RE: FIC: The Island (5b/?) B/W PG

["Dutch ~" <DutchPizzaK@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Woo hooo! Sad, but it was just soo....I dunno, I loved it and that it was a 
part I hadn't read yet made me very happy. ( : I'm really liking this story, 
but you know that. *G* Can't wait for more.

Dutch


> From: "ivygort" <ivygort@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> > To: <BuffyFemSlashers@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> CC: <buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,<buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: ::Buffy*Loves*Willow:: FIC: The Island (5b/?) B/W PG
> Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 00:46:55 -0400
>
> Disclaimers in Chapter Five A
>    ___________________________
>
>
>
>
> "I heard some of what you said about the hurricane."  Buffy said, and 
> Willow could hear the concern in the Slayer's voice.  And she immediately 
> wondered if the blonde overheard the lie that she told Clare.
>
>
>
> 'Damn Slayer hearing.  I'd forgotten about it.'
>
>
>
>  "I'd like to contact Giles tomorrow and let him know your predictions.  
> Maybe the extra time will help him prepare a list of actionable items? A 
> plan." Buffy finished.
>
>
>
> "Yes, sure, I'll email the information to him right now."  Willow said, 
> trying to escape. She didn't want to go into all the reasons that she lied 
> to Clare.  She didn't want to see the pity that she knew would be in 
> Buffy's eyes.  She didn't want Buffy on the Belle Star, she was so tempted 
> to just go off and chase the hurricane instead of the vampires.  It would 
> keep Buffy safe just a few weeks longer, she wanted to just enjoy the wind, 
> the water, the her life's work.
>
>
>
> But, she couldn't.  She wouldn't and because of that Buffy would be put 
> into danger.
>
>
>
> 'Just like eight years ago, Buffy could be killed because of me.  How could 
> I ever live if she died?
>
>
>
> Willow hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to escape and wanting 
> to confess.
>
>
>
> "Wait, you don't have to do that now.  Giles doesn't check his email until 
> the morning anyway." Buffy said, quickly turning around as Willow nearly 
> dashed to the steps of the cabin.
>
>
>
> "Willow!  Wait, stop!" The Slayer nearly shouted at her in frustration, and 
> the Witch paused in mid-step.  "Why can't we just talk?  Why can't we just 
> be like normal old friends and catch up?"  Buffy pleaded.
>
>
>
> Willow slowly put her foot down on the stair and pivoted towards Buffy. She 
> saw the determination in the Slayer's expression.  She was afraid that 
> Buffy would ask her about the conversation with Clare-would ask her about 
> everything-why she lied, why she left, everything.
>
>
>
> And that made the anger build, the rage she had kept close to her heart in 
> order to shield it flew out of her and she couldn't stop it, didn't want to 
> stop it.
>
>
>
> "Because we were never normal friends, Buffy."  Willow said the words and 
> made sure they were clipped, short, so that they stabbed the Slayer.  She 
> wanted Buffy to bleed.  Just like she was bleeding inside.  Just like in 
> her dreams every single damn night that she wasn't on the water.
>
>
>
> "What do we 'catch up' on?  How many demons you've killed in the past eight 
> years, how many young girls that you sent out to fight died horrible 
> deaths?  Like Kennedy?"  Willow watched as that one hit home and the Slayer 
> froze, her face draining of all color.
>
>
>
> "How many girl's who wanted to be ballerinas or lawyers or have a family 
> died in the terrible fight you know you are going to lose?  The "Good 
> Fight" that will kill you sooner or later?"  Willow saw each word hit home. 
>  Each one a blow, until all Buffy wanted to do was curl up into a ball of 
> misery.
>
>
>
> "So that's it.  You still hate me."  Buffy forced the words out as all the 
> air seemed to leave her body.  "You left because I used up my last chance 
> to be your friend ..." The Slayer said.
>
>
>
> Willow watched as Buffy tried to bark out an uncaring laugh, so that Willow 
> wouldn't know how wounded she was--how shocked at the Witch's outburst--how 
> crushed.  But instead of a laugh it came out with a sob.  So Buffy turned 
> her back, unable to speak.
>
>
>
> Willow stared in shock at Buffy as she stood on the other side of the deck 
> with her back to her.  She could hear the tiny sobs as they forced their 
> way out of the Slayer's throat.
>
>
>
> 'What have I done?  Why did I do that?'  Willow thought, trying to pull in 
> her emotions, trying to gain some kind of control.  'I can't let her get 
> close to me, I just can't.'  She frantically looked around the craft, 
> trying to let the sound of the water; the waves, the creaking and clanking 
> of the rigging soothe her ragged nerves.
>
>
>
> 'I have to . explain.'  She took in a deep breath, and another one . 
> forcing the anger down.  The quiet sobs from Buffy drowning her anger.
>
>
>
> "Buffy I didn't mean to .."  She stopped.  Yes, she did mean to drive an 
> unassailable wedge between them.  "Buffy," She started again and forced 
> herself to walk over to the Slayer.  "I didn't mean half of what I said, 
> you have to understand .."
>
>
>
> "Yes you did mean it." The Slayer whipped around, her accusation hitting 
> the mark in Willow's heart.  "So this is how this little hunting expedition 
> is going to be? You can lie to your boss but you can't lie to me.  I know 
> you too well or at least I used to."  Buffy told her, pushing by the Hacker 
> to sit on the bench and casually look up at the moon.  Only the tears still 
> streaming down the blonde's face gave any indication that she was still 
> upset.  "We only talk when we need too?  I get it, I do."  The Slayer wiped 
> the tears away.
>
>
>
> "No you don't get it!  You never 'got it.'"  Willow accused her, the anger 
> rising up once again out of nowhere.  Or not out of nowhere, Willow knew 
> where the anger came from--her heart--it was the only shield she had, the 
> only way she could live without Buffy.
>
>
>
> 'It was the only way to keep everyone safe!'
>
>
>
> The Slayer looked at back her.  "Then tell me one thing before we turn this 
> boat into the fortress of solitude . why did you just run out on us eight 
> years ago?"  Buffy had said it so matter of factly, so devoid of emotion 
> that it shattered Willow--and all the memories came rushing back-she sat 
> down heavily on the top stair and just looked at the woman whom she loved 
> beyond all reason, beyond all hope, just like the plot in a bad soap opera.
>
>
>
> "You, you . don't remember ...I mean according to Dawn you didn't remember 
> .." Willow tried to choke out as the memories of that night overwhelmed 
> her.
>
>
>
> "You were so hurt lying there, discarded, in the alley.  Like someone's day 
> old garbage.  You were so still . so . the snow . it was red.  The sleet 
> was beating down on your face and I kept thinking that you shouldn't let 
> it.  At first I thought you were dead . I had seen you stake her and I felt 
> betrayed because we could have ensouled her like Angel . you know?  Later I 
> thought that if you hadn't led the rescue party then .."  Willow looked up 
> from her memories to see if Buffy was following her disjointed words.
>
>
>
> The Slayer just sat on the bench trying to keep quiet, to let Willow talk, 
> trying to understand why she left.
>
>
>
> "There was blood, blood everywhere." Willow said before she got lost again, 
> trying to keep the words flowing as that night came back to her.
>
>
>
> How could someone so small have so much blood on them and not be dead?  
> Willow thought as she watched Giles extended a shaking hand to Buffy's neck 
> to see if she still had a pulse.  But Willow could tell that she was alive, 
> the Slayer had collapsed from exhaustion and her injuries.  Her face was 
> bruised, her eyes nearly swollen shut, a nasty cut on the side of her 
> forehead.
>
>
>
> But Willow heard the wet breaths that were forced in and out of her body.
>
>
>
> "Broken ribs, Giles.  At least one lung is filling up with ...."  She 
> couldn't finish it.  She couldn't stand there and watch as Giles and the 
> other Slayers gathered around Buffy.  She turned away and looked down the 
> dirty alley and saw the bodies of the 'rescue party' that came after 
> Kennedy--too late--too late to keep her from dying.  Too late to keep her 
> from changing.  From agreeing to be changed.  No Slayer had ever been 
> turned into a vampire for one simple reason-a person had to agree to be 
> turned-Kennedy had to agree.
>
>
>
> Kennedy betrayed them all.
>
>
>
> "Call an ambulance we can't move her, I think there might be spinal 
> injuries." Giles said grimly.
>
>
>
> Willow whipped around and met Giles' bleak stare.  They had Buffy covered 
> with their coats.  One of the new girls was holding her jacket over Buffy's 
> face so that frozen sleet wouldn't hit her.
>
>
>
> 'I can't do this ... I can't watch her die.  I ... I ..'
>
>
>
> Willow ran out of the alley, she ran down the deserted slick streets.  I 
> can't do this, I can't, I just ... somehow she found herself back at Slayer 
> headquarters just as the clouds to the east were lightening up.  It was 
> always gray in Cleveland; it was always dirty and gray.  No green, no 
> strong sun or warm days.  The weather was the exact mirror to Willow's 
> heart--frozen--the gray landscape was her soul--dirty.
>
>
>
> Dawn met her in the doorway of the apartment that she shared with Kennedy.  
> Willow had no memory of entering the building or walking downs the halls to 
> her room.
>
>
>
> "Willow?  Willow what are you doing?"  She looked down and for the first 
> time noticed that she had her suitcase lying on the bed and she was 
> throwing clothes into it.  She looked up into Dawn's stricken face, the 
> tears streaming down the teen's cheeks.  "Willow!  You can't go!  You can't 
> leave me ...."  Dawn continued to cry as she dashed up to the Witch.  
> "Please, Giles just called, Buffy will be fine.  Please Willow ...."
>
>
>
> She stood there numb.  Buffy would live, this time.  What about the next? 
> Kennedy was dead.  Tara was dead.  Everyone she loved dies.  Everyone.
>
>
>
> "Please talk to me!"  Dawn begged grabbing her arms.  "Please Willow!"  She 
> looked into Dawn's eyes and knew that there was nothing she could say, 
> nothing she could do. She had to go!
>
>
>
> She had no idea when Dawn let go of her and backed away into the corner of 
> the bedroom.  She only knew that her way was clear, so she picked up the 
> suitcase and her laptop and walked out.  She could feel Dawn following her 
> out of the building and finally, as she put her things in the tiny trunk of 
> the red sportster, she turned back to the teenager.
>
>
>
> The words wouldn't come.  She cleared her throat.... she could feel her 
> lips moving and yet no sound came out.
>
>
>
> "Email me?  You have my Hotmail?"  Dawn asked and it was all Willow could 
> do to nod her head as she climbed behind the wheel of Kennedy's car.  A car 
> her dead lover would never drive again.  A car that Kennedy had insisted on 
> buying for Willow because she needed to live a little ... a car that the 
> witch hated.
>
>
>
> The only thing she could remember thinking as she pulled onto the 
> interstate was that she needed to go east.  She had to leave Cleveland, and 
> California, behind her--she needed to go east towards the rising sun--a sun 
> that was permanently dark to the two loves in her life.  She had to go east 
> before she witnessed the death of her third and most important love--Buffy.
>
>
>
> If she didn't leave, if she didn't escape, then she would end up with Buffy 
> and when the Slayer died--for the last time--the world would end.  She 
> would destroy it.
>
>
>
>  Xander had been able to talk her down after Tara was murdered but nobody 
> would be able to stop her after Buffy died ... because as much as Xander 
> took credit for his yellow crayon speech it was Buffy that made her stop.
>
>
>
> The thought of never seeing the light in those hazel eyes or the way the 
> sun bleached her hair, that's what stopped her the last time.  Not Xander.  
> Not Giles.  Not the coven.
>
>
>
> Buffy.
>
>
>
> Willow came out of the memories with a start to find that she had Buffy's 
> jacket wrapped around her shoulders and the Slayer cradling her softly 
> against her chest as she cried.  She couldn't stop the words as they tore 
> out of her.  The images of that awful night pounding into her, filling up 
> her vision.  All she could see was the blood, the small hand with the stake 
> ..
>
>
>
> "I ... when I saw Kennedy with her fangs buried in your neck all I cared 
> about was you.  Kennedy was my lover, she had brought me back to life after 
> Tara . and all I cared about was you."  Willow gasped out the words between 
> the sobs.
>
>
>
> "I have to go; I have to get out of here ...."  She said, trying to pull 
> out of those very strong arms.
>
>
>
> "Shuss, no you don't."  Buffy whispered in her ear, stroking her hair.  "I 
> understand." She reassured the hacker.  "You don't know how much I really 
> do understand."
>
>
>
> Willow felt Buffy shift, then with an arm under her knees and another 
> around her shoulders, she was easily lifted up and carried down the stairs 
> into small cabin below.  The Slayer tenderly placed her on her bunk.
>
>
>
> "You're exhausted, you haven't slept in two days." The Slayer whispered 
> softly, stroking the wet hair off of Willow's hot face. "You need to rest 
> now. You need to sleep, I'll be here in the morning."
>
>
>
> "No, Buffy I'm sorry!"  Willow strained to sit up, only Buffy pushed back 
> down.  The Slayer's cool hand on her chest.
>
>
>
> "Will, there is nothing to be sorry about..."  The Witch watched as Buffy 
> looked away and took a deep breath. She could see the blonde's shoulders 
> shaking, she could hear her breath catch, the hand still on Willow's chest 
> was trembling.
>
>
>
> "No, you don't understand .."  Willow  said, she had to make Buffy 
> understand; she had too, even as the waves of exhaustion washed over her 
> making her sink into the bed.  She was just so sleepy.
>
>
>
>  "I do understand, Willow.  I understand because I love you, just as 
> much."  Buffy confessed, still facing away.  Then she looked at Willow and 
> with a small sad smile she added.  "Though, I can't end the world . it 
> would be the end of me if anything happened to you."
>
>
>
> Willow didn't know what to think, Buffy loved her too?  Her mind was so 
> fuzzy, and Buffy was fading in and out of focus.  Her hand covered Buffy's 
> hand that was still on her chest, and she picked it up and cradled it 
> gently.
>
>
>
> She was just so tired, so very, very, tired.  Sleep was coming fast and she 
> struggled to keep her eyes open.  She pulled Buffy's hand up to her face 
> and kissed it softly.
>
>
>
>  "We can talk more about this tomorrow or we can let it drop."  She heard 
> the Slayer say as she pulled her hand free.  Then she felt her shoes 
> carefully taken off and a light blanket draped over her.
>
>
>
> "It's up to you, Willow.  But right now you need sleep.  I'll watch over 
> you, don't worry."  Willow heard as sleep rose up and took her.
>
>
>
>  TBC....
>
> Bright Blessings,
>
> Ivy
>
> Loyalty to the country always, loyalty to the government when
> it deserves it.
> Mark Twain
>
> Feedback Matters!
>
> Click to feed a rescue Critter:
>
> http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites.woa
>
> My FanFiction:
>
> http://www.fanfiction.net/~ivygort

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"It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you."
Buffy & Willow, 'Choices'

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