State of the Gutter and Woods Outback Emergency Address

["Shadow" <Shadowlander1@xxxxxxx>]

TO: All Citizens of the Gutter and Woods Outback
FROM: The Director of Public Safety
SUBJECT: State of the Gutter and Woods Outback Emergency Address

:: A small furry little vampire flying fox with an orange draining fetish
and wearing a combat helmet walks up to the podium and the awaiting
reporters :: Good afternoon... I called this press conference to keep all
of you apprised of the events taking place in the real world and how those
events affect us as a community and as a people. In general we in the
Gutter and Woods Outback are a peaceful lot... barring the little Riley and
Mutt-boy abuse that tends to run rampant from time to time among the more
militant of us... myself included. However the events of 11 September have
caught many of us unprepared and are sickening beyond belief... I need not
recap what these events were... we all have a television... we saw the
videos and the terror and shock the world is feeling. As a society we
should view such acts for what they are... the acts of cowards. I have no
use for such creatures... and they are not welcome in the Gutter and Woods
Outback.

As such I have ordered the Sunnydale Self-Defence Force to maintain their
visuals... to continue their watch for trouble as well as the occasional
Koala and Gopher Jungle Juice smuggling runs. In this time of crisis we
will stand together as both Gutter and Woods Outback dwellers and citizens
of Earth... this is our planet too. But what we won't allow or tolerate is
fear... we cannot give into the despair of these events I will not dishonour
of the so many that have lost their lives in a senseless act of cowardness.

I know what living in fear is like... I was born in Berlin... back when they
had this hated symbol of oppression and hatred called the Berlin Wall. My
earliest memories are waking up at night by the sound of sirens and
floodlights and machine gun fire. The sounds and sights only had one
meaning... someone was trying to climb that wall.. escape from East Berlin.
I also remember the duty train out of Berlin... where all the windows were
covered in thick heavy cloth... and if you opened the damn blinds the train
would stop and East German soldiers would come on the train. I remember
riding the bus to school with armed soldiers in full combat gear and machine
guns... escorting a bus load of five and six year olds to school. That is
my earliest memories of Berlin... it is something I carry inside of me
always. That is what fear and hatred does... and I will not allow it in the
Gutter and Woods Outback.

We will not be controlled by terror... we will honour the slain and mourn
for our own innocence for a long time to come. But as long as I am hanging
around the Gutter and spreading mischief and mayhem... I will not be
intimidated. It is business as usual ladies and gentlemen... I will not
give the cowards the satisfaction of seeing me sweat... I will shed my tears
and honour the memory of the innocent... but I will not cater to terrorists
or their damn holy war whatever it may be.

In conclusion... the Gutter and Woods Outback are secure... our patrols are
reporting "all quiet" - which makes me wonder what the Demonic Cabbages are
up to. The Questionably Sane Were-biker Folk are holding a biker rally and
wet t-shirt contest this weekend... having decided that Sunnydale babes in
wet t-shirts are a hell of a lot more interesting to look at then Sam
Donaldson or Peter Jennings.

And the vampire fruit bat has plenty of oranges and is still quite
questionably sane. This is all... we now return you to your regularly
scheduled fanfics.

Shadow --
Dir. of Pub. Safety of the SECoLGA and Chief Dungeon Keeper. Vampire Teddy
Bear and Flying Fox {Fruit Bat} of the Woods Outback. The Big Bad and
Little Comma. Mistress of Mischief, corruptor of the innocent, tormentor of
Quindolyn. Founding Member of the Get Willow and Buffy Naked Society.
{GWBN -- Hey, its a way of life.} Dark Mistress of Weirdness. Yang to
Alex's Yin. Charter Member of the Hand of Chaos, member of the Order of the
Silver Claw of the Highland Werewolves of Gaia. Member of the Questionably
Sane Biker Were-Folk Assn. {QSBWFA} :[

AIM Screen Name: ShadowDrake
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