Afterlife Happens (5/?) B/W PG

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just torturing them for you.

Summary: Willow has to deal with the consequences of her actions.

BETA: Ann Marie is the Great Goddess, without her this part would be in the rejects folders and I would be hopelessly blocked.

Part Five

?Willow! Wake-up, Buffy?s up and wants to leave.? I hear Dawn?s urgent voice through the fog of sleep. The last thingI remember was Dawn going downstairs to call Giles and Xander looking in on the Slayer.

?Buffy, just wait for Willow and she?ll explain.? Xander says. Thank God for thin walls. And I?m instantly awake and moving towards the hallway. It?ll only take me a few seconds but I know just how fast the Slayer can move. If Xander delays in using the gun she?ll be out of here.

How could I have fallen asleep? I should?ve been there when Buffy woke up.

?Xander if you don?t put that down, I?ll wrap it around your neck and you?ll wear it as a necklace!? Good--she?s still threatening him, that?s means there?s time.

?Buffy,? he tries to reason again as I get tothe doorway - blocking it. ?Wait for Will ? low.? He finishes.

?Yes, Willow.? The Slayer crosses her arms and looks straight at me. Her blue eyes burn a hole through me, I?m stunned by the hatred coming off her in waves. I vaguely notice the overhead light - so it?s dark outside. I wonder how long I was asleep.

?Well, Willow? We?re waiting for you to explain why I?m prisoner in my own house!? The Slayer doesn?t scream; she never screams. But if I were a vampire, right now I?d be saying my prayers ? except vampires don?t pray.

?Will?? Xander looks at me for support. He can see Buffy?s blue eyes too. Buffy?s eyes are hazel, the Slayer?s are blue.

"Yes, Willow?" She raises her eyebrow slightly in question. "And while you're explaining why I wake up to Xander standing over me with a gun, you can also answer what kind of mojo you used to put me out!" Her voice is a barely contained furious whisper.

I don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting a defiant, angry Slayer. I was expecting a depressed or embarrassed Buffy. The difference has thrown me. I can feel all their eyes on me. Xander's pleading with me that I might have been wrong earlier.

Dawn is behind me, so I can't see her face but I can imagine it. They didn't wantto believe that Buffy was in heaven because, let's be real, yanking someone out of heaven is a crime of biblical proportions.

Wrath of God and all that.

I've had time to accept my damnation, Xander hasn't. I spare a glance hisway and notice that the gun has dropped slightly.

"Xander!" I hiss at him and he lifts it back up. I turn back to Buffy in time to see the slightest flash of frustration play across her face. I now know why we are still talking instead of Buffy being gone.

Xander has kept the Slayer on the other side of the bed, while he's as far away from her as the small room will allow. He?s backed into a corner. The Slayer could probably get to him before he got a dart off but the uncertainty is keeping her in place, for now.

I take a breath, I have to sound calm and collected or Xander will lower the gun and Buffy will be gone. We?re not even sure a dart will put her out; although I do think it would slow her down enough so that we could overpower her.

?Willow! Explain, now!? The Slayer interrupts my trainof thought. She is the very picture of indignation. Her arms crossed at her middle, her head held high, the rage at being told to what to do flashing in her eyes.

?Buffy, we know that you were in heaven, you don?t have to pretend anymore.? I tell her softy. I don?t want to enrage her more than I have to at the moment.

There is a stunned silence and then she starts tolaugh, she is laughing so hard that she nearly topples over onto the bed.

And I am again surprised.

I don?t know what?s going on with her.

?Buffy?? I question and take a tentative stepinto the room, and then notice that Xander has to adjust to have a clear shot, so I stop. When Giles was accidentally shot with the tranq gun he slept for three days. I would probably sleep fora week.

Buffy dashes the tears from her eyes and stands up straight.

?Look Will, I know that I haven?t been littlemiss sunshine since I?ve been back. . .? She doesn?t finish her sentence. I see her trying to breathe but the air catches and she can?t get it in. I want to go to her, I want to take her into my arms and tell her everything is going to be all right.

I ache. I literally ache with the desire to comfort my best friend.

?Will,? her eyes catch and hold mine for a moment. I can?t tell what I see, but I think it's hate, or anger, or fear?

?Xander.? She does the same thing to him, only her eyes change, they?re soft and loving.

?I wasn?t in heaven. I?I can?t talk about it.? Her words run out and Ican tell that she?s about to slip away to wherever she?s been going the past few days.

Xander lowers the gun and looks at me with uncertainty. What can I say to him? What do I say to Dawn or what can I think? Buffy wasn?t in heaven? I know what I heard. I know what I saw this afternoon when I came home.

The Slayer shakes herself out of the trance she had fallen into, then walks slowly towards me. ?May I go now?I have to patrol.?

There is still something going on?the razor blade?

?Buffy when I walked in on you this afternoon Ifelt?I felt?an incredible amount of pain.? I start remembering that it wasn?t just me. ?Then I saw you with arazor blade?.?

?Willow,? she shakes her head no. ?I was changing the blade on myDad?s razor. I?ve had it since he left.? She goes back around the bed, and after kneeling, holds up an old fashioned razor in her right hand.?I know Lady Bic would be better but it somehow makes him closer to me.?

She sighs and stands up, puttingthe razor on the bedside table.

?Is this why you went all veiny?? She asks, coming toward me. ?Cause I gotta say I didn?t like whatever it was you did.? She stops in front of me, staringup at me with fire in her eyes.

?Actually, I think you have the problem that needs to be addressed.? She continues, ?I think you are using way to much magic.?

?She has a point there Willow? Xander agrees. He leans the gun against the doorframe and then walks over to us. ?You have been depending on it too much.?

What can I say to them? They?re right; I almost lost ittwice today. If it wasn?t for Buffy and how much I love her, I would have lost it. Could I have been wrong? I know what I felt when I got home, could I have just been projecting my own fears and pains onto Buffy?

Tara is the empath, not me. I rarelyfeel what other people are feeling. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I misunderstood what I overheard, too?

?Willow, this morning?? Dawn's question echoes my thoughts.

I seize on it.

?This morning I overheard you talking with Spike?.? I never get to finish as the Slayer, with her eyes blazing, takes another step forward. There isn?t six inches between us now. And despite the fact that she?s a few inches shorter than I, she intimidates me.

She is the Slayer.

?How dare you listen to a private conversation?? She spits out, her voice a horse whisper, she?s so angry. I really have no idea how she?s restraining herself from lashing out physically. Her fists are clenched at her side.

The power rises up to protect me and I beat it back down. I stand fast in the middle of Buffy?s emotional storm. Both Xanderand Dawn have had to take a step away from her. The fire from her rage so intensethat it's burning me from the inside out.

I want to run. I want to flee from this force of nature before me.

Dawn steps back up beside me. She places a hand on the small ofmy back and it steadies me.

What do I say to her? The truth.

?Yes, I listened to your private conversation; now answer my question.? I order her and for the life me of I have no idea where I got the strength to say those words.

Buffy is still staring into my eyes, she?s still in front of me, she hasn?t moved a muscle and yet I can sense something changing about her. A second passes, then two, and I can see it. I cansee the walls around her heart--no--her soul, begin to crumble into fine dust.

And I know I was right. She's been acting. Acting normal, because she knows that's the only way we'll leave her alone long enough. . ..

I think she?s stuck in the pose because I can see right through her. It?s like she?s becoming invisible.

Oh God, the pain that I felt earlier in the day starts again, it just begins to radiate out from her. The emotional storm changes into a category five hurricane.

?I don?t have to deal with this?.? She mumbles softly as she brushes past me towards the door. Too late I remember that Xander had put down the gun. There is nothing to keep Buffy from leaving. Nothing to keep herfrom dying.

The Power starts up; ?I can keep her here? but I force it down even as I?m turning around to try and grab her. I know it?s a useless gesture, there is no way I can stop her without magic.

Only I don?t have to because Giles is standing there blocking the way out. And Giles seems to fill the doorway, more importantly, he has the Tranq gun pointed directly at her.

?I believe I would like to hear the answer to that question, too.? He voice is steady, calm, but his eyes are flashing every bit as much fire as the Slayer?s were earlier.

Buffy stops and then she just crumbles to the floor?the sobs being ripped out of her?she grasps for air and she can?t breathe it hurts so badly.

?I just want to go back! PleaseGiles let me go back!? She shouts at her true father.

Xander takes the gun out of his hands so that he can kneel down and gather his Slayer into his arm as if she were a child. He cradles her against his chest as he lifts her and carries her to her bed.

He only glances at me as he passes but I can see the pure and adulterated furyhe feels at finding his Slayer in this condition. ?That?s ok, Giles, you canhate me as long as you help her.? I think to myself, I know this is my fault, and that?s ok too, as long as we save Buffy.

She?s all that matters right now.

He sits down and then eases back to the backboard of the bed, holding Buffy asif she were the most fragile crystal in his arms. It?s painful to watch as her body trembles and is shaken by the sobs being torn out of her.

?Dawn, if you will, the first aid kit?? Gilesasks, and Dawn is gone out the door in a second.

He strokes Buffy?s cheek, mumbling soothing nothing words to her, he pushes her hair off her hot sweaty face, trying anything to calm his daughter?s cries, but nothing can slow down the torrent of pain. She?s curling tighter and tighter into a ball in his arms, I know what?s she?s doing, she?s trying to retreat, run away from the pain. I take a step forward but he waves me back?.

?Giles?? I question him, ?We have to do something.?

He just nods and I see tears shining on his face. He can?t talk because he, too, is sobbing.

Dawn returns with a full syringe. So she understood what Giles was asking her to do. I know what it is, and I just hope she has a large enough dose, because if we don?t do something we?re going to lose Buffy in a completely different way.

Dawn holds it up for Giles to check but he?s crying to hard, so he just shakes his head. She hands it to me, I think it's enough, I hope it is at least. I take it from her and walk over to the bed. I ignore Giles? rage and plunge the needle into Buffy?s thigh.

The Slayer has no reaction. I empty the syringe into her leg anyway.

Then I stand back as Dawn sits on the bed in front of Giles and Buffy and begins to stroke her hair. Dawn sings to Buffy, some lullabyI think, I don?t understand the lyrics.

After a few minutes the sobs slow, then stop, a few minutes later she?s asleep. Dawn stands up so that Giles can put Buffy on the bed. When she?s settled Giles turns to me, none of his rage has diminished.

?Xander, Willow, downstairs, now.? He points needlessly at the door. ?Dawn you stay here, and watch her, if she moves call me immediately.?

I take one last glance at Buffy and then I meekly follow him. Whatever he does I deserve it.

As long as he can help Buffy.

End of Part Five

Bright Blessings,

Ivy

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