat on the bed. "Don't ever scare me like that again." Buffy said, pacing and trying to relax. "Temporary insanity." The blonde glared. "Wrong joke. Ignore it." "Be happy to." "You saved my life." "You didn't think I would?" "Know what scared me the most when I met you?" The other slayer asked her. "I knew that if you asked, I'd tell you everything. My whole freaking life story. And I don't tell that to anybody. But you didn't, and I didn't think you cared." "That was my mistake. I wish -" "Stop." Faith interrupted. "We could go on forever about where we screwed up. You coulda said this to me, I coulda done this instead of that...but we can't change it. You did what you had to do, and I can't blame you for it. Not anymore. And since we can't go and erase the mistakes, for what it's worth,I'm sorry." "Thank you. I probably should've accepted it the first time." "I don't know who that was, who did all that stuff, but she's not here right now. She's a part of me though, and if you can't hate me, I'll do it for ya." Buffy sat next to her. "That's why I don't hate you. Cause I know it wasn't you doing those things. Not the real you. You were lost somewhere, but I couldn't get you back." "I've got some serious issues, don't I?" "Everyone's got issues. They're something I know all about." "I want to do right, B. But I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm not too sure of anything." She sighed deeply. Here it came. "Do you know that I'd do anything you wanted me to? All I want is to be five by five with you. Cause I need ya, and that's not easy for me to say. When we body-shared, even though I knew it before then, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I didn't wanna be you..." "You wanted to be with me." "I had a fucked up road getting to that revelation, but I do. Could be the slayer thing, I dunno, but I love you. As crazy as that sounds -" "Not half as crazy as when Spike said it." "I didn't hear that." "I'm afraid you did. But that's neither here nor there. I want to tell you something." Buffy paused. "You're not the only one with two people working in their head. I've got plain old me, and then I've got this slayer part that wants to keep me from my friends, push them away, and get me killed. I wasn't just singling you out, Faith. The gang has been left in the dust many times, andI hate myself for it. "You can get to me more than they can though, cause you understand me better. We don't know everything about each other, but we understand each other. Because you understood me so well, I worked harder to keep you further away. Yet another Buffy mistake, cause only when you were gone did I realize how much I missed you. You're incredible. Slaying, just hanging out being you...I need you too. And that's where we're the same. We don't like to admit we need people." "Gotta carry all the weight by ourselves." "Yeah, and look how much good it's done us." She smirked. "If you wanna do right, you will, Faith, cause I'll help you. If you'll let me." "What are you saying, B?" "That as crazy as it sounds, I love you, and I could really, really use your help too. Bad things happened, yeah, and we both regret them. I can't just stick a label on label on you and pretend you don't exist like some people would.We have the same unfair destiny, I know how I feel, and I'd rather have you inmy life than out of it." Faith had an almost stupefied grin on her face. "Sounds good to me, but I still think it woulda sounded cooler with me hangin' off the boat." "I'd be mad at you if I wasn't freezing." "I think there's some flannels in those drawers." "You better not be teasing." She walked over to them. "Um, there's something I didn't tell you about home. It kinda has to do with Dawn..." "Go ahead, but I just wanna let you know, since you're stripping, I might not be a very good listener." "Turn around, Faith." "You gotta be kiddin', B." "This is important, and you need to pay attention." Faith had envisioned passionate sex after an admission of love; she felt cheated. *** The slayers awoke to a knocking on the bedroom door. From what Buffy told her last night, it had been rocky in Sunnydale, and the shit was real close to hitting the fan. Some Hell Bitch-God was after her sister, who happened to be a mystical key thing. Buffy would need her by her side, no doubt about it. There was just the small problem of her incarceration. And it really was a small problem. The bigger problem was if she was prepared for society yet. She had Buffy on her side; that was a start. Hell, Buffy was in her arms. "What the -?" Buffy mumbled. "I've brought you dry clothes. Dress quickly. The book will bring you tomy home, and I will explain all that need be explained there." The voice said on the other side of the door. "Weird." Faith commented, as Buffy got up and brought the clothes and book inside. They were more like cloth robes, but they were soft. "If Mr. Mysterious is our ticket outta here..." "Then you go back to prison." "I'm up for parole in two months. Angel got a detective friend of his topush it awhile ago. The court-appointed suit says since I've been good, there's a real chance. They'll probably make me see a shrink. That'll be fun." "I'll be there with you. And I'll even talk to the parole guys, if that'll help." Faith smiled gratefully. "I don't wanna screw up again." "You won't. Neither will I. Cause we'll have each other's backs. You'll get out there, save lives, be the good person I know you are, and keep going down the road to redemption. With the Chosen Two starting off on the right foot, learning from their mistakes, screwing up is impossible." "Where's this coming from, B?" She shrugged. "Getting away from everything helped. There was nothing but us. No vampires, no Hellmouth...it let me think, and it let me see that you weren't what I thought you were. It didn't take long for the wall to break. The last time I really had fun, where I wasn't thinking about anything else, was with you, and what I told you last night has been there for awhile. This is justthe first time nothing's ever held me back from saying it." "Ditto. But I can't make promises. I'm a head case. I'm gonna try my hardest, I swear, but it's not gonna be easy. Hope you know that." "Nothing's ever easy, but I'm used to that. I believe you can do this cause you want to, and I feel lucky that you love me." "Thought that was my line." She tossed Faith the robe with a wink. "Better go see the stranger." "Isn't there a rule against talkin' to strangers?" "Normally. If you can't kick the stranger's ass." *** After putting their hands on the picture at the back of the new book, they found themselves standing in the middle of a large stone chamber. Doorways lined the room, and they were standing on a dirt floor. Directly ahead of them, aman, black-haired and bearded, with glasses, sat at large stone desk, writing. Behind him was a shelf lined with books. He looked up from his work and smiled. "Hello. My name is Atrus." He extended his hand, and they walked closer, taking turns shaking it. "You are in D'Ni." "Nice place." Faith said, trying to look impressed when she really wasn't. "This is but one building. It would be my pleasure to show you the city,but I'm sure you're anxious to return home." "Definitely, but," Buffy said, "where we were...?" "You were on Myst Island. A getaway age of sorts written by my wife Catherine and I. I only became aware of your presence there the other day when I was checking to make sure it was still maintaining its stability." "Age? Stability?" "You then discovered the book to my Stoneship Age, which is where I first spoke to you." "Nice and simple." Faith said. "We're dumb." "Simply, the D'Ni race has the knowledge, ability, and materials to write bridges to other worlds. We call it the Art. That knowledge gets passed on,and taught to anyone willing to spend the time to learn. Some people, foolish people, believe that we create the worlds ourselves. That we're Gods. But that's untrue. The worlds exist, we simply find a way to get to them." "Magick?" Buffy wondered. "In a way." Atrus nodded. "There's special ink and books used specifically for the links to the Ages, which is what we generally call the worlds." He grabbed two books from the pile he had on his desk. "Which reminds me. I've created linking books back to where I estimate that you came from." He opened the two books to their picture windows. One was the interior of the Magic Box, and the other was Faith's prison cell. "How'd you know?" The brunette asked. "I keep records of where I place every Myst book." "You just stick 'em anywhere?" "I like to travel, you see, and I need a way to return. But if I were to create a linking book directly here to D'Ni, the risk would be too great. What if an untrustworthy person were to come here and learn our secrets?" "So you watched us until you thought we were trustworthy?" Buffy asked. "Exactly." Atrus smiled. "And you've proven that to me." "Last question. Why are your books burnt in the library?" Atrus' eyes saddened. "I gave two people my trust, whom I cared a great deal for, without ever really knowing who they were. It's a mistake I haven't allowed myself to make again." "Oh." She always managed to hit people's sore spots. "Thanks for all this. You got a neat world. And we'll be outta your hairin just a sec, but can you give us a minute?" Faith asked. "Whenever you're ready to leave." (When the world ends They walked away a few feet. Their time was coming to an end. For now. "Two months, right?" Buffy asked her quietly. "Two months of my best behavior ever." Faith grinned. "Good. Cause I'll be waiting."
"It's gonna go slow as hell." "Just think happy thoughts." "Like what, B?"
Buffy kissed her fellow slayer, nice and slow, making it last, and then pulled away. "That'll help." "It better." They walked back to Atrus, and squeezed one another's hands. "Same time?" Faith grinned again. "You're both welcome to come back whenever you like." He told them. "I hope you've gotten something out of your experience." "We did." The younger slayer told him. "Thanks." "I'm sure we'll see you again." Buffy said. Then they were gone. *** Faith was standing in the middle of her cell, when two guards came running. One of them gaped. "I'm telling you, she's been gone. She wasn't here. If somebody would've believed me yesterday..." "You need some time off, Hank. Faith loves her cell. She'd never leave it. Right?" He winked at her. "Nope. Not just yet." Faith answered with a grin. One second after Buffy linked to the Magic Box, Atrus linked in after her. Giles was behind the counter, and she looked on with disbelief as the two men shook hands. "Thank you for looking after them, Atrus." Giles said. "It was the least I could do. After all, you and your Council have been very good to D'Ni, and have helped our rebuilding efforts more than I can say. I'm happy to help, Rupert." "I appreciate that." "You were right. They accomplished much. More than I think you anticipated. Even though I do trust your judgement, you did understand my need for caution, I hope?" "Absolutely. I suspect they needed that extra time, anyhow. It runs very deeply with them." "I understand what that's like." He smiled. "Well, I must get back to my writing. I bid you farewell, my friend." "Take care." The Englishman said, getting out the Myst book for him. "It was an pleasure to meet you, Buffy." Atrus said before leaving. The slayer looked at her watcher questioningly. "Ahem?"
"We can start our own game. Where people throw ducks at
balloons and nothing is as it
seems." (Homer J. Simpson) "You think you know? What's to come? What you are? You haven't
even begun."
(Tara and Dracula to Buffy, BTVS) "I'm telling mom you slayed in front of me." (Dawn,
BTVS)
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