From: montevallo64@xxxxxxxxxxx
To: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: ::BuffyLovesWillow:: Fwd: FIC: Thoughts and Illusions pt. 3
Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2001 05:20:41 -0000
Sorry about all the cross posting,but i know some folks who are on
one list and not the other.
DISCLAIMERS: nOT MINE, THEY BE jOSS'S ADN upn'S.
NOTES: [ ] thoughts, " " speaking. ( I am starting to wonder why I
put this in nobody talks accept for once)
WARNING: Spoilers for the 6th season of Buffy!!!
Pt. 3 Tara's POV
She's in shock.
At least that's what I have been telling myself. Willow is always
babbly, but I haven't heard her babble in weeks. She's lost at least
ten pounds.
Shock. She's just in shock.
Everyone has decided that Willow and I should take care of Dawnie.
Willow just nods her head, not really listening.
************************************
Willow walks around lost, disheartened, oblivious to anything except
Dawn and the Buffy bot.
I don't register unless I am blocking her, forcing her to eat.
Whenever Willow sees the Buffy bot she gets super cold. Performs it's
maintenance as quickly as possible. The complete opposite happens
when she sees Dawn. Willow engulfs Dawn in a hug, starts crying. It
tears me up that she would rather be comforted by Dawn than me. I
don't say anything, 'coz Dawn needs support to.
Willow just needs time. She just lost her bestfriend.
************************************
Xander and Anya are arguing, but it doesn't matter. I check and make
sure Willow is still in the back room. She is, just standing there
staring at the punching bag. I go back to the house, up the stairs
to our room. I find the book she has been reading recently hidden
under the bed. Good the page is marked. It's a spell, but why would
she? maybe she is goign to start casting again soon? I translate the
title, and look dumbly at the book. No! That's wrong, Willow
couldn't. Willow walks through the door as if summoned by my
thoguhts, and I stare at her, seeing for the first time how my
girlfriend looks.
Her hair. It's lost it's shine, and is all tangled. Her usual
cheery clothing is now gone, replaced with anything dark or muted
that she could find. And if that wasn't bad enough it just hangs off
of her. She lost at least twenty pounds.
I brush the tears form my eye. How could I have ket this happen?!
During my appraisl she grabs the book from me, yelling. I don't
bother to hide the tears, they run down nmy face, but they don't
bring solace. She stops and says something like: 'what if she had
been Dawn?' And for a moment I am angry, furious. I want to
shout: 'then you would hug me for the first time since Buffy's
death!' But I don't she needs compassion, so I try and get her to
talk about her feelings. She cuts me off and walks away.
****************************************
I don't understand!! She took care of me, but when I try to do the
same she walks away. There are no more late night talks, no spells
at all. No, that not right. There is one spell, the one for Buffy.
****************************************
The blood, the tests! I should have known! I can't believe she
would lie to me about someting like magic! She used- what has shse
become?! She's not my Willow. SHe hasn't been anything since...
Buffy.
Goddess! How stupid am I?! She loves her! O goddess I think I amd
going to barf. I put my hadn over my mouth, trying to stop my
thoughts. Anya looks up from her rant and asks if I am all rigth. I
weant to shout: No! The love of my life is in love with a dead
person! That she couldn't ever be satisfied with me.
But I shake my head, tellher I need to sit down. Concentrate. The
hardness to the chair, the smooth wood. No thoguths other than the
feel of the wood. the back door opens and they walk in. I run my
fingers over thr chair trying to keep my calm. She looks at me, she
been crying. I pause.
The wood has a knick in it.
Okay the next part is a surprise!! Not but if you would like to guess
I'll let you see a sneak peek if you get it right.
-Angel
--- End forwarded message ---