FF: Rewrite Season 6, part 4 - Afterlife

["carrkjar" <carrkjar@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Afterlife
Season 6 Reset, part 4

Author: Frau Hunter Ash 

Copyright © 2002 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.
Email: carrkjar@xxxxxxxxx Feedback welcome!!
Homepage Addy: http://www.hunterash.com/ 

Acknowledgments: Note: Plot collaborated on by Hunter Ash and Dark 
Gremlin 
Suggestions from many people and many boards. A special "thank you" 
to them. 
Another special "Thank You" to Joan the English Chick 
(pisces@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) for her transcripts.  

Bargaining, Parts 1 and 2 written by Marti Noxon and David Fury
Afterlife written by Jane Espenson

Disclaimers: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon, Fox, 
Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. No harm intended.

F/F romance: the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship 
between people of the same gender and opposite gender. If this 
offends or is illegal for you, then please leave. Come back when you 
are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed your laws. 

Spoilers: In my universe here, Season 6 is happening again! Starting 
with Bargaining and taking off from there. Things will be different 
here.  

Rating: R, Pairings: W/T, X/An, B/S 

Summary: This isn't the episode or transcript though you'll find 
most parts are taken right from the episode. Some things are 
rearranged and there are some major differences as well. 
Buffy is back but Willow finds out that Buffy's soul wasn't 
where Willow feared it was and she has to deal with Buffy's 
resentment. Buffy, still in shock over returning, tries desperate 
measures to regain some feeling and get in touch with emotions.

* * *

Giles slowly followed Anya and Xander out of the Summers home, lost 
in thought as the couple chattered.  

"I think Willow is wrong," Anya declared. "I don't think Buffy's 
particularly normal at all."

"Well, she just got back," Xander pointed out. Give it time. I bet 
in a week she'll be our little Bufferin again."

Xander stopped, glancing around quickly. "What was that? Who's 
there?"

Spike stepped out of the shadows of the tree, looking disturbed.

"What are you doing out here?" Xander demanded. "I hope you're not 
going to start your little obsession up again now that she's back."

Spike started to grab Xander but then grabbed his own head. He 
glared at the three Scooby Gang.

"Hey!" Anya snapped.

"You didn't tell me!" Spike growled. "You brought her back and you 
didn't tell me!"

"Well," Xander growled back. "Now you know."

"I worked beside you for the last two and a half months!" Spike 
growled.

"We didn't tell Giles or Dawn either," Anya pointed out.

"And why is that, may I ask?" Giles snapped.

"We knew you'd stop us," Xander snapped back. "You're always holding 
back when it comes to magic. You don't trust Willow and Tara!"

"You have no idea the power you were playing with!" Giles shouted 
back.

"You're right," Xander growled. "I didn't but I'd do it again. 
Buffy's back and everyone is okay."

"You don't get it, do you, boy?" Spike smirked.

"What, toothless?" Xander snapped.

"That's the thing about magic, there's always consequences," Spike 
growled as he shoved past Anya and mounted the motorcycle he had 
stolen from one of the demons.

"I hope he falls on a stake soon," Xander muttered as they watched 
Spike ride away into the shadows.

* * *

Willow glanced into Buffy's room, noticing the Slayer standing in 
front of the dresser mirror, staring. The witch briefly debated 
whether to enter the bedroom and decided to back away quietly, 
returning to her and Tara's room.

"You okay, Will?" Tara, sitting on the bed, asked softly.

"Yeah, just exhausted," Willow nodded. "Kinda takes it out of you."

"Are you worried?" Tara asked gently.

"Worried?" Willow said, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "Tara, it 
worked fine. It's all good."

Tara patted Willow's side of the bed, encouraging her lover to join 
her.

"Hey, Will," she said slowly. "This is me. It doesn't all have to 
be 'good' and 'fine.' This is the room where you don't have to be 
brave. I still love you. If you're worried, you can be worried."

"Well," Willow said slowly, pulling her robe off and crawling into 
bed with Tara, letting the blonde witch draw Willow into her 
arms. "I'm not unworried. What happened, that was intense! And what 
happened to Buffy, that's gotta change you."

Tara reached up and turned the bedside lamp off and snuggled down 
with Willow.

"Buffy said that when&" Willow said slowly. "She said that when Angel 
came back he was wild, like and animal."

"Buffy's not like that," Tara pointed out.

"Yeah," Willow agreed.

"But?" Tara asked.

Willow pointed to her head. "It's kinda noisy up here tonight, you 
know?"

"Yeah, just try and let it go, lover," Tara urged, moving her hands 
to Willow's temples, massaging gently. "Does this make things 
quieter in there?"

"Yeah," Willow agreed, gently stroking Tara's hip.

"You know what I think?" Tara asked softly. "I think we all assumed 
crash positions."

"Huh?" Willow questioned.

"It's like&like we were all tensed up," Tara tried to explain. "Like 
we were expecting it to screw up. We weren't prepared for it to 
actually go right."

"Yeah," Willow agreed, looking at the ceiling.

After a few moments, Tara slowed her massage and stopped.

"Tara?"

"Yeah?" 

"If things did go right, wouldn't you think she'd be&happier?" Willow 
asked softly, her voice sounding small and vulnerable. "Like, 
wouldn't you think she'd be happy we brought her out?"

"Sure she is," Tara said unconvincingly.

* * *

Buffy looked at the pictures of her and the Scooby Gang taken over 
the years and with a sudden shout of rage, rammed her fist into one 
of the glass framed ones.  

"Why did you bring me back?" she hissed angrily at Willow's 
picture. "I was done!"

Buffy turned and looked around at her bedroom with a frown. Nothing 
had changed but everything had changed inside, she reflected.  

<"How long was I gone?" Buffy had asked.

"Two and a half months," Spike had answered calmly. "How long was it 
where you were?" he asked. 

Buffy hesitated, not meeting his eyes.

"Longer," Buffy had answered.>  

Buffy looked in the mirror again, her eyes not bothered by the 
darkness in the room. The Slayer looked the same, just like the day 
she died, she thought. Except the eyes, they were reflecting 
confusion and emptiness.

Buffy drew a fist back to smash the mirror but stopped. It would 
make noise, noise would bring Willow, Tara and Dawn running and they 
would be concerned and hovering.

She went to the familiar bed and sat down, still frowning. Buffy 
finally lay down and closed her eyes.

* * *

"Hmmm, sleepy," Willow muttered as Tara began nuzzling her neck 
affectionately. "More sleep."

Tara laughed softly in her ear, holding Willow close as sunlight 
streamed into the room.

"Okay, baby," Tara said softly. "I'm going to go downtown and help 
with the clean-up. They're asking for volunteers on the TV and radio."

"When did you become sunrise girl?" Willow complained.

"Sorry, couldn't sleep this morning," Tara smiled.

"What time is it?" Willow mumbled.

"10 a.m.," Tara answered, very pleased. Willow had gotten six hours 
of sleep without a nightmare.

"More sleep," Willow complained.  

"Okay, I'll be back later," Tara said softly, kissing Willow's 
neck. "Dawn is already downtown with Xander and Anya. Buffy's still 
asleep."

"Okay," Willow acknowledged, drifting back into sleep.

Tara was stunned to see the damage caused by the rampaging demons the 
night before. Only the outlying residential and industrial areas had 
been missed by the bikers. Shop windows had been broken and stores 
looted, some burned out. Cars were thrashed, windows broken, tires 
flattened and some had been driven over. A few had been burned as 
well, some still smoldering.

The blonde witch went to the park where the volunteer staging area 
had been set up and found Anya serving coffee to the volunteers. She 
walked up to the former vengeance demon.

"Hey, An," Tara said easily.

"Hi," Anya said with a smile. "Where's Willow and Buffy?" 

"Still sleeping," Tara said, taking a cup of much needed 
coffee. "That spell took a lot out of Willow."

"No kidding! Like snakes!" Anya snapped. "Dawn is helping sweep up 
the broken glass and Xander is helping board up store and home 
windows."

"What is everyone saying?" Tara asked softly.  

"That a bunch of drugged crazed bikers went bananas, nothing about 
how weird they looked or anything," Anya complained.

"The Hellmouth protects itself," Tara commented. It was something 
she had finally gotten an answer to after hooking up with Willow, it 
was something she had finally gotten an answer to as well as finding 
out the truth in the shadows. Tara had always sensed something was 
different about Sunnydale and knew that it was more than just your 
regular evil, this felt malevolently EVIL.  

Everyone seemed to know to get inside when it turned dark unless they 
were with a group but if you pointed it out to them, they looked at 
you like you were crazy. At first Tara had been amazed that the 
police didn't seem to piece things together. Vampires might collapse 
into dust when killed but other things weren't as tidy about their 
deaths. Demons had a tendency to leave body parts behind and 
werewolves reverted back to human form, leaving a human corpse to 
explain.

Willow explained that there was an atmosphere in Sunnydale that acted 
like a drug or something to the mundane citizens; they just didn't 
see the evil. Tara was very disturbed by that. She had always 
sensed something wrong and different, why didn't everyone else?

After a couple of months of fighting by Willow's side and falling to 
Glory's insane magic, Tara gave up trying to figure out the rest of 
Sunnydale. It was hard enough keeping up the fight, especially after 
losing her mind and barely getting it back, thanks to Glory.

"Any casualties?" Tara asked.

"Five women were killed," Anya said with a frown. "One by getting 
hit with a chain to the head, the others&the others weren't so lucky."

"Oh," Tara said softly, realizing other women had suffered what the 
demon named Razor had threatened them with, brutal rape and death.

"Seven men died and two kids are in the hospital," Anya continued.

"Damn," Tara whispered. "Any sign of Giles?"

"No," Anya shrugged. "He's probably at the Magic Box seeing if 
anything was damaged."

"Where can I help out?" 

"Go see Jason at the assignment table," Anya suggested.  

"Thanks, see you this evening at home?" Tara asked.

"Yeah, I'll drag Xan along," Anya smiled, continuing to serve coffee.

* * *

Willow opened her eyes with a moan. Her body felt like it had been 
through hell. Every muscle felt stiff and sore and she had a raging 
headache. The witch barely grabbed a Kleenex from her nightstand, 
when she sat up and felt the blood beginning to flow from her nose.  
She could also taste the blood in the back of her throat and so knew 
she had been bleeding in her sleep.

Willow stumbled out of bed and to the bathroom, bending over the 
toilet as her body rejected the swallowed blood.  

The witch hated throwing up and was a shaking mess after a few 
moments.  

"Willow?" 

Willow glanced up to find Buffy standing in the doorway of the 
bathroom, looking concerned.  

"Give me a minute, Buff," Willow asked and tried to compose herself 
as Buffy turned away from the door. She ran water over her face, 
brushed her teeth quickly and ran a hand through her hair.  

The red-head found Buffy sitting on the bed, looking around the room 
curiously.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Willow answered, a fresh tissue at her nose.  

Buffy didn't look convinced.

Willow sat down next to her.

"Honest, the spell last night and then using magic on the demons 
wiped me out," Willow tried to explain. "I didn't ground properly 
because we were interrupted and got chased by demons."

Buffy frowned and looked around the room again.

Willow shifted, uncomfortably.

"We&we told everyone you were visiting your dad in Europe," Willow 
said softly. "We didn't want the bad guys to know that&that&you 
know."

"That I was dead," Buffy said calmly.

"Well, yeah," Willow blushed.  

"Why, Will?" Buffy asked.

"Why what? Not tell everyone?" Willow frowned. "Dawn didn't want to 
go live with your dad. She wanted us to take care of her but we knew 
no court would let us, even in California. We're gay, college 
students, and too young, they'd figure."

"Why did you bring me back?" Buffy shook her head and asked softly.

"What?" Willow whispered, looking at Buffy with a very shocked 
face. "I&I saw you that night. I watched you&"

Buffy frowned. "I had to stop the portal."

"I know, either you or Dawn had to die and you chose yourself," 
Willow said, her eyes filling with tears. "I saw you dive into that 
portal, Buffy."

Willow suddenly got to her feet and walked over to her window, 
wincing slightly at the sunlight.

"I've seen that every night since," she said softly. "I wake up 
screaming as I watch you die. Every night, Buff."

The Slayer watched her friend, continuing to frown.

"We saw Glory and Doc work that damned spell or whatever and then 
open that portal," Willow continued. "I knew whatever could spawn 
that evil bitch wouldn't be nice to the Slayer and I had to get you 
out of there. I managed to get Tara's mind back to her that night 
but I couldn't save my best friend."

"It was my choice, Will," Buffy said softly. "It was my time and I 
accepted that."

"To suffer whatever that bitch could think of?" Willow snapped, 
keeping her back to Buffy. "It was either find a way to rescue you 
or find a way to join you."

Buffy's eyes widened in shock.

"What? You couldn't possible mean that!"

Willow turned to Buffy with a puzzled look.  

"Why not? I was seriously on my way to a breakdown and driving Tara 
and Dawn crazy along with me," Willow said bitterly.  

"But you took the responsibility of taking care of Dawn, holding the 
gang together and you have Tara," Buffy protested. "You couldn't 
think of giving up all of that for me!"

"Yes, I could," Willow smiled a sad smile. "I love you, Buffy. 
You're my best friend and more. When you died part of my soul died.  
Tara understood that, I think, that's why she agreed to try the 
ritual. The fight seemed like just a delay until we started dying one 
by one without you."

"Will," Buffy said slowly. "What did you do to get me back?"

"A major spell," Willow shrugged, turning back to the window. "You 
earned rest, Buffy. I couldn't take the thought of you being in some 
hellish dimension."

"I wasn't," Buffy said softly.

Willow turned, her face puzzled. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," Buffy said quickly. "I'm&it was like being ripped away and 
then it was dark and I couldn't breathe. I felt the cloth on the 
inside of the coffin lid and freaked."

Willow looked very pained.

"We didn't think the spell worked when the demons interrupted it," 
she said softly. "I'd never leave you there like that!"

Buffy tried to smile. "I know that. Guess I went a little insane 
myself and everything was so fuzzy. I saw demons everywhere, fire, 
people dying, and my own grave. Wigged me, kinda."

"I can understand that," Willow nodded, moving to sit next to Buffy.

"Then I saw you guys and I knew you couldn't be real because if you 
were real then that meant all of you had died and were in hell with 
me," Buffy whispered. "I couldn't accept that."

"Then you went into automatic Slayer mode when the demons attacked," 
Willow said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, and I ran away because all of you couldn't be real," Buffy 
explained. "Then Spike and Dawn found me and she talked me out it, I 
guess."

"Buffy?" Willow asked softly and waited until Buffy looked at 
her. "What aren't you telling me?"

Buffy averted her eyes until Willow lifted the Slayer's chin around 
to face her.

"It wasn't Hell, Will," Buffy admitted, her expression saddened. "I 
don't know if it was Heaven but it was peaceful and calm; I felt safe 
and loved."

Willow blinked rapidly.  

"What?"

"I wasn't being tortured, Will," Buffy said softly.

"Oh my God," Willow almost fell off the bed as Buffy glanced down at 
the floor, looking pained. "No, please, no."

"You didn't know, you couldn't know," Buffy said softly, looking at 
her healing fingers.

Willow stumbled off the bed and dashed for the bathroom, slamming the 
door behind her.

Buffy winced at the sound of Willow getting sick again.

"Will?" Buffy called from the door. She waited until she heard water 
running again and opened the door slowly.  

Willow looked worse than before. Buffy took the washcloth and gently 
wiped Willow's face and then led the witch to the bed.

The Slayer made Willow lie down before lying down next to her, 
wrapping her arms around Willow.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Willow whimpered, sobbing in Buffy's arms.

"You didn't know, Willow," Buffy said softly, feeling her heart 
easing into forgiveness for her friend. "I understand that. You 
look horrible. I never meant for anyone to hurt for me."

"Buffy, you're my best friend, of course we were hurting!" 

Buffy sighed. "How do we fix this?"

"You don't want to be here, do you?" Willow asked softly.

"I&I don't know," Buffy said honestly. "I don't know what I'm 
feeling. I'm not feeling anything at all, actually. I feel your pain 
but I don't know what I'm feeling."

"I pulled you out of a peaceful rest back to this nightmare called 
Sunnydale," Willow said bitterly.  

"I&I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I need some time, Willow. I'm 
going out for a while. I want you to rest today, okay?"

"Buffy, I thought&"

"You thought you were rescuing me for once," Buffy said softly, 
trying to smile.

"Yeah," Willow muttered.

Buffy smiled at her friend and got up quietly. She had already 
showered and dressed. Now, walking out into the bright sunlight, the 
Slayer was lost as to a destination.

The Slayer moved slowly through town, stopping to watch as the 
citizens cleaned up after the demon rampage. Somehow it reassured 
Buffy that things were "real" to her. The night before had been the 
stuff of nightmares, even for a Slayer.

Buffy spotted Dawn sweeping a sidewalk and stopped to watch for a 
moment. Buffy was puzzled by her own feelings as she watched her 
sister, or rather her lack of feelings. The Slayer turned away and 
headed through the park and into one of the many cemeteries.

Buffy sat down on a tombstone and pondered everything. It had been 
less than 24 hours since her return and she still didn't have a clue 
as to how she felt about it. Buffy frowned deeply. She had to admit 
she was less than happy about being back. Wherever she had been it 
was peaceful. No responsibilities, no terrors, no pain. No having 
to take care of Dawn, no more Slaying, no more getting beaten up, no 
more blood, no more saving the world.  

"Hello, Slayer," a voice interrupted her lack of thoughts.

Buffy turned to find Spike standing in the doorway of a crypt.

"You okay?" he asked, staying in the shadows.

"I don't know," she admitted.  

"Wanna come in?" he offered.

"Have you changed?" Buffy asked calmly.

"What? Changed?" Spike asked, obviously confused. "Not likely."

"Dawn seems older and Willow was hurting so bad," Buffy said absently.

"Yeah, well, her and Lil Bit took it the hardest," Spike nodded. 

Buffy stood up slowly and walked towards the tomb.  

"Do vampires feel?" she asked absently.

"What?" Spike looked at Buffy's blank face and drew her into the 
crypt, leading her to the lower level he kept hidden from 
everyone. "I think you need a drink."

"You said I treated you like a man," Buffy said thoughtfully. "Why?"

"Why what?" Spike demanded as he handed her a shot of 
tequila. "Because you treated me decent and trusted Dawn with me."

"You can't hurt her but you can kill demons, made sense," Buffy 
shrugged.

"Is that all it was? This bloody chip makes me safe?" he demanded.

"What else?" Buffy countered. "If you didn't have that chip you'd be 
trying to kill us. Right after getting out you tried to kill Willow."

"Yeah, well," Spike shrugged. "That's what a vamp does."

"Then why did you follow me around all the time and stand outside 
watching?" Buffy asked. "Do you think you feel something for me?"

Spike suddenly looked uncomfortable.  

"Well, of course not," he snapped. "I'm a monster, right, can't have 
feelings?"

"Am I a monster then?" Buffy asked, sitting down on the bed, not 
noticing Spike watching her closely, especially her flimsy top.

"What do you mean, pet?" he asked, moving to sit next to her.  
Normally, Buffy would backhand him at this point but this Buffy 
didn't seem to notice him invading her space.

"I can't feel anything," she whispered.

"That's normal after the shock you've had," Spike said gently, 
placing his arm around Buffy's shoulder and drawing closer when she 
didn't shrug him off.

"What's normal?" Buffy demanded.  

"It'll come back to you," Spike tried to reassure her.

"I want to feel something and don't know how," Buffy whimpered, 
leaning into Spike.  

"You'd better leave, Slayer," Spike suddenly growled, standing up.

"What, what's wrong?" Buffy asked moving up behind Spike and placing 
her hand on his shoulder.

Spike growled and spun quickly, throwing Buffy's hand off.  

"Get out of here, damnit!" he snapped. "You don't want to feel 
anything around me."

"Spike?" Buffy asked.

"Listen, Buff," Spike growled, holding Buffy's arms. "What do you 
want me to say? The truth? You've come back from grave and discovered 
you don't fit in with your friends? Is that what you want to hear?"

Buffy frowned.

"Why do you think you were drawn to Peaches," Spike 
demanded. "Slayers are drawn to vampires, it's natural. Each Slayer 
is mostly darkness, you have to be to fight us."

"Dracula said the same thing but it wasn't true," Buffy pondered, not 
noticing Spike drawing her closer. "Slayers are the counter to the 
darkness."

"That's why you fight vampires and shag them," Spike smirked.  

"No, only Angel, he was different," Buffy protested.

"What about Dracula?" Spike countered. "Don't tell me he was all 
talk."

"I don't remember," Buffy frowned.

"What about me?" Spike asked, his voice husky as Buffy looked into 
his eyes, confused.

"What about you? I can't feel anything and you want me to feel 
something for you?" she demanded, suddenly angry, the first sign of 
emotion since leaving Willow's side.

Spike grabbed Buffy, kissing her roughly and desperately.

Buffy broke off the kiss and backhanded Spike, sending his head 
rocking backwards. The vampire, reacting instinctively, snapped back 
with a backhand of his own, sending Buffy back onto the bed.  

Buffy sat up quickly as Spike stood stunned.  

"What?" Buffy questioned.

"No pain," he muttered and then grinned. "Well, well. Looks like 
something did go wrong with that spell, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Buffy whispered.

"No pain, I can hit you, I can hurt you," Spike grinned evilly. "That 
means you came back wrong, luv. You're not human."

* * *

Tara decided to grab Dawn and head home for a late lunch, early 
dinner. They waited patiently for pizza in the crowded food joint.  
It seemed like every fast food place was exceptionally crowded, all 
of Sunnydale seemingly deciding to eat out.

Tara and Dawn knew that a lot of them were the volunteers and city 
workers that had been working all day at repairing the city as quick 
as possible. Now they were tired, hungry and didn't want to cook.  
Just like Tara and Dawn.
Dawn looked around, suddenly curious.  

"What is it, Dawnie?" Tara asked.

"Why didn't those demons trash this place?" the teenager asked softly.

"I don't know, maybe they wanted someone to cook for them," Tara 
pondered. "Another Sunnydale mystery?"

Dawn laughed and shrugged, dismissing the curiosity. 

Tara had spent the day holding pieces of plywood in place over store 
fronts, glass doors, and windows while someone nailed the boards into 
place. Sometimes it was Xander, sometimes one of his crew, other 
times it was just someone with a hammer and nails. Tara was tired, 
felt grimy and had splinters in her hands.

Dawn was chatting about all the people she had met and how much 
damage had been done to the city. Tara smiled patiently. Willow 
hadn't shown up all day and Tara was a little worried about her 
girlfriend and Buffy. Dawn was so excited with Buffy being back and 
the excitement from the night before that she barely noticed Tara's 
silence. Dawn told her about watching out the basement window as 
Spike took out several demons getting too close to the house.

Finally, their pizza was ready and they quickly made the short walk 
home. Tara was grateful to reach home even though it wasn't dark 
yet. Like most Sunnydale residents, Tara wanted to be inside when it 
got dark unless she had a trusty stake, cross and holy water.

Tara was concerned when she didn't find Buffy or Willow downstairs.  
The blonde witch sent Dawn into the kitchen to pull down paper plates 
and napkins as she trotted up the stairs.

Tara hesitated at the door to their room. She could hear Willow 
crying and walked in quietly. Tara found Willow in the darkened room 
sitting on the bed with her back against the headboard, arms wrapped 
around her drawn up knees.

"Willow?" Tara asked, rushing over to the bed. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Buffy," Willow whimpered, letting Tara hold her. "She&she&told me&
Buffy wasn't being tormented. She&she&was at&peace. She doesn't&want&
to be here."

"What? She wasn't&? Oh my God," Tara said softly as it dawned on Tara 
what her lover meant. She tightened her hold around her lover.  

"She'll&she'll never forgive me!" Willow sobbed.

"Yes, she will," Tara said softly. "She's back with friends, she's 
back with Dawn. Buffy will be okay."

Tara softly cursed the sound of the doorbell and Dawn running to 
answer it.

"Willow, Giles is here for you!" Dawn shouted up.

"Let me tell him later," Tara insisted. "You're in no shape to take 
his scolding right now."

"No, may as well get it over with," Willow said, her voice forlorn.  
Tara frowned, Willow sounded so hopeless, even worse than after 
Buffy's death. Before last night, Willow had the hope of finding an 
answer, now that answer was turning out to be a nightmare.

Tara watched as Willow walked out into the hall and quickly jumped up 
to follow her.

* * *

Buffy was still stunned by Spike's words and didn't react fast enough 
when the vampire launched himself across the room, taking her down 
onto the bed. Buffy growled and rammed her elbow into his nose and 
Spike growled back, attempting to hold her down. The Slayer got a 
leg under his stomach and shoved Spike off her and dashed for the 
ladder leading up.

Buffy yelped when Spike grabbed her by the shirt, trying to yank her 
back but instead ripping the shirt off of her, leaving a flimsy 
undershirt. She spun, backhanding the vampire. The Slayer followed 
up with a kick to his chest. Buffy launched herself at him, caught 
up in the fight.  

Spike laughed and hit Buffy with a right cross as Buffy landed on top 
of him. He quickly rolled them over, once again trying to get an 
advantage. Buffy snapped her hands up under his chin. If Spike had 
been human, he would have lost his head, literally.  

Buffy and the vampire squared off with each other again, exchanging 
blows and neither gaining an advantage until the Slayer tripped over 
a chair and Spike grabbed her, throwing Buffy against the wall.

Spike grinned. "Feeling anything now, Slayer?"

Buffy moaned, feeling the rush of the fight spreading over her and 
Spike's body against her. Instead of hitting him, Buffy grabbed 
either side of his head and pulled him to her, kissing him 
desperately.  

Spike whimpered, holding Buffy up against the wall as her tongue 
fought with him and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Buffy pulled back, looking deep into the vampire's eyes.  

"Make me feel something," she begged.

Spike kissed her again, his hand moving down to rip the shirt away 
from her body. Buffy cried out as the vampire moved his head down, 
taking a nipple roughly in between his teeth as Buffy's body jerked 
against him.

"Spike!" Buffy begged and the vampire moved both of them to the bed.  
His lips moving to Buffy's neck as her hands struggled with his belt.

"I'll make you feel, Buffy," Spike growled as he moved down Buffy's 
body.

* * *

Willow sighed and ran a towel over her face. Her eyes were red and 
swollen and the dark circles under them were darker. She also 
noticed her hands were shaking badly. The Willow she saw in the 
mirror reminded the witch of the shy, insecure, geeky research freak 
from high school.

The red-haired witch tried to pull herself together as she walked out 
of the hall bathroom and down the stairs to face her mentor, father 
figure and one time crush.

Giles was sitting at the table, eating pizza with Tara and Dawn, his 
face unreadable when he glanced up and saw Willow.

"Come join us, Willow," he said easily. "You haven't been eating 
right for some time now."

Willow didn't think she'd ever eat again. She had rescued her best 
friend from an eternity of torment only to find she had ripped Buffy 
out of a peaceful ending. Maybe the only chance the Slayer would get 
for a blessed ending.

Willow turned and dashed for the downstairs bathroom, slamming the 
door behind her.

"I told you how upset she is!" she heard Tara hissing outside the 
door.

"I didn't say anything!" Giles' voice protested. "I think we can all 
get through this. It's done and Buffy's back. She'll come around. 
Right now we need to keep both of them healthy until their emotions 
are a little more stable."

"You sound like a shrink," Dawn's voice complained as Willow dry 
heaved into the toilet.  

"Yes, well," Giles stammered and Willow could picture him cleaning 
his glasses. "Watchers do need a bit of that occasionally. Buffy's 
in shock and so is Willow. Neither of them anticipated this outcome."

"Giles, think you could talk down a few levels?" Dawn snapped.

"Willow thought she was doing the ultimate kindness in rescuing 
Buffy's soul," Giles said slowly. "Now she's found out that Buffy was 
at peace and isn't while Buffy is here. I'm not sure about Buffy but 
from what Willow said to Tara, she might be feeling a little 
resentful."

"Why?" Dawn demanded. "Wouldn't she want to be with us? With me? It's 
my fault again, isn't it? Because I'm not 'really' her sister! She 
doesn't want me!"

"Dawnie!" Tara said firmly. "Stop that! It just means that Buffy is 
in shock. Give her a little bit to remember how much she enjoyed 
living and how much she loves all of us, especially you."

A moment later a knocked sounded on the bathroom door.

"Willow? Come on, baby," Tara called gently. "You've got to try and 
eat. Giles promises not to discuss anything until tomorrow."

Willow rinsed her mouth out and opened the door slowly, not looking 
up at her mate or mentor.

The witch was surprised when strong masculine arms pulled her into a 
hug.

"I know why you did it, Willow," Giles said softly. "You are much 
braver than me. Now we just have to make sure nothing negative comes 
of it. Remember there's always a price and a balance."

"I know," Willow nodded, hugging him back.  

"Let's eat some pizza," he suggested.

"Where's Buffy?" Dawn demanded.

"Probably walking or patrolling, out of habit," Giles suggested. "It 
is a lot to take in and get through. Give her time."

The group headed back towards their pizza, not realizing patrolling 
was the last thing on Buffy's mind at that moment.