"Help" review, and disclaimers-A-Go-Go!

[danspector@xxxxxxxxx]

Hi there!

Below is the link to my latest seven-hours-in-the-making,
I-so-need-a-life, review.  

But first let me clear up some misconceptions that have formed. (My
thanks to Kimber for pointing them out.)

1. NO KIDDIES ALLOWED

Although this link is being sent to BuffyLovesWillow, which is an
all-ages list, it contains R-rated language, because that's how I like
to talk. If you are below the age of R-rated (or your equivalent)
movies, do NOT click the link. Anyone who chooses to read the review
accepts sole responsibility for what they read. Thank you.

2. ONE MAN'S OPINION, NOT FIVE

This is MY review. It is in no way official or connected to the lists I
moderate, any more than my fics are "official" fics or my feedback is
"official" feedback.  

I first started doing reviews with "Doublemeat Palace", and both that ep
and the steaming pile that is "Dead Things" aired before I was promoted
to moderator status. One thing has exactly zero to do with the other.  

So my views do not represent those of anyone else on or off the list,
and certainly not my fellow moderators, Rod, Kimber, Shadow and Quin.
Got that?

3. IT'S A "REVIEW", NOT A "RECAP".

Missed the ep and want a blow-by-blow of the action, without a lot of
opinion? What the heck are you doing here? This review is all opinion,
and is tailored for the person who saw the episode and understands what
the specific looks and lines I cite mean. If you just want info, go to
Leoff Online, at
http://leoffonline.com/wildfeed/archives/eps-buffy/b7-04.html

I mean, why the heck would I bust my hump doing this and NOT put in my
opinion? If I wanted to let people read the sort of recap Leoff does,
I'd just post the link and go to bed at a decent hour.

4. HUGS AND PUPPIES NOT AVAILABLE HERE.

Kimber told me that some people were using these recaps to try and get
themselves psyched up for the new season and were "devastated" when I
was such a downer about it.

"And again I go with 'huh'?"

Hey, I'm working for the list, not Joss. I'm a cheerleader for Buffy,
Willow, the idea of Buffy/Willow romance, and fanfics about said
romance.

And that's ALL. NOT the show.

Anyone who was reading in May remembers that I basically thought "Grave"
was an offense to the viewing audience and a crime against television
writing. I swore never to watch the show, and only went back on my word
for minor reasons (checking out what happens to Willow, seeing if Joss
could write a decent ep, and the request of another list to tear the eps
to shreds so we could vent our collective bile).

I am EXTREMELY ANGRY AND BITTER TOWARDS THE SHOW. I do NOT like what
the show has become. Anyone reading my reviews for happy thoughts about
the show is barking up an extremely wrong tree.

I don't want to be this way. Last September, I was sitting in my chair
watching the first ad FX ran for their repeats and when I saw the shot
of Buffy with the crossbow from "Innocence", I sat in my chair as if
galvanized by an electric current, and chanted " 'Innocence'!
'Innocence'! 'Innocence'!!!" in rapt joy for a good five minutes. (I
considered "Innocence" the finest hour of episodic television EVER
made—I still do—and at the time, I hadn't seen it in over three
years.) I watched the repeats of the Season 1 and Season 2 eps that I'd
never seen before with awestruck bliss. I've filled the storage on the
DVR with them so I can have them at my fingertips whenever I wish. I've
bought the DVDs and watch them compulsively (I'm sure I've seen "Some
Assembly Required" at least 10 times in the last month or so).  

I loved the hell out of this show, and am therefore obsessed with it. I
only dream it could be this good again. And therefore I am mightily
pissed when it isn't.

So maybe my review will be happy (I seem to have liked "Doublemeat
Palace", "As You Were", "Hell's Bells" and "Normal Again" more than most
reviewers did), but maybe it won't. You buys your ticket and you takes
your chances, that's all I'm saying.  

This is criticism, NOT a pep rally. Understood?

5. MY OPINION, NOT YOURS

I'm also confuzzled by people who assume they won't like an episode if I
don't like it. Folks, if I was living in your body, I'd be getting out
of my apartment more often, or something like that. We all have noses,
and we all have opinions. I'm only presenting mine. There's no reason
to think it's likely to be an indicator of your own unless you noticed
that this tends to happen.

So read, enjoy, and form your own opinion—however similar or different
it may be.

(And count yourself as lucky that you didn't have to read the boring
story I told Kimber, about myself and a certain Congressman Ottinger, to
illustrate the point. Apologies, listmom, apologies!)

All clear? Good.  

Enjoy it, or not. Enter freely, and of your own will.

Dan

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