Re: ::BuffyWantsWillow:: End of the Month State of the Gutter Report - August 2001

[Tater <tater@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

TO: The Director of Public Safety, All Department Heads, and all other
interested parties.
FROM: The United Vegetable Empire.
SUBJECT: End of the Month State of the Gutter Report - August 2001


> Item 2:
> The Office of Gutter Safety would like to send its condolences to the United
> Vegetable Empire regarding the recent explosion at the West Sunnydale
> Broccoli factory that resulted in over 400 steaming deaths. We would also
> like to take this time to disavow all knowledge of the thieved of 45 pounds
> cheese and we certainly know nothing about the flyers advertising a picnic
> in the park during the American Labour Day holiday where broccoli and cheese
> are going to be served.


Actually, we are responsible for the wayward cheese and the flyers
ourselves. The ritual consuming with cheese is a venerated part of the
ancient and sacred Brocolli Funeral Rites. Many vegetable burial rites
involve ritual cannibalism. While we never kill our own, we figure if
they're already dead, what the heck.



tater (Vegetables of the world unite!)
Head of the United Vegetable Empire.