Rant: Prisms

[Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx]

Greetings,
I guess writing White wasn't enough closure..so I'm writing this too.
Maybe to put some of my own thoughts in perspective ..maybe answer a
few questions but I assure you, not to gloat.

Well..I guess the easist place to start is 'Why'.
And even that's a hard one to answer. I mean, Willow is my absolute,
drop dead, hands down, we will accept no substitute, character. So why
did I do this? Why put someone I 'care' so much about through such a
hell? I'm afraid the answer 'Why not' does not even come close.
> > From a practical point of view Willow is the perfect choice in
victims. Lovely, not too physically dominating and at this point in
the story line not very magical either. Also, again based on pure
practicality is that it could only happen to her.
Buffy? Fat chance, her Slayer-Stuff would make such a thing darn near
impossible thus no fic. If it somehow occured she'd be damned in hell
before she let anyone know about it and once again..no fic. Well..at
least in my opinion. It could be written, hell it could be written
better than Prisms(Lots could be..and probably has.) but I couldn't
write it. No other female character, again in my opinion, is not
popular enough to have such an effect on the cast. Or a fan.
With Willow it's going to be intresting!

God, there's a terrible thought, the rape of a beloved person being
intresting. The word 'Vouyer'(Or however you spell it.) just got real
ugly in my mind.

The final nail in the head of 'Why' is that I hadn't seen it been done
before. Not rape per se, but any dark fic that wasn't depending on
some supernatural form of darkness. I'm not saying they don't exist,
I'm saying I just havn't seen them. The darkness always came from the
hellmouth or other 'Bastion of Evil'.
This leads to the question of 'Why Rape' though?
In my mind that is about as evil a crime you can get. As Spike said so
well..or did I say that through Spike? Eh..details..details..
AS SPIKE SAID.. they take you, use you and then just drop you on the
pavement leaving you alive! No I've never been raped(Fat chance, I'm a
GUY!) and I know no one who has been raped. But that doesn't make me
angry at the concept of it.
I love my fiancee very much and once I had a nightmare where she was
raped. When I found the rapist, in my dream, I spent three hours
breaking every joint in his body. Then I got mean.
But that's beside the point..I think.
The point is the elements work as such and therefore is the basis of a
good story. Note the word..Basis.
This takes us to...'How'.
Honestly I have no idea. It just happened. I havn't seen the actual
show in years since moving to Eastern Europe from the East Coast. I
just took what I knew, what I had read and what I guessed and this is
what I got. Sounds simple..but it wasn't. I mean it didn't just flow
like a river.. A good long time was spent staring at screen. Music
helped though. Music helped a LOT. 'Specially 'Lucky Ones' by Biff
Naked for the emotional parts and 'God is a Man' by Face to Face with
a little Stuck Mojo on the side for the angry parts.
Listened to the music, took the..snarl in my guts ..sorta fed it
through a ..mold I guess..a guess at the characters reactions-Mold and
used that feeling and my touch with vernacular to write the stories.
And the memories of many, many shows, movies, books, and reports
detailing rape recovery for women which I somehow stumbled across in
my life.
Funny how all that stuff comes back.
There was a price. There's always a price..yeah I know this sounds
kinda spooky but it's the truth. I've went and gone so far into there
minds at this point I'm not 100% sure I'm all back. I LIKE darkness, I
spend a great amount of time trying to understand it(An impossible
tast but enlightening just the same.) but in this case..IN THIS
CASE..I think I'll be carrying an eensy, teensy piece of pain for a
little while at least.
I'm not a total foob begging Willow for forgivenss or anything like
that, though I do prefer to think of her as being 'alive' somewhere
not just the creation of text.
I think I've wandered off topic.
Back to action.
To SUM up..regardless of what you've heard, or think you've read this
fic was a BLAST to write. I have never been so inspired save once
other and that production was no where near as in depth.(A Ranma 1/2
Fanfiction called 'Brutal Truth')
This story has consumed my mind and heart for two weeks now.
I don't regret it, I will not regret and I hope no one here does
either. It's been a long ride..
And I'm happy to say it's probably not over. I have a few ideas..a few
thoughts..a few hopes. They don't burn so brightly as Prisms did but
that's probably cause I'm tired. I don't know if it will be the same
as Prisms, though I do know it will pick up where Prisms left off.
I have a name and I'd like to share it with you.
Forge
There ya go. That's it. All wrapped up.
I think I got all the loose ends.
I'd like to thank everyone who was kind enough to respond to my work
and anyone who read it at all. Any questions, comments, CRITISIMS
especially would me more than welcome. I've tried to reiterate the
point that I'm not a fool and I don't think for a heartbeat that
Prisms could not be improved.
In the interim..in the interim..thank you very much for accepting me
and my work considering less than half a month ago you all didn't know
me from Adam(ooo bad analogy.)
If ya'll excuse me now, I'm gonna go stand in the sun for a few
hours..just to remind myself.
I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet