Fwd: FIC: My Statements (spoilers for 'Entrophy')

["montevallo64" <montevallo64@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Oops, sorry about the previous post.


Disclaimers: Spoilery for all the way up to 'Entrophy'.
Summary: This is my take, a different ending of sorts to Entrophy, so
be warned a few things are changed around.
Notes: [ ] indicates thoughts. Hope you enjoy

My Statements

Pt.1


I love you. I don't think there is enough words, or air for that
matter, for me to ever get tired of saying that. I know you're
thinking that I have gone bonkers starting a letter with I love you,
but I do. It tears me up at night thinking of you, and the pain your
going through. But I don't wanna remind you of that pain so I'll move
on to a new subject. Speaking of subjects, I started writing this
during the middle of my AP class. I know what your thinking,
'Someone call the doctor! Willow is not paying attention in class.'
But you do that to me, make me feel as if I can do anything. That's
why I had to do it, the spell. I couldn't leave you like that, you
mean to much to me. So I hope you can forgive me for it.

Loving you,
Willow
****************************************************

I'm sorry. I know it isn't enough. I know it might never be
enough. But I want to try to make it up to you, because after
everything I don't think I could have made it without you. It will
never be the same I know, that's why I want to leave you alone for
awhile, to not be there constantly. Serving as giant flaming beacon
to your pain that I have caused.
Always,
Willow


Willow put the letters into the two envelopes, wearily sealing them.
[Can't believe that I don't have the guts to tell them face to face.]
Willow barely noticed the students rushing by her, as she put the
letters into the mail box. [They'll get them soon enough, and I'll
know if they can ever forgive me.]
***************************************

"Buffy! You have mail!" [Let's marvel at the new eight wonder of
the world!]
Dawn bounced into the kitchen, waving the letter madly throughout the
air.

"What is so special about a bill that you have to jump arond like a
chimpanzee?" Buffy continued to cut the vegetables for their dinner.

"It's not a bill."

"And ad?" Buffy added the newly diced vegetable to the lettuce.

"Nope. It's a letter." That gave Buffy pause.

"From G- where is the post mark from?" Dawn frowned, she knew Buffy
was upset about Giles leaving, but why would he write? Dawn
sometimes wondered, and not for the first time, at her sister's
intelligence.

"It's from Sunnydale." [Weird.] Buffy closed the oven door having
placed the tray of chicken inside.

"Who is it from?" Dawn checked the letter, but couldn't find a name
or any other clue on the outside.

"I don't know." [Well I might as well get this over with.] Dawn
handed over the letter.

[What?] The letter, was one of sorrow, expressed by Willow. [Why
would she be writing me a letter about her-]

"Who is it from Buffy?" Dawn had wandered into the kitchen , and was
now pouring herself a glasss of juice.

"It's from Willow. But I don't understand why she would send me a
letter."

"Gee, maybe it could be because you have been supercold to her
recently."

"I haven't been. I've been busy, working, the whole paycheck thing."

Dawn finished off her juice and placed the glass in the sink trying
to think of a way to get her point across to Buffy.

"Buffy you haven't, ever since we found out that you- that you
weren't whatever, the point is that she feels like she has brought
you into hell. That you don't want to be reminded of her-"

"Wait a minute. I was upset at first, but now I know what it is that
is different since I came back." Buffy went over to the stove and
set the timer for the chicken. [She thinks I hate her. That's what
Dawn and the letter mean.]

"Which is?"

"Dawn I- it's a personal thing." Dawn threw the towel to the floor

"Fine! Don't tell! It's not like I care or deserve to know, me
being your sister and all!"

"Dawn please don't turn this into a fight. It's complicated."

"Explain it then." Dawn walked over toward Buffy, pulling the
blonde's hand into her own.

"I love Willow."

"Duh! Tell me something new." Buffy picked up the towel Dawn had
thrown down.

"I love Willow, like Tara loves Willow." [And now for Scream-A-Thon
2002]

"Oh, Buffy!" Dawn threw her arms around her older sister.
***************************************

Tara closed the door to her dorm room, and not for the first time
wished that Willow would be waiting for her. Tara had walked over to
the Summer's house, gathering her courage to go and talk to Willow
about their relationship, but had left when she saw the window to
their room, her memories of her singing and the spell coming back
full force.Tara had run, away from the pain, the memories of her love
playing with her mind, away from the one thing that she wanted the
most.

Tara set the mail down on the kitchen top, checkin the answering
machine to see if anyone had called. [Maybe Dawnie wants to get
together, she is always so upset about being left alone.]

"Tara?" The blonde looked up, surprised by the voice outside her
door. "Tara are you in there?"

The wicca opened the door, allowing Anya to enter.

"What's wrong?" Anya paced nervously, upsetting Tara by her frantic
pace.

"I, D' Hoffryn offered me my powers back," Anya came to a sudden
halt. "and I accepted them."

Tara said nothing, wanting Anya to calm down. [Hopefully getting
eveyrthng off her chest will do that, or at least she will gain a bit
of perspective.]

"Today when you were at the coffee place with Willow I was trying to
get you to wish on Xander. I also tried to get Dawn and Buffy to do
it also." Anya wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "It
hurts. I just want it to stop, I don't want to hurt or hate Xander.
I love him so much! How could he do that to me?!"

"Sweetie it's okay. He was scared, Will's told me that- his parents
did an awful job of raising him. I don't think he meant to hurt
you." Tara looked to see if Anya was still listening. "You know how
you feel, but can you imagine how he feels? H-he hurt t-the person
he loved the most trying to p-protect them. You Anya, he was trying
to save you pain. Unfortunately he tried to late...." [I can't talk
about this, it's to close to what happened between Will...]

Anya stopped wiping the tears away.
"You think that he is in pain too?" Tara thoughts flashed to the
look Willow's face while they were in the sewers, when she had
discovered about the second spell.

"I know he is."


TBC if you guys want it.
-Will