REPOST: FIC: Of Human Bonding [1/5] - Desert Rose

[HD Genscher <HD.Genscher@xxxxxx>]

I've written two new middle parts for this story, so I decided to repost 
the whole. Part 3 and 4 are new, part 5 is the former third part. Enjoy!


TITLE: Of Human Bonding [1/5] - Desert Rose
AUTHOR: HD_Genscher (hd.genscher@xxxxxx)
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: B/W
SPOILERS: for "Intervention"
DISCLAIMER: All characters and places belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 
et al.
ARCHIVE: HD's Fan Fiction Archive, http://www.wiffy.de/hdffa/
FEEDBACK: If you liked it, I'll appreciate your feedback. And if you didn't 
like it, it'll help me a lot if you point out what I did wrong.
---


OF HUMAN BONDING


Part 1.  DESERT ROSE


Sand. Nothing but sand, withered blades of grass between rubble and some 
more sand, as far as the eye could see.

'What else do you expect in a desert,' Buffy scolded herself as she let her 
gaze wander over her surroundings.

Going out into the desert to get some answers to her questions from the 
first Slayer had seemed to be a good idea when Giles brought it up, but now 
Buffy wasn't convinced of that anymore.


**


The night before, while she was following her guide, a mountain lion, Buffy 
contemplated what she would ask the First Slayer once she reached her.

Who am I? That was the most fundamental question, and she felt she could 
answer that question easily. "I'm the Slayer," she replied to her own 
question aloud. The mountain lion paused for a moment, looked at her as if 
to reprimand her, then went on leading her to...wherever they were going.

'What am I doing here in this world?' Buffy asked herself the next 
question. Another easy one, she thought. "I'm the one girl in all the 
world, fighting the forces of darkness, yadayada..." But was that all? Was 
her whole life supposed to revolve around slaying? Wasn't there supposed to 
be something else, more than being just a killing machine? This had been 
bugging her for a while now. It came down to the question about the meaning 
of life. No, not *the* meaning of life, *her* meaning. For many people, the 
meaning of life was gaining as much money, or reputation, or both, as 
possible. Bitchy-Cordy (as opposed to Scooby-Cordy) was a prime example of 
that. Others were striving for immortality--through their works, for 
example. She didn't have an example for that category...Principal Snyder, 
maybe? Buffy quickly discarded that thought.

Buffy decided she didn't know anything about reputation or immortality, nor 
wanted to. For her, the things that mattered were giving herself away to 
others, caring about others, having a family and friends--in no particular 
order. She realized that all those were emotional, and all were opposed to 
the burning rage that drove her on when she was slaying. Buffy reluctantly 
had to agree with Faith as far as slaying was concerned. When she was in 
the midst of a fight, when things were getting really rough, she enjoyed 
it. She couldn't deny that. But when it was over, when she came down from 
the adrenaline-induced high, she always reminded herself of why she did all 
this. She didn't do it to feel that burning rage. She did it for the people 
around her, especially for *her* people: her friends, her family--the 
people she loved.

All the emotions she had named, they were all about the same thing. It all 
came down to compassion...and to love.

And with that she was at the heart of the matter, the essence of her grief, 
because there wasn't just friendly love, or family love, there was 
also...'love' love.

Was she able to really love at all and be happy with the one she loved ever 
after? She'd loved Angel, and she'd loved Riley, but both relationships had 
failed. Rationally, Buffy had to admit that a Slayer loving a vampire 
somehow had the label 'doomed' attached to it. But love wasn't about 
rationality, plus, she wasn't so much into the whole 'thinking it through' 
thing. Anyway, once she was almost over her relationship with Angel, she 
had thrown herself into Riley's arms, only to be painfully disappointed 
again. Buffy wondered if she was the one to blame. Maybe she wasn't able to 
love? Or some dreaded Slayer destiny prophecy thingy prevented her from 
loving?

In this context, her initial question maybe had to be approached 
differently. "I'm Buffy Summers, the one girl in the whole world looking 
for love with all the wrong guys..." she muttered.


When they finally reached the sacred spot with the First Slayer, she almost 
blurted out the most urging question that was on her mind.

"What about love?" Buffy asked.

"You're full of love. You love with all your soul," the Primitive answered. 
"Love. Give. Forgive. Risk the pain. It's your nature. Love will bring you 
to your gift..." she added.

That answer confused Buffy. "What is my gift?" the blonde wondered. "Do I 
get one? Or do I have a gift to give to someone else?"

But the first Slayer refused to answer her question. "Don't search for 
answers when you aren't ready for them. They'll find you once you are," she 
explained before she disappeared.


Not satisfied with what the First Slayer had told her, Buffy decided to 
stay in the desert for some time. Contemplating what question to ask the 
primal Slayer had helped her to realize a couple of things, right? Maybe 
the answers she was looking for were out here somewhere, and she just, 
well, had to wait until they found her?


**


Now Buffy was sitting cross-legged on her jacket, and had been staring out 
into the desert since the sun had come up a couple of hours ago.

In more than one way, this was a place of extremes, of sharp 
contrasts...and of solace. The night's cool was the desert's solace from 
the heat of the day. A storm was the desert's solace from the silence, and 
rain was the desert's solace from dying of thirst. Loving was her solace 
from the aggressiveness of slaying...

The desert's hostile environmental conditions had caused her to adjust her 
attire a bit. Her shoes were the first to go. Buffy had soon found out that 
their only use was to catch the sand. Later she had torn off the lower half 
of her tank top and made a makeshift headscarf from the resulting cloth. 
Now her jacket had to serve as a blanket. If things were going on like 
this, she'd soon be running through the desert naked.

The Slayer could feel the sun's rays burning on her skin. If there was life 
somewhere here (and she was sure there was), it knew quite well how to hide 
from the sun's merciless stare.

Buffy shielded her eyes and scanned her surroundings once more, taking 
notice of a small cobweb-like cloud in the distance. 'Nope, nothing seems 
to be out here,' she thought. Then she closed her eyes. Maybe there wasn't 
anything to be seen, maybe it was to be heard...

She listened to what would have been silence to non-Slayer ears, sorting 
out the different faint sounds. There was the trickling of the grains of 
sand, obviously moved by the light wind that had come up during the last 
hour, and there was the desert breeze itself.

"Huuuuiiiiillloooooooow," it made. Now that was strange! That almost 
sounded like her best friend's name.... Buffy shrugged. Maybe she was 
already hallucinating due to dehydration?

"Willow," the breeze whispered again, however.

Time seemed to stretch somehow, while Buffy listened to the soothing 
whisper. A sudden gust of wind dishevelled the Slayer's hair under her 
headscarf, causing her to open her eyes again.

The once small cloud had grown significantly since Buffy had first noticed 
it a while ago, and it was darker now. Buffy rose to her feet and calmly 
observed the unfolding spectacle of nature. There wasn't anything nearby to 
provide shelter from the storm; all she could do was to face the danger, 
like she always did. Faster and faster the cloud grew, soon covering the 
whole sky, and the freshened wind bore witness to the things to come.


Then, with a furious roar, the desert storm was there. The first squall hit 
her like a giant fist and caused her to stagger. The whirled up sand 
reached for her, and it was everywhere soon: in her mouth, in her nose, 
even in her eyes.

"Is that all you have to give?" Buffy defiantly shouted into the inferno 
that raged around her and pressed against it with all her strength.

"WILLOW," the desert storm thundered, and shredded the remainder of her 
clothes to emphasize that.

The next squall hit her with unrivaled intensity, smashing her to the ground.

Finally Buffy understood. It was the simplest thing and it had been right 
in front of her all the time: Willow was her gift--the faithful redhead 
that she immediately bonded with, the girl that was always there for her, 
always by her side--except this time.

Buffy tried to get up, but she was too weak and fell back into the sand. 
'What irony!' she thought. Finally all her questions had been answered, and 
she would have to pay that knowledge with her life...

With all of her Slayer strength used up, Buffy gave in to the darkness that 
was rapidly approaching her.


**


Willow and Giles were waiting for the Slayer's return near the Watcher's 
car. The witch felt a growing uneasiness. Buffy was gone for at least six 
hours now and there wasn't any indication of her returning soon. Once more 
she listened into the desert. In the distance, the rumble of a thunderstorm 
could be heard from time to time, but besides that the desert was silent.

"I really should go after her. She doesn't have anything with her, not even 
a stake. What if there are some nasty desert vampires out there? And 
weren't there reports of a giant lizard...demon...living in this area? 
A-And what about mountain lions...or...sand worms? I bet they'd all be 
happy about a little Buffy snack..." she babbled while she paced back and 
forth nervously in front of the car.

Giles tried to calm her. "Buffy's the Slayer, Willow. She knows how to take 
care of herself. Besides, you'll endanger the results of this endeavour if 
you go after Buffy now."

"Damn it, I don't care about the results! Buffy's in danger, I can feel it!"

Resolutely, the redhead grabbed a stake and some other items from the trunk 
of Giles' car, then trudged into the desert.


Willow found Buffy lying unconscious near a parched tree, the lower part of 
her body covered by sand and her clothes ripped up.

The witch kneeled down next to the Slayer, and grabbed her by her bare, 
scratched shoulders, trying hard to ignore the other very naked Buffy body 
parts.

Buffy's eyes flickered open, gummed up with sand. With difficulty, she 
blinked at the redhead.

"It's okay, Buffy. I'm here," Willow whispered.

Buffy opened her mouth and tried to say something, but all she managed to 
get out was a croak.

Dipping her fingers into the bottle she had grabbed from the car with 
foresight, Willow slowly moistened Buffy's lips with her fingertips first. 
Pulling her into her lap so she was sitting up at least a bit, she then let 
her best friend drink carefully from the bottle. Buffy eagerly swallowed 
the refreshing liquid until the vessel was completely emptied, then closed 
her eyes again and let out a long sigh.

"Buffy?" the redhead panicked. Her friend seemed to drift away again, and 
Willow desperately tried to think of something to help her. She did the 
first thing that came to her mind: she kissed the blonde.

Sweet, moist lips brushed Buffy's ever so slightly. "Willow," she sighed 
happily, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It hit the sandy ground, 
where a red rose sprouted magically, immediately directing her face to the 
sun.

The desert was alive at last, and Buffy had found what she came there for:
Solace. Love. Willow.



To be continued in:

Part 2, "The Tree And The River"


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"It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you."
Buffy & Willow, 'Choices'

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