FF: Thoughts Of Destiny

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TITLE: Thoughts of Destiny
AUTHOR: Arimis Adkinson a.k.a Reality Bender
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I
don't own anything.
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Buffy's quest for control is leading her to pieces of her past
and questions of the the present.
SPOILERS: None just a brief physical description of Faith and the death
of her watcher and events there in. part five in the Thoughts series
DISTRIBUTION: If you want it take just let me know where it's at.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I back in the writing zone again sorry for the delay. If
you haven't read Thoughts of History you won't understand some of the
references in this fic.
Feedback: Please read and review. Your feedback keeps me witing.

( Buffy's P.o.V )

Destiny is equal parts free will and chance. I can only wonder what
my destiny is now. I'm not a slayer any more and as much as I fought
against it I will miss the simplicity of it. It was see a vamp dust it
and free the intended victim. Now it's see a vamp dust it and decide if
I want the victim for myself. I can still eat normal food but I can't
digest any other type of blood except human. If the vamp in me isn't
feed I can't keep it from showing on my face. Even when I do vamp out
it's not as startling as a normal vampire. It's just enough to tell I am
not human. I seen things in the past that exists in my head to make me
think I never was. I seen slayers shift forms into animals. Melt into
pools of water and reform. Burst into flames or start them with the
flick of a wrist or the wave of a hand. Summon walls of ice and use them
to crush demons. Generate winds to blow them away. Or fade away into
mist. All thins up until now I thought only demons could do. Or fade out
in a cloud of mist. And I am begin to manifest these as well.

So here I am in the middle of a swamp fighting a bunch of swamp thing
rejects over a group of hikers who were just lucky to be in my path to
another place I was being guided to on instinct. It never stops amazing
me the stupidity of the human race. I mean who in their right mind goes
hiking a swamp. I mean it has to be on the level of horror movie logic.
" Let's go traipsing through a dank, poorly lit muddy area with all
kinds of bugs and alligator and crocodiles infected with all kinds off
diseases. and good knows what else. " If that was the logic I am glad
not be human any more. Fear is in thick in the air and I love it. I
can't tell tell who the hikers are more afraid of though. Whether its
the moss green and mud covered groaning things that had them surrounded
or me the growling hooded cloaked figure with glowing pulsating eyes and
glistening fangs that dropped from the sky with a sword. I am pretty
sure it's me because the swamp things are of little challenge to me. I
decapitated three in quick succession a split a fourth in half length
wise and a fifth at the waist. I sheath my sword and focus on the
memories of the slayer who could command fire. They tell me visualize
what I want to happen and it will. I imagine the last three bursting
into flames. I watch as they fall to the ground incinerated beyond
recognition.

I turn to the hikers and look at them closely for the first time.
They're five teenagers not much older then me. I shake my head as I
look at them. " Thank you for saving us whoever you are." One of the
three girls says. " Do yourselves a favor and stay out the swamp from
now on because you look the cast of cheesy horror movie waiting to
happen." I says as start to lift off of the ground try to get away
before the vamp side takes over and I drain this girl in front of me. "
Wait!! my name is Candace is there any way my friend or I can repay you
for saving us?" she asks causing me to pause a few feet above the
ground. The vamp side is hungry and she is a too attractive meal to
resist. As I float closer to her I reach up and remove the hood. I don't
see fear in her eyes. But can smell it from her friends. I focus on the
vamp memories on mind control I look past Candace and wave my hand and
whisper " Sleep" and they fall over unconscious. "What did you have in
mind as payment Candace." I inquire as reach out and stroke her cheek
enjoying the shudder that racks her statuesque frame. Now I see the fear
in her eyes. " W..we have money if you want it." she stutters nervously.
" And if I don't want your money." I say as I run my hand down her jaw
line and cup her chin. " Then we have food if your hungry." she states
s stronger than before with a smile that falters when I smile back and
she gets a good look at my fangs. " Do you have any idea what I am." I
ask " A vampire." "Got it in one and what do vampires eat?" "Blood" " Do
you realize now what you just offered me." She pales slightly as
understand what is about to transpire. " are you going to kill me" she
asks as I tilt her head to the the side baring her neck to me. " No just
take a little so I don't kill the next person I drink from
accidentally." I respond as sink my fang into her flesh. She moans
slight but is over all quite. I stop after a minute or two. Candace
sways from side to side slowly dazed from the blood loss smiling dizzily
at me as I place a bandage on the bite mark.

I take to the air after whispering "Wake" to her friends. I let my
mind go blank as i let my instincts guide to the next piece of what ever
it is I am being drawn to. I think over the last month and a half of my
life since I left Sunnydale. With each passing day I feel a little more
in control and balanced. These new powers not with standing I can safely
say I wont kill any of my friends or family when I do return to the
Hellmouth. Xander on the other hands is something else. He lied to me. I
get that he was jealous of Angel but Xander thinks that what keep me
from going after him when it was Willow's crush on him that did. I
vaguely wonder how he will handle my relationship with Willow if there
is one. I can only hope there will be but she honestly loves Oz and he
loves her too. I think if I have to I could be able to wait and see how
they play out. Oz is loyal but I am not so sure about his wolf side.

I am bought out of my thoughts when i feel the air stop rushing past
me. I look around and find my self floating over a lake with small
island I the center. As I descend I spot a small clearing with a large
whole in the center. I land on the lip of the chasm and peer inside. I
cane make out a small light at the bottom. I step forward into the
breach. Enjoying the free fall I slow myself as the light envelops me. I
find myself in round room similar to the one in the desert. The only
difference is this room is not balanced . Along the wall are pictures
of what I guess to be archangels from their armor and swords and dark
colored wings between attacking demons and frightened children. In the
center of the room is sword like the slayer's in the desert cave only
the wings were dark blue almost black and was floating over a cloak of
the same color.

I reached out to grab the sword and it fly to my grasp. Once again I
was swarmed by visions. I saw a girl with dark hair and eyes huddled in
a corner crying. I saw the girl being beaten or left alone by her
mother. I saw the same girl now a young woman being approached by
another woman a watcher. I watch them bond I watch her train and slay. I
see her fighting a large vampire with deformed hands. I watch her run
away to keep alive. I watch the vampire brutally kill the new slayers
watcher before her eyes. I see her here scar him and flee I see her out
side the Welcome to Sunnydale sign. As the visions end I realize the
girl is Kendra's replacement and that it is almost time for me to return
to my Willow but not yet.

I test the sword in my hand it's weight is familiar and almost
comfortable but this sword isn't mine it belongs to the new slayer. So I
place it in it's scabbard and place it and the cloak into the duffel bag
with my clothes. I sling it over my shoulder and take off out of the
chasm. As I leave the entire island slowly sinks into the lake. I can
already feel the pull again to the final place in my quest for control.
I make a vow to not fail her as I did Kendra fly off into the setting
sun.