Fic: Dianna Wears Red: Second Lesson

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc.
(Grrr....Arrgh)



Drain Brameged Inc. Proudly Presents 
A Mad-Hamlet Production



Goodbye to the sky
Know I can't fly 
But I feel loved
And you know how I feel
You're my Achillies Heel

-Topload
'Achillies Heel'

				
Dianna Wears Red
Second Lesson




"Mmm..Buffy that was..," I slide my hand across the bed expecting it to find
warm skin and soft blonde hair. Instead my caress is spent on the cold
pillowcase where my Slayer should be peacefully slumbering. I sit up.
"Buffy?"

A cool breeze blows gently across the room from the open window beside the
bed where Buffy used to sleep. I can make out the most of the room 'cause of
the moonlight slanting through the blinds and among the rumbled shapes of
tossed blankets, discared clothing I noticably miss any curved pale skinny
Summers. 

"Buffy?" I say to the empty room. 

"Now where did she go?" I grumble to myself. Reluctantly I swing my feet over
the edge of the bed. My skin voices its protests and being dragged from warm
bedding by going incredibly goosepimply as the cooler night air make contact.


Grumbling I stumble to the window. "Sheesh, leave it to an open window to
ruin a perfectly good afterglow," I mutter. 

Deliberatly ignoring the glowing red display of the time on our new alarm
clocl, I find it works better if I remain oblivious of lateness, I grab a
towel and the shampoo. 

"Maybe Buffy went to take a shower," I catch a wiff of myself.
"Mmm..possibly. I'm not too keen on ed du cathouse."

I hope she want to take a shower, cause I'm not sure I like it when I wake
up with my lover absent. 

Heh, that made my skin tingle. Lover, Buffy, lover, Buffy, lover. Wow, tingle
city. But...but where is she? 

As I reach for my bathrobe, hanging in the closet, I see Buffy's still on its
hanger right beside my own.

"Okay," I mutter slipping into my robe. "So, unless Buffy decided to go
streaking she's not in the showers. Patrol?"

I roll that thought around in my head. It's possible, and she has slipped out
after I've fallen asleep before but her clothes are still here, tangled among
my own like I imagined we'd still be when I woke up.

Still, usually when she decides to dash off on a patrol she wakes me. True
don't really totally wake up all the time I do remember it the next day. Now,
now I remember nothing like that. We fell asleep together and then...poof
she's gone. She has been kinda distracted a bit too. Or maybe I'm seeing too
much into this. Yeah, yeah that's it. She just didn't want to wake me after
that...after that glorious ...wow...I mean. Still, she should have woken me.

I shrug, after all she probably slipped into some 'patrol' clothes. Yeah, she
looks great in her leather jacket and jeans but, as she's said many times,
it's easier to kick a vamps face in wearing sweatpants. 

I got some studying to do anyway, after skipping afternoon classes I better
catch up. I'll wait for her after I take my shower. 

***

"Sir, I've got something."

Crouching under a tree that marks one of the edges of the campus I wave the
private over motioning for the rest of the squad to halt. Just past the tree
line I can make out the begining of one of the many cemetaries dotting across
Sunnydale. Prime spots for aquiring subjects for the lab coats back at the HQ.


"What do you have private?" I ask him.

He crouches down next to me and pulls out his motion detector. "Movement sir,
about a hundred meters to the south,"

"Why is that intresting private? This is a town after all, people moving
about, small woodland creature and so on," I've giving him a hard time, I know
perfectly well the scanners are programmed to ignore targets below a certain
mass. I'm doing this so he learns to be more precise with his reports, there
is no time for wasted speech in the field.

"Heat signature sir. Whatever is moving out there doesn't have one. It's the
same temperature as its surroundings."

"Coordinates?" I snap.

He rattles of a long string of positional data. Translated it means
'that-a-way'.

I stand up. "Okay men," I turn to the rest of the patrol. "Science division
just asked for us to aquire a vamprire for some new tests. So this op is a bag
n' capture, not a take down. That means this will be a little trickier." I
point to the two most expierience men in the squad. "Parker, you're with me
at point," I glance at Forrest. "Forrest, you bring up the rear, make sure
nobody gets lost." I see Forrest roll his eyes, he hates babysitting. "Get
those tazers amped people," I order standing up. "Everyone follow Evens."

"Holy...!" The private still crouching beneath the tree exclaims.

"Report!" I snap at him again. This guy is going to get us all killed. If he
doesn't learn to not react to the unexepected we're in trouble. He should know
by now to not react to the unexepected but simply to report it.

"The target sir, its vanished!" He exclaims scrambling to his feet. What did
he see on the scanner of his?

"What?" I peer over his shoulder at the readout on his scanner. "What
happened?"

He's punching buttons on the keyboard. "I'm..I'm not sure sir." 

"Be sure soldier!" Behind me Parker and Forrest begin to shift their weight
while Travis starts glancing at the dark trees around us. The private's case
of nerves is begining to infect the others. Not good. 

"Something...that is...." He says, his voice trembling. He swallows and
starts over his voice rock steady this time. "Sir, scanners registered a new
target approaching the suspected vampire at incredible speeds, they met fora
split second and the suspected vampire's signal was lost. Whatever it is sir,
it took that vampire out in under a second. Before I could get any further
data the new target was off my scope. The only thing I managed to get was the
secondary target's speed and temperature,"

Now that's a report. "And they were?"

"Sir, secondary target was moving at a ground speed of just under forty miles
per hour with a temperature of one hundred and five degrees sir. Whatever it
is, its running hot," He punches a few more buttons on the display. "Verified
sir. One hundred and five."

"A vehicle?" I ask.

"Negative sir. Mass sensors put the secondary target at around that of a
normal human. Probably around one hundred pounds," He turns slowly in place.
"Annndd..,"

"Private?" My temper is fraying. 

"Sir. Targets course is north, from where we came. Sir whatever it is its
heading for the campus."

I ratchet a fresh charge pack into my tazer rifle. "You can track it?"

The private fiddles with a few more dials. "Affirmative sir. Its got a
pheremone signature a mile wide,"

I nod and turn to the rest of the patrol. "Change of orders gentlemen. We got
something new. Capabilities are unknown, threat level is unknown. Primary
objective is capture for study but we'll take it down if we have to. Arm your
tazers, no live fire except on my order. Parker, radio this is in and catchup
with us at the edge of the campus. Move out!"

***


Being of the squeaky clean persuasion I feel much better. Of course being
squeaky clean requires one to have just stepped out of a shower and having
just stepped out of a shower means being damp and being damp in the cool air
of the hallway means I am forced to also be of the cold persuasion.

Teeth chattering like crazy I now I can't get the damn key in the door. 

C'mon, c'mon I need snugglies! Oh great dropped em' okay, come back here you
little metal..finally. 

I fling the door open wide and bolt through, "Honey I'm homHUH?!" The words
catching in my throat hurt a bit and its with luck I don't dissolve into a
coughing fit. My breath catches and I can feel my eyes go really wide.
Something falls on my foot, I think its my keys but I'm not sure. I'm too busy
to notice.

Cause...Buffy is home but...she's not supposed to be perched on the
windowsill!

Her feet shouldn't be muddy, she shouldn't have a few leaves tangled in her
hair and she really shouldn't be naked while having muddy feet or perching on
the windowsill. But she is perched on the windowsill and her feet are muddy
and she is naked. My brain is stuck in a loop.

She sits, perched on the windowsill, her bangs hanging over her forehead low
concealing her eyes. Her hands are gripping the edge of the sill stabalising
her while her legs are curled beneath her. I can see the muscles bunched up,
tense and ready to push her off. Where though I don't know. Into the room or
out into the night? 

I don't think-

I don't think, okay I mean I do think, lots actually but I don't think she
expected me to be awake. Is she going to run? Was this what she was
hiding...what exactly is she hiding? A streaking fetish? Kinky yes, if true
but not totally put offish. I think, I mean I'll have to think about it a bit,
get used to the idea I suppose but I do love her and...oh God she might be
getting ready to run. Have to say something, something uh...careing. Yeah.
Okay. I can do that. I care about her after all.

"Buffy? Is..what are... what are you doing?" It takes a few seconds but I
manage to hammer out a sentence. "Where have you been? What...what's going
on?"

Her head tilts up and in the dim light I can make out her eyes. She sees me
and ... so... she can see me and I see her recognise me, she's smiling; itsa
warm smile. Like the kind she gave me a few hours ago, looking down on me as I
lay underneath her. She was stroking my face with her hand, the same place
over and over from my left temple down the side of my face to my chin. Just
the tips of her fingertips really touched me and it was so light that even
though she did it over and over it never got irritating. She smiled at me when
she was doing this, just like she's doing now, and in that smile I felt warm
and ...loved. She was telling me with out words that she loved me and she'dbe
with me and, somehow I knew this but I don't know how I knew, she was telling
me she'd be patient with me. That she'd never grow frustrated or bored or
upset.


Now she's sitting on our windowsill, without any clothing on, the mud from
outside dripping from between her toes to fall on the dresser and she's
smiling at me. And that smile is telling me the same thing. 

I feel loved. 

I feel warm. 

I feel patient. 

Instinct promps me and I know. She's not wild, not an animal but she is. I
think, she just wants to know how I feel and she wants to know that everything
is okay. I think. She hasn't said anything, only acted and she's waiting for
me to act to, to respond in kind to her. There's only one thing I can do, want
to do. I kneel down slowly and hold my arms open and smile back at her. "Come
here," I whisper. "Come to me."
	


Buffy gives a quiet mew of joy and leaps into the room. Only she could send
herself screaming through the air yet curl into my arms without knocking me
over. She rests her head on my lap and wraps her arms around my waist. I don't
feel nervous or hesitant, I have no doubt or fear. Just... patient. I beginto
pick the various leaves out of her hair and other stuff. There's a little mud
mingled in but I pick that out too. Buffy sighs softly, I guess she enjoys
being fussed over. I certainly enjoy doing the fussing.

"You're going to track mud all over the room," I mutter in a fake growl. 

"S'okay, I'll clean it up," she mumbles into my bathrobe. 

Her response catches me a little by surprise. "Hey, you can talk!"

She rolls onto her back and eyes me warily. "Yeah Will, did that whole
'learning to speak' when I was two. Or it could have been three. I always was
a slow starter."

I grin sheepishly and shrug. "I..uh..meant that, well, with you looking
so..er."

"Primal," Buffy offers.

"Yeah primal, I thought maybe neanderBuffy had decided to make an encore,"I
pause. "It's not that is it." 

Its not a question. Something has happened to Buffy, there's been a changein
the elements, an addition. I look at her carefully and, yeah, something has
been added. I can...uhm...feel it. 

"You're more," I whisper. 

"Yes," she whispers back to me. Buffy doesn't look away, or glance elsewhere
when she says it. She looks at me steadily. Looking for my reaction I think.
Maybe she's afraid of whatever is going on, but she's not running away fromit
either.

"You knew this happened, you knew something had changed inside and you didn't
tell me," I can't help it, feeling a little hurt. I have no right to know
every single thing going on in Buffy's head and no wish too but at the same
time the idea that she was uh...growing? And didn't tell me, well, that
bothers me. Its not like I wouldn't have understood or something. Its not like
I would have abandonded her like some people I could mention, but won't, its
not polite. 

This is a...this is a big thing though, biggity big big if she's...changing
somehow. I want to know about these things. The good, the bad,
the...the...uhm..light and the dark. I want her to feel free to tell me
anything and not have to worry about my reaction.

I want her to be perfectly comfortable of coming right up to me, tapping me
on the shoulder and looking me square in the eye and say, 'Willow, I have a
streaking fetish.' and I'd look her right back and say, 'That's nice dear,
could you let me know where and when? I'd really like to watch sometimes.'
See? And everything would be okay.

And if, and if, if she had to come up to tell me something less funny, I mean
funny ha-ha, not funny strange, she could. Just walk up to me and say, again
with the steady eye contact, 'Willow, I'm changing into something a bit more
animalisitic.' and I could say...could say... I'm not sure what I'd say to
that actually. 

I want her to love me and know I lover her unconditionally. That's what I
want. Good or bad, richer or poorer, in sickness and health and so on and so
forth. 

Uh...arn't those wedding vows?

Wow.


Buffy looks away for a moment, and her movement snaps me back to the present.
I can tell she's about to back away. I reach out with both hands and gather
her close again. "No, no, no naughty slayer. No running away,"

Buffy giggles quietly in my arms. She settles in comfortably, not holding
herself away. "Naughty?" 

I roll my eyes. "Yes. We have documented proof," and I stick my tounge at
her.

The oppurtuinity for joking ends though, the wittisms have been used and
there's no more room for Buffy to manuver away from my earlier statement. She
doesn't look away from me. She reaches up and traces the counters of my face
with her fingertips, easing her touch over my eyebrows and down the ridge of
my nose, over my lips, I reflexivly pucker up to kiss her fingers. Then she
reaches back and does it again, and again, and again. 

It feels so nice, just...this thing we do. We can do. If it makes her feel
better to carress me like this then I can wait, if this makes Buffy feel more
secure than I say Go Buffy. Besides, it feels great!

She's still carressing me this way when she finally speaks. Her fingers
dancing over me, her head in my lap, my arms cushioning her and in the middle
of all this she finally replies.

"I didn't not tell you Willow. I didn't even know about it until now," 

"Huh?" I'm supposed to be the smart one and I can't understand that
statement. I roll it around in my mind for a split second and come up with
zero. Smiling a little bit I take her hands in my own, kiss her palms and then
say, "You're going to have to clear that up a bit Buffy."

"It's..um..it's like breathing. You breath in and out right?" she looks at
me, seeing if I'm following. I nod, I am...I think. 

" Well," she continues. "What if you, for no real reason, just started
breathing deeper? Slower? You might not even notice it until someone pointed
it out to you. That's me. You caught me doing it," she points at me with both
hands. "And now I realise how weird it is but until I saw it as someone else
saw it..," Buffy shrugs. "It just felt so...I dunno...normal."

"Normal to run around late night Sunnydale bereft of apparal doing God knows
what?" I giggle at the mental image, I don't want her to think I'm accusing
her.

"I was hunting." 

Pulling herself out my embrace Buffy stands up and walks to the window, its
open again the full weight of the moonlight blasting through. 

"Its wonderful Willow; me and the night. It slides over my skin like..," she
shakes her head. "Everything is alive, even the night beasts. They add to it,
make it spicy. Can you believe that? They've been here for so long that they
now have actually found a niche." 

She glances at me and sees my disbelieving look. "Oh not that that makes them
any less loathsome or slayworthy," Buffy amends. 
	
Her gaze turns back out the window. "It actually helps me, I can feel them,
smell them I know where and why they are."

She stands naked in the moonlight. Her skin just drinks it in and there's
this glow about her. She doesn't stand out in any way. She should, being
naked, looking out the window where any lucky passerby could see her, I'd have
to kill them, yet she looks...right. I...she's saying the truth. She has
changed somehow, before she invaded the night, patroling and dusting vamps and
beasties. Now she is part of the night. Or maybe, the beasties always were the
invaders? 

I want to be with her. I want to feel the moon. 

"Where are they?" The words come to me without thinking. My lips are dry, I'm
so thirsty.

"Out there," Buffy gestures with a hand.

"Why are they?" Again I don't think the words they are just there. I'm
thirsty, thirsty for her.

"For me,"


***


"Private you sure it went this way?" We're all huddled in the shadow of the
dorm. The full moons lights blocked off by the walls. 

"Sir, yes sir. The target came this way but the path just stops at the wall,"
The private moves around stealthily with his scanner held in front of him, boy
should learn not to just depend on his fancy toys. 

I scan the earth quickly but the grass is smooth and even. "It didn't dig
down. Forrest, hand me the thermnocs". My buddy tosses me the thermal
imagining binoculars. I take a few steps away from the concealing shadows of
the building, in this moonlight if anyone happens to look out the window I'll
be spotted for sure. Oh well...

I scan the rooms quickly looking for anything with a temperature, for a
change, above normal. 

"Sir!" 

"Better be good private," I don't stop checking the building. Well at least
he didn't just say 'Holy cow.,' or 'Wow,' but cut to the chase. Now all we
need to do is work on volume control.

"Locked on sir, the target must have jumped sir,"

"We figured that out already private," I keep checking the rooms, it's a bit
tricky, most people are in bed and that means their temperatures are a bit
higher, I have to take core temperatures and it takes a few seconds for the
thermocs to get a good reading. 

"Second floor sir, third room from the right," The private adds.

"That's useful information private," Gotcha.

I check the room out and immidatly dive back into the shadows dragging the
private with me. 

"What's wrong?" Forrest asks as soon as I rejoin the group. 

"It's standing right by the window," I hiss at him. 

"We goin' in?" He asks, I can hear his smile behind the mask. Sometimes I
worry a little about my good buddy. I don't mind jumping in and bustin' a few
heads when it's needed but Forrest always strikes me as a tad...eager.

"Getting confirmation first but," I nod again. "I'd put a bet on it." 

Turning away I grab the radio.

"HQ, HQ, this is Lilac. Come in HQ, over." 

"HQ online Lilac. Report, over."

"Report as follows HQ, unknown possilbe HST, capabilities unknowns, threat
level unknown. Have tracked back to campus. Have suspected HST believed to be
in a dorm room, repeat inside a dorm room. Requesting permission to intercede.
Possible, no, probable civilian casulty imminent. Over."

"HQ acknowledges. Stand by Lilac," A few tense seconds pass as I wait for a
response. Somebody could be dying, or dead, or worse turned. Which just would
make my job harder. 

My men begin to jostle each other, even the green private has put away his
electronic toys and is checking over his tazer while muttering to himself.

"HQ online Lilac. Word is go, repeat word is go. Cutting power to dorms in
five. Good hunting, over," The radio blares in my ear.

"Acknowledged HQ. Lilac out," I stand up and motion the men to position
themselves by the doors. As soon as the power goes we'll go in, locate the
HST, isolate it, capture it and be out. Standard bag and grab. Done it a
hundred times. Routine.

The privates words from echo in my mind. 'Clocked at nearly forty miles per
hour. Vampire down in under a second. Forty miles...under a second... I
tighten my grip around the stock of my tazer. Nothing about this will be
routine.


"This is new territory gentlemen," I say. "Total unknown. Forrest, Parker
take point, Travis bring up the rear. Evens you're with me." I am not letting
you outta my sight greenboy.

"Head for the side entrance, we take the emergency stairs to the second
floor, hustle down the hall. Avoid all civilian contact, if you're spotted
what do you do?" I demand of the men.

"Ignore civies, aquire target, kick ass sir!" they say as one.

"Good answer," I grunt. "Let's move it."
***

"All those monsters are there for you?" I ask. I can feel the squeak in my
voice, but what if she cares more about the monsters more than me? She's
so...I dunno...brimming with oneness in the moonlight. I want to be there with
her so badly now. She won't leave me behind will she? No, she'd never do
that.

"Not really," Buffy says still looking up at the moon. "I just like saying
that. Its so rich though baby. Being out there like this, just..slipping past
and through and with it. God, its ...."

She breaks off and silently stands in front of the window, surrounded by a
pool of white light. Her shadow stretching across the floor and over me. I
hesitantly get to my feet and walk up behind her. I need to touch her, know
that I'm still allowed to touch her. I'm going to embrace her but its me who
wants the move comfort from it.

Don't leave me behind Buffy.

I wrap my arms around her waist linking my fingers, she leans back into my
embrace and rests her hands on top of mine. 

"They're there for you then," I mumble while kissing her shoulder. Her skin
has always been a little pale but in the moonlight its like milk. "What about
me then? Why am I here?"

She spins in my arms and kisses me softly. The kiss breaks off before long
and she's smiling at me. "Wrong question," Buffy whispers moving her lips to
my ear.

"What's the right question?" I whisper back.

"Why am I here?" she kisses the tip of my ear. 

"Why are you here then?"

Buffy pulls away, out of my embrace and climbs onto the windowsill again,
facing into the room, her legs bunched underneath her again. "For you love,"
she still smiles. "For you."

I let out a long sigh of relief. "You're not going to leave me then?" I ask.

"What?" Buffy asks more than a little shocked. "No, never Will."

"Will you," I swallow. "Will you tell me about it then? Share it with me so I
can know what its like and be there, in a small way, with you?"

She glances over her shoulder through the window before turning back to me
with a look of longing; she holds out her hands. "I can't tell you what its
like Willow. I just don't have the words," Her look becomes one of pleading.
"I can't tell you but if you come with me I can show you."


***

"In here?" I ask the private. Parker and Forrest are on either side of the
door, I'm across from it with the private beside me. I think his name is
Evens. The rest of the men are behind Parker and Forrest.

Evens checks his equipment one last time.

"Yes sir. Target confirmed, looks like whatever it is is trying to lure the
occupant of this room out the window,"

"Hey, what do we do about the civvie?" Forrest asks. 

"Standard policy," I reply. "They could have been compromised so we gotta
knock em' out and take em' in for testing. Restrained force though got me?"

Forrest nods. "Gotcha,"

I raise my leg to kick the door in. "Lets do it,"

***

			
I reach out to grasp Buffy's hands, to let her take me where she wants so she
can show me. My heart is singing. She's not going to just tell me about it,
she's going to show me! Show me! She's going to show me how she's...uh...night
Buffy? Ugh, sounds like a Bat-Man rip off. 

We're going to run, I know that and when I can't keep up she'll carry me and
I'll be there all the way, and all the time and oh yes, yes yes yes!!

Right before I can take her hands in mine, I can almost feel the warm,
strength of her palms gripping my hands, Buffy's eyes flicker over my shoulder
and she vanishes. 

"Buffy where did...?" I begin then in rapid sequence I hear the slight
whispering of movement over my head and the splintering of the door frame
behind me. When whoever, whatever, they are burst into the room Buffy is
standing there waiting for them. 

They don't have a chance. 

Before the first one can bring his..his..ray gun? To bear Buffy lashes out
with her left and sends him spinning; before he can fall though her arm blurs
and reverses direction so her elbow crashes into his head. He spins slowly in
place and slumps over.

Its been less than a second since Buffy leaped from the windowsill over my
head.

The other things silliouted in the door seem stunned by the fact that one of
their number has already fallen. 

I think I hear one of the mutter, "Holy cow."

I finally get a good look at the intruders. They're all wearing camoflauge
pants, vests, and some sort of masks with..hey I recognise those, night vision
goggles!

Throwing off their stupor the remaining ..soldiers..rush Buffy. One of them
points his ray gun at her and I give a short scream as a bolt of lightning
seems to arch arcross the room. He misses Buffy by the proverbial mile but it
still scared the hell out of me.

About five of these people have pushed through the door way now and they're
all rushing Buffy. One of them tries to swing his gun at her head like a club
while another goes for a leg sweep. She jumps over the one with the gun and
give his arm a gently push on her way over his head. His swing misses her but
connects with his buddy's leg. There's another wicked cracking sound and the
soldier who got hit falls to the ground screaming and cradling his injured
limb. 

That leaves four standing, the one who just bashed in his friends leg, and
three more near the ruined door of our room. Buffy lands lightly on all
floors. Her long hair hangs over her face so she's staring at the intruders
through her tangled locks. Is she..laughing?

She's laughing! This light, quiet giggle. Armed soldiers who look like some
rejects from Ghostbusters have just busted in our room, she's taken out twoof
them and she's laughing! 

The leader, cause he gives a few orders, waves the other two near the
doorway, they begin to ease around Buffy who doesn't move. She just keeps
laughing this eerie quiet laugh. As the soldiers flank her she occasioanlly
glances at the ones to her left and right but for the most part keeps her eyes
locked on the one in the doorway, the soldier who I, and I guess she too, has
identified as the leader. 

"Fry it," The words are said dry and quietly. The tone of someone who is used
to giving commands and expects them to be obeyed without hesitation. 

The instant the last syllable is out of his mouth the other soldiers bring
their weapons up.

Everything has happened so fast. I guess its been maybe ten seconds since
Buffy was perched on the windowsill. Ten seconds since she was asking, no
begging, me to go out with her too see...something. It was very important to
her and so important to me as well. Now we're under attack by men dressed up
like weekend warriors except they're anything but. Yes, they've got guns that
look like they're from a cracker jack box but the two foot long scorch markon
the wall says they're deadly serious. Now these goons have got Buffy encircled
and are going to try and shoot her? To blast her and, um..drag her
off..somewhere and ..and..do all sorts of her hideous experiments on her? Like
something out of X-Files or something? 

I don't think so. 

Before I can reconsider I jump up and try to dash by the soldier closest to
me. 

"Civvie's jetting!" he shouts.

"Intercept," The one by the door barks. In one brisk stride the soldier has
caught up with me and he's reaching out to ..grab me..manhanlde..beat me down
maybe but its too late. I'm where I want to be.

The light switch.

With a truimphant smirk I flip it. I'm expecting the lights to turn on, I'm
expecting shouts and curses from the soldiers as their night scopes go
blinding in the actually comfortable lighting of our dorm room. 

Nothing happens. 

They cut the power. 

The soldier coming at me sees what I tried to do and I know I'm in trouble.

"You trying to help this thing you stupid bitch?" He snarls at me. 

I squeak and eye the tip of his ray gun now an inch from the tip of my nose.

"Fucking traitor," The soldier snarls in my ear. 

I don't even see his hand move. One second I'm staring at the tip of his gun
and then everything is all red and stars and pain. 

And screaming. 

I think its Buffy screaming. A shrill, shining, climbing, shriek. Then
..there are other screams. Sounds a bit lower. Lower pitched like voices not
used to going so hight on the scream-o-meter. Cracking too. Lots of cracking.


I sniff.

No. Nobodys making popcorn so whats all the cracking and popping sounds?

The lights are off, the room is dark execpt for the bright spots swimming
around me. Somebody picks me up. 

Somebody is crying. 

'There, there. ' I say or want to say. 'There there.' I want to say, 'Its
okay, everything is okay.'

But I can't. The swirly bright spots are so pretty and they distract me. 

I can feel the wind, I can feel the wind and its so cool and soft. I can feel
someones arms holding me and they're so strong and warm and I can feel the
stars.

I can feel the stars. So light. So soft.

Falling from above, wet and hot and bright. 

Like tears.

It's dark and I know we're not in the dorm anymore. It's okay though, evenif
it's so dark its okay because I'm with Buffy. It may be dark but I have the
stars and the tears to guide me. 


END-Second Lesson

	


There is only one thing that can damn me.
That can send me down in a swirling maelstrom of fire and pain.
And it is not the word of Man.
And it is not the lessons and rules of the Church, hypocrites every one.
And it is not the words of God, nor the judgements of Angels.
And it not a fair tribunal of my 'peers' that can find me guilty of crimes
immortal.
No. 
I can only be accused, judged and damned by my own Soul.
And I would never be so betrayed.

Mad-Hamlet