Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned and
copyrighted by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Warner Bros., and 20th Century
Fox Television. I do not claim ownership; I just want to rent the
characters and their lives for a few hundred paragraphs. ?Torn Apart?
(from the album Darkest Days) is copyrighted by Stabbing Westward, Columbia,
and Sony Entertainment.
Summary: Death. Lots of it. Not for
those who weep easily.
Spoilage: ?Primeval?
Warning/Rating: This fic series is rated R for descriptions
of extreme violence.
Distribution: Considering I don't have time to do
a website, just ask.
Explanation: After the Songfic challenge, I had
debated doing one. Personally, I don?t care for them. Last
night, I was in a rather bad funk, and had put this CD in. I was
thinking about my series (big surprise), and the combination of the two
spawned this nightmare. I?d say enjoy, but?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer ? Torn Apart
Songfic by Phoen Dusk
The key turned in the lock, opening the door to our room. Our room. The thought made me kneel down on the floor, crying fresh tears over the death of my roommate. Earlier in the day, we had decided to take out Adam by bringing the fight to him. We had been so wrong. The girl ? no, the woman ? I had told I loved in the elevator, though not revealing how deeply, was now gone.
I know I should have told you
I was so afraid you?d leave
I had been in love with her for years, practically since the day we met. The first time I had seen her beautiful smile had clinched it. After that, all I could think about was how delicious those lips must have tasted. I would chastise myself for thinking that way, especially when I saw her kissing someone else. Jealousy had reared its ugly head in me quite often during her relationships, but I had my own, though they were all poor substitutions for her.
And now there?s nothing left to say
Well nothing you?d believe
While in the security room, I had wanted to reach out and hold her hand. I felt the need to comfort and be comforted in return, but I had denied myself. Giles and Xander had been in the room, as well as a small group of Initiative soldiers. Even at a time like that, I was worried about embarrassing her. I could have leaned over and whispered the three small words I meant to say in her ear before we went to the hidden lab, but that would have skewed our focus in the coming battle. In the end, it probably wouldn?t have made a difference? except maybe to me.
I never meant to hurt you with
The things I couldn?t say
Starting across the compound, the majority of the demons
had turned their attention towards our group. The four of us gave
everything we had, covering each other?s backs whenever possible.
Giles had given up all semblance of civility, and the behavior that contributed
to the nickname ?Ripper? came to the forefront. He had carved a rather
impressive swath through the horde of monsters, but he had been cut-off
from the rest of us, then overwhelmed by three vampires and a Chaos demon.
I can still remember his screams as they tore into his flesh, cutting his
cry short as one of the vampires ripped out his throat.
Xander had gone utterly commando after that. He
began firing the blaster repeatedly, draining the power cell completely,
then continued to use it as a makeshift club until he spotted something
atop one of the Humvees. Jumping into the vehicle, he climbed into
the rollcage, and proceeded to deliver hot, blazing lead from the gattling
gun mounted there. He managed to clear a path ahead for us, killing
demons and incapacitating vampires as we headed towards the door.
I remember looking back as he, too, was overwhelmed, though he pulled the
pin on a grenade he had picked up somewhere before he died. The resulting
explosion destroyed the Humvee, as well as taking out two dozen of the
bastards that had cost us our friends.
We made it inside the room, and had a short cry over our
loss. There was no way to perform the spell now, and we debated the
virtue of continuing our assault. I should have told her how scared
I was of losing her; of never showing her what she meant to my life.
I promise you tomorrow while
Denying you today
We both decided that there was no way we were going to let their deaths be in vain, and started walking towards the entrance to the secret lab. I should have kissed her then, but I was still too afraid of what she might say. I told myself that when this was over, I would sit her down and tell her everything.
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
A darkness grows inside me
In fading shades of grey
When we reached the first lab, Riley was already dead.
Forrest was removing his skullcap, and the reanimated corpses of the two
doctors advanced on us. We quickly beat them back, removing the tube
feeds from them and forcing them down Forrest?s throat. Who knew
the concoction would be fatal to his demonic grafts? I took pleasure
in watching him ? no, watching the thing that had replaced Forrest ? slowly
deteriorate into a puddle of flesh. We said a small prayer for Riley,
hoping that his soul had moved beyond the pain and indignities his body
was suffering.
Then we went after Adam.
All the colors of the world
Are slowly sucked away
He smiled when he saw us. His right arm changed into
a gun similar to the one Xander had used earlier, and I stared in excessive
disbelief as he leveled the weapon at us. I felt myself being shoved
out of the way as he opened fire, and felt a warm, sticky liquid strike
my arms and face in the next moment. Thinking I had been hit, I turned
to see what kind of damage had been done. My shirt was covered in
blood, and a large puddle was slowly expanding on the floor. I was
in no pain, and as my eyes followed the pool, I swallowed hard, trying
to deny what I saw.
She was dead. She had pushed me out of the way to
save my life. Her chest had? the sight of her defiled body made me
want to retch. The woman who meant more to me than my own soul was
gone, taken without ever knowing how I felt; taken from a world that never
truly understood the nuances of her persona; taken from me by this patchwork
monstrosity.
I?m sinking ever deeper
To a place that?s cold and black
Adam still had that fucking smile on his face, only he
had it directed solely towards me, now. Then he had the nerve to
speak.
?Interesting. She sacrificed herself for you.
A shame that neither of you understood that you could not defeat me.
Still, your contributions to my project will be greatly appreciated.?
I lost it. I screamed in pure rage and hatred and
leapt towards him with a speed I didn?t know was possible. The thought
of him turning her into some freak like Forrest and himself was too much.
Somehow, I sank both of my hands into his chest, just below where his xyphoid
process would have been. He looked down at me, and for the first
time, I think he was beginning to experience apprehension. The look
of complete shock, when I ripped his chest open like wrapping paper, simply
fueled my revenge.
?This is not possible.?
I continued to show him how incorrect he had been, as
I dug my hands into the exposed joints of his right shoulder, removing
his arm and discarding it on the floor. I repeated the process with
the left arm, then proceeded to stick my hand in the knotted ball of intertwined
human and demon muscle that comprised his neck.
?Wanna see how possible it is, you sonovabitch?
You killed the woman I loved. This is just payback!? I took
his head clear off, pulling out yards of electrical wiring from his spinal
column, cutting him off from his power supply. Then it was over.
I can?t believe I?ve lost you
And you?re never coming back
That was the first time I fell to my knees, placing myself
next to her body. I began to cry, cradling her lifeless body to mine,
not even noticing the amount of blood that was running down my shirt, over
my lap, down my legs, and onto the floor. She was gone. I screamed
in agony, though no one was around to hear me. I stood from the floor,
carrying her body in my arms, and made my way towards the door. Adam?s
body still contained the nuclear power cell; I could have cared less if
it decided to detonate, or fell into some terrorist's hands.
She was dead, and nothing would bring her back.
I gently laid her on one of the tables in the lab room, and found a small
stash of gasoline back in 314. Returning to the autopsy table, I
poured it generously over her body, then trailed it to the room?s concealed
entrance. I said my final good-byes as I lit the fuel, then watched
as the flames consumed her corpse. I knew she would have wanted it
this way, rather than to be left to be further defiled by the demons in
the compound.
Somehow, I managed to walk out of the Initiative?s complex
without encountering a single being, human or otherwise. More than
likely, all the soldiers had been killed, and the beasts were out to wreak
some havoc on Sunnydale?s populace. I didn?t care. Eventually,
I made it back to our room, not even bothering to close the door behind
me as I broke down.
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Soon the night will take me
And save me from my pain
Rising from my knees, I walked over to the weapons chest
and pulled out one of the daggers inside. The blade had been sharpened
recently, and I moved to my bed to let it perform one last task.
The demons are going to overrun Sunnydale within a matter of days.
Nothing I do will be able to prevent that, though I might slow them down
a little. Now that they?ve learned to work together, the armies they
can raise up will be too powerful to handle by myself.
My friends are gone. My beloved is gone. All
that awaits me is a lifetime of bitterness and suffering, trying to replace
what I once had. I don?t want that.
I laid down on the bed, holding the knife in both hands
above my chest. I whispered a quiet prayer that whomever is up there
will forgive me for having failed her, both in life and in love.
With that, I plunged the blade into my heart, burying six inches of steel
up to the hilt.
Cloak me in cold darkness
And help me lose your name?
Strange how things don?t feel like you expect them to.
I could hear the blood in my arteries slowing. I could feel the blood
seeping from beneath my shirt. I could almost smell her as our blood
intermingled, and I wondered, for the last time, why I never told her how
I felt.
My sight started to fade, and the room suddenly dropped
thirty degrees. In a way, this was fitting. Sunnydale was about
to go straight to Hell, or, more precisely, Hell was coming straight out
of Sunnydale. Either way, let the next Slayer handle it. Let
her find friends, then watch helplessly as they die. I didn?t want
to exist in a world without my beloved. I?d join her on the other
side, instead.
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
<*>
When Tara spotted the girls? door wide open, she decided
to stop in and see if Willow was around. The sight that greeted hed
as she peered in the doorway caused her to hyperventilate, as she struggled
to find enough breath to scream. Taking a tentative step into the
doorway, she finally found her voice, and the banshee wail begins to draw
a crowd of students. They stared in utter silence, not knowing what
to say to the blonde girl kneeling next to a bed, whispering something
no one can hear to the redhead with a knife sticking out of her chest.