Fic: Heroes and Lovers (1-2/?)

["another_soul_lost" <anotherlostsoul@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Heroes and Lovers
Author's Name:  anotherlostsoul
Author's Email and URL: anotherlostsoul@xxxxxxxxx,
http://www.hopelessdreams.com
Pairing: W/Buffy
Disclaimer:  Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and a lot of other people own
the show and all the characters.  The plot and the story are mine.
This cannot be sold or used for profit in any way, shape or form.
Please don't sue me, because I really don't have anything to take.
Rating: PG, but may vary by chapter.
Spoilers:  Set in season 4 of Buffy, so anything before that is fair game.
Summary:  Spike escapes the Initiative without being chipped.  How
will this affect the Scooby gang?
Author's Notes:  This is my first attempt at fanfic, so send me
feedback, please!  A big thank you to Filip Janik for his immensely
helpful beta-reading.

Chapter 1  A Fate Decided

Something felt very wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on
what.  Of course, the throbbing in her head and the desert that seemed
to have moved into her mouth and throat weren't really helping with
her concentration.  She felt something cold, rough and unyielding
beneath her, like she was lying on a stone surface.  Her eyelids felt
heavy, almost sticky and despite the fact that she had no idea where
she was, she was reluctant to open them yet.  She opened her mouth
slightly, drew a deep, ragged breath and exhaled slowly, the cool air
burning her throat, which felt raw and sore.  In that moment clarity
descended on Willow.  She hadn't been breathing&she didn't need to
breathe& 

In a rush, the night's events exploded into her mind.  She'd left the
party early, after trying to help Riley with Buffy.  Oh God, Spike had
come back, and he'd been in her dorm room!  He was going to&no, he
had, he'd bitten her, bled her.  Spike had killed her!  A brief rush
of panic tried to fill Willow, but it was strange, sort of surreal and
distant from her.  More like a memory of a feeling then something she
actually felt.  She was dead, yet she wasn't.  That could only mean
one thing.  Spike must have turned her.

But something didn't feel right.  She didn't feel&evil.  She thought
about all the things she'd seen vampires do and she got major wiggins.
She didn't want to do any of that&but if she really was a vampire&
then why not?  And how come? What was going on?  None of this made any
sense&

"Good, you're awake.  I was startin' to think I was sittin' with the
wrong corpse," came a man's voice with a heavy New York accent.  "If
you stayed dead much longer&well, let's just say I wouldn't have had
much hope for you ever waking' up."

Opening her eyes and sitting up slowly, Willow looked around.  She was
lying on top of a sarcophagus in a crypt.  Looking over she saw a man,
or at least something looked like a man, leaning against the wall of
the crypt opposite her.  There was something about him, his presence
felt different, almost creepy.  She blinked her eyes a few times
trying to focus and spoke, "You're not human&or at least I don't
think&I mean-I don't know&"

The man half-smiled and shook his head slightly as he spoke, "I know
things are confusing right now Willow.  The Powers that Be really
pulled a number on you and things are gonna be hard for a while.  My
name's Whistler, they sent me to help you through this."

"Help me through wh&The Powers?  But I'm not alive, and I'm not sure
what I am `cause I don't feel evil, but I should cause I think I'm a
vampire and I-I don't want to be some evil daemony thing&I'd rather
die then hurt people."  She could feel the tears welling up in her
eyes at the thought, `I'm vampire, oh God, no, please no&' It was just
too much to accept.  She broke down, sobbing tearfully.

"Hey, easy kiddo, you've been through a lot already and everything is
coming at you way too fast right now, but there's a lot more going on
here then you know."  Whistler walked over and sat next to Willow,
placing his hand on her shoulder, "Just take this all a step at a time
and it'll be okay."

The hand on her shoulder was warm and comforting.  A strange sense of
peace crept over her, as though something were draining away her fear
and doubt, leaving a sense of serene calm in its place.  Slowly her
sobs faded and her tears stopped.  He spoke again, "And vampires, the
kind you know about, they don't cry.  Not like that.  Not ever."

She looked him in the eye, confused.  "Then what am I Whistler?  And why?"
Whistler held her gaze for a moment.  Then he took his hand from her
shoulder and dropped it to his side as he spoke.

"You ever wonder why you were able to give Angel back his soul,
Willow?"  He stood up and moved away a little.  "It was a gypsy curse
and a very powerful curse at that.  A full-blooded gypsy witch
would've been hard pressed to cast that spell these days.  Ms.
Calendar couldn't have done it and neither could Giles, even though he
was quite the sorcerer in his day.  But you did.  Not a drop of gypsy
blood anywhere in you, but you cast the spell and it worked.  Why is
that?"

"What?  But the spell, it wasn't that difficult, it..." The confusion
in her voice was obvious.

"Willow, trust me.  That ritual may not have been complicated, but to
make it work took power, and a lot of it."  Whistler grinned at her,
"I was in Sunnydale at the time, and you surprised me when you
succeeded."  His face grew serious, "There was something special about
you, something deep and powerful.  That spell touched it and started
to change you."

"Special? Me&no&I'm-I'm not special, I'm just Willow, just...just&me."

Whistler shook his head slightly, "You were on your way to becoming
one of the most powerful witches this planet has ever seen Willow.
You just hadn't gotten there yet.  Now you're something&else.  The
spell you used to save Angel?  It changed you because you performed it
for all the right reasons.  For you, that curse wasn't an act of
vengeance it was an act of love.  You loved Buffy enough to give her
Angel back in spite of everything Angelus did to you and your friends.
In spite of how much you wanted her to be yours."  Whistler's smile
seemed sad as he watched her.  "That kind of love changes everything."

"But&what am I?  And what do I do now?"  Willow's voice was barely a
whisper as the tears welled up in her eyes again as she thought of
Buffy, and the effect her death would have on her best friend. 

"There's a lot of evil in this world Willow, a lot of pain and grief
and suffering.  Demon-kind exists all over the place and most of them
would be happy to pull the earth right down into the depths of a
hell-dimension and throw a big party afterwards.  And humankind ain't
exactly helping a lot either.  They're too busy with their own little
lives, too willing to sacrifice principles for power.  By and large,
they can't fight this battle, can't face the darkness."  He paused and
looked her in the eye before continuing, "So the Powers call
champions.  People like the Slayer and your friend Angel.  People like
you.  The champions stand against the evil and the world keeps turning."

"But what has that got to do with me?  I fought the good fight, I
helped the Slayer, I was a good person&" she swallowed hard, fighting
back tears.  "Wasn't I?"

"That's why I'm here."  Whistler reached out and gently raised
Willow's chin.  "Spike drained you and fed you his blood, tried to
make you his childe.  But it didn't work out that way.  Instead, here
we are.  The human girl that you were died tonight and there's nothing
that can change that now, but you don't have to become a monster.  The
Powers are willing to intervene.  They'll make you one of their
champions.  You won't be human, strictly speaking, but you won't be a
blood-sucking monster either.  You'll be something different and
powerful."

"Why?  Why are they offering this to me?"

"Do the reasons really matter?  You once told the Slayer that this was
a good fight; that fighting evil and helping people was worth doing
and you wanted in.  I'm offering you a way to get back in that fight,
if that's what you really want."  Whistler shrugged, "'Course, if you
don't want it, the Powers ain't gonna force the issue.  They'll let
your soul go on to its final rest, no harm done."

"And what will I have to do for them?  What's the catch?"

"No catch Willow.  You just keep doin' what you've been doing, help
the Slayer, keep the Hellmouth closed.  Fight the good fight."

"That's it?  Nothing else?"

"That's it kid."

She didn't hesitate, "It's still a good fight and I still want in.
What do I have to do?"

Whistler held his hand out to her.  "Just take my hand; the Powers
that Be will take care of the rest.

Willow grasped his hand and a blindingly brilliant white light surged
up around them, washing her into unconsciousness once more.


Chapter 2  Rebirth

Giles woke with a start. Someone was banging quite loudly at his door
and he thought he could hear someone calling his name from outside.
He rose quickly pulling his robe on as he headed downstairs to the door. 

"Giles!" A panic-stricken Buffy burst through the door, as he opened
it.  "Giles!  Willow's gone - something's happened to her!"

"Buffy, calm down, tell me what's happened?" Giles couldn't recall the
last time he'd seen Buffy upset like this.

"I got back to my dorm room after searching for Spike and Willow
wasn't there.  There was blood on her bed and it looked like there had
been a struggle.  I think&I think Spike may have taken her." 

Giles felt the blood drain from his face at the thought of Willow in
Spike's clutches.  "Oh, Dear God..."

"We have to find her Giles.  She has to be okay."  Her voice cracked
as she spoke, and Giles could see the tears welling up her eyes.

He turned and reached for the phone as he started talking, "I'll call
Xander, we'll start searching all of Spike's know hideouts.  You
should go to Willy's and see if you can find any information on his
whereabouts."

"Giles&" The pain in his Slayer's voice cut through him like a knife. 

It took every ounce of his emotional control to keep his voice calm
and steady.  Buffy needed him to be strong for her now.  "I know
Buffy.  We'll find her."

* * * * *

Spike strolled angrily through the cemetery.  `What the bloody hell
was that about? Why didn't Red turn like any other human would have?'
In 126 years, he'd never had any trouble with this before.
`Something's just not bloody right, she drank my blood, she bloody
well should have turned,' he thought.

Spike stopped and looked around suddenly.  Something strange was going
on.  He saw an incredibly bright flash of light coming from inside the
crypt where he'd stashed Red's body. `What the hell is that about?' he
wondered as began to run toward the crypt.

* * * * *

`What the hell was that?' Buffy thought as she noticed a brilliant
flash of light a short distance inside the graveyard.  She'd been
heading this way to search for signs of Willow and Spike on a tip from
Willy.  `It might be Willow!' Buffy broke into a sprint.

* * * * *

Spike threw open the door to the crypt and looked around quickly,
noticing immediately that all that was left in the crypt was a pile of
Red's bloodstained clothes.  Spike cursed disgustedly, "This is just
sodding wonderful, where the hell'd Red's body go?"

"Spike!" He heard a familiar voice call his name and turned to see
Buffy running up with a stake in hand.

"Well, if it isn't Slutty the Vampire Slayer.  What's the matter pet?
You manage to run another boy out of your bed already?" 

"Where's Willow?  What did you do with her?"  Buffy's voice was cold
and hard.  Spike smiled evilly as he realized just how much killing
Red had hurt the Slayer.

"Hmm, Willow& Oh you mean your little mate, about so tall with the red
hair, makes with the mojo?"  Spike held out his hand as though he was
showing about how tall Willow was.  "I found her in your room a bit
ago, she seemed sort of down, and I was feeling peckish&so I ate her."
Spike slipped into his game face.  "Thought she might appreciate
bein' put out of her misery.  And now I think I'll wash her down with
a Slayer."

"You sonuva&this ends tonight Spike.  You die for hurting Willow."

"Oh, I didn't hurt her Slayer.  She right enjoyed it, moaning and
squirming the whole time.  You remember what it's like, feeling the
teeth slide in.  Getting you all hot and wet as the demon at your
throat drinks your life away.  And that girl was something, tasted
like fear and strawberries she did, sweet to the last drop."  Spike
smirked, mocking her.  "But enough about her, if you really think you
can take the Big Bad, come on then, let's see what you've got."

Buffy lashed out with her fist catching Spike squarely in the face and
followed it with a jump kick to the chest that drove him back into the
crypt.  She moved fast, much faster then he expected.  For every
attack that he managed to block, she threw two more that he couldn't.
Attack after attack, she forced him backwards through the crypt
relentlessly.  He'd never seen any Slayer fight like this. `Bloody
hell,' he thought, `this is going to be bad.'  He struck out at the
Slayer, only to have her brush his fist aside, plant a step-behind
sidekick in his gut and slam him into the back wall of the crypt.
Spike's eyes went wide as the Slayer followed the kick with her stake
and he crumbled into dust. 

* * * * *

It was over.  Spike would never hurt anyone again.  Buffy stood over
the pile of dust for a moment, winded by the assault.  She'd been
clumsy; let her anger get the best of her.  As her breathing slowed
back to normal her mind cleared.  `Oh God, what if he was lying? I let
him provoke me, but Willow, she could be trapped somewhere'

Cold panic gripped her heart and she spun around looking for some
clue, some sign of where Willow might be.  `Please God, let her be
okay, let her be okay.'  Her eyes fell on a pile of clothes.  `Willow
wore those to the party earlier.  She's been here.'

"She was here; she's got to be close." Her voice sounded too loud in
her ears, even though she'd barely whispered.  `Look closer,' urged an
insistent voice at the back of her mind.

Slowly Buffy walked over to the clothes.  `Why would her clothes be
left like this?' she wondered.  There was something strange about the
way they were laying there.  Like Willow had just disappeared and her
clothes had been left behind.

Buffy swallowed hard and reached out, lifting Willow's blouse from the
pile and looking at it.  The front of the blouse was soaked with
blood. `No, Willow&no.' Buffy sank to her knees - it was too much
blood.  `It can't be, Willow can't be&please no.' Willow had to be
here, had to be somewhere close.

* * * * *

Willow stirred.  She could have sworn she heard Buffy's voice.  Pain
tore through her as she realized that Buffy was crying for her.  `Oh
God, Buffy needs me!' she thought.  She tried to move to open her eyes
and look for her friend, but her body wasn't responding.  She tried in
vain to open her mouth, to call out for Buffy, desperate to comfort
her.  `Buffy! It'll be okay, I'm alright!' she thought, wishing that
Buffy could hear her.

A deep, masculine voice echoed in Willow's mind, "Easy little one,
rest now, you'll be with your Slayer again soon."

`But she needs me,' Willow protested, `She's in pain because I'm not
there with her; she thinks I'm gone forever.  She doesn't know!'

"You always put her first, above all others.  The love you carry for
the Slayer is nothing short of miraculous little one, but the Slayer
must endure this for a short time so that she may truly know what it
is that she nearly lost."

Willow drew in a sudden breath as a warm feeling, unlike anything she
had ever known, enveloped her body.  Her skin began to tingle as the
warmth deepened to a heat and grew ever more intense until it felt as
though fire coursed through her veins.  It became pain unlike anything
she'd ever felt before and she longed to scream out.

"Be strong little one, your pain will pass quickly, but we must
cleanse the taint of the demon's blood from your body before you can
be reborn."

Mercifully, the pain began to ease, and Willow slipped back into
unconsciousness once more. 

* * * * *


`Three days,' Buffy thought as she lay curled up in Willow's bed in
their shared dorm room,  `you've been gone for three days Will and I
miss you so bad that it hurts to breathe.'  Hot tears slid down
Buffy's cheek onto Willow's pillow.  Reaching up, Buffy wiped at them
with her hand and sniffled. 

Willow's disappearance, and presumed death at the hands of Spike, had
devastated the Slayer.  Giles and Xander had found her in the remains
of the crypt where she'd killed Spike, crying into the bloodied shirt
Willow had been wearing the last time Buffy had seen her.  They'd had
to carry the sobbing Slayer back to Giles' car, drive her back to the
campus and carry her to her bed.  She hadn't left the room except to
use the bathroom since.  All she could bring herself to do was lie on
Willow's bed and think of her lost friend.

The loss had forced her to accept something she had long denied.
She'd been absolutely head over heels in love with her best friend for
as long as she could remember.  She could remember so clearly her
first day at Sunnydale High, when she'd talked to Willow for the first
time.  With her shy smile and obvious surprise that someone who could
have been one of Cordelia's sheep wanted to be her friend, Willow had
just made it so easy to fall in love with her.  But they'd never had a
chance: first there was Willow's crush on Xander and she was with
Angel, then Willow and Oz.  The timing had just never been right for
Buffy to tell Willow how she felt.  And even it had, there was nothing
to suggest that Willow ever felt anything but friendship for her, and
that friendship had been too important for her to risk losing it by
telling Willow how she'd felt.

"I-I miss you Willow," she whispered as she reached out and picked up
a picture of her Willow from the nightstand.  Holding the frame in one
hand, Buffy touched the image of her lost friend with the other.
"There were so many things I should have told you, things I was afraid
to say.  And now I'll never get the chance, because you're gone.  I-I
don't think I can do this without you&not anymore."  Buffy hugged the
picture to her chest and closed her eyes. `I love you Willow.' She
thought, `I've always loved you, I just wish I could have said it before.'

As she drifted toward a fitful sleep, Buffy felt a calm and comforting
presence in her mind.  And as she had so often dreamed before her
friend disappeared, Buffy heard Willow's voice say "I love you too Buffy."


"It is time little one.  Your transformation is complete and your
Slayer is ready for your return."

Willow was giddy with anticipation.  She could feel her new strength,
the power she had been given coursing through her, but that meant
nothing to her.  All she could feel was Buffy's continuing pain; her
anguish over losing Willow and it was killing her.  She wanted nothing
more in this world then to gather the heartbroken Slayer into her arms
and hold her until the pain stopped.  `I am ready,' Willow thought,
`send me back to her, please, she needs me.'

* * * * *

Buffy sat on Giles' couch hugging her knees as she stared at the
floor.  She knew that Xander was sitting close by, and Giles was in
the kitchen making tea, but she couldn't bear to look at either of them.

It was Xander who finally spoke, "I still can't believe she's gone.  I
just keep waiting for her to come through the door." His voice
cracked, "I mean, it's Willow, she can't be gone."

Giles spoke as he entered the room carrying a small tray, "She was
like no other."  As he sat down, he began pouring tea into cups for
the grieving Scoobies.

As Giles sat down, something strange happened.  A faint humming noise
started and the air in the room began to stir ever so slightly.  The
three Scoobies glanced around as a strange energy began to build in
the room, setting them on edge. 

"Giles?" Buffy asked, "What's going on?"

"I-I'm not sure Buffy," he replied.

"What the hell?" Xander practically yelped as blue sparks began
dancing along the floor of Giles' living room.  The sparks converged
together with a massive flash, startling and momentarily blinding
everyone in the room.  There was a distinct popping sound and the room
was flooded with a pungent smell of electrically burned air as the
flash faded to nothing.

Blinking furiously to clear their eyes, the mourning Scoobies looked
down to find a very naked Willow, lying on the floor, curled into a
fetal position on Giles' carpet.







"It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you."
Buffy & Willow, 'Choices'

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