Fic: In Rome 11: Babes In Rome

["ebailey140" <ebailey140@xxxxxxx>]

Title:  Babes In Rome
Writer:  E
Email:  ebailey140@xxxxxxx
Rating:  R?
Disclaimers:  Still don't own 'em.  The same folks do.
Spoilers:  Al of BtVS, much of Angel Season 5
The Story So Far:  Buffy and Dawn have established a home/Watchers 
Council HQ in Rome, and are having a lot of visitors.  Willow 
arrived, and she and Buffy finally consumated their long loving 
relationship.  But, Buffy's ex, fellow Slayer Faith, has also 
arrived, with Giles and Xander, with news about Dawn.  Dawn, they 
have learned, is the magical love child of Willow, Buffy, AND 
Faith.  Other's there include the recently resurrected Cordelia, and 
the hungry, horny, and disturbingly lifelike Buffybot.  Harmony's 
popped by for an unwelcome visit in pursuit of Cordy, and Dawn has a 
date, someone she said she had a lot in common with.  Much to Dawn's 
surprise, though, her new boyfriend, Connor, has a history with this 
group, especially Cordy.  Unknown to our heroes, though, the 
Kalderash Gypsy clan is in town, seeking revenge on Willow for 
killing the most hated son of their tribe...
Notes:  [  ] indicates telepathic conversation.


Cordy:  Connor...

Dawn:  You guys know each other?!!

Buffy:  Yeah...  Um...  Connor is Angel's son. 

Dawn:  Oh.

Buffy: And he and Cordy were...  kind of involved for a while.

Dawn:  Wasn't she involved with Angel?

Buffy:  Yeah...

Dawn:  Ick...

Buffy:  Yeah, lot's of "ick" all around if you think about it, too 
much...  (quickly)  But, it wasn't their fault!  They were, um, 
pawns in a larger game!  

Dawn:  Uh huh...

Connor:  No...  I should have seen we were being manipulated...  
Stopped things, before...  (broods)

Buffy:  Hey!  Stop the brooding, RIGHT NOW!  I put up with that for 
three years from your father, and I'm not putting up with it from 
you!

Connor:  Dawn...  Maybe I should just leave...

Dawn:  You just GOT here!

Connor:  I know...

Dawn:  Don't you care about me?

Connor:  Yes...  And I want you to be happy...  So...

Buffy:  AHEM!!!  Stop that.  (threateningly)  You're going to take 
my daughter out for coffee and conversation, and you're going to 
have FUN.  No brooding, no wallowing in self pity.  Understood?

Connor:  (suitably intimidated)  Yes.  But, isn't this making things 
even more incestual?

Buffy:  You don't know the half of it...  In fact, I can't help but 
have this weird feeling that I was almost your mother...

Connor:  Huh?!!

Buffy:  It's something I can't place...  Like there's something I 
don't remember, but it's important...  But, why wouldn't I 
remember...?  (spots Faith's ice cream container, eyes widen)  
COOKIE DOUGH FUDGE MINT CHIP!!!  

Dawn:  Um...  Yeah...  We have more...

Buffy:  It's coming back...  I REMEMBER!!!  That....  He wiped out 
that entire day...  ARRRGH!!!  I'm SO gonna kick Angel's ass for 
this!!!  (catching herself, to Connor)  No offense.

Connor:  None taken.

Xander:  Um, how many promised kicking's of Angel's ass does this 
make in the last few days?

Willow:  Three...  That I know of, at least...  She's going to kick 
Angel's ass three times, Spike's once...  Oh, and Andrew's.

Xander:  Can I watch?

Dawn:  But...  What happened between Connor and Cordy?

Buffy:  Long story...

Harmony:  I'll explain, since Cordy's incapable of speech at the 
moment, for a change...  It all started when Wolfram & Hart brought 
back Darla.  Things got intense, and one thing led to another, some 
magics were involved, and we ended up with Connor, here.  But, there 
was this old enemy who had himself put in, like, suspended animation 
centuries ago, and he took baby Connor to this Hell dimension, where 
he grew up.  Then he came back, wanting to kill his dad.  Got all 
that?

Dawn:  OK...

Harmony:  But then, this demon told Cordy that the Powers That Be 
needed her to go to a higher plane, and be a higher being and 
stuff...

Xander:  (to Cordy)  You just TRUSTED a DEMON?!!

Cordy looks embarrassed.

Harmony:  Hey, so did the rest of the Fang Gang...  So, she 
ascends...  Only it turned out she wasn't ascending...  She came 
back kinda possessed.  Then, she and Connor messed around, and she 
got pregnant...

Xander:  So, not only did you trust a demon, get possessed, screw 
the son of your boyfriend, but you didn't use contraceptives?!!!  Or 
condoms?!!!  I can't let you out of my sight for a minute without 
you getting possessed and knocked up?!!!  

Willow:  Xander...  She was possessed, OK?  She couldn't help it... 

Harmony:  Yeah!  Get off her ass about it!  It's been the same thing 
with you since we were all kids...

Buffy:  Can we save the Sunnydale Elementary reminiscing for later? 

Harmony:  Oh, yeah...  OK  (sticks tounge at Xander)  So, she gives 
birth to this reneagade Powers That Be....  Uh, Power That Be....  
What do you call a single one of them?

Buffy:  Sigh...  Just finish...

Harmony:  So, wouldn't you know...  Everything, from Connor's 
conception onward, was part of this overly elaborate plot by the 
First Evil!  I think...  

Buffy:  We don't know that...  The First could have just taken 
advantage of him being around...

Harmony:  Yeah, true...  

Willow:  So, Angel plus Darla equals Connor, plus Cordelia equals 
Jasmine.

Harmony:  Yeah!  You were always so good at math...

Buffy:  Ahem...  Getting sidetracked, again...

Harmony:  Sorry...  So, the First had Jasmine brought into the world 
to turn everyone outside of Sunnydale into Shiny Happy People, 
y'know, since Sunnydale had that conveniently timed blackout, and 
there weren't that many people who hadn't evacuated, already...  so 
there wouldn't be any resistance when she let loose with the 
ubervamps.  And, Jasmine tried to destroy Wolfram & Hart before they 
could get that necklace thingy that doesn't go with anything to you 
guys.  

Cordy:  Wait...  You mean I went through all that HELL because the 
Source of All Evil wanted to be BUFFY?!!!  

Harmony:  Yeah, pretty much...

Buffy:  Sorry about that...

Harmony:  Or...  Maybe Jasmine was trying to STOP the First, and 
Wolfram & Hart were actually working FOR the First...  But then, 
Buffy would be the First Evil, now...  Um, has she been doing evil 
stuff?

Willow:  Nah...  Naughty stuff, but she isn't wearing the Black 
Leather Pants.

Harmony:  Ah, OK then.  

Xander:  When did you become Recap Girl, anyway?

Harmony:  Part of my job.

Xander:  And is this the Sunnydale High Class of '99 reunion?!!

Harmony:  Is it?!!  We're all that's left?!!

Cordy:  (irritated)  He's JOKING!

Harmony:  Oh.  (relieved)  So, we're not the only ones to come out 
alive, then...

Xander:  You didn't exactly come out alive...

Harmony:  Hey!  Neither did Cordy or Buffy!  You're not giving THEM 
grief!  You always pick on me!!!  Dork!

Xander:  Airhead!

Harmony:  Jerk!

Xander:  Bimbo!

Harmony:  Um...  Dumb eyepatch guy!

Buffy:  (holding head)  Dawn, would you two go on your date before I 
kill everyone?  Please?

Dawn:  Sure...  Can you handle this?

Buffy:  I've stopped the Apocalypse a zillion times, so I can handle 
this room.  Times like this, though, I'm really glad I didn't grow 
up with these people...

Willow:  It's OK, sweetie...

Later, in Buffy's and Willow's bedroom...

Willow:  And this is my new shrine.  You like?

Giles:  Very impressive.

Buffy:  So, you guys considering my offer to move in?

Xander:  I like the place...  And I could keep my one eye on my 
favorite girls.

Giles:  Well...  

Buffy:  I've missed you...

Giles:  And I've missed you, too.  I've missed all of you, but...

Buffy:  You don't want to be with me?  

Giles:  Don't do that cute pout thing.  I'm immune.  No, not the doe 
eyes...

Buffy:  Sniff...

Giles: All right!  I'll consider it.  So, you've really decided to 
settle, here?  I thought you were having another place fitted.

Buffy:  Well, given out global responsibilities, we could use a 
house on both sides of the Atlantic.  This'd be the European place, 
and the other place would be when we're in America.

Xander:  Where's this?

Buffy:  My home town.  I saw this place in Griffith Park and fell in 
love with it.  It reminds me a lot of Angel's old house in 
Sunnydale...  A LOT of Angel's old place in Sunnydale.

Willow:  I know.  It's uncanny...

Xander:  (Looks at Buffy's and Willow's bed)  And you still have 
your constant companion, Mr. Gordo...

Buffy:  (hugs Mr. Gordo)  You never leave me, do you, Mr. Gordo?  
Mr. Gordo says "Hi!", and he agrees you guys should stay.  He's 
missed you, too!  (looks at Mr. Gordo)  Oh!  Guys, we have a 
problem...

Willow:  She's worried?  (goes to doll on shelf)

Xander:  Um...

Buffy:  Mr. Gordo says Miss Edith is worried.  You remember Miss 
Edith?

Xander:  That doll you rescued from the Factory?  Um...  You have 
conversations with your dolls?

Willow:  Oh...  Well...  Sometimes, when dolls are around a lot of 
mystical energy for an extended period, they gain sentience.  So, 
Mr. Gordo and Miss Edith can think.  It seems to have rubbed off on 
Buffybot.  

Xander:  Ah...  (looks at Giles)

Giles:  Yes, it does happen, sometimes.

Buffy:  [Miss Edith, what's happening?]

Miss Edith:  [Old enemies...  Up to no good, they are.  A gate is 
opening...  It wants to claim us!  They want to destroy our happy 
home!]

Willow:  Guys, we gotta keep our guard up...  Some old enemies are 
after us.

Xander:  Again?!!  Don't they ever learn?  

Giles:  Xander, check the London office.  See if they know 
anything.  I'll research.  In the meantime, as Willow said, we'll 
keep our guard up.  

Buffy:  Sigh...  And I had a fun night of passion planned for 
Willow.  Guess that has to be postponed...

Giles:  Don't you dare!  We can handle this, and we'll tell you if 
anything comes up.  You two go ahead and do...  What you were going 
to do...

Xander:  Um, Mr. Gordo is sentient, right?

Buffy:  Yeah...

Xander:  And you two...  do what you do...  with him in bed with you?

Willow:  Of course.  It's not like it's anything he hasn't seen, 
before.

Xander:  Lucky pig...


Somewhere in Rome...

Bera:  It is time...

Stefan:  I have a bad feeling about this...

Bera:  Veangeance cannot be...

Stefan:  Yeah, yeah, I know...  (Begins curse)


The bedroom...

Willow:  Sigh...

Buffy:  What is it?

Willow:  Well...  You're not interested in Harmony, are you?

Buffy:  What?!!!  Come ON!

Willow:  Well...  She's attractive, and a vampire who can't kill 
anybody...

Buffy:  Yeah, but...  She's HARMONY.  

Willow:  (smiles)  True...

Buffy:  Granted she's got quite the bod...  But then she starts 
talking...  I like smart girls.  Like you.  (leans in to kiss)


Elsewhere in the house...

Harmony:  So...

Cordy:  What a day...

Harmony:  Well, look at it this way...  Can't get worse.

Cordy:  Don't SAY that!!!  Now, it'll get worse!!!  Nice job!!!

Harmony:  Uh...  Sorry?

Cordy:  No, let ME apologise...  I'm on edge...  I'll be OK...

Harmony:  Anything I can do?

Cordy:  Maybe...  (holds head)  ARRRRGH!!!  (crumples to floor)

Harmony:  Cordy!!!  I know things are kinda rough, right now, 
but...  (Cordy grabs her roughly)  Ugh...

Cordy:  I'm...  having...  a...  VISION...  you....  IDIOT!!!!


The bedroom...

Buffy's smiling, watching Willow sleep, content.  Suddenly, she's 
jolted by a sharp pain...

Buffy:  (falling out of bed)  Ahh...  (convulses)  Oh no...

She stumbles out of the room, not disturbing Willow, who is sleeping 
peacefully...




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"It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you."
Buffy & Willow, 'Choices'

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