FIC: Of Human Bonding [1/2] - Desert Rose

["hd_genscher" <HD.Genscher@xxxxxx>]

TITLE: Of Human Bonding [1/2] - Desert Rose
AUTHOR: HD_Genscher (hd.genscher@xxxxxx)
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: B/W
SPOILERS: for "Intervention"
DISCLAIMER: All characters and places belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, et al.
ARCHIVE: HD's Fan Fiction Archive, http://www.u34.de/hdffa/ . If you
want it too: take it!
FEEDBACK: If you liked it, I'll appreciate your feedback. And if you
didn't like it, it'll help me a lot if you point out what I did wrong.
---


OF HUMAN BONDING


Part 1. DESERT ROSE

Sand. Nothing but sand, withered blades of grass between rubble and
some more sand, as far as the eye could see.
'What else do you expect in a desert,' Buffy scolded herself as she
let her gaze wander over her surroundings.
Going out into the desert to get some answers to her questions from
the first Slayer had seemed to be a good idea when Giles brought it
up, but now Buffy wasn't convinced of that anymore.

**

The night before, while she was following her guide, a mountain lion,
Buffy contemplated what she would ask the first Slayer once she
reached her.
Who am I? That was the most fundamental question, and she felt she
could answer that question easily. "I'm the Slayer," she replied to
her own question aloud. The mountain lion paused for a moment, looked
at her as if to reprimand her, then went on leading her to...wherever
they were going.
'What am I doing here in this world?' Buffy asked herself the next
question. Another easy one, she thought. "I'm the one girl in all the
world, fighting the forces of darkness, yadayada..." But was that all?
Was her whole life supposed to revolve around slaying? Wasn't there
supposed to be something else, more than being just a killing machine?
This had been bugging her for a while now. It came down to the
question about the meaning of life. No, not *the* meaning of life,
*her* meaning. For many people, the meaning of life was gaining as
much money, or reputation, or both, as possible. Bitchy-Cordy (as
opposed to Scooby-Cordy) was a prime example of that. Others were
striving for immortality--through their works, for example. She didn't
have an example for that category...Principal Snyder, maybe? Buffy
quickly discarded that thought.
Buffy decided she didn't know anything about reputation or
immortality, nor wanted to. For her, the things that mattered were
giving herself away to others, caring about others, having a family
and friends--in no particular order. She realized that all those were
emotional, and all were opposed to the burning rage that drove her on
when she was slaying. Buffy reluctantly had to agree with Faith as far
as slaying was concerned. When she was in the midst of a fight, when
things were getting really rough, she enjoyed it. She couldn't deny
that. But when it was over, when she came down from the
adrenaline-induced high, she always reminded herself of why she did
all this. She didn't do it to feel that burning rage. She did it for
the people around her, especially for *her* people: her friends, her
family--the people she loved.
All the emotions she had named, they were all about the same thing. It
all came down to compassion...and to love.
And with that she was at the heart of the matter, the essence of her
grief, because there wasn't just friendly love, or family love, there
was also...'love' love.
Was she able to really love at all and be happy with the one she loved
ever after? She'd loved Angel, and she'd loved Riley, but both
relationships had failed. Rationally, Buffy had to admit that a Slayer
loving a vampire somehow had the label 'doomed' attached to it. But
love wasn't about rationality, plus, she wasn't so much into the whole
'thinking it through' thing. Anyway, once she was almost over her
relationship with Angel, she had thrown herself into Riley's arms,
only to be painfully disappointed again. Buffy wondered if she was the
one to blame. Maybe she wasn't able to love? Or some dreaded Slayer
destiny prophecy thingy prevented her from loving?
In this context, her initial question maybe had to be approached
differently. "I'm Buffy Summers, the one girl in the whole world
looking for love with all the wrong guys..." she muttered.

When they finally reached the sacred spot with the first Slayer, she
almost blurted out the most urging question that was on her mind.
"What about love?" Buffy asked.
"You're full of love. You love with all your soul," the Primitive
answered. "Love. Give. Forgive. Risk the pain. It's your nature. Love
will bring you to your gift..." she added.
That answer confused Buffy. "What is my gift?" the blonde wondered.
"Do I get one? Or do I have a gift to give to someone else?"
But the first Slayer refused to answer her question. "Don't search for
answers when you aren't ready for them. They'll find you once you
are," she explained before she disappeared.

Not satisfied with what the First Slayer had told her, Buffy decided
to stay in the desert for some time. Contemplating what question to
ask the primal Slayer had helped her to realize a couple of things,
right? Maybe the answers she was looking for were out here somewhere,
and she just, well, had to wait until they found her?

**

Now Buffy was sitting cross-legged on her jacket, and had been staring
out into the desert since the sun had come up a couple of hours ago.
In more than one way, this was a place of extremes, of sharp
contrasts...and of solace. The night's cool was the desert's solace
from the heat of the day. A storm was the desert's solace from the
silence, and rain was the desert's solace from dying of thirst. Loving
was her solace from the aggressiveness of slaying...
The desert's hostile environmental conditions had caused her to adjust
her attire a bit. Her shoes were the first to go. Buffy had soon found
out that their only use was to catch the sand. Later she had torn off
the lower half of her tank top and made a makeshift headscarf from the
resulting cloth. Now her jacket had to serve as a blanket. If things
were going on like this, she'd soon be running through the desert
naked.
The Slayer could feel the sun's rays burning on her skin. If there was
life somewhere here (and she was sure there was), it knew quite well
how to hide from the sun's merciless stare.
Buffy shielded her eyes and scanned her surroundings once more, taking
notice of a small cobweb-like cloud in the distance. 'Nope, nothing
seems to be out here,' she thought. Then she closed her eyes. Maybe
there wasn't anything to be seen, maybe it was to be heard...
She listened to what would have been silence to non-Slayer ears,
sorting out the different faint sounds. There was the trickling of the
grains of sand, obviously moved by the light wind that had come up
during the last hour, and there was the desert breeze itself.
"Huuuuiiiiillloooooooow," it made. Now that was strange! That almost
sounded like her best friend's name.... Buffy shrugged. Maybe she was
already hallucinating due to dehydration?
"Willow," the breeze whispered again, however.
Time seemed to stretch somehow, while Buffy listened to the soothing
whisper. A sudden gust of wind dishevelled the Slayer's hair under her
headscarf, causing her to open her eyes again.
The once small cloud had grown significantly since Buffy had first
noticed it a while ago, and it was darker now. Buffy rose to her feet
and calmly observed the unfolding spectacle of nature. There wasn't
anything nearby to provide shelter from the storm; all she could do
was to face the danger, like she always did. Faster and faster the
cloud grew, soon covering the whole sky, and the freshened wind bore
witness to the things to come.

Then, with a furious roar, the desert storm was there. The first
squall hit her like a giant fist and caused her to stagger. The
whirled up sand reached for her, and it was everywhere soon: in her
mouth, in her nose, even in her eyes.
"Is that all you have to give?" Buffy defiantly shouted into the
inferno that raged around her and pressed against it with all her
strength.
"WILLOW," the desert storm thundered, and shredded the remainder of
her clothes to emphasize that.
The next squall hit her with unrivaled intensity, smashing her to the
ground.
Finally Buffy understood. It was the simplest thing and it had been
right in front of her all the time: Willow was her gift--the faithful
redhead that she immediately bonded with, the girl that was always
there for her, always by her side--except this time.
Buffy tried to get up, but she was too weak and fell back into the
sand. 'What irony!' she thought. Finally all her questions had been
answered, and she would have to pay that knowledge with her life...
With all of her Slayer strength used up, Buffy gave in to the darkness
that was rapidly approaching her.

**

Willow and Giles were waiting for the Slayer's return near the
Watcher's car. The witch felt a growing uneasiness. Buffy was gone for
at least six hours now and there wasn't any indication of her
returning soon. Once more she listened into the desert. In the
distance, the rumble of a thunderstorm could be heard from time to
time, but besides that the desert was silent.
"I really should go after her. She doesn't have anything with her, not
even a stake. What if there are some nasty desert vampires out there?
And weren't there reports of a giant lizard...demon...living in this
area? A-And what about mountain lions...or...sand worms? I bet they'd
all be happy about a little Buffy snack..." she babbled while she
paced back and forth nervously in front of the car.
Giles tried to calm her. "Buffy's the Slayer, Willow. She knows how to
take care of herself. Besides, you'll endanger the results of this
endeavour if you go after Buffy now."
"Damn it, I don't care about the results! Buffy's in danger, I can
feel it!"
Resolutely, the redhead grabbed a stake and some other items from the
trunk of Giles' car, then trudged into the desert.

Willow found Buffy lying unconscious near a parched tree, the lower
part of her body covered by sand and her clothes ripped up.
The witch kneeled down next to the Slayer, and grabbed her by her
bare, scratched shoulders, trying hard to ignore the other very naked
Buffy body parts.
Buffy's eyes flickered open, gummed up with sand. With difficulty, she
blinked at the redhead.
"It's okay, Buffy. I'm here," Willow whispered.
Buffy opened her mouth and tried to say something, but all she managed
to get out was a croak.
Dipping her fingers into the bottle she had grabbed from the car with
foresight, Willow slowly moistened Buffy's lips with her fingertips
first. Pulling her into her lap so she was sitting up at least a bit,
she then let her best friend drink carefully from the bottle. Buffy
eagerly swallowed the refreshing liquid until the vessel was
completely emptied, then closed her eyes again and let out a long
sigh.
"Buffy?" the redhead panicked. Her friend seemed to drift away again,
and Willow desperately tried to think of something to help her. She
did the first thing that came to her mind: she kissed the blonde.
Sweet, moist lips brushed Buffy's ever so slightly. "Willow," she
sighed happily, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It hit the
sandy ground, where a red rose sprouted magically, immediately
directing her face to the sun.
The desert was alive at last, and Buffy had found what she came there
for:
Solace. Love. Willow.


To Be Continued...

...in part 2, "The Tree And The River"