FIC: An Untitled Buffy/Tara story (Part 1)

"Okay, was that as lame as I thought it was? I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly up-to-date on the ways of Wicca, so I could be off base, but I'm gonna guess that that wasn't what you were hoping for." Buffysaid to Willow as they walked down the hall towards their dorm room.

The aspiring witch had asked the slayer to come with her to a Wicca group meeting that had been held on campus. Ever since Oz left, having someone around helped her to not focus on him; her friend readily agreed, despite magick not being her interest or forte. She'd hoped that she could find something productive that would occupy her time, but the forty-five minutes she took out of her life was a huge disappointment.

"Understatement of the century. It was talk - all talk. Magickally savvy witches? I think not." The redhead muttered. "Blah, blah...Gaia...Blah, blah...moon...menstrual, life-force power thingy. They're just a bunch of wanna blessed bees." She frowned. "You know, nowadays everygirl with a Henna tattoo and a spice rack thinks she's a sister to the dark ones."

They reached the door to their room, and entered.

"Well, I'm sorry it was a bust. I know you were looking to go farther in that department." The blonde was sympathetic. "But what about that one girl?"

"Huh?"

"Tara, remember? She seemed to wanna back you up. Why don't you check her out, see if she's the real deal?"

It took the redhead a second, but a face was put to the name as she sat on her bed. Tara. Yeah, she did seem different than the rest of them. Buffy handed her a soda she'd gotten from their mini-fridge, and sat down with her.

"Oh...yeah, I could. She was pretty shy, though."

"And it's not like you were *ever* that way." The sarcasm was laid on pretty thick, and her friend grinned slightly. "Anyway, she was probably just afraid she'd get laughed at."

They'd both been there before. The slayer got the impression that Tara was an out-of-towner (well,she didn't recognize her from high school), and she could see why the fellow blonde would want to keep her mouth shut and avoid becoming an outcast. It was a shame; hiding who you were was an all too familiar theme. Reading people was a talent that had become second nature to her, and when she looked at Tara, Buffy saw another side just dying to come out.

"Like I did." The hacker slumped her shoulders.

"Will, they're stupid, you're not." Buffy put her arm around them. "Am I speaking Chinese? Do I need to find a translator to get the message across? Cause if it has to come to that, then we have problems."

She smiled gratefully, shaking her head. "I'd just like to float something bigger than a pencil someday." Willow sighed, and then the smile was back, as she wondered how her little matchmaking attempt was working out. "Hey, how's with you and Riley?"

"We're with nothing." Buffy smirked. "Give it up, girl. He's not in consideration."

"Aw, come on, Buffy. I need my vicarious smoochies."

"Try being social with Xander and Anya."

The redhead made a face. "Ugh. No thank you. Definitely gonna hafta pass there." When did Xander lose his mind? "But youwill be kissing somebody before the year's over; that's a promise."

"Don't hold your breath...and, wait a minute. What about you?"

"Uh uh, no way. Situations like this have a system of rules. The most important? Cause your boyfriend left first, I, as your friend, have to set you up first. I'm a non-budger with rules. Once you're all 'date-ho' again, then we'll worry about me. If...if I'm ready and all."

"Good luck." The blonde said, meaning it. If Willow was successful, it meant good thingsfor her. "Hey, if Tara's really into witchcraft, you should tell her she can hang around with us. Maybe she'll wanna join the group and there can be a vote or an initiation or something. She'd know about demons and stuff, right? It's just...she looked like she could use a few friends, and misfits have to stick together."

An _expression_ of confusion formed on Willow's face, but she shrugged. "K, sure."

"What?"

"What, what?"

Buffy cocked an eyebrow. "Whatever."

***

There was nothing like losing your vocal chords to make you appreciate them. Everything else had passed through Sunnydale, so why not fairytale monsters called "the Gentlemen" who stole people's heartsand voices? Willow had finally caught up with Tara during the extended period of silence, and they had helped each other out, using their combined magickal strengths to move a vending machine in front of a door, protecting them from attack. The blonde was definitely the genuine article.

The two wiccas walked into the lounge the following day. Shy was an understatement when describing Tara; Willow couldn't ever remember being as reserved as her fellow practioner. Even as they found seats, she managed to somehow duck behind her hair, and she had a tendency to stutter. It was kind of cute, but also kindof sad. The redhead could see why Buffy noticed her, though. The slayer was always able to appreciate someone's oddness from minute one; able to know that somewhere underneath the quirkiness was a good person.

Willow knew that first-hand.

"You were there looking for me?" She asked Tara.

"I thought maybe we could do a spell, make people talk again? I-I'd seen you in the group - the w-wicca group? You were...you were different than them. I mean, they didn't seem to know -"

"What they were talking about?" She laughed lightly.

"I think if they saw a w-witch they would, um...run the other way." She joked with a smile, and nervous laugh. "Uh, t-that girl, you were...sitting next to, is she your f-friend?"

"Who, Buffy? Yeah, my best friend; but she's not a witch. She has...other hobbies."

Willow wasn't sure, but she thought that was relief on Tara's face.

"Like what?"

"Oh, you know, girly stuff. Shopping, cheesy romance movies, and...kickboxing."

"Kickboxing?" The girl's eyebrows furrowed.

"Buffy's big on self-defense. Sunnydale's a scary place." She didn't like being put on the spot; she wasn't a great secret-keeper. "She's real strong; I think it drives potential boyfriends away. Guys get all huffy and macho." She scowled. "If I sound bitter, it's cause I sorta am. We're recent dumpees."

The explanation was lame, but it would have to do.

"I'm sorry." Tara frowned.

"Thanks. We're coping okay, but when we run out of ice cream, it won't be pretty."

Why did she expect this girl she'd just met to care about their problems?

"You're really nice. I'm sure you and Buffy'll both...find n-new people." Tara got quiet. "And with the power you guys have -"

"Me? Powerful? Nooo." She got smiled at again. "Just Buffy.But come and eat lunch with us sometime - you can meet her."

"Oh,um, I dunno...I wouldn't wanna get...in t-the way..."

"She wants to meet you."

"S-she does?" Her smile got wider. "She s-said that?"

"Uh huh." Willow was amused. "So how long have you been practicing?"

***

'Perfect.' Tara thought as she went into her dorm the next day.

Why was she always attracted to the wrong people? Boys, they liked boys. Buffy liked boys. At least she knew that now instead of later; she didn't have any chance whatsoever. And even if sexuality wasn't an issue, it wasn't like she'd get very far. She couldn't talk without tripping over her own words, she wasn't that interesting (she wasn't funny, either, and that was a serious disadvantage), and she didn't know what it was, but she felt like Buffy was special. They both were cool,and she knew she liked Willow, but when she saw Buffy in the meeting, she just couldn't look away.

Anyway, they were cool, she wasn't. At all.

The blonde witch searched for a spell book. She needed a distraction, needed to hole herself in her room, just like she did back home. She left to start fresh, to get away from her overbearing family. It hadn't worked yet; she was too afraid. How was she supposed to get friends, gain confidence, if she stayed afraid? Her conversation with Willow was the most she'd spoken since she'd arrived in town, and her mom was the only one who'd ever been encouraging. Unfortunately, the woman had gone.

If she had believed the things her mother told her, maybe things would be different. It was pathetic; she was pathetic. But she was invited to lunch, wasn't she? Buffy wanted to meet her, right? That was good. Though that didn't matter, because what would happen if she really started to like her? It wouldn't turn out well - especially because of what was inside of her. It'd be better if she remained in her bubble; no one got hurt that way. She'd adjust to the solitary life sooner or later. All she had to get was a few animals, and then she could live herlife in peace.

'So your big goal is to become one of those lonely, crazy ladies with fifty cats?'

"They're not crazy. They're sweet, and a l-little eccentric." She argued with herself.

'Or they're nuts. And you can pretend like the words don't all mean the same thing if you want, but it doesn't change the fact that they do. You learn that in reality, Tara.'

"Yeah, I know." She sighed, giving in, when there was a knock at her door. Not believing that someone would want to visit her, it took a second for her to answer the door. "Hel -"

Buffy and Willow were standing in the hallway.

"Let's go. You're coming to lunch, and if we stand here, it just keeps getting later and later. Time's wacky that way. Before you know it, dinner'll be here." The slayer announced, sheand her friend taking an arm each and dragging her with them. "Maybe Willow should've made the offer more clear. It wasn't optional."

"Buffy, Tara; Tara, Buffy." Willow introduced them.

"H-hi."

"Hey."

'Wow. This is new.'

***

The trio of females sat in the college's food court, two of them eating unhealthy, grease-covered meals, the other sticking to a salad topped with a light amount of Thousand Island dressing. Tara ate less when she was nervous; her stomach couldn't handle anything too heavy. They were on the subject of magick now, though, and it was a calming subject. She kept discreetly glancing at Buffy, not wanting to be obvious about it, and wondering if what she and Willow were saying was being followed. The last thing she wanted to do was be rude.

Was the petite blonde comprehending? Not really.

It wasn't like there was no attempt to, but Buffy was out of her element - the blank look was a dead giveaway. Here they were talking about spells and twenty different kinds of warts, and all she could contribute were ointment suggestions. Willow had found herself a partner to learn from, and even though she was happy for her, the slayer still wanted to be in on the discussion. The more complicated the words got, the further distanced she became. She didn't completely understand whythat bugged her, but it did.

Willow had been doing spells for the past year and a half, and when they came to that topic during conversations, being able to only absorb every other sentence hadn't bothered her. Her friend would let her know what was a positive thing so she could be congratulatory, and what was a negative thing, so she could cheer her up; it was a reliable system. Now she was just lost. Couldn't they veer off back into the land of generality?The witches were going to spend plenty of spell-casting time together - this was her hour.

She was the one who told Willow to invite Tara to lunch in the first place. Why did she want to sound interesting and knowledgeable tothe new girl? She hadn't exactly thought that through. Still, if this went on any longer, she was going to start to fidget. There had to be something that was on par with magick in the attention-grabbing department. Something that would make her appear intelligent. As Tara turned to look at her for what seemed like the umpteenth time and gave her that cute half-smile/half-grin, she thought of it, unable to stop herself from blurting out -

"I'm a vampire slayer."

She didn't believe in secrets, anyway.

***

"Giles!" Buffy yelled, barging through his front door later that night after patrol. "I wanna learn about magick!"

"Excuse me?" The ex-watcher said, looking up from thebook he was reading.

"I need one of those." She pointed to it. "The thing with the pages. Only it has to be about magick, not..." She stood in front of the sofa and titled her head to the side so she could see the title. "...'How to Basket Weave'?"

"Right." He stuffed the book behind a pillow. "Uh, any particular area?"

"History, I guess. Just your basic, general info. Unless ya want me bippity-boppity-booing stuff. Hey, I'll try anything once."

"I'd rather you not." He said with a cough.

"Thought so." She smiled, putting her hands behind her back.

"Let me see what I have."

"Great. Thanks."

"Why the sudden interest?" He asked as he got up to scour his collection.

"Why the sudden interest in becoming the male, Martha Stewart?" She was answered with a stern, English glare. "What? Is there something wrong with a girl wanting to expand her mystical horizons? Wanting to grasp new and exciting concepts?"

"No, of course not. But past experience has shown me that you're not the type to pursue knowledge...outside of a formal, academic setting."

"Could that be any more British? You Americanize, then you revert. Your girlfriend's a bad influence; pick aflag to salute and stick with it." Two glares in less than five minutes - she was proud. "Just say what you mean in 'normal person language' for once. You don't think I'm a go-getter when it comes to filling up my brain with...with..."

"Facts?" Giles supplied.

"Yeah, those! I got into college, didn't I?"

"And sometimes I still find myself wondering how." Her mouth hung open. "You could have asked Willow for assistance."

"I'm thinking that would've been a better idea. If I'd a known that I was gonna interrupt 'Basket Weaving 101'..." She laid her arms across her chest. "Do you have some or not?"

"Yes. Hang on." He turned to her, looking a tad concerned. "Are you all right? You seem somewhat distracted."

"I am *not* distracted." She responded adamantly. "It's assumptions like that that get people turned into demons."

A glare hat trick; she was on tonight. "My mistake."

***

"I'm glad you came; I know it's late." Willow said to Tara as she let her into the dorm room.

"I don't mind. It's f-fun doing spells with somebody else - there's more focus. We'll figure it out."

"It's simple really, but I just can't get it."In the middle of the floor sat the design of a star, and inside of it was a circle of white powder. A rose lay off to the side. "We're gonna float the rose. Then use the magicks to pluck the petals off, one at a time. Probably hasn't been working cause the book says something about having more than one person. Duh me, right? It's a synchronicity thing."

"Cool." Tara commented as they sat opposite each other within the star.

"And it should be very pretty."

The redhead placed the rose in the center of the star, and Tara's eye caught sight of the high stack of magick-related bookson one of the beds.

"Are those all yours?" She asked.

"Nope. They're Buffy's. She borrowed them from Giles."

"The man who used to be the librarian at your high school?"

"Yep, and he's still her watcher. Sorta-kinda unofficially, but without him, we woulda been flying blind the past few years. Not in the literal sense of being airborne, but...you get my point. Don't you?"

The blonde nodded, smiling. "Uh, why d-does she h-have -?"

"I dunno, but she's been staying up, reading 'em like a madwoman lately." Willow smiled. "If magick was a class, her GPA would go through the roof; she won't tell me what it is, cause she knows I'd faint."Tara got this huge grin on her face. "Ready?"

They held out their arms, grasped hands, and then closed their eyes. Willow was taking deep breaths, beginning to feel the energy flowing. Then her partner opened a lid.

"What kind of stuff does she like to do? B-besides punching?" She was frowned at. "A-after we're done."

Why couldn't the blondes just ask each other these things? They began again, and soon enough, a bright light appeared on the star. Feeling the breeze signaled to them that the spell was taking effect. After a few seconds, they opened their eyes; seeing the rose on the same level as their shoulders, they separated their hands and smiled.

"It worked." Tara said softly.

"Now for the hard part." Buffy was just getting in, though, and when the door opened, all concentration was lost. The rose flew at the slayer - who caught it. "Or not."

"You shouldn't have, guys." She brought the flower to her nose, smirking. "Am I interrupting?" Willow looked between the two, and just threw her hands in the air. "Patrol was boring. I just wanna curl up with Mr. Gordo and read about Salem. I could skip it, but I hafta be thorough. No matter how disturbing it is...hi, Tara."

The witch waved. "Mr. Gordo?"

"My pig." That answer cleared everything *right* up. "I'll show him to you."

Willow was getting the impression that she was going to have to step in and do something with them if she ever wanted to grow as a witch, but she didn't know what, yet.

***

Ittook a couple weeks, but it was now at the point where Buffy and Willow didn't have to go to Tara and physically pry her from her room. The witch was willingly coming to them and asking if they wanted to do one thing or another. She didn't know what they saw in her, but she was grateful to the Goddess for their friendship. She wasn't going to waste the gift; if this was all she was allowed, she'd be happy with it. She was in a blissful state of ignorance now, concealing the truth of what she was even from herself.

She and Willow had set aside practice time each day, and as they talked, the more comfortable she became. As soon as Buffy found out that their sessions were a regular thing, though, the slayer sat in on them. If Tara hadn't known that Buffy was straight, she would've thought that the visits were partially motivated by jealousy, but that was ridiculous. She'd seen references to vampire slayers in the odd book here and there - Buffy being one was the coolest thing. There were tons of questions, but when she started looking into her aura she saw a lot of pain there, and didn't want to upset her by asking any.

She wanted to help her, only she wasn't sure how, so they'd talk about her friends and slaying techniques - she didn't know if she was ready for more people yet. Besides,they sounded strange.

Every once and a while Buffy would mention some magickal fact she'd come across, and Tara was more than happy to explain (and show) things to her. It was difficult to explain slaying, however, and the witch couldn't see her as this big superhero. Buffy seemed normal enough - a caring, strong-willed, yet still fragile, girl. She'd seen only brief glimpses of the other persona, which eventually caused her to decide to accompany the slayer on patrol to view a typical night. Buffy's reaction was somewhere between being worried and being thrilled, and Willow helped thrilled to win out.

They had just entered the cemetery, in mid-conversation. Tara wouldn't get hurt.

"You loved your mom, a lot, huh?" Buffy questioned gently.

"We k-kind of understood each other. My d-dad and m-my brother...they didn't. She was amazing. Not just with magick; she was good at -"

"Being a mom." The slayer smiled.

"Yeah." The witch smiled back.

"Sounds like it. Looks like she was good at her job, too." Tara blushed. "I don't spend enough time with mine. She's had to deal with a bunch of stuff, but she's always been there for me, you know? I think you'd like her."

"If she's anything l-like you..." Tara trailed off before she got in too deeply.

Buffy blushed next, and the conversation hit a lull for a few rows of headstones. Then a more fun topic occurred to her.

"Ooh. Idea. What celebrity and/or hunky moviestar do you fantasize about the most? I'd ask the vampires, but I fear their answers. So dish." Buffy said. "And don't say you haven't, cause I won't believe you." She wasn't hearing anything. "Fine, I'll go first. It's a tie between George Clooney and Brad Pitt. You think they'd get uglier with age, but luckily for us, they don't. Yeah, they probably got some help from plastic surgery -"

"Whoa...Brad Pitt...really is a guy? But he a-always looks so pretty."

Just when she thought she shouldn't have told a joke, Buffy started laughing, and she smiled in relief.

"It's scary - I can actually picture him in drag." The slayer remarked once the laughter stopped. "He might even be more attractive as a woman, and you know what? I'd switch like that."

"You w-would?" She didn't think her tone was *that* hopeful.

"Sure, why not? I'm thinking of taking lessonsfrom Anya and just turning my back on men all together. Things never, ever go right; mostly cause of compatibility issues." Such as vampirism, and asshole-ism. "I've gotta conserve my energy, and they're way too much work."

"Bad experiences?"

"Nothing but." Buffy sighed. "Sorry, I'm just venting and ranting, really. I usually say all this to myself, but now that you're here listening, it sounds less insane. Thanks for the peace of mind."

"Oh." And her hopes were dashed. "A-anytime."

"So? Which celebrity? It's not somebody old, is it? Well, 'Harrison Ford' old is okay; 'Bob Hope' old is just...a disturbing visual place. Let's hear it already; I'm not easily shocked."

'If I tell her, she'll never speak to me again.'

'Do you really think so?'

'I-I don't...I barely know her.'

'Then be honest with her and find out who she is. Have to stop being afraid sometime.'

'What if I ruin everything?'

Her internal conservation was over when Buffy placed a hand on her arm and stared at her like she'd gone off to another planet. "Tara?"

"Joey Lauren Adams." The witch said quietly.

Buffy's forehead wrinkled. "The guy from Blossom?" Tara shook her head with a smirk; when it finally registered, eyes bulged. "Wait, you're -?"

"Well, well."

She couldn't process for very long, because Spike chose at that moment to emerge from the shadows. He'd been eavesdropping for the past twenty minutes, and what he watched he was having a hard time accepting. Approaching them, he realized that this was going to be extremely entertaining. The evil-looking grin on his face told Tara to back up, but Buffy just shook her head.

"Know the Initiative I told you about? They fixed him." She whispered to the frightened blonde. "He can only pummel demons, so he basically just skulks around like a loser now, and it gets annoying fast."

But she wasn't exactly...not demonic. No. She shouldn't have come, shouldn't have deluded herself this far. She was going to lose her friendship for sure.

"I can hear you." Spike spoke up.

"Oh geez, that's right. Super-hearing is a perk for the undead. Don't I feel like a moron?" She said sarcastically. "What do you want?"

"Was heading off to the butcher's for a refill, and I had to see who was making the big, bad bitch all-a-giggle. Why Slayer, I had no idea you were so liberated. Did it make the poof all jealous? He's still stuck in the 1700's, that one."

"Spike, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't tell me you're that bloody blind. She likes you," He pointed at Tara, stepping close to her as she hung her head, "in that *special* way. Ain't that right, luv?"

Buffy couldn't think, but she knew she wanted him gone. She got in between the two of them. "Leave her alone."

"There you go, secret's out. Feel better? I know I do." Spike said with satisfaction. "Or are there more lurking about?"

He was punched, and then thrown to the ground by the slayer.

"I c-can't..." Tara stuttered, and once she got her legs to work, she started running away.

"You're such a bastard." She snapped at him. "And, oh yeah, the butcher's closed. Go and find some rats." She took off after the other girl. "Tara, wait!"

He propped himself up on his elbows, laughing. "What, no gratitude then?"

***

"C-come in." Tara said to Willow from her bed.

It was going on four days since she'd spoken to her or Buffy, and this was the first time either of them had approached her. She was convinced that the slayer was avoiding her. Well, she was avoiding her, too, so it evened out. She didn't know what else to do; sheltering herself hadn't helped, it just let the fact that she wasn't honest, eat at her. Now she'd pay for it. The other witch came to sit with her, and she looked away.

"How you doing?" The blonde didn't answer. "I'm on psycho slayer recon, wanna help me?"

This got Tara's attention. She drove her insane? "Is s-something wrong with Buffy?"

"No...no, she's totally fine. Oh, that's right, you don't..." The redhead paused. "It's a long story, but there's another slayer. Her name's Faith and she's crazy, skanky, and evil. She wasin a coma, but she's awake now, and up to her old, psychotic tricks. Faith is bad news; Buffy needs to find her before she hurts any more people."

She took a deep breath, considering it. "If it'll help...o-okay."

"It will. But if we see her, we don't engage. That leads to bruised faces. Running, fleeing and skedaddling - that's the plan."

"I'm not so good with the whole," Tara made punches that looked like she was pawing the air, "anyway."

"Swimming?" Willow smirked.

The blonde lowered her fists. "Violence." She clarified, lamely.

"Ask Buffy to show you a move or two. I'm sure she'd -"

"Do you know?" Tara cut her off. "You know, a-about me?"

"Hmm mm. And you wanna know what I think?" She braced herself. "Big whoop, you're gay. It doesn't bother her, either. Why'd you run off?"

"Cause Buffy found out...t-that I..."

"You do? Seriously?" Willow almost tackled her. "That's great! Even though Spike's a jerk."

"It is?"

"Yes! You guys talk about each other so much it drives me nuts, and now I get why! She *so* likes you; I played Cupid in a Valentine's play in fourth grade once, but this'll be way better."

Tara vigorously shook her head. "Willow, she's straight."

"Straight-smaight! If she can date a vampire, she can date a girl. We'll make her flexible. It's my new mission." Tara couldn't help but smile. "And she hasn't come by only cause she didn't want you to be uncomfortable. Plus, it's been a busy slaying week. With what happened to Professor Walsh and all."

"So she's not m-mad?"

"No way." Willow stared at her. "You gonna get up? The sooner we jail Faith, the sooner you two'll be trading smoochies."

Tara blushed, allowing herself to be pulled off the bed, but before they went any further, she hadto be truthful. "T-there's something else. I'm...I'm a demon." She spoke to her feet. "I'm sorry."

"A demon?" Her friend looked shocked, and then slowly shook her head. "Who told you that?"

"My dad. All the women in m-my family, he said. When they turn twenty."

"Well then he's an stupid-head. You're no demon, cause if you were, I wouldn't call you my friend. Or trust you."

"That's nice, but...you can't be sure."

"I'll find a way to be." She took Tara's hand. "You haven't um, checked me out, have you?"

The girl cleared her throat. "No, o-of course...no."

"Why not?" Willow pouted.