Fic Tomorrow's Ecstasy

["slayer1252001" <slayer1252001@xxxxxxxxx>]

Tomorrow's ecstasy
Slayer1252001@xxxxxxxxx
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	Buffy knelt behind the tree looking at the face of her true 
love. Willow's face was drawn and haggard with pain etched deeply in 
each little wrinkle. Green eyes searched frantically for Buffy yet 
there was no sign of the blonde anywhere.

	Just as Buffy knelt down to pick up the large duffel bag a 
breeze drifted across her face. The heartbroken blonde could swear 
that the scent of the breeze belonged to Willow because there was the 
faint scent of strawberries with it. The Slayer closed her eyes and 
breathed deeply knowing she would not be getting to smell that scent 
again anytime soon. 

	Once again she reached to pick up the large duffel bag and 
saw a picture lying on top of it. There was a picture of Buffy and 
Willow leaning against a tree with their arms wrapped around each 
other. The Slayer remembered that day well. Xander had been the one 
to take the picture. And the two girls just constantly held each 
other both loving the comfort that they had received.

	Tears filled the Slayer's eyes at the thought of not ever 
holding Willow close again. The bell rang and all the students ran 
inside the doors of the school. Thinking it would be safe to head 
towards the bus station Buffy stepped out from behind the tree.

	"Why?" One question filled with so much heartbreak and Buffy 
knew immediately who was asking. The red head Wicca was sitting in 
the wheelchair at the top of the stairs, not believing the Slayer 
would leave the Scooby gang, leave her.

	Buffy walked across the street not able to deny her beloved a 
reason for the heartbreak they were both going to suffer through. The 
blonde had heard the question as if it had just been whispered in her 
ear.

	The sun was shining bright in Sunnydale at the moment but the 
two girls standing in front of Sunnydale High could find no comfort 
in the warmth of the day. The Chosen One knelt in front of the 
redhead and said "I have to Wills. I am too dangerous for you all."

	"Too dangerous Buffy? You have saved us so many times that I 
lost count and that's bad because I am a math whiz so if I lose count 
then that's bad yeah?" 

	Buffy had to smile at the babble but the seriousness was so 
very evident. She knelt down in front of Willow and took her 
trembling hand in her own. "Look at you though Wills. Angelus went 
for everything I hold dear and it was because of me. It was because I 
love you&" Buffy paused. "&all. I love you all."

	Willow closed her eyes trying to ignore the headache that was 
almost becoming blinding. "I can't do this Buff." The redhead mumbled.

	"I'll go Willow, I just wanted you to know that you did good. 
He was back."

	The redhead's emerald eyes flew open in shock. "I did? But, 
you're leaving? So we did good and you go?" There was confusion 
etched in the girl's expression.

	"I had to, ya know, it was too late." Buffy turned away and 
leaned on the railing trying to hide the tears. The feel of Willow's 
hand on her back was too much, a Slayer should not have feelings it 
was bad. 

	"I gotta&Wills, I gotta go." Buffy was panicking and it was 
so obvious. 
	
	"Can you help me home?" Willow asked quietly. If Buffy did 
indeed leave there was no way Willow would be able to face the rest 
of the day.

	"You are gonna miss class, Wills." It was hard to imagine her 
best friend actually missing a class.

	"Will you wait to leave until class is over?" There was a 
catch in the Wicca's voice but that was the only betrayal of emotion.

	Buffy looked around and shrugged. "I'll help you home." The 
blonde picked up Willow in her arms and warmth spread through both of 
them. Willow looked up into her best friend's eyes and realized that 
it wasn't just her best friend she would miss. Every night when they 
patrolled and Buffy left Willow standing in front of her door, 
everything was incomplete. The redhead would lie in her bed arms 
wrapped around her waist worrying that when they said goodbye that 
would be the last time they spoke. The only thought she had until she 
saw Buffy again was that maybe there was something bigger and badder 
the Slayer would encounter.

	Then the next morning when Buffy walked into the classroom, 
Willow's heart would return to a normal pace and the witch could 
breathe normal again. She was shaken out of her reverie as Buffy sat 
her down on the bottom step and ran back up the stairs to get 
Willow's wheelchair. 

	How could someone not admire the way the Slayer's muscles 
rippled as she moved? Buffy was wearing her overalls and a hooded 
sweatshirt but even that made her appear gorgeous. 

	"I so did not even think that." Willow mumbled to herself.

	"Think what Wills?" Buffy asked as she placed the wheelchair 
down on the ground.

	"Nothing, just doin' a lot of thinking, ya know. It isn't 
everyday you have to convince your best friend not to abandon you to 
be vamp bait." 

	"So not fair Wills. You don't understand what it is that I 
have to do. You can't know what it is like to have to kill someone 
who you trusted your heart to." Buffy wiped a stray tear away and 
bent and picked Willow up, placing her in the chair. 

	Willow groaned as her headache intensified. It was like the 
pounding in her head was going to cause a massive explosion. She 
covered her eyes with her hands trying to block the sunlight out. A 
tear crept down her cheek but the witch was not sure whether it was 
the pain in her head or heart that caused the tears.

	"Wills??? Willow???" Buffy's voice was frantic. "Are you ok? 
Do you need to go to the hospital?"

	"No Buffy just take me home then you can go&do whatever it is 
you need to do."

	The Slayer was far from convinced that Willow was okay but 
caring for her seemed to ease the terrible pain that was eating away 
at her soul. It wasn't just killing the man who she thought she could 
never live without; it was the knowledge that she could love someone 
who sought to destroy everything she held dear.

	Buffy and Willow walked underneath the tree's shadows. The 
two girls seemed to be embraced by the welcoming arms of nature. 
Leaves swayed gently to and fro as the wind caressed their skin. So 
many thoughts ran through both girls' minds as they walked. 

	Buffy glanced down and noticed Willow's eyes were closed and 
her breathing was deep. One would assume the young Wicca was sleeping 
but that was far from the truth. The redhead was basking in the 
comfort that only Buffy could provide, she also was thinking if the 
Slayer left her life would never be complete.

	Buffy stopped in front of Willow's house and wondered if this 
would be the last time she would see it. So many emotions tearing 
through her mind, Buffy felt as confused as ever.

	"Can you help me in Buffy?" The redhead's voice cut through 
the silence.

	"You know I am Wills." After a few minutes Willow had been 
settled into her bed and Buffy stood nervously beside her.

	"You can sit down Buffy." The Wicca said patting the bed 
beside her.

	"I&uhmmmm...I should go Wills&yeah." Buffy hung her head, 
which was now hidden behind a veil of blonde hair.
	
	"Please don't Buffy. I know it was hard what you had to do 
but I really need you here."

	Willow reached out a trembling hand knowing this might be a 
turning point in both girls' lives.

	"For what Wills? Huh? Do you think I could possible live with 
myself if something happened to you???? Look at Giles he lost the 
woman he loved because I couldn't control my fucking hormones."

	Willow reached out a hand and it felt so good as I felt her 
warm flesh against my skin. I was so cold it felt like I was dying. I 
look down and saw her flesh against mine one is white the other a 
golden tan. 

	"Buffy, look at me please." The words were whispered softly, 
begging. Willow waited until pain filled hazel eyes met her own. The 
witch ran her hand down Buffy's arm until the two girls' fingers 
intertwined with each other. "Sit down please Buffy." After a brief 
hesitation Buffy sat on the side of the bed and hung her head.

	"I loved Jenny Buffy, but she knew that you were in a 
relationship with Angel. It was so obvious that you two would take 
the next step in your relationship. Jenny knew what the happiness 
clause was and yet she never said a thing so please tell me how her 
death is your fault."

	Buffy thought about it and looked at her best friend. "But 
what about you? How can it not be my fault that your hurting and in 
pain?"

	"Buffy if you never believe one word I say then please 
believe this, the pain you see now will not be anything compared to 
what I will be in if you leave." Willow wiped a stray tear away. "You 
are my best friend Buffy, to know that I can stand beside you and 
help protect the world everyday is amazing to me." Willow brushed a 
stray blonde hair away. "To be able to help protect you and know your 
safe every night is my sanity. Don't take that away from me Buffy."

	The blonde knew that the thought of being away from Willow 
tore away her very soul but how could she stay and keep placing them 
all in danger time and time again.

	Buffy stood up trying to distance herself. "And what about 
you Willow? What about the fact you could die anytime just because I 
care about you." She turned around "What if I can't save you?"

	Willow wished she could get out of that bed and just hold 
Buffy. "And what if you aren't here Buffy. We are already associated 
with you so you know that there will always be someone hunting us so 
wouldn't we be safer with you here."

	Buffy saw the pinched brow and knew that Willow was in 
pain. "Why are you trying so hard to keep me here Wills?"

	After thinking long and hard Willow decided it was time to be 
honest. "Because I can't imagine my life with you not in it. Making 
fun of my babble and bring me a double mocha every morning to school. 
I need you Buffy and it scares me because I think..."

	Willow stopped herself hating that she had to hide this part 
of herself.

	"Think what Wills?" Buffy arched her eyebrow.

	"I can't tell you Buffy cus you would hate me and hate is bad 
so I shouldn't say anything cus no hate here nope not at all."

	Buffy smiled for the first time since the night before.

	"Babble much?"

	"Idon'twannasayanything because 
iloveyouandiknowyoudon'tloveme."

	Buffy almost fell over in shock. Surely her best friend did 
not just say that.

	"Love in the best friend way right?" Buffy asked kneeling on 
the floor next to the bed. 
	"Love as in I want to be with you until forever." Willow 
whispered closing her eyes. She didn't wanna see the hate that would 
cloud Buffy's gorgeous eyes.

	"Willow, don't joke with me." Buffy's voice choked on a sob. 

	"I know you don't feel the same Buffy and you can forget I 
said anything if you want. I just thought you should know why I don't 
want you to go."

	Willow laid down on the bed and pulled the cover over her 
head, now Buffy had every reason to leave. She felt the bed shift as 
the blonde sat down beside her. 

	Buffy pulled the blanket back and saw the tears running down 
Willow's face. She leaned over and brushed her lips across the 
redhead's neck. "I feel the same." She whispered. "And I want you by 
my side and I will protect you."
	
	Willow sniffed and opened one eye afraid to believe this 
could possibly be happening. She pulled the blonde down behind her 
and the two began to spoon both drawing comfort from the 
nearness. "How long Buffy?"

	"Huh?" The Slayer ran her fingers through Willow's red hair 
that was as soft as the green grass of summer, without the stickers.
	
	"How long have we wasted? Both wanting each other and never 
admitting it."

	
	"I don't know about you but I loved you since the first time 
I saw you."

TBC











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"It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you."
Buffy & Willow, 'Choices'

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