Prison Talk 8/?

["Selenay" <selenay@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Prison Talk 8/?
Author: Selenay
E-mail: selenay@xxxxxxxxxx
Summary: Our girls meet, face-to-face, for the first time since 'Sanctuary'.
This is going to be interesting . . .
Spoilers: Anything up to 'Blood Ties' is fair game.
Distribution: My site, http://www.selenayhaven.com and 'Exquisite
Coalescence'. Anyone else please ask first.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy and her friends. It all belongs to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al. I'm only playing, and sadly make nothing from
this.
Feedback: Gratefully received


Buffy waited. The room was stuffy and filled with the quiet murmur of people
talking but trying not to be overheard. She wrinkled her nose at the smell:
unwashed bodies, boiled cabbage and depression. For the first time she had a
comprehension of how terrible prison truly was. How did Faith stand this?

The door behind the glass dividers opened and Buffy had her first look at
Faith for nearly a year. The other Slayer was thinner than she remembered
and the blue prison garb hung loosely on her. Faith's hair was longer and
slightly wavy, her face was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes.
But as soon as her eyes settled on Buffy, she smiled and that smile lit up
her face in a way Buffy had never seen. With one change of expression Faith
transformed from a pretty but worn girl into a beautiful woman.

Buffy's eyes stayed locked to Faith's as the dark haired girl made her way
to her seat and sat down. She was not aware that she was smiling faintly
herself, against all the odds.

Faith picked up her black handset with slightly trembling hands. "Hey. Wasn'
t sure you'd show."

"I nearly didn't. There's some family stuff going on so . . ." Buffy
shrugged. "How are you?"

"You know me. I'm getting by."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? That's why you look like you're starving
yourself and you haven't slept in three days."

"Prison isn't exactly a holiday camp, B. I know I look like hell, but I'm
not complaining."

"I didn't say you look like hell."

"You thought it, though."

"Actually I thought you look like someone who needs a few good meals . . .
someone to take care of you for a while."

Faith snorted and rolled her eyes. "Good one, B. I'm not exactly the
coddling type so don't go getting any ideas."

"I wasn't!" Buffy protested.

"Uh-huh," Faith said disbelievingly. "I'll believe you. Millions wouldn't."

Buffy poked her tongue out, and then blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get
on your case. This isn't how I pictured this."

"How did you picture it? Throw cushions and pretty flowers on the tables?
California State isn't really into that sort of thing."

"I don't know how I pictured it. I guess I thought we'd be much more
serious, no kidding around, and discuss important world issues."

"Jeez, you really do have a funny way of looking at me." Faith grinned
through the glass. "You think I'd actually know anything about important
world issues? B, we're friends. As friends, that means we joke around
sometimes and don't have to be all serious. I'm not really a world-issues
kinda girl."

Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, I know. I just don't really know how I'm meant to
behave here. What is the accepted etiquette for prison visits?"

"I don't know. I don't get many."

"Doesn't Angel . . ?"

"Nah, he's on some big crusade right now. The others don't trust me, and
they really don't like me. Not that I blame them - I did some crappy things
to them."

"But you've changed."

"I guess I have." Faith paused thoughtfully. "I didn't think I could. But .
. . I want to make a difference now. I'm fed-up of being in here, not able
to do anything. I want to be out there doing good things. You showed me that
I could so now I just wanna live up to that."

"I showed you?"

Faith's smile was slightly lop-sided. "In a way. When I had your body . . .
I saved this kid from a vampire. And then I saved all those folks in that
church. And just for a moment it felt really, really good. And I wondered if
that's how you feel every day and I got kinda jealous. I wanted to feel
that. Maybe that's why I'm here now instead of out there, hurting people."

"Faith, deep down you're a good person. You just got lost for a while."

"You believe that?"

Buffy shook her head. "I know that."

For a moment Faith was silent, and stared down at her hands where she was
picking at a thread on the cuff of her shirt. Buffy could see thoughts
running across her face but gave her a moment just to work through them.

"B, you always see things in me that I can't," the dark haired girl said
eventually. "I think I like that. I used to get scared of that and run away,
but I think I'm finally ready for it."

Buffy smiled at her. "That's what being friends is about. We can see things
in each other that we're afraid of, or don't want to face, and because we're
friends we can tell each other. Have you ever wondered what would have
happened if we'd trusted each other before?"

"You mean with the Mayor?"

Buffy nodded.

"Hell, yeah. All the time." Faith shrugged. "And I think it might have been
really, really different. But at the time I just saw you trying to sell me
up the river, and you were running scared. I was a prize idiot."

"I was not exactly the mistress of sensitivity," Buffy admitted. "We both
handled it badly."

Faith looked up, her blue eyes intense. "I hated myself for doing all of
that. I really did. But I couldn't stop myself either. Don't blame
yourself - I was so fucked up then that I didn't know what I was doing half
the time. And the rest of the time I was doing stuff to make the pain go
away. You couldn't have stopped me."

"I could have tried harder." Buffy suddenly realised that there were tears
in her eyes, but she had no idea why. "I should have tried harder. If I had
tried to reach you . . . talked to you . . . anything."

"B, I wasn't listening. You couldn't have said anything that would have made
any difference."

Buffy took a deep, shuddering breath. "Yeah, I know that. In my head, I know
that. But in here?" She put her hand over her heart. "I can't accept that."

Faith nodded, and then looked deeper into Buffy's eyes. The blonde girl
tried to break the contact but her eyes were captivated by Faith's, and she
could not tear away.

"This isn't just about the past, is it?" Faith asked slowly. "Something's
going on in there. Something to do with now. Is it . . . is something going
on with Dawn?"

Buffy grimaced, but nodded. "Damn, you're getting good at that."

"Like you said, friends do this stuff. So, spill."

And in a cold, prison visiting room Buffy was finally able to pour out her
heart and talk to someone about all the problems that had been building up.
It was not the ideal setting, and six months ago Faith would have been the
last person she talked to like this, but it felt good and right. And she
finally felt whole.

Continued...
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