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DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Grrr, argh.

AUTHOR?S NOTES: The more feedback I get the more I?ll post?.nuff said. flashbacks are enclosed in { }

"Jesse!" Willow scolded. "If I didn't know any better, I'dsay you were taking procrastination lessons from?"

"Okay, okay. Look, Willow, it's a bit more complicated than asking 'am I or aren't I?'. I mean, there are a lot of ways to define 'dead'."

"Papa! Just spit it out already!" Laurel was sitting on the couch in Giles' apartment. She and Faith had stopped by to tell him about Buffy's change of heart and he surprised them with some news of his own.

"Come on, G-man." Faith was pacing in front of the couch.

"Faith, has it ever struck you as, um, curious that you're my age when you came to Sunnydale and you still insist on calling me, ah, G-man?"

"That's just who you are, G. And I wouldn't be me if I didn't call you that." She winked at him. "Now quit stalling and tell us what you found out about the spell Red did."

Giles smiled at Faith's sentiment and cleared his throat. "Yes, well. There are a lot of ways to define dead. It's fascinating really. Some people can refer to themselves as dead meaning, inside, void of emotion. Others such as vampires are referred to as 'undead' meaning they're dead but their bodies are still animated."

Faith sat down on the couch next to her. "Quit scaring the kid, Giles. Get to the part about Red already."

"Yes, well. The spell that Willow attempted seems to have been, um, successful to a degree."

Faith looked up at Giles and gave him a look of warning, then turned to Laurel. "It's not important right now. What's important is getting everything out of Giles." She turned her attention back to him. "Which is like pulling teeth sometimes."

"Yes, well." Giles reached for hiscane and got out of his chair. Hewalked over to the bookshelf. "Thisbrings us to volume seven of the Garzian texts. Faith, if you remember correctly, this is the volume that Xander, uh, liberated from my collection before he took his station."

"Yeah, I remember."

"So I was looking though the translation of the spell and it seems to me that she got it right to a point. Shewas researching the biological and magical ramifications of being Immortal. She was attempting to find out how it was that her cells and Buffy's stopped replicating. To do this, she had to focus a lot of magickal energy into herself. This could have adversely affected the cells and begun the reversing process of immortality."

"Wait. She can die? Like anyone else?" Laurel was confused. "It can't be. The Powers That Be gave them immortality."

Giles tried to explain it to her. "Laurel. You have to understand. . ."

"No, Papa. Did she lie? Cause youknow mom and Faith were on patrol last week and this wicked fang gang came outtano where and mom got hurt real bad and she was bleeding and everything but shesaid she was okay cause she was immortal and that nothing could kill her and. . ."

"Laurel, breathe." Faith placed her hand on Laurel's shoulder. "I'll be damned if I you didn't just channel your mother."

Laurel smiled. "Thanks." She turned to Giles. "Papa. . ."

"Yes, well. Willow, as I said, was researching the cause of the immortality in she and Buffy. She could have possibly focused entirely too much magick on the taskof replicating cells again. When she was immortal, the cells never died, therefore none of them were able to replicate. Buffy and Willow have both been immortal for almost twenty years now. The sudden biological change back to replicating was too much and she just. . .blew up into millions of pieces." He paused a moment so they could digest the information. "That's not to say that she's dead. It could simply mean that she's, um, in pieces and hasn't figured out a way to bring herself together again."

"But, Papa, that still doesn't explain why she was doing the spell in the first place."

"She was trying to recreate the conditions under which she and Buffy became immortal, Laurel."

"Giles!" Faith interrupted. She looked at her watch. "I think we'd better get back or you're mom's gonna have the whole town looking for us, kid. We'll finish this another time."

Laurel shook her head. "No. Why won't you tell me? What's the big secret, Faith? What was mom trying to do?"

Giles sat down next to her and took her hand. "Laurel, I can't and neither can Faith. This is simply something your mother must explain to you. It's not our place. As if she weren't furious enough with me for helping Willow with the spell, I simply couldn't jeopardize her being angry at me for something else. I hope you can understand."

Laurel was about to protest, but she knew he was right. She'd been talking to Buffy for six months about forgiving Giles. While she still refused to do it, she'd finally gotten Buffy to agree on being inthe same room with him and she wasn't about to let all her hard work go to waste. "Alright, Papa. I understand." She hugged him. "I don't like it, but I understand."

"Hey, don't get all snippy with me young lady. I'm only trying to help. You brought me here after all." Jesse feigned a pout.

"How did I bring you here? And where is here exactly? And you still haven't answered my dead question. Iswear, I thought Angel was the king of cryptic." Willow shook her head.

"Tell me about your daughter, Will."

"Jesse, no changing subjects!"

"Trust me, I'm asking for a reason." He smiled.

"Well, okay." They started walking again and Willow began to smile. "Laurel. Laurel is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. Well, besides Buffy of course. She's just. . .I don't know how to explain it. She's the best of Buffy and I wrapped up in a whole other person. She's athletic and willful the way Buffy is, she has a knack for computers and school work the way I do. She's my height and she has my red hair and deep green eyes, but her personality is almost all Buffy through and through. She babbles when she gets upset or nervous and if she's mad you'd better watch out. . ." Willow giggled. "She definitely has Buffy's temper."

"She's fiercely overprotective with anyone she cares about. Any time Buffy disagreed with Giles over something or said something that Laurel thought was an insult, she'd jump to his defense. It took us a long time to explain to her that that's just the way Buffy's and Giles' relationship works. He tells her what to do, she disagrees, and they argue." She shrugged. "It's tough when Buffy and Laurel disagree on something though. Those two are so pig headed sometimes."

"Well, if I remember correctly, you have quite a stubborn streak yourself, Will."

She couldn't disagree. "Yeah, I do. Especially when it comesto the people I love. I'd even risk my?" She stopped in her tracks and looked at him in shock. She was beginning to remember. Everything came rushing back at once and thousands of images flashed in her mind.

{{{"Giles, it can't be! I won't let it happen. Ever!"

"Willow, I'm sorry but all signs point to it being the case. I wish there were something I could do."

"There has to be something!" Willow slammed the book closed on the desk, which caused Faith to wake up from her nap on the couch.

"What's up, Red?" Faith sat up and rubbed the sleepfrom her eyes.

"Tell him it's not possible." She pointed to Giles. "These books and prophesies and vampires and demons. I can't take it anymore, and I'll be damned if *my* daughter is going to be forced into it the way you and Buffy were."

"Giles, what's got her all worked up in a lather?" Faith got off the couch and stretched. "What's the evil of the week and when do we kill it?"

"I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, Faith. There's a prophesy I've been researching for some time. It tells of the coming of the final Chosen One, the last Slayer. She is to give her life in the final battle of good versus evil."

Faith put two and two together and finally caught on. "No. No way." She shook her head and walked up to Giles. "Not the kid. There's no way in hell I'll allow that. Patrolling with us is one thing, she has a choice, but. . ."

"It doesn't seem as though any ofus has a choice." Giles took his glasses off and walked over to the phone. "I'll call the Council and find out where the current Slayer is located. If I remember correctly, we sent her to Europe to dispatch of an unruly group of fire demons who were taking pleasure in torching the local shrubbery."

"If I loose her, I don't know. . ." Willow stopped herself. Following that thought could only cause heartache.

"Hey, no talk like that, Red. We'll find away to stop it."}}}

Willow blinked back the tears that were falling silently down her cheeks and all Jesse could do is look on and let it happen; let her remember every detail. She felt the terror and the panic of finding out her daughter was going to be the next Slayer all over again as if it were the first time. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself, but more memories began to flood her mind.

{{{"Willow, you must listen to reason."

"No, Giles. I have to do this. I found the spell and the meditation in the Garzian text Xander took. It's not that hard really. All I have to do is focus my magic inward and figure out what makes me immortal. I know my cells stopped replicating, you know, cause they don't die anymore, I just need to find the cause. No big."

"I don't think you realize the possible consequences of this. I insist on researching it more before you put your life in danger. Buffy would never forgive me if?"

"Buffy's not going to find out, Giles." Willow stated as a very matter of fact. "Ever, if I can help it. Is that understood?"

"It's to save my daughter's life, Giles, and Buffy's. If there's any way I can stop this, well, I'll use my last breath to do it if I have to."

"Willow, please tell me you haven't already attempted the meditation." From the look on her face, Giles knew she had. He was at his wits end. There wasn't anything he could say to change her mind. The only thing left now was to work with her and make sure she didn't get hurt or worse. "Alright, fine, if you insist on doing this then at least allow me to assist you."

She thought for a moment then nodded her head in agreement.

"Buffy, is Willow there?" Giles had made plans with Willow to do more research on the spell. They agreed to meet at his house while Buffy and Faith were on patrol and Laurel was off with some friends. That was over two hours ago.

"I really hate it when you say that, Giles. It only means trouble. What's going on?"

"Well, I ah, made plans with her to go over, some um, information and. . ."

"Giles! Just. . .stop stalling and tell me what's going on."

Xander appeared out of no where. "Giles. . .trouble. . .Willow. Breaker's woods!"

"Xander!" He had to grab onto the table because the sudden flash of light startled him.

"No time, G-man. Let's go."

Giles returned to the conversation with Buffy. "Buffy. . ."

"I heard. I'm on my way. You two *so* have some explaining to do." Buffy hung up the phone.

"Yes, alright." The watcher sighedand hung up the phone. He grabbed his keys from the table and turned to Xander.

Xander shook his head. "Nope, sorry Giles. No time to drive. We're taking my transportation system." He grabbed Giles around the waist and gave him a goofy grin. "Trust me, I don't like this any more than you do, but it's the onlyway to get you there in one piece. Hang on." He put his head back and they disappeared ina flash of white light.

Xander and Giles reappeared in a clearing. "Where is she?" Gilessaid, looking around.

"Over there." Xander pointed to another clearing about fifty feet away. There was a warm light breaking through the trees. "Damn. I must have overshot."

----------

Willow Rosenberg was on a journey. A journey unlike any she'd ever been on before. She was deep in meditation and focusing all of her energy on the biological system that made her breathe, made her blood flow, her hair get longer and more importantly, the cells that gave her life. The cells that stopped replicating when she and Buffy were struck by the bolt of lightening in England and rendered them immortal. She was determined to find out how it worked, why and if she could do the process herself to save her daughter's life.

Willow reasoned that if Laurel could become Immortal, then she'd never be called as a Slayer. She knew enough about her immortality and the Powers That Be to know that they would never allow two Immortal Slayer's to exist. Time was running out and the research sessions with Giles only reinforced her theory. They found out that at any given time, there are only a certain number of immortals walking the earth and the balance was in direct correlation with the amount of evil that existed. An immortal Slayer would throw off the balance and therefore, Laurel would be passed up and the next Slayer would be called.

Willow looked around with her mind's eye. This was almost familiar territory. The last time she attempted something like this, it was when she and Buffy had to fight the demon King Arthur. The only difference was that now she was taking a trip into her body, not her mind.

She could see the intricate network of her veins and hear the blood pumping through them. <Not close enough.> She thought. <Need to get smaller.> She focused and after a few moments she was down to the cellular level. She looked around and immediately noticed that they didn't look like anything she'd ever seen under a microscope.

Each cell had a yellow/gold protective film on it. It was almost as if they were sprayed with glow in the dark paint. Their movement was graceful and fluid, but she also noticed that they followed a traffic pattern. No new cells broke into the line and none of the existing cells faded away. It was just as she'd suspected, they stopped generating.

Her idea was simple. Get close enough to them to find out what the yellow/gold film was made out of. If she could do that, then there had to be a way for her to do the process on Laurel herself. She began to concentrate again and slowly moved closer and closer to the cells. The answer she was looking for was just within her reach. All she had to do was reverse the process of immortality and then be there to cause them to take on the film again.

She'd done enough research to know that it would take a lot of concentrated magick along with the potion she made and drank before she started meditating. There was only a small window of opportunity to do this and get it right, she just hoped that it would work. This would be her one and only chance.

Something was wrong, horribly wrong. The cells weren't going back to immortal fast enough. It was taking too much time and Willow knew that if she stayed too long she may never make it back. That just wouldn't do. She had to make it back for Laurel, and for Buffy. She concentrated even harder and the cells began to take on the yellow/gold color again, only it was as if someone pushed the fast forward button on her internal VCR. It was going so fast that she lost control and instead of retaining the color, the cells went beyond the yellow into a bright blinding white and suddenly there was a flash as every cell in her body exploded outward like shards of glass when a bullet goes through a windowpane. Willow's world went black.}}}

The girl looked up just in time to see a vampire headed right for her. She ducked and tripped him, sending him flying into the mausoleum wall. He got his balance quickly and charged her again.

"You dead guys sure don't know when to quit." She pulled a stake out of her jacket and hit him with a right hook. He was stunned momentarily and she grabbed him by his shirt. "Someone needs to teach you that dead," She pulled the stake back and rammed it though his chest, "Means dead." He dissolved into dust.

She sauntered over to where Faith was sitting in the grass. "Two for two." She put her hand down to help her up. "I'd say I'm on a roll. Wouldn't you?"

Faith glared at her. "Don't get all cocky on me, kid. I'm a little offmy game tonight."

"A little? You're getting sloppy in your old age, *auntie* Faith."

"Go ahead little girl, gloat now. We'll see who's sore in the morning now won't we?"

Laurel smiled at her but didn't answer. The truth was, she hadn't been sore after patrol in a long time. Maybe even for the past year. She just kind of got into a groove where slaying was concerned and she didn't question it, or the other two Slayers. Since her mother's death, she'd been testing her limits and found out that not only could she keep up with Faithand Buffy, but she could excel far beyond what they were capable of. She silently figured out that she, being the daughter of two immortals and one being a Slayer, had attained Slayer powers herself.

The two of them walked into the house and Faith called out for Buffy. "Yo, B! You around?"

Buffy emerged from the kitchen with a tray full of food for the two of them. "'Yo, B?'" Buffy shook her head and set the tray on the coffee table. "One wouldthink you've reverted back to your teen years, Faith."

She flopped down onthe couch and took a giant bite of the sandwich she'd just picked up. "And who's to say I ever left 'em?"

"Not bad. It was kinda slow, actually. You think something might be brewin?" She quirked her eyebrow up and took a healthy bite of the sandwich.

"No, I don't think so." Faith answered. "Just to double check, I'll stop by G's tomorrow."

"Laurel, why don't you head upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll be up in a few."

She was about to protest,but Buffy's _expression_ told her to just do as she was told. "Um, okay." She bound up the stairs, leaving Faith and Buffy alone.

Buffy turned to her when she heard the shower go on. "So how'd it *really* go tonight."

Faith rolled her eyes. "We didn't stop by Giles' if that's what you mean. We patrolled for two hours beforewe saw any real action. Two fangs in a row and we were on our way home."

"How much action did Laurel see?" Buffy went though this every time Laurel and Faith went on patrol. They'd formed a very strong bond right from the day she was born, it was if they were sisters, and Buffy had to play mother to both of them. She waited a few moments then tried again. "Faith. . "

"Both. She got both. No problem. She was great, Buffy. And no, she didn't give me attitude. Seems like you're the only one she gives it to." Faith sat back and looked at Buffy. Really looked at her. "Have you even slept more than two hours at a time in the past six months, B? Keep this up and. . ."

"And what?" She rose to her feet and glared at the Dark Slayer. "I'll die? Cause you know, that sounds like a really good prospect right now, *F*." She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to keep some kind of composure. "What's the use anymore. . .I mean really? Will's gone, Xander's off doing his job more than half the year, I'm not even speaking to Giles and I don't know ifI ever will and Laurel. . .Laurel tells you more than she tells me. She confides in you and trusts you and looks to you for advice. Andwhen Will was here, she. . .she was the one that put the band-aids on the bruises and chased the monsters out from under the bed. What good am I anymore?"

Faith rose and looked her in the eye, angrily. "You're no good to anyone, Buff, not like this. Not fallin apart at the seams and lookin' like you're gonna collapse any minute! What the hell happened to 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'? Where is she cause I'll tell ya somethin', B, she sure ain't standing here."

"You don't know! You don't understand how. . ."

"No I don't understand. No one does. Since Red. . .since Willow's been gone you're just closed up to everyone, especially your daughter. She told me. . .told me she walked in on you and Xander talking. She said she was happy that you could open up, even if you were badmouthing her grandfather and. . ."

Buffy's anger flared. "He's *not* her grandfather." She turned around. "He's not anything to anyone." She bit out.

Faith turned her around forcibly and held onto her arms. "He's all you ever had. . .all any of us ever had, B, and you know it! God, you're pathetic." She let Buffy go and shook her head. "That's not even what this is about. Is it?"

Buffy wiped hot tears away from her eyes. "Then tell me, oh wise one, what exactly is this all about?"

"It's all about you. . .as usual. Willow's gone. She's not here to pick up your pieces anymore or hold this family together. She's gone, B, and you can't see straight. I'll tell you something, you either get your act in gear or you're gonna loose that kid," She pointed to the stairs. "She's gonna turn on you so fast your head will spin."

"I'll tell you." Faith said evenly. "Cause I was there. My father died when I was eight and my mother slowly got sucked into herself day by day and month by month. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she couldn't function after a while and *I* had to take care of her. She lost him and it was like. . .like she fell into this deep dark pit that not even I could pull her out of." Faith paused, trying to collect her thoughts. She didn't expect for all of this to come rushing out. . .especially now. But she was too far gone to stop it, or to even care. "She resented me, said she hated me, hated my face 'cause it reminded her of him. Do you have any idea what that's like? To have your mother tell you to get out because she couldn't stand to look at you anymore? I was eleven years old, B, eleven." Faith wiped her own tears away and took a deep breath. "You gotta come to peace with this, Buffy. If not for yourself, then for you daughter." She stepped closer to Buffy, who still looked at her defiantly. "Say it."

"Say what?" Suddenly, it dawned on Buffy whatFaith was trying to do. "No. I won't. I won't ever say it."

Faith grabbed her arms. "Say it, B. Willow's dead. She's not coming back. Say it!" Each word was punctuated by a slight shake. "Willow's dead. She's not coming back!"

Buffy broke from her grip and struck her square in the jaw with all her strength. "No!"

Faith grinned at her menacingly. "That all you got, Slayer? I know a fungus demon that punches better than *that*." She slugged her back with as much, if not more, force. "Willow's not coming back, B. Face it!"

Buffy snapped. She started wildly throwing punches at Faith's face, "No! I won't say it! I won't! She's not dead, she's not!" She tried to land a roundhouse kick but misjudged and broke the coffee table in half as her foot came back around. This only angered her more and she stepped up the pace of her attack. Every punch she threw, Faith countered it and sucker punched her, taunting her, forcing her to bring it on even more. "Willow's not gone. . .she's not. . .Willow's not gone, Willow's not gone. . .Willow's. . .oh, God." She collapsed against Faith and began to sob uncontrollably. "She's gone, Faith. . .Oh, Will. . ."

The Dark Slayer caught Buffy easily and slid them both to the ground safely, kicking the remnants of the coffee table out of the way. She held onto her tightly, stroking her blonde hair soothingly. The tears continued to stream down her own face, silently. "I know, B. I know."

When Laurel was satisfied that everything was alright down in the living room, well, everything except for the poor coffee table. . .she silently crept to her room and closed the door. The last thought she had before she drifted off to sleep was that maybe, just maybe, Buffy had a chance at healing finally.

"You alright now?" Faith whispered. They were still on the floor of the living room and she couldn't even begin to imagine how long they'd been there. Both she and Buffy had thoroughly cried their eyes out, and hadn't said a word since.

"Yeah." Buffy responded. Her voice was hoarse from crying and her eyes bloodshot. She looked up at Faith and gave her a little squeeze. "I never knew. . .about your parents." Faith merely nodded. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything to be sorry for. Itwasn't your fault." She whispered.

"It wasn't yours either." She shifted slightly so that she was able to see Faith's reaction. "You know that. Right?"

Faith closed her eyes and sighed. "I know. Now I know, but then,"She shrugged. "Back then was a whole different story."

Buffy understood. She'd been turning everything around and around in her brain since they'd been sitting there. What Faith revealed about her parents explained a lot of her behavior and her bad ass attitude when she first gotto Sunnydale. She saw the same attitude in Laurel occasionally and it frightened her. It frightened her not that Laurelcould be like Faith, no, what scared her was that she was capable of hurting Laurel the way Faith's mother hurt her. That she had the power to make or break who she was, or more importantly, what kind of person she grew up to be.

Buffy reached up and touched Faith's cheek to get her attention. The Dark Slayer looked down, and a tear fell from her eye. Faith could live to be a hundred years old, her eyes still betrayed her. They had an intensity and 'age' that always exceeded her years, like she'd seen too much too soon and her body was always fighting to catch up to everything her eyes had seen. "You knew. Everyone knew, but only you'd go toe to toe with me."

Faith nodded almost imperceptibly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself or to Laurel. It's no way to live. For either one of you." She smiled. "Besides, even being immortal, Xander woulda walked away with a few bumps and bruises. This was a Slayer thing."

Buffy nodded in agreement. She looked up at Faith again after a few moments. "I love you, you know. Maybe not in the way I---"

"Don't." Faith shook her head. "Don't drag up the past."

Buffy sat up and shook her head. "I'm not. I'm thinking about the future." She leaned in and kissed her gently.

~~Kimber
List Gutter Lust Goddess, Masked Road Runner (meep, meep!!), Keeper of the crazylil comma, Slayer of the Mad Dragon's Heart, Elmer to Pat's Wabbit, self proclaimed 'perfect drug' addict, and Official Tormenter of the Phantom Chimpunk and her band of crazy nuts. Proud supporter of the Mad Poet Society and the Troll under the Bridge.

Proud Member of the BtVS Writers Guild: Because fic makes anything possible.

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