Missing Scene From Dirty Girls

["ebailey140" <ebailey140@xxxxxxx>]

Title:  Missing Scene From Dirty Girls
Writer:  E
Rating:  PG-13
Category:  Comedy
Spoilers:  Um, Dirty Girls
Disclaimer:  Don't own 'em.  If I did, they wouldn't be in this
situation in the first place.
Summary:  Kennedy's possessive, Willow's touchy, Buffy just wants to
be touched, and Faith is really confused about what she's returned to.

The Living Room of Casa de Summers...

Faith:  Damn, B, you're so tense...

Buffy:  Yeah...  End of the world...  First Evil...  Lot of stuff
since you've been gone...

Faith:  Looks like you need some relaxation...  (flirty smile) 
Here...  (begins massaging Buffy's shoulders)  You always liked what I
could do with my hands...

Willow:  (rushes up)  OK!  Hold it RIGHT THERE!!!  

Faith:  Huh?

Buffy:  Sigh...  Here we go, again...

Willow:  I saw that flirty smile!  And that hands stuff!  No touching!
 Stop being all...  subtexty!

Faith:  Oh.  Look, Red, I'm not tryin' to come between you two, again...

Kennedy:  What?!!

Willow:  Nothing, sweetie...  

Buffy:  Yeah...  Not like there's been much to come between, lately...

Willow:  I said, STOP THAT!  Now!

Faith:  Um, problems between you and Red?

Willow:  Problems?!!!  Um, what problems could there be?

Faith:  Well, you're being all...  unaffectionate with B....  You used
to be all...  cuddly and touchy feely...

Buffy:  Yeah, she totally cut me off a long time ago...

Kennedy: (eyes narrowing)  What do you mean cut you off?

Willow:  Um...  Not cut her off in a sex way...

Kennedy:  You mean you're still...?

Willow:  NO!!!  No...  We never did that...  (to Buffy and Faith) 
There!  You SEE?!!  

Faith:  (still confused)  No...

Buffy:  Sigh...  Will and I used to hold hands, cuddle, just look into
each other's eyes for long moments...

Kennedy:  Really...

Faith:  So, what happened?

Willow:  Hello!  Gay now!

Buffy:  (sadly)  She met Tara, and that was that.

Faith:  Huh...  Never figured Tara for the possessive type...

Buffy:  That's just it!  She wasn't!  Unlike SOME people...  (motions
at Kennedy)

Buffy:  She hasn't even slept with me in years...

Kennedy:  WHAT?!!!

Willow:  Um...  By...  sleeping with her, she means...  sleeping with
her, not...  sleeping with her, as in, you know, sleeping with her in
a lesbian gay lovers kind of way...  Y'know, pajamas, sleepovers, all
innocent and non-sexual...

Faith: (smirks) That's her story and she's sticking with it.

Buffy:  Heh...

Willow:  (getting really angry, now)  I'm...  telling you...  one more
time...  Stop with the subtexty stuff!!!

Buffy:  I thought that last comment was pretty texty...

Faith:  You think?  

Willow:  (starting to get black eyes, now)  grr...

Faith:  OK, fine...  We'll stop threatening the Buffy wannabe, here...

Kennedy:  Hey!

Faith:  But, what's that got to do with me and B being subtexty?

Willow:  (flustered)  It has EVERYTHING to do with it!!!  Because, if
we remember how you two were, then we remember how I REACTED to your
subtexty stuff!!!  And then, given how especially close Buffy and I
were, we have to wonder about ME!

Faith:  Um, everyone knows you're gay...

Buffy:  Yeah, you just go ON about it, all the time, in case we forget...

Willow:  Exactly!!!  Since I'm gay, now, if we go back to being
especially affectionate, or even if YOU two do that...  stuff you used
to do...  then people will think I'm all...  in love with you.

Buffy:  Um, Will, they think that, already.  They've thought that for
years.

Willow:  (shaken)  All the more reason for you two to behave.  So, no
touching!  No subtext!  I'll be WATCHING you two!  Closely!

Faith:  (smirks)  Really?

Willow:  (flustered)  Not like that!  (retreats)

Faith:  Huh...  SOMEBODY needs her cork popped...

Buffy:  Hear, hear...

Willow:  I heard that!!!






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"I kinda love you."
Buffy & Willow, 'Choices'

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