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Author Ivy Gort Spoilers up to Afterlife and then it takes off in another direction. Direct quotes from the episode Afterlife written by Jane Epson. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor do I claim ownershipof this fiction. Summary: Dedication: Mad Hamlet is no longer on the list so I think its safe to say this, he is my hero. Nothing I will ever write will be close to his brilliance, but I?m going to keep trying and maybe, someday, I?ll make it. Afterlife Happens Part One ?That's okay. I've got it. Look, guys ... There's this
thing. And I'm just gonna ?There is no greater gift than for your brother to give up his life for yours.? Or some such quote. She really should have rememberedit, considering her drama class had done the play over the summer. It was a period of time that was nothing but a huge painful blur for the young woman. ?You brought me back.? Buffy was saying, I was in a place ...? This was hard for Willow to watch as the slayer struggled to stay coherent. ?I was in Hell.? The blonde was able to spit out. An overpowering sense of pride rushed through Willow. This was the acknowledgement she had been waiting for; the validation she had craved. ?I don't ...I can't think much about what it was like. But it felt ... I felt like the world abandoned me there. And then suddenly you guys ... You did what you did.? Buffy?s words ground to a halt and she could see her friend fight to force a smile. ?Oh, what tortures the she must have endured? ?Well,? the wiccan thought to herself, ?if I can pull her out the actual three-D surround sound version of Hell with magic, then I?m sure there is a spell I can use to help her through this horrible time.? ?It was Willow. She knew what to do.? Tara said quietly. Willow felt her priderise another notch as Buffy turned her sad eyes on her. ?So you did that?? Buffy questioned. Willow could barely contain her delight as Buffy singled her out?but the pain in Buffy?s face more than dampened that joy. There must be some kind of spell she could do to erase the pain and bring theold Buffy back. ?And the world came rushing back. So... thank you. You guys gave me the world. Thank you. I can't tell you what it means to me.? Her newly resurrected friend ground to a halt once again. Long pauses between words seemed to the norm with this version of the Slayer. Willow felt a jolt when Buffy finally lifted her eyes enough for her to fully look into them. What she saw was beyond pain, beyond horror, and the witch almost thought she saw longing there. ?I should have said it before.? Buffy finished. Willow could tell that was a prepared ad rehearsed speech. Willow shrugged; asking Buffy?s permission to hug her. It was an old Scooby thing, she had once explained to Tara, Buffy was a sensitive emapth, and it was how she was able to feel vampires close to her. But, sometimes it meant that the slayer just couldn?t stand to be physically touched, even by her friends. Especially by her friends. At her best friend?s nod, Willow quickly crossed the short distance to her. ?You're welcome,? Willow blurted out between the tears. ?I promise you, promise you, I will find a way to wipe away that look in your eyes.? She vowed silently to herself ?Welcome home, Buffy.? She heard Xander say just as he joined the hug and together they engulfed their friend. Willow knew Buffy wouldn?t be able to tolerate the contact for long, so it was no surprise when after a few seconds Buffy broke the hug. ?Sorry guys?.? The blonde started to apologize. ?It?s ok Buff!? Xander interrupted backing away. ?It?s just too soon,? she said looking up at Xander and Willow she muttered. ?I-I just can?t deal with. . . .? ?It?s ok!? The Witch tried to put her friend at ease but shecould tell that she?d lost her when her friend turned and started wandering towards the training room. Willow just watched her go; there was no use in trying to stop heror engage in conversation. The few days since she?d been back, once Buffy drifted off mentally she stayed gone for a while. ?Now that?s a sad puppy,? Xander mentioned while sitting at the round table in the center of the Magic Box. ?Yeah,? Willow?s mind was going into her overdrive mode. She turned back to her friends after hearingthe outside door to the training room close. ?I think we should make Buffy forget.? ?What?? the other three people chorused at the same time. Willow walked over to the table. ?Quickly, I have to say this and do it quickly, today; it would be the only way the spell could work.? ?I?ve been researching the spell the monks used to create Dawn?? She started only to be interrupted by her lover. ?Willow,? Tara started in that maternal voice the young Wiccan despised. ?We can?t do that kind of magic! Do as you will and harm none!? Willow glared at Tara, thinking what a stick-in-the-mud she'd become. 'She's holding my own growth and power back!' ?Look Tara,? Willow snapped. ?If you?d had your way Buffy would still be in that torturous Hell Demission!? ?Wills, all she?s saying?? Xander started. Willow burned, seethed with rage at the mutiny! Turning, she made for the training room, fully intending on doing the spell. "I'm right about this," she told them as she left,"and you guys will see!" She hurried, because if she was going to rework Buffy's memories of Hell, she had to do it quickly "Buffy?" she queried, getting no answer. When it was apparent her friend wasn't in the room, she opened the door to the outside. Willow was startled to hear Spike's voice and the tail end of his comment. "...but I know a thing or two about torment." "I was happy," she heard Buffy say in that same sad voice. Everything inside Willow froze. She couldn't move, couldn't think, stuck holding the outside door slightly ajar. She couldn't believe she'd heard correctly. Buffy couldn't have been happy in Hell! It was that bastard, Spike, again! He'd done this to Buffy! He'd confused her to the point where she didn't know what to think! ?Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace.? Her friend reiterated. All Willow could do was stand there as if her feet were stuck in glue. Her emotional high from Buffy's praise only a few minutes earlier drained out of her. 'No!' she thought frantically. Bile rose up in her throat. 'What have I done?' ?I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knewit.? The words seem to pour out of Buffy?s mouth and each one was like the stroke of a whip. ?But we weren?t alright; we were never even close to alright! Willow thought?begged in her mind. Don?t you understand nothing was right, nothing could ever be right, without you here?? Fat salty tears began to stream down Willow?s face, and she was able to free a hand from the paralysis that had gripped her long enough dash them away. She wanted to turn away from the words, from Buffy, but she couldn?t. ?Time didn't mean anything, nothing had form... but I was still me, you know?? The young witch saw the slayer look questioning at the Vampire before she continued. ?And I was warm and I was loved... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about dimensions or theology or any of ... but I think I was in heaven.? ?Heaven?? Willow thought, ?you were loved? But, I love you! I?ve always loved you!? ?And now I'm not.? ?Buffy?? Spike asked. ?I was torn out of there. My friends pulled me out. And everything here is bright and hard and violent... Everything I feel, everything I touch... this is Hell.? ?Hell is being with me.? The witch thought in anguish. ?Willow? Sweetie?? Tara?s voice broke the thrall Buffy?s words had overWillow and she let the door slide softly shut. As the door?s lock clicked all control the young girl had over her tears dissolved and she slowly slid down the wall as sobs wracked her small frame. She couldn?t see her lover through the torrent, but she could feel her hand on shoulder. ?Sweetie, honey, what?s wrong?? She heard Tara ask and it enraged her. She pushed to her feet, ?What?s wrong?? Willow knew she was shouting. She couldn?t stop herself, couldn?t stop screaming, at the one person who always believed in her. ?What?s wrong? Well, I?ll tell you what?s wrong!? She paused at Tara so she could walk up to the Xander blob that just ran into the room. ?I?ll tell you allwhat?s wrong! Buffy was in heaven! Heaven and I sundered her from itand now she?s in Hell!? ?Will, you aren?t making any sense.? Xander told her calmly walking up to her and gathering her into a hug. ?Tell me again, slowly and in one syllable words.? It almost worked. He was almost enough, but he wasn?t. Buffy?s words echoed in her mind, ?I was in heaven, and now I?m not, I was torn?.? ?Oh God, I have to go!? Willow said quietly, and when Xander wouldn?t release her, she threw him against the wall and dashed out into the day. End of Part One
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