FIC: Prisms Two: Prisms Blue

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Prisms-Blue


I can't quite recall& I this it was Roosevelt who said 'This is a day 
that will live in infamy.' Or something. But he was talking about 
Pearl Harbour not this particular Tuesday. 

Up to a point it was a typical Tusesday. School, homework, a brief 
patrol though a complete lack of spider-sense anywhere convinced me to 
call it in early, and then back to the dorm for a well deserved cup of 
cocoa..or coffee, anything but tea, maybe watch a few movies and then 
hit the sack. 

While most collage students take such activities for granted I 
for one was looking forward to them and practically drooling at the 
prospect. A nice, normal evening for me, The Slayer. Who woulda' 
thunk?

It was after the movies and the cocoa that she came back home. I still 
wasn't feeling particularly tired at the time so I was just leafing 
through a magazine that I had picked up from& somewhere. Looking at 
the various models and their newest outfits, reading the 'love help 
letters' laughing at their problems wishing I had it so tough and she 
just came launching through the door. She'd gone out for some Wiccan 
meeting, I'm still not too clear on the exact goings on therein but 
I'm pretty sure full moons are important for something or other, that 
night being a full moon one, she'd gone out. No..wait I said that 
already didn't I.

I didn't take a look at her when she came, it's not like I was 
all google eyes over her anything&at the time. So I didn't really look 
up when she came in just a quick glance in her direction before 
dipping back to some idiots letter about how his girlfriend didn't 
like to swallow.

"Heya girlfriend." I said. "How was all the bubble, bubble, cauldron 
toil stuff?"
She shook out her red hair, "That's toil, boil, cauldron bubble Buffy. 
And we don't use cauldrons as they're very expensive and somewhat 
tacky."

"So no broomsticks either?" I replied flipping a page.

"No, no broomsticks either." By now she was stripping out of her 
clothing and while I did not obviously want to stare at her I was 
watching out of the corner of my eyes. Willow is& was&is&soothing. She 
always had been, even when scared or hurt or&anything. When I was in 
trouble she was there, and when we talked and I mean when we really 
needed to talk, while it didn't always answer the problems at hand or 
even make any steps in the right direction at times, I always felt 
better for it. 

She carried such possibilites in everything she did. Be it 
appearance, personality or&anything. I loved her for that. I needed 
her for that! It's not like anything in a Slayer's life is incredibly 
stable so I need what I could get and Willow was one of my rocks. 
No&that's not quite it.

It's like she took after her name sake. A willow tree. With long 
drooping branches that would hang down to the ground creating this 
small area of calm. You could gently push aside the leaves, sit on the 
ground and relax in the shade. 

Cool&I really ought to write that down. 

I should have seen it, I really should have but she was being careful. 
Her back was turned to me and she already had her favorite terrycloth 
robe in hand and she slipped it on quickly.

"Gonna take a quick shower Buff, be right back."
"Sure thing Wills." I glanced at her face again. The black rings under 
her eyes were really sticking out, even with the lights on she looked 
really gloomy. I entertained for a minute the possibility that this 
was really her vampric dopplge..dopplgeng&copy. 

"Wow." I said. "You do look exhausted."

Shooting me a quick glance that looked almost panicked she said. 
"Yeah, well..that's me. Exhausted. I mean really exausted. Wiped out, 
drained, exaustion used my face for a boogie board on a gravele 
street."
And she darted out the door.

I arched my left eyebrow and clucked my tounge once or twice. 
"My." I said to the empty room. "That was a tad graphic." And went 
back to reading the facinating letter about a woman who couldn't get 
her man to go down.

"Honey," I said aloud again, "There's a man on the previous 
page who you have just got to talk too."

Willow is one of those &well not quite a neat freak but 
definetly everything has a place in her mind and she goes to worthwile 
effort to make sure those things go back in there alloted spots. I 
eyed her fallen clothing and tried to bite down on the impulse to put 
them away for her.
I was sooo comfortable. Just lying here on the bed legs kicking in the 
air flipping through the pages of my 'reading material' and 
occasionally stopping to take sniff at this latest perfume or cologne 
on the sample pages. Didn't want to get up.

But you know how friendship is, sometimes you just get this 
urge do something nice and it doesn't go away and it doesn't go away 
and so on and so forth until you really have no choice but to do it. 
I stood up on the bed, gave a bounce or two and hopped off, not giving 
a hoot if the thump of my landing bothered the folks living below us. 
They never seemed to care if their stero was too loud so&

Grumbling slightly at how Willow better pay for the bagles 
tommorow I crossed the room and picked up her dress. I think it was 
then, just as I had it in my hands that something began bugging me not 
my spider tingle thingie. Just&an instictual warning began keening 
behind my eyes. Then I used them. 
Holding the dress out at arms length I turned it around slowly getting 
a good look at the material. It was one of Willow's long gowns, a deep 
red in color, that simply hung over her body from the straps on the 
shoulders, not a body hugging bit of clothing but it looked good on 
her. With her short red hair and green eyes it added to the etheral 
quality of her appearance. 

Now it would never do that again. The tears began at the hem a 
long one going all the way to where her thigh would have been. There 
were others, one along the 'V' line that ran along down to where, 
originally, it had stopped just above the swell of her breasts. Now 
the cut ..or tear.. went down all the way to the center of the dress. 
Had Willow been still wearing it and let her hands loose I would have 
been able to see her navel. 

The keening was becoming a full blown wailing and then that 
smell hit me. Right between the eyes 'AWACK!'. It was awful& and I'm 
smelled some really bad things. But this was&worse. 
Alright, it was only cigarrete smoke and beer, and I remembered those 
smells from the few 'parties' I went too. 	
That got my attention right there 'cause I know Willow had been to a 
Wiccan gathering and I had it on pretty good authority that Wiccans 
did not sit down small bars, smokin' Luckies, drinking each other 
under the table and making rude comments about passing men. 

But there was more, something else and I wasn't sure I wanted to know 
what it was. I slowly, I was almost frightened, buried my nose in the 
material and took a tentative sniff. Something stale& 
rotten..something bad. Something really bad.

At this point it was simple arthimatic.
Willow's kinda odd behaivore--Plus--Torn Clothing--Plus--Bad smells&

I'll never forget that moment. I know, cliché as hell but that's the 
way it was. I will never forget it not in a billion years. Every 
nuance of that time is permently on 'Freeze Frame' in mind even to 
this day.

It was like jumping in freezing water and getting kicked in the 
stomach at the same time. You want to throw up but can't move because 
you can't breathe either. Wanting to scramble out of the water but 
paralysed by the screaming of your mind. 

In that split second a ..a&well& a hell of lot of things tore through 
my mind. I am The Slayer and I take that responsibiliy very seriously. 
But I take my friends even more so and I had sworn to myself to 
protect them over and over. Sometimes I slipped up&a few occasions it 
was really close but..but I had always come through in the end. Yes, 
they got hurt but&not like this. Never before like this. 

A great& The numbness was swept away by a deep stabbing feeling in my 
gut&for the first time I think I had a certain affinity for all those 
vamps I'd staked. I felt like someone had staked me. 

FAILURE

I shook my head& "No." I think, looking back on it, that was probably 
the loudest whisper in history.

FAILURE
FAILURE
FAILURE

And then I was running down the halls screaming her name.


I've seen movies, y'know, with women recovering from a rape, and in 
the name of drama or some such their always either curled up on the 
floor sobbing their eyes out or ..or maybe scrubbing away at their 
skin under skalding water until they start bleeding. The mental 
picture of Willow doing either lent me strength enough that, if I had 
been facing him again, I would have twisted the Mayor Demon's head off 
like the cap on a tube of toothpaste. 

I literally tore the shower stall door of it's hinges. She was 
standing with her back to the water, letting it run through her hair, 
rinising out the soap. Almost, but not quite facing me. She opened one 
eye, still keeping her head tilted back.

"Figured it out Buffy? Thought you might."

I could see her&she was naked&right in front of me, naked not just as 
in without clothing but without soul. I& I always thought that ..when 
you're with someone, that you, y'know, love and you lower all your 
defenses and accept that person inside&that's when you're most 
vulnerable..most naked but it's an openess you want, that you crave.

I never thought what it would be like if someone just&forced you open 
like that. 


The bruises were centered around her breasts and pelvis. Big, ugly 
splotches that marked clearly where heavy hands had mauled her and 
strong fingers buried themsevles in her flesh. They must have hurt..in 
this stinging hot water they must have hurt a lot. 

"W..Willow?"

"It's not really such a big deal Buffy, I mean&compared to when that 
bookshelf got dropped on me, that hurt a lot more..really it did.. I 
mean..it did when I woke up..I don't really remember much about the 
bookcase falling and hitting me part, but, y'know that was probably 
'cause it was hitting me at the time, but when I woke up in the 
hospital, hoo-boy, yeah&little red fire trucks racing across my 
vision. Ouch. Big time." She cracked this awful parody of a half 
smile.

I took a slow step forward. 
"Willow?" I said again.

"And it wasn't that scary either. Oh, heck yeah I was scared anybody 
would be& but..it wasn't scary, scary like when Angelus grabbed me. 
Remember that? He came up behind me and grabbed me and was, y'know, 
full vamp mode, teeth, yellow eyes..the full works, and was whispering 
all those terrible things he liked to do to people involving blood and 
screaming..yeah that was really scary."

I took another step forward. She was just facing me now..hands at her 
side, her right hand still holding a bar of soap, and she was slowly 
turning it over and over in her hand making lots of suds that were 
just getting rinsed away and down the drain. 
"Willow." I stepped under the water now she was only a few inches 
away. "Willow, you're babbling." I said very quietly. 

"No, really it wasn't so bad. I mean, those demons you told me about 
when you were working in that café, the ones that took teenagers to 
their dimension and turned em' into slaves? I mean, they made you a 
slave for your entire life and when you were old and no good any more 
they'd bring you back and you'd only have been missing for one day! 
That would have been really bad&I mean..wow..enslaved for a lifetime 
and not being missed..no that's really bad stuff compared to what ..to 
what..to what these..guys&"

And she collapsed, I grabbed her and eased her down to the tiled 
floor. Her babbling had always been a ..defense thing I guess but it 
couldn't defend her again this&I couldn't defend her from this and it 
was back.

FAILURE

She was crying&sobbing&screaming&she grabbed me, grabbed me and pulled 
me in and I held her, cradled her in my arms while she just curled up 
tighter and tighter. I held her and rocked back and forth. Just..being 
there..because I couldn't be anywhere else and I hadn't when she&

FAILURE

I & I started crying myself. For her&for me&for everything. 

"I'll find them Willow. I'll find them I promise and I'll kill them. 
They'll die..you'll be okay, I'll be here for you. We'll find them 
together and you can watch what I do to them..you can offer me 
suggestions."

She didn't say anything, just kept crying. I couldn't see the tears, I 
couldn't see anything. I was soaked, I was crying I was tired&.the 
Cocoa which had tasted so warm and sweet going down now sat inside me 
like lead. 

"Good..day." Willow croaked.
"What?"
"It was &" She hiccuped. "..it was supposed to be..such a good day.." 
and she broke off into more jagged sobs. 

"Yeah&" I whispered more to myself than her. "It was."
"N-no.." She gasped out. She grabbed my hand tight. It was like 
everything just stopped right then. 
She was looking at me, looking into me! She wasn't the only naked one 
at that split second.

"A really good day." She squeaked. "I was&I was going& The ritual. It 
showed me, they showed..my sisters&they showed me..gave me.."

Sisters? I was confused. The Wiccans..oh..right. 

"What Willow..what did they share with you?"

"The Truth." She finally sighed. 
"The Truth?"
"Uh-huh." She nodded. "And ..they gave me the strength to 
..say it. Say it to who it belonged too.
"Shhh& That's not imporant now, now&now ..now I take care of 
you..we.. we find those .."
	
"No!" She insisted tightening her grip on my hand. "It is imporant..it 
was imporant, it was the most important thing in the world. My sisters 
showed me how to say it, what to say& showed me that everything I was 
scared of didn't matter and that..and that..no matter what it would be 
better. That everything would be better."
Her composure cracked again and she started crying again.

"Ooohh God Buffy& they killed it&they killed me..oh God oh God 
oh God&." She buried her face in my shoulder and I couldn't do a damn 
thing. Not one&damn&thing. 

I have never hated anyone like I did at that moment. The 
Master? Angelus? The Mayor? Oh, I had hated them..I had to hate them 
because of what they were. Evil. Evil in nature, by their very design 
they were this way. And that, at the very least, gave them something 
of an excuse. 

But this? This was done by people. People I was supposed to 
protect but they had chosen this way. They had actually had a choice 
and had made it. It wasn't built in, it wasn't part of their 'role' in 
the Universe. They were no more hell born or hell spawned then the 
girl in my arms. There was nothing 'Hellmouthy' about this whatsoever 
and yet they had done something evil. And for that, for that I figured 
all these neat Slayer powers would work wonderully well.  

"No&no.." I held her tight trying to ignore the swell of hate 
in my gut. "You're not dead, they didn't kill you..you have your 
truth..always. I won't let them take it away. You'll be fine..I swear 
..and..and.." It was getting hard to talk I was crying so hard. 

"And when you're ready you can give that Truth to 
..to..whoever and everything will be better."
I didn't know if I was lying or not. I mean, I felt like it was true, 
I believed it. I had to believe it because the idea of losing who and 
what my Willow was&was& 

I could have killed Angel a hundred hundred times with a smile 
on my face rather than face that. 

"Not that simple." Willow blurted. "It's not.. you.. you don't 
understand and it's not that ..not that..easy..and&"

"Yes it is!" I sat up and grabbed her face between my hands. She was 
kneeling now on the tiles and I was kneeling in front of her, towering 
over her eye to eye. The hot water still pouring down on us. Anyone 
could have walked in at that second and gotten a real eyeful but I 
would have laid them out on the spot. 
"Look at me." I insisted. 
"Look at me!" I gave her a eensy tiny shake till her eyes locked with 
mine. 
"It is that easy." I hissed out between clenched teeth. "It is that 
easy and I'll tango with Spike before I let you go. You're alive, 
hurting but alive and I will be with you until the hurting stops. I 
will never leave you, you stupid wiccan, I will never, ever leave 
you!" I was really crying now, getting the words out between sobs. 
"You mean too much to me Willow and I will never let you go."

Her eyes were really wide and almost..almost like they used to be 
though how I could have realised the diffrence in such a short time 
I'll never know. 

"Promise?" 
I nodded. "Promise."

She paused and I let her face go and sat back down. She pushed her 
body against mine seeking another hug which I gave her, wrapping my 
arms around her. We sat like that for a while, in the bathroom, under 
the hot water. Not saying much, not saying anything at all actually; 
for awhile. 

"It hurts Buffy."
I pulled her closer. 
"I know Willow."