FIC: Prison Talk 7/?

["Selenay" <selenay@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Prison Talk 7/?
Author: Selenay
E-mail: selenay@xxxxxxxxxx
Summary: After 'Into The Woods' Buffy needs to talk . . .
Spoilers: Anything up to 'Into The Woods' is fair game.
Distribution: My site, http://www.selenayhaven.com and 'Exquisite
Coalescence'. Anyone else please ask first.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy and her friends. It all belongs to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al. I'm only playing, and sadly make nothing from
this.
Feedback: Gratefully received


Faith followed the guard down the hallway. Behind her the gates into the
main prisoners' area slammed shut and buzzed as they locked. Prison was full
of locks, she reflected, and half the time it seemed that they were there to
protect the guards more than to keep the prisoners in. The guards would
probably have gone crazy if they had any idea of how easily she could break
out if she wanted to.

They stopped at a door and the guard gestured to it with a grunt. Faith
grinned and saluted perkily, just for the pleasure of annoying him, before
going into the room and closing the door.

The room was bare apart from a payphone, without even a chair to sit on, but
then most prisoners did not have heart-to-hearts on the telephone. They
saved those for visiting times but Buffy had never even mentioned the
possibility of visiting and Faith was reluctant to send a visiting order in
case the blonde Slayer rejected it. It felt pretty silly to be so afraid of
rejection but even their weekly phone calls were more than she had ever
expected to have six months ago.

She picked up the telephone, put in her card and dialled the familiar
number. The line picked up almost before it rang and Faith knew that Buffy
had been sitting next to it waiting for her.

"B?" The greeting was becoming a ritual.

There was a shuddering breath at the other end and then Buffy's voice said
weakly, "Faith?"

"The one and only," she quipped. "You paged me?"

Calling into the prison was a chancy business; some of the less pleasant
officers did not pass on messages no matter how urgent. Faith knew that
whatever was wrong must be urgent for Buffy take the risk rather than
waiting two days for the weekly call.

"Yeah," Buffy said slowly. "I needed someone to talk to."

"I'm here."

"I know." Buffy took another deep, shaky breath. "Thank you."

"B, you don't need to thank me. It's hardly a chore to talk to you, or
listen if that's what you need."

For a moment there was silence before Buffy began speaking.

"Riley. He left. He's left me." Buffy's voice wobbled slightly. "I don't
know what to do. Riley left town last night and it's all my fault."

"How can you know that?"

"He told me."

Faith cursed under her breath. "Then he's a bastard."

"No, he's not. I think he might be right."

"What?"

"He said that I'm not there. I don't let him in when things happen to me and
I keep secrets. I guess he needs me to need him but I've been shutting him
out and he couldn't take it anymore."

"He left because you don't need him?" Faith asked, incredulously. "What a
jerk!"

"He kinda had a point. I mean, Spike knew about Mom before he did. I didn't
even think to tell him. And he knows I have a big secret but I can't tell
him about Dawn. I've told you everything that's happening. What does that
say about me? About my priorities? About my relationship?"

"B, it says that you're strong," Faith said sternly.

"Maybe I'm too strong though."

"No, don't ever think that. You're the Slayer and if you ran crying to him
every time you chipped a nail you wouldn't be doing your job." Faith paused.
"Did you love him?"

"How can you ask that?" Buffy's voice was passing from tearful into anger
now.

"It's a fair question."

"Of course I loved him!"

"But not as much as he loves you."

There was a long pause and for a moment Faith worried that Buffy would hang
up. Talking like this had been a foreign concept to the dark-haired girl
until she decided to make amends with Buffy and she was still not sure of
the rules. Maybe there were no rules for this kind of thing. She would have
to ask Angel . . . if he ever got around to visiting again.

"Maybe," Buffy finally whispered. "I love him but . . . I don't need him to
live. I can get along without him. Maybe he needed to know I couldn't live
without him but that just wasn't how I felt. Is that so terrible?"

"No, it's not."

"Then why did he leave?"

Faith nearly began one of her rants about men's failings, before rethinking
and deciding that was not what Buffy needed to hear right now. "B, Riley
needed something that you couldn't give him. Not because you weren't good
enough, but because you guys just weren't clicking together. You were going
off in different directions. He's a bastard for his timing and the way he
did it, but maybe in the long run this is better."

"How? I don't understand how him leaving me can be better."

"B, have you told him any of what you've told me?" Faith asked. "Not just
tonight, but about Dawn, your Mom, Angel . . . any of it?"

The silence on the other end of the telephone simply confirmed her
assumption.

"I thought so. Shouldn't that be saying something to you? Such as, if I can'
t tell him that kind of stuff why am I with him?"

"Maybe," Buffy said reluctantly. "I did decide to make the effort . . . I
ran as fast as I could but he had already gone. I wasn't fast enough."

"B, I know you. If you had to think that long before deciding to make the
effort - and that phrase alone makes me shudder - then maybe it was because
you didn't want to make the effort."

"Oh."

"I'm not saying that this was your fault. Or that you won't one day find
someone you have to make an effort to be with. Hell, I hope you do. But it
won't be something you have to chose to do; it'll be something that burns so
deeply inside of you that you can't do anything else." Faith rolled her
eyes, wincing at the unexpected note of preaching in her voice. "Listen to
me - I sound like Oprah god-dammed Winfrey."

Buffy chuckled weakly. "You're just missing the TV audience."

"Oh, I got an audience. The guard out there is very interested."

"I'll bet," the blonde Slayer snorted. "Listen, I know this isn't your
thing."

"Yeah, well . . . a friend's gotta do what a friend's gotta do."

"You're my friend?" Buffy's voice held a tiny bit of hope and happiness,
even through her tears.

Even though she knew the gesture would not be seen down the telephone Faith
shrugged and tried to look unconcerned. "Yeah, I'd like to be. I think I'm
your friend - even if you don't want to be mine."

"I think . . . I think right now I could use some friends."

"Yeah, I think you could."

There was silence as both girls thought deeply for a while.

"You know, if I'd been able to talk to Riley like this maybe it would have
worked," Buffy said eventually.

"But you couldn't."

"No. There was always this part of me I didn't want him to see."

"B, if that's how you felt then maybe he did the right thing. Put him down
as a fun fling while it lasted but not your life-defining love. Then try to
move past it."

"And onto someone else? Isn't that a little . . ."

"Too much like me?" Faith grunted sourly. "Nah. I'd never have stuck it with
Riley for that long. Fuck 'em and leave 'em, that's me. You stick around for
the long term. But just 'cause you do, that doesn't mean you can't end a
relationship that ain't right. You just have to know when to stick and when
to go."

"Not one of my talents," Buffy muttered, and Faith knew that she was
thinking of Angel as well as Riley.

"Maybe not, but isn't that what friends are for? To make you see things that
you can't?"

"I guess."

"You know it."

"Faith, can you promise something?"

"Depends what it is."

Buffy paused, and Faith could imagine the thoughtful look on the blonde girl
's face before she answered. "Could you promise to always make me see things
that I can't? Even if they're things I don't want to see. I know the guys
here love me but they can't seem to . . ."

"Tell you to get your head out of your ass until it's too late?"

"There's probably a nicer way to put that."

"Probably. But I'm not nice."

There was an exasperated sigh down the telephone line. "We'll argue about
that another time."

"Jeez, B, are you gonna try to make me into a cute fuzzy wuzzy teddy bear
now?" Faith snorted. "I thought you knew me."

"I do know you. Which is why I need you to promise me that one thing."

Rolling her eyes, Faith sighed. "B, of course I'll do it. I promise to make
you see the things you don't want to. I promise to always be the first to
tell you when you need to take your head out of your ass or lighten up. I
promise never to let you get away with anything you shouldn't. So long as
you promise to do the same thing for me."

"It's a deal."

"Good." Faith paused uncertainly. "B?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you'll be ok?"

"Sure. I'm better already."

"Why do I not believe you?" Faith muttered beneath her breath.

Buffy evidently did not hear her comment, either that or she simply ignored
it. "And you? How are you? God, I didn't even ask. How selfish is that?"

"Don't sweat it. You know me - I'm five by five. You're the one with the
boyfriend problems - I promise to tell you all about my life next time.
Should take about thirty seconds."

"Thanks."

"Listen, that guard is giving me the evil eye so I'd better go. I'll call
you in a couple of days."

"You don't have to-"

"I'll call. You take care. Get that witch of yours to do the girly video
night or something. Chill."

"Ok."

"Great."

Before she could embarrass herself any further with her rapid decent into
mushdom Faith put the telephone down. It had been a weird conversation. Who
would have thought, six months ago, that she would be the one counselling
Buffy after a break-up? She shook her head. The odds against it were just
too high. Yet here she was, in prison, and on the verge of something that
felt strange, wonderful and completely terrifying. She actually seemed to be
making a real, genuine friend.

To be continued...
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