|
Title:
Straight Through the Heart [5/?]
Author: Dan Spector Pairings: B/W, F/C Rating: R (this chapter PG-13f/f stuff still percolating, angst) Summary: After "Lovers Walk" one slayer comforts a heartbroken Willow, while the other heals an injured Cordeliasound familiar? This Chapter: Buffy talks about Angel Angst Spoilers: Everything through "Lovers Walk". Key eps this time are "Welcome to the Hellmouth", "Angel", "What's My Line, Parts 1 & 2", "Surprise", "Innocence", and "Becoming, Part 1". (What, no "Passion" reference? Don't worry, we get that back next chapter) Disclaimer: It's all Joss Whedon's fault! If he hadn't created this show and these characters that he (and others) own, I wouldn't be writing, and writing, and& Archiving: Still just Misty. Anyody wants to join in, feel free, just tell me. Feedback: Oh, come on, you know I'm crazed for it. Well, not flames, but otherwise to danspector@xxxxxxxxx or on the lists. Apology/Dedication: This dang B/W chat keeps getting longer and longer. First it was Chapter 2, then I broke that down into Chapters 2-6, now Chapter 5 is so long it'll be 5-7 by itself (which is why I had to change the Chapter Title from "Seven Little Words", which will be Chapter 7 now). So this one goes out to all the exceedingly patient folks who are waiting for Faith and Cordy to reappear, which now won't be until Chapter 10, at least (but they are both mentioned in this chapter, anyway). I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm glad Faith isn't here or she'd whup my ass&
Chapter 5: Curses for Dummies "Okay," Buffy said, "so, how do we begin?" "Talk," Willow said. "That's all you have to do." "Talk it is." Buffy nodded and began to pace. "I can talk; I do it every day. I talk to my mom, I talk to you, I talk to Giles" The blonde slayer stopped, suddenly. "Or I could smash!" Buffy said, brightening. "Smashing is good; I know how to smash. Do you have something I could smash?" Buffy asked, her eyes darting around the room. "Uh-huh," Willow answered as Buffy looked at her, her eyes almost begging for a way out. "I'm seeing a big ol' defense mechanism that I wish somebody would smash pretty soon." "Busted, huh?" Buffy asked, sheepishly. "And how," Willow confirmed. "You are simply going to have to talk." She put on Resolve Face, not to impress Buffy, but to reassure her, and pointed at it. "See?" "All right, I yield. You've got me, I'm helpless before your power." Buffy stiffened despite her casual manner, realizing how what she had just said sounded. I don't want to think about that, she reasoned, and I definitely can't talk about it with Willow. She tried to focus on what the redhead wanted her to do. "I want to talk, Will, I just can't. I mean I suppose I can, but II'm afraid to." "Don't be afraid, Buffy," Willow said, her own voice aching, "you can tell me anything; I'll understand. I mean, I know I'm not a slayer, but I'll try, and nobody else is a slayer, either"she caught herself and quickly corrected, "except for Faith, of course&I sometimes kind of forget about Faith&di&did you, uh," Willow forced the words out, somehow, "did you want to talk to, uh, Faith?" Oh, God, no, Buffy thought, even if I wanted to, I'd never hurt you like that. She quickly crossed to the bed, sat, and clasped the hacker's hands in her own. "I don't need Faith, Will," she reassured, "I don't need her at all. I'm good with the slayer stuff, I know which end of the stake goes into the vampirethe pointy end, right?" Buffy tried to do a take for comic effect, but Willow didn't smile, so Buffy continued. "It's the other stuff, the Buffy stuff that's the problem. Because it's Buffy who has the emotions and I try not to give in to them, but I do, and every time I end up hurting people, and I can't do that any more." And she wound down, thoroughly morose. Willow freed a hand from the slayer's slackened grasp and gently pushed a lock of blonde hair off of Buffy's forehead. "You won't hurt me, Buffy," she said, "I'll always love you, no matter what. You know that, right?" Buffy nodded her head, her voice choking in her throat, knowing that Willow did love her, and certain that she could hurt the redhead horribly. But she wasn't going to do that, she wasn't going to lose control. "Would it be easier if I started it?" Willow asked, gliding the backs of her fingers down past Buffy's temple, toward the jaw. She can't be meaning what I'm thinking, can she, Buffy wondered. No, of course not, that's the sort of thing I have to stop thinking about, she just means the talking, that's all. Buffy nodded her head again, still mute. "Okay," Willow said, taking her hand away. "Angel. From the top. Nice and easy." "What's to say?" Buffy sighed, depressed by the subject and saddened that It made her depressed. "Really hot guy. Comes out of nowhere and helps me. Sweet, too. I think I'm falling in love. So, naturally, he's a vampire." Buffy raised her gaze from her lap and stared off, looking at nothing. Then she steadied herself and turned and looked at Willow. "Major freakage, followed eventually by over-getting. Stops and starts, lots of stops. He took me ice-skating." Her eyes glowed at the memory. "Where, naturally, we got attacked by some big fat-ass demon assassin." The glow stopped. "At least you didn't get The Man of a Thousand Worms," Willow chimed in. "Like Xander and, uh, Cordelia did." She trailed off, remembering that Xander had told her that the attack had led to his and Cordy's first kiss, and remembering what had happened afterwards and her part in it. She stopped herself, though, she didn't have time for thatBuffy needed her. "Yeah, the Order of Maracas, or whatever," Buffy said. Willow let the error go by. "And, after more wacky fun, it's my birthday, we think Angel might have to go to China or someplace, there's this stupid tingle-making Judge getting juiced up and ready to kill everybodyand I look in Angel's eyes and I know, that if I just hold on to him, it will all go away, everything will be perfect. So I do, and we make love, and it is perfectliterally. 'One moment of true happiness'. The best part of my life. And 37 people died." She paused. "Nice trade," she said, bitterly. "Thirty-seven?" Willow said. Buffy nodded. "Giles and I did a count when I came back; I had to know. That's our best guess. Kendra's included, even though Dru actually killed her, because it was all Angel's plan." "Well, it was months, I mean it's not that bad, only a couple a week&no, sorry, I know that's too many," she said, squeezing Buffy's hand. "But you didn't know. You really didn't know." "I should have," came the hollow reply. "How?" "Slayer. Job." Buffy said. "But you almost never know in advance. You fight evil when it appears, not before it appears, because there's nothing appeared then. What could you have done?" "Jenny" Buffy said quietly. "Our local curse monitor, I saw her every day. All I had to do was ask." "She wouldn't have told you anyway. And even she didn't know what going to happen or what would trigger it; they just told her to keep him away from you. You know, not very organized, those gypsies. I suppose that's the moving around and all, they probably left the copy of Curses for Dummies behind or something." "But I could have made her talk" "Uh-huh,¨ said Willow, growing a little tired of this, "and why should you be thinking that of everybody in Sunnydale, Ms. Calendar is hiding a whole big curse secret, when you don't even know there's a secret being hidden?" "Well," Buffy said, almost reluctant to accept this explanation, "I knew there was a curse, and curses are usually not good, so&" "So you knew the curse: he's a vampire, but he's got a soul; he wants to drink people, but he can't. Why would you be thinking there's this other part, when that's enough part?" "No reason," Buffy admitted, "but" "Nope, no more but," Willow insisted, putting on a mock serious manner, raising her head back and scrunching up her nose. "This court finds that you are being extremely silly, and sentences you to forfeit all your guilt." Buffy thought that Willow really looked cute, but was too generally depressed to feel guilty over that right now. Since Buffy was silent, Willow continued, in her normal voice. "So you didn't know what would happen. I mean, it's Angel's curse and he didn't know, so why sho" "That's just it, Will," Buffy said, quietly cutting her off. She gulped before saying the words she never really wanted to hear herself say. "I think Angel did know." (to be continued in "Willful Blindness and Non-Judgmental 'Ew!'s" )
|