FIC: Battling the Green Eyed Monster 1/2

["Selenay" <selenay@xxxxxxxxxx>]

I've got into gear and produced the next part in the Conversations Continued
series. I've given up - that's the name of the series and it's staying that
way. Unless you have a better idea...


Title: Conversations Continued 4: Battling the Green Eyed Monster 1/2
Author: Selenay
E-mail: selenay@xxxxxxxxxx
Summary: Buffy has to battle her inner demons to save Willow...
Rating: PG-13 (Buffy/Willow)
Spoilers: This is set during the time period of 'Out Of My Mind', but as
Riley is gone it's a completely different story. So possible spoilers for
events up to OOMM, but that's it.
Distribution: My site, http://www.selenayhaven.com and 'A Slayer A Hacker.
Anyone else please ask first.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy and her friends. It all belongs to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al. I'm only playing, and sadly make nothing from
this.
Feedback: Gratefully received


Willow woke slowly and stretched before snuggling back under her quilt. She
shut her eyes and slowed her breathing. After a few minutes she rolled over
and sighed. Although it was too early to be awake, her body did not seem to
agree and was firmly telling her that she was awake. She opened one eye and
peeked at the clock. Half-past eight. < Groan. It's Saturday. Who gets up
this early on a Saturday? Sigh. Obviously I'm destined to. >

She gave in to the inevitable and propped her head up on her hand. <
Grumble. This sucks. I want to be asleep! > The soft, rhythmic sound of
breathing drew her attention to the other bed in the room. < I guess she
deserves to sleep in. After all, she was the one out slaying last night
while I did the Bronzing thing with Xander. And she does look pretty cute
there. I don't always realise how much stress she's under - she looks
younger like that. > Buffy's blonde hair framed her face and she looked
almost child-like when her face relaxed in sleep. < And what could be better
for a tired Slayer than waking up to coffee and bagels? >

As soon as the plan formed in her mind she could not rest. Buffy was always
doing little things for her, so it was time she did something in return. As
quietly as she could, Willow slipped out of bed, gathered up some clothes
and went into the bathroom. A few minutes later she emerged carrying her
shoes so that she would not wake up Buffy. Silently, she picked up her bag
and put her hand on the door-handle. A though occurred to her and she
quickly backtracked to write a note which she left on the dresser before
opening the door and slipping out.

When she got into the hallway Willow was concentrating so hard on shutting
the door without waking Buffy that she did not notice the person exiting the
room next door. Sea green eyes watched her wince as the door clicked and
then stoop down to put on her shoes.

Willow was tying her shoelace when she heard something behind her. She
turned but there was no one there.

"You're getting jumpy in your old age," she muttered to herself and set out
for the coffee shop.

***

Willow walked carefully up the stairs carrying the coffees with the bagels
safely in her bag. She could already see Buffy's surprised expression in her
head and she barely managed to stop herself bouncing up the steps and
spilling the cups of coffee. In fact she was so busy imagining Buffy's face
that she did not notice that someone was waiting for her outside her room.

A voice calling her name, familiar and unexpected, was what finally drew her
attention. She looked up and stopped, shocked, as she recognised the girl
standing in front of her. "Tara?"

"Hi," the blonde girl greeted her with a shy wave.

Willow could feel her mouth hanging open but she was powerless to do
anything but stare at her former girlfriend with a sense of shocked
disbelief. < Tara's here? Why is Tara here? I thought . . . I don't know
what I thought . . . Tara's here? What's Buffy going to say? >

"Willow?" Tara asked. "Uh, y-you're going to drop the coffee."

"I am?" Willow said absently, her mind still doing frantic revolutions.

"It's a little precarious," Tara said with a small grin.

"Oh." She managed to slow her thoughts long enough to take a firmer grip on
the tray and hold it straighter. "Thanks."

There was an awkward silence and Tara began to nervously play with the cuff
of her jumper. Nothing in Willow's planning had prepared her for this. She
had no idea what to say or do or even whether she wanted to say anything.
But Tara was blocking her path to the door so she had to either stick this
out or leave and wait outside until Tara had gone.

"So . . ." Willow began, and trailed off.

Tara looked up expectantly.

"So," she began again, "I didn't know you were coming back."

"I didn't have anywhere better to be," Tara said nervously.

"Oh." Willow paused. "How are you?"

"Ok. You?"

Willow shrugged. "Fine, I guess."

"Are you happy?"

She could not help the smile that lit up her face at the thought of Buffy.
"Yeah, I am."

"Good. Then I'm happy for you."

"You are?"

"Willow, all I ever wanted is for you to be happy. If you were going to be
with me I wanted it to be because you loved me more than anything else. And
you didn't. But that's ok because you do love Buffy that way." Tara smiled
sadly. "I could never compete with that and I don't want to. I've seen you a
couple of times since I got back . . . I made the right choice."

"I'm sorry," Willow said, feeling all the guilt she had lived with over the
summer rush back. "I tried but-"

"Don't," Tara cut her off before she could finish the sentence. "You have
something special; don't ruin it because you feel bad for me. I don't."

"You don't?"

The blonde girl shook her head. "If I had, I wouldn't have come back."

"Oh."

There was silence again as Willow tried to find something else to say. "How
long have you been back?"

"A couple of weeks."

"Oh."

"I guess I should have told you sooner. I-if this is going to cause problems
I can move . . ."

"You're living here?"

Tara shrugged and indicated her door. "N-next door."

"You don't have to leave because of us. If it doesn't bother you then it doe
sn't bother us." Inside Willow added, < I hope. Buffy isn't the jealous
type, is she? >

"Ok." Tara smiled, her sea green eyes shining. "Thank you."

Willow tried to smile and found it was actually easier than she thought it
would be. "You're welcome."

"Willow, I know it's probably too soon . . . but . . . you were a good
friend to me before we . . . and I'd like to know . . ." Tara's head was
down but she peaked up hopefully. "Could we still be friends?"

"I . . ."

Tara immediately ducked her head and stared intently at the floor. "I-I-I'm
sorry. It's too soon. I shouldn't have . . . I should go."

She darted to her door and Willow almost reached out towards her, before
remembering the cups of coffee she was carrying. "Tara?"

The blonde witch paused, halfway through her door. "Yes?"

"I'll think about it."

Tara gave her a shy smile before closing the door behind her, leaving a
confused Willow standing in the corridor. Part of her missed the friendship
they had shared before it all got complicated but another part, the part
that loved Buffy so much it hurt, felt guilty. It was not that she was
worried something would happen with Tara because that was the past. Why
would she want something to happen when she had what she had always wanted
already?

But at the same time she knew she had missed Tara. Buffy was her best friend
and partner, but there were some things she just could not share. < Buffy
and I can talk about anything but she can't understand some of the
witch-stuff I need to do. She can't do spells with me and when I get excited
about a new crystal or finding something really cool in an old book she can
be excited but she doesn't *get* it. I love her but I need a friend outside
of her. Is that wrong? Am I being selfish? I shouldn't need anyone outside
of Buffy, but I do. Is there something wrong with me? >

The thoughts were not going anywhere and were just making her more confused.
< Plus, cold coffee is not good. >

Concentrating on that thought made her other worries recede slightly so she
quietly opened her door and slipped through. Her eyes were immediately drawn
to the occupied bed where she could just see blonde hair peaking out above
the quilt. She put the tray down and pulled the bagels out of her bag. Her
first instinct was to go to the bed and wake the Slayer up. < But she's
tired. Maybe I'll let her sleep. >

For a few breaths Willow stood beside the bed watching Buffy sleep, trying
to calm her thoughts. Then the quilt stirred and two blue eyes peaking
through a curtain of blonde hair peered up at her sleepily.

"Hey Will," Buffy said, her voice throaty from sleep. "This is a nice sight
to wake up to."

Involuntarily Willow smiled. "Hey Buff."

"What are you doing up already?" Buffy pushed her hair back and struggled to
sit up. "Is it Saturday or did I miss the weekend?"

"No, it's Saturday," Willow reassured her. "I just couldn't sleep. So I went
out and got breakfast."

Buffy grinned up at her. "Now that sounds promising. Watcha get me?"

Willow got the bag of bagels and the tray of coffee and returned to the bed.
She dropped the bag in Buffy's lap and held out a cup of coffee before
sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Buffy pouted. "That's no fun. Where's my snuggles?"

The redheaded witch grinned. "My, aren't we demanding this morning?"

"You were asleep when I got in last night. I feel the need for extra snuggle
time." She pulled her quilt back and patted the bed invitingly. "Please?"

Willow carefully put her cup down on the small table that separated their
beds before kicking off her shoes and crawling under the quilt. Buffy
immediately put an arm around her waist and drew her closer, and Willow
happily obliged. When they were comfortable she picked up her cup and spent
a few minutes enjoying the sensation of being close to the woman she loved.

"Is everything all right?" Buffy asked eventually, taking a bagel out of the
bag and breaking off a piece.

"I guess."

Buffy chewed for a moment and frowned. "That doesn't sound like a happy
Willow. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong . . . exactly." Willow sighed and put her head on Buffy's
shoulder. "I saw Tara."

"You saw . . . Tara?"

The witch nodded.

"What did she want?" Buffy asked calmly.

"It looks like she's living next door. She didn't know we were living here
until we moved in. I told her she didn't have to leave."

"Oh."

"She wants to be friends."

Willow felt Buffy stiffen next to her but her voice stayed perfectly calm.
"I see. And how do you feel?"

"I don't know."

Buffy turned her head and managed to kiss Willow's forehead. "It's your
decision."

"But I'm confused." Willow did not dare look into Buffy's face.

Although she could feel the tension in her partner's body, Buffy's voice
sounded like she was talking about nothing more important than the weather.
"Will, whatever you decide is ok with me. I love you and I trust you. If you
need Tara's friendship then I'll accept it."

"You will?"

She felt Buffy nod. "I will."

Willow took a deep breath and sat up so that she could kiss Buffy lightly.
"Thank you."

***

A shadow moved down the corridor. It paused at a door marked
'Rosenburg/Summers' and sniffed. Green eyes shone briefly and a snarl could
be heard from the shadow. It sounded inhumanely hungry.

In the dorm room Buffy shivered and Willow pulled her closer.

A student wandered down the corridor, his head buried in a book. The shadowy
creature chuckled, a low, rattling sound, and moved towards the unfortunate
boy. At the last moment he looked up and froze with horror, but by then it
was too late.

***

"Giles? Do you think I'm being paranoid?" Buffy asked.

It was Sunday afternoon and she was sitting at the table in the Magic Box
flipping listlessly through a dusty old book. Giles was behind the counter
checking through the contents of the shelves and making notes as he went.
Buffy assumed it had something to do with stock checking, but if she asked
he would probably make her help so she stayed well away.

"Pardon?"

"About Willow," she elaborated. "Do you think I'm being paranoid about
Willow? Would you be paranoid if your girlfriend wanted to be friends with
her ex?"

"Well, I-"

"Or am I being really selfish? After all, I'm not exactly in a position to
be friends with my exes but does that mean I should stop her?"

"Uh, I-"

"It's just that she and Tara were so close. For some reason I wouldn't feel
so bad if it was Oz. Is that crazy?"

"Buffy, I-"

"You're right. It's crazy. Oz and Tara are totally different. Maybe that's
why I'm going crazy here. Will's so kind and sweet . . . she hates to hurt
people. She'd never lead Tara on."

"I agree-"

"It's just that I'm going crazy, sitting here, wondering what they're doing.
What they're talking about. Whether they're talking about me. God, what if
she's not happy with me? What if that's why she wants to be friends with
Tara? What if she's suddenly realised that it's Tara she loves, not me? Oh
God, what if-"

"Buffy!"

The Slayer suddenly realised that Giles was standing right in front of her,
glaring.

"Yes?" she said meekly.

He sighed and sat down on a chair opposite her. "Willow loves you. Any fool
can see that. Have you considered that maybe she needs Tara for other
reasons? Tara is a witch and Willow is a witch. You're a Slayer. There are
things that she has to do that only another witch would understand. I know
that you come to me with problems that only a Watcher can understand, but do
you see Willow worrying that you'll leave her for me?"

Buffy shook her head.

"Exactly." Giles smiled slightly. "She doesn't love you any less but she
needs someone who understands the things you can't. Does that make any sense
to your overreacting mind?"

The Slayer blushed and pouted, but nodded anyway. "I guess. I just got so .
. . jealous." She winced. "Not pretty."

"No, it isn't. But as long as you recognise it you'll be fine."

"It's that simple?"

"No, but it is a good starting place."

She nodded and looked down at the table as she said, "Thank you. How do you
always manage to be so . . . oh."

Giles, just about to return to his stock counting, sat down again and looked
at her expectantly. "Oh?"

Buffy picked up the newspaper that had caught her eye. "Oh. Student found
dead outside college gym. Rodney Pearce . . . yadda, yadda . . . no wounds .
. . yadda, yadda . . . no apparent cause of death . . . police to
investigate . . . body has been moved to Sunnydale General. Huh."

"Intriguing," Giles agreed.

"Interested in a little midnight breaking and entering? I hear the morgue is
quite the tourist spot."

***

The morgue was dark and silent as the Slayer and her Watcher slipped in.
Buffy turned on her torch and Giles quickly flicked through the papers on a
clipboard near the door until he found what he was looking for. He signalled
to Buffy and walked over to the bank of refrigerated units where the bodies
were kept. Buffy shone her torch on the labels until they found the right
one and then she opened it.

A wave of frigid air washed over them as they slid the pallet with the body
on out of its cubby-hole. Buffy shivered and wrinkled her nose, although the
body only smelled of the chemicals that preserved it.

"Welcome to the glamorous world of vampire Slaying," she whispered.

Giles nodded but concentrated on studying the body. There was silence for a
while as they checked for bite marks, needle marks - anything that would
give them some clue as to what they were up against. But there was not even
a bruise, let alone anything that could have caused the young man to die.

"I'm coming up empty over here," Buffy whispered. "You?"

"Nothing as yet. Except . . ."

"What? Don't keep me in suspense. I intend to finish this looking at dead
bodies as thing as soon as possible."

"Buffy, are there any tattoos on your side of the body?"

She frowned. "Well, there's something on his wrist here. A black band of
some kind. Looks like . . . swirly things."

"Have you checked his ankles yet?"

"Eeww." Buffy check his ankles. "Another tattoo. Is that it?"

Giles nodded and they carefully put the body back as they had found it. They
were closing the refrigerator door when Buffy heard footsteps in the
corridor outside. She stiffened and signalled to Giles to freeze as she
turned off the torch. For a long moment Slayer and Watcher stood motionless,
hardly daring to breath, and then they heard the footsteps slowly walk away
from the door. After a few more nervous heartbeats they both let out a deep
breath and relaxed.

"Let's get out of here," Buffy whispered.

***

Willow was half-dozing when Buffy eventually crept into their dorm room. The
sound of the door closing startled her out of her sleep and she blinked
blearily up at the blond woman.

"Buffy?"

The Slayer jumped and whirled around, stake in hand. When she realised that
it was only Willow she dropped her hand with a sheepish grin. "Hey Will.
Could you not sneak up on me when I've just had a nervous morgue visit?"

"I didn't sneak. It was more of a lying here waiting thing than a sneaking
thing," Willow protested, grinning at Buffy's blushing. "Did you have fun
breaking into the morgue and . . . there is no way that sentence is going to
end in a good place."

Buffy sat on her bed and began pulling her boots off. "It was educational. I
got a whole lesson in goose bumps and terror. Just what a girl needs on a
Sunday night."

"So long as you had fun," Willow said sleepily.

She felt Buffy stand and walk over to her bed but her eyes just would not
stay open long enough to look up. After a moment she felt a soft kiss on her
cheek and then she was asleep again.

***

Buffy picked at the unidentifiable mush on the plate in front of her. The
cafeteria assured her it was beef casserole, but she was not too sure. A
touch on her shoulder and she looked up into Willow's smiling face.

"Hey," Willow greeted her. "Why the glum?"

Buffy crinkled her nose. "I'm trying to decide if this is safe to eat. What
do you think?"

Willow waved her sandwich. "I'm playing it safe. I passed the kitchens on my
way in." She shuddered. "I've smelled better demons."

The Slayer needed no further information and pushed the plate away, picking
up the bag of peanuts she had added to her tray as a last thought. "Thanks.
I think I'll stick to these. They can't have done anything to them, can
they?"

"Well . . ." Willow grinned. "It's your stomach. And your life."

"Thanks sweetie."

"I'm only trying to help." Willow paused a moment. "Did you just call me
sweetie?"

Buffy ran the past two minutes through her head and realised with a start
that she had. "I-I guess so. Unless you don't like it. I can take it back-"

"No," Willow said quickly. "I liked it. It's sort of . . . coupley.
Affectionate." She smiled shyly. "Loving."

The blonde girl smiled at her partner. "I'm glad. Because I do. Love you,
that is."

Buffy suddenly found herself pulled into a tight hug, in the middle of the
crowded cafeteria, and after a moment's surprised hesitation she put her
arms around Willow and held her tightly. < Willow's hugging me in public?
This is a public display of affection? Hmm, I could get to like this. >

The redheaded witch reluctantly pulled and smiled shyly. "I love you too."

For a few minutes they sat in silence, eating and exchanging glances. Buffy
reflected that this was different to anything she had ever felt before. With
both Angel and Riley she had always felt a need to fill the silences with
talk but with Willow she could say everything she wanted to with looks. They
still talked, frequently annoying Giles with their chatter, but they could
also have moments of silence like this where nothing existed outside of
them.

Unfortunately life has a habit of intruding at times like these and Buffy
accidentally looked up at the clock on the wall behind Willow. "Oh, god,
look at the time. I have a class in about . . . five minutes ago."

"It's ok. I'll see you later." Willow paused and then looked up with a
faintly worried expression. "I'm meeting Tara after class. There's this new
spell we wanted to try out. Is that ok?"

Buffy firmly forced the hot spurt of jealousy down. "It's fine. I'll meet
you at the Magic Box later."

Willow nodded.

"We can compare notes - your spells and my training. And maybe get mochas on
the way home."

The redheaded girl's face lit up. "Cool. Mochas always make everything
better."

"Bye . . . sweetie." Buffy leaned down and quickly kissed Willow's cheek
before running for the door.

***

She did not see the shadowy figure lurking around the corner. Nor did Willow
when she left the cafeteria a few minutes later and set out across the
college campus. The shadowy figure's green eyes flashed, deep inside its
concealing hood, and it followed her.

***

*Thwack*

*Thud*

*Swish*

*Thwack*

*Thud*

"That's enough!" Giles shouted quickly, and then more calmly added, "That's
very good."

Buffy twirled her staff and grinned. "Giving in?"

The Watcher stiffly picked his staff up from the ground and rotated his
shoulder. "No. Just, uh, allowing you some time to recuperate."

"Aha. And this recuperation time will last . . ?"

"Probably until next week."

For a few minutes there was silence as the two combatants concentrated on
straightening the training room and putting the weapons away safely. When it
was all done to Giles' satisfaction Buffy got two bottles of water out of
the small fridge they kept for the purpose and threw one to her Watcher
before opening hers.

"You're improving," Giles said, wiping his face on a towel. "I think this
new schedule is working. But you must remember not to drop your guard even
if you seem to have won."

Buffy took a long gulp of water. "Giles, usually when I seem to have won the
bad guy is dust. Kinda hard to organise a comeback from that."

"Nevertheless, you must stay alert. You don't always face foes that turn
into dust; need I remind you of the Kalxa demon last week?" he asked
severely.

"That was a one off . . . I hope. And how was I supposed to know it would
sprout extra heads when I cut off the first one?"

"Which is precisely why you mustn't drop your guard so quickly."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing in the
shop.

"What have I told you about locking up?" Buffy asked, glaring at her
Watcher.

He sighed but said nothing, knowing that this particular argument would
probably never end. Instead he followed the blonde Slayer into the shop and
stopped, surprised, when he saw Tara standing uncertainly near the counter.

"Tara?" Buffy said slowly, unsurprised by the spurt of jealousy she felt on
seeing the blonde witch. "Where's Willow?"

"Y-y-you mean she's n-n-not here?" Tara asked, her face betraying her
anxiousness.

Buffy shook her head. "Not yet. I haven't seen her since lunch."

"Oh." Tara began wringing her hands nervously. "She was supposed to be
meeting me after classes but she didn't show up. That was an hour ago."

A lump of ice-cold fear lodged in Buffy's heart. "She's . . . missing?
Willow's missing?"

"N-n-not necessarily. Maybe she changed her mind and went somewhere else."

Buffy began pacing. "No, she'd have called or left a message. It's not like
her to just not show up."

"That's what I thought."

"Something terrible has happened."

Giles put a hand on Buffy's shoulder and stopped her frantic pacing. "Let's
not jump to conclusions. Willow may have just lost track of time."

"For an hour? Giles, you know Willow. She's never late. She's almost as
obsessive about it as you are!" Buffy felt panic fluttering at the edges of
her mind. "Something must have happened!"

"Buffy, stop panicking."

"But-"

"I said, stop it," Giles ordered. "I know you're worried, but if you panic
it won't solve anything. You need to find out where she was last seen and
when. That will give us something to work from."

"I-I-I'll go talk to her lecturer," Tara said.

Buffy nodded and the blonde witch hurried out. "What can I do?"

Giles pinched his nose wearily. "You can try your rooms, see if she's gone
there for some reason. I'll wait here in case she tries to call."

To be continued...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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