FIC: Tonight and the Rest of My Life 3/?

[jeepy91@xxxxxxx]

Ok gang, here's part three.  I went a little heavy on the song useage in this part, so I apologize in advance.  Again, if you're having trouble with the formatting, you can find it at Near Her Always and at IKOLY as well

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Author: Casandra
Email: rozwellrulz@xxxxxxx  Since my Fanforum account isn'tworking at the moment.
Disclaimer: Well even though the show isn't still inits first run, syndication will probably go on for eons, so I guess allthis is still necessary. I of course don't own them, because if I did,things would have been a lot more on the slashy side of things. Alas,Mutant Enemy, Fox and Joss don't seem to think the way I do. Oh well.
Author's Note:  Alrighty, somehow this section turned into a bit of a song fic. I used three in here.  The first one is by Cracker, entitled 'The Good Life'.  The second one is a current favorite of mine right now.  It's a great tune, I highly rec it.  It'sby HIM called 'Ressurrection'.  And for the last one I wanted something more romantic, so I picked Foreigner's 'I Want To Know What Love Is' . What can I say, I'm a child of the 80's.  And another note, somebody asked for a Willow POV part, so here ya are ;)
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  Willow POV~

Ok, what was *that* about!  She's worried that someone is going tohit on me?!  Ok, well maybe she's just trying to be protective of my relationship with Kennedy.  But yeah, that explanation flies out the window as soon as it came, because Buffy can barely stand Kennedy.  Andthat's on a good day.  Of course neither of them think I can sense the hostility between them.  I have no clue why they think that, considering I'm a witch and I'm naturally more in tune with all things emotional, especially since my time with the coven in England last year.  I honestly can't figure out why they don't get along though.  I know Kennedy can be a little headstrong and impetuous, which is actually a lot like Buffy was when she first became a Slayer.  Plus, add in the whole Slayer thing and they're actually quite a bit alike.  Kennedy has always reminded me of a strange cross between Buffy and Faith.  Quite an attractive combination I 
must say.

Of course I've always had a thing for Slayers.  More so one Slayer, but I will admit to checking out Faith's assets more than once.  With her it was the first time I really had appreciated the female physique ina decidedly naughty way.  It was a small case of lust, pure and simple.  Probably yet another reason I was so hostile to Faith, added onto the whole 'she's stealing MY Buffy' thing I had going on at the time.  And ironically enough Faith was the one who made me accept my feelings forBuffy for what they really were.  I had loved Buffy so much, for so long that I didn't stop to think what loving her really meant.  Or *how* exactly I loved her.  I just did.  And I didn't overanalyze it,I didn't think about it, it was just as natural to me as breathing air into my lungs.  The sky is blue, the grass is green, I loved Buffy, it was that simple a truth to me.  And until Faith came along I had never thought about lovi
ng Buffy in a physical way as well.  I mean I had always noticed she was gorgeous, it's a very hard thing not to take notice of. Especially with half the class checking her out at any given moment. But I never thought it was strange that I happened to agree with their opinion, because she was my best friend, so of course I was appreciativeof her looks, that's how it works, right?  Yep, it's embarrassing to think I was that naive.  

But once Faith showed up and I realized I could be attracted to a womanbased solely on looks, I started re-evaluating everything.  And I came to the really shocking conclusion that I was actually IN love with Buffy as well.  Heart, body, soul, and mind, they were all hers.  And up until that point Buffy only had three of those.  So I figured, without the physical love I couldn't really be IN love with her, I just loved her more than anybody.  And there was a difference between the two so I was perfectly normal and completely straight.  So who was I kidding?  Just myself apparently. 

So 4 years after the fact of finally realizing it, I've still yet to doanything about it.  And I probably never will.  But because of keeping myself in the dark so long, I tend to over analyze everything now, instead of finding myself in the same predicament again.  So just what did Buffy mean by this being *our* night?  Hell, if I didn't know better, and I'm almost sure I do, I'd say she was acting rather possessive.  Sort of like the way Kennedy gets when we're here and is constantly giving anyone who steps within five feet of our table the Slayer death glare.  Before I can ponder that rather interesting new thought I see Buffy come bounding up the stairs, not so carefully balancing our cocktails in her hands.

"Come on Will, lets shake and shimmy!"  She grabs my hand as she sets the drinks down with the palm that my own hand isn't possessing, dragging me out of the stool and heading back for the steps before I can even mumble a response.

We hit the dance floor just as a new song is starting up.  I recognize it immediately. The memory hits me, making me realize just how long ago it really was.

This holy circus camp 
Aladdin and his lamp 
A feverish daydreams and sway de loca 
My face in magazines 
The lesbian James Dean 
I got all I ever wanted 

Buffy starts getting into it right away, I don't think it registers with her the way it does with me.  But I know I won't ever forget that moment.

So I don't mind saying 
This is how the good life's supposed to be 
The good life for you, for me 

Well I don't mind saying 
This is how the good life's supposed to be 
The good life for you, for me 

I had been really worried about her, not really getting into the festiveness of the Prom the way Oz seemed to be.  Which was strange in and of itself, Oz getting into the spirit of something.    I had no idea if she was alright or not, I just knew that so far the Prom had seemed to be safe.  So that had probably meant she was successful, I justdidn't know what the price had been.  But just when I was really ready to start freaking out I saw her hesitantly walk into the gym.  Her gown fitting her perfectly, her hair flowing freely down her bare shoulders. She was our hero, MY hero.  Oz actually had to get my attentionat first because I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of her lying dead witha Hellhound on top of her, that I hadn't even noticed at first.  And I bet he wishes he never had.  Because for the next 20 minutes I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Down miles of empty road 
With acolytes in tow 
You could be Persephone 
A pigeon through the glass 
A drunken trapeze act
Well you got all you ever wanted 

"Hey Will, why does this song sound so familiar? Do you recognize it?"  Well color me surprised, she does remember.  At least somewhat.

"Yeah, they played it at Prom."  Don't want to let her know just exactly when they played it, because that might look a tad bit suspicious.

So I don't mind saying 
This is how the good life's supposed to be 
The good life for you, for me 

Well I don't mind saying 
This is how the good life's supposed to be 
The good life for you, for me 

As the song wound down I looked up into her hazel eyes to see if she did indeed remember.

"Oh that's right!  Hey, speaking of Prom, you never did tell me ifyou were in on that whole Class Protector thing."  Oh uh.  Busted.  I had been waiting that entire summer after graduation for her to pounce on me with that question, and she never once did.  I consideredmyself lucky when I didn't have to explain about having that secret when we had our no secrets rule in effect.  Leave it to Buffy to bring it up4 years after the fact.

Just as I was about to try and wiggle my way out of an explanation, a new song started up.  It had a bit of a hard beat to it, perfect for dancing, and even better for getting Buffy's mind off of her little question. "Come on Buff, I love this song!"  Truthfully I had never heardit before, but she didn't need to know that.  I pulled her farther onto the dance floor, into the crush of bodies gyrating all around us.

There was a time
When I could breath my life in you
One by one
Your pale fingers started to move
And I touched your face
And all life was erased
You smiled like an angel(falling from grace) 

We`ve been slaves to this love
From the moment we touched
And keep begging for more
Of this resurrection

Well that certainly is appropriate.  I was a slave to my love for her, hence resurrecting her.  Honestly, I'm not sure anymore if I evenbelieved that she was trapped in Hell or someplace just as unpleasant.  I just missed her so damn much that I think I got to the point where I didn't even care anymore.  I needed her back.  It was one of the few times that I let my selfish desires override my better judgement.  And I paid dearly for it.  We both did.

We`ve been slaves to this love
From the moment we touched
And keep begging for more
Of this resurrection

You kissed my lips
With those once cold fingertips
You reached out for me
And oh how you missed
You touched my face
And all life was erased
You smiled like an angel(falling from grace) 

Oh how I wished that was true.  I've ached for Buffy's kiss, her touch, for years now.  And for a while I could keep myself moderately happy with her friendship.  The hugs we shared.  How she would hold my hand or loop her arm through my own when I went on patrol with her.  But those days are long over, they stopped almost immediately after I met Tara.  I wonder....................


We`ve been slaves to this love
From the moment we touched
And keep begging for more
Of this resurrection

We`ve been slaves to this love
From the moment we touched
And keep begging for more
Of this resurrection 

No, it's not possible, I mean Buffy would never feel like that for me.  She probably just restrained herself so that I wouldn't get the wrongimpression.  I mean it does seem like the time our friendship took a southward turn was right around the time I came out.  But I mean, thathas to be a coincidence, right?  Or maybe she was freaked that I would hit on her or something like that, and that's the reason why she pulled away.  Ugh, I'm getting a headache, too many deep and confusing thoughts.  And lets not even go near the distressing conversation I had with Kennedy before I came home to Buffy.  Came home to Buffy, I think I really like the way that sounds in my head.

Buffy seems to want to bring on a migraine though, because before I realize what she's doing, I'm in her arms, my hands looped around her neck seemingly of their own accord.  And we're slow dancing.  Buffy and me are dancing to a slow song. Together.  In each other's arms.  This is definitely new.  

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shineI
t keeps me warm as life grows colder 

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life 

Wow, I haven't heard this song in ages!  And boy did she pick an interesting one for us to dance to.  Wait a second, why *did* she pick one in the first place?  Best friends generally do not slow dance together.  And best friends certainly don't dance  as close as we arenow.  I feel her hold around my waist tighten and pull me closer to her, and I realize that I don't really care why.

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me 


Buffy lifts her gaze up and meets my startled one.  Yep, I'm so confused.  Yet strangely, still not caring.  She smiles at my perplexed _expression_ and then pulls me even closer, if that were possible, and rests her head snugly against my shoulder.

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me 


I can't help but to relax into her embrace, relishing this almost perfect moment.  Nothing matters right now.  I don't have a girlfriend.  Our home was never destroyed by the purest evil man has ever known. Nothing in the last seven years matters.  Except us.  Buffy and Willow.  Together.  I don't care about what's going to happen after the song comes to an end, all I care about right now is savoring the first real contact I've had with Buffy in almost 3 years.

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let's talk about love
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah 


I feel Buffy start to pull away a bit, and I involuntarily whimper at the loss of contact.  I knew it was going to end sometime, but that felt like mere seconds.  She tilts her head back up to meet my gaze again. "Will......."  I can see the hesitance in her hazel eyes, I can hearit in the way she says my name.  I should have known it was too good to be true.  "Will, can you?  I want you to........."

She can not be asking what I think she's asking me.  It's completely impossible, right?  But she did instigate our slow dance.  Andthe way she was holding me.  I may not have the handbook on best friend etiquette, but that's just not normal.  She was holding me almost like Xander was right before we had our clothes fluke.  

Oh my god!  

But wait, we're not all that dressed up, so no clothes fluking to be had. "Buffy?"  I'm not sure what to say, because I'm even less sure of what exactly is going on.  I can't help but lean in even closer to her as her name whispers past my lips.  I'm naturally drawn to Buffy, I always have been.  And in this moment, more so than ever.

I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it tooI wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it tooAnd I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is... 

As I'm leaning in, she starts mirroring my action, bringing our bodies as close as humanly possible.  I can feel her breath tickling my lips in teasing anticipation.  She's going to kiss me.  I can't believe it!  Buffy's going to kiss me.  Just as I go to close my eyes, preparing for the sweetest embrace, her eyes dart away from mine to something over my shoulder.

"What in the hell!?"

TBC.......
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["Willow's] bond with Buffy is something I find kind of transcendent.  Even when they're not getting along at all." - Joss Whedon, 'Innocence' commentary