FF: NKA part 5

["Christeen Demons" <Shyfox30@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Disclaimer: The Buffy characters belong to Joss...the Voyager characters 
belong to Paramount...none of them belong to me...unfortunately.:-)

Chapter 5

Buffy?s argument with Willow gnawed at her like a sore tooth all the way to 
Willie?s bar...and by the time she got there, she was about ready to kill 
someone...or something. Flinging open the door, she barreled inside 
leveling her icy blue eyes on the undead denizens of the bar. They took one 
look at the pissed off Slayer, and cleared their tables, edging out past her 
and through the door. If she hadn?t been so consumned with her anger, she 
might?ve thought the rapid clearing of
the place was funny. But all she could think now was that even the 
creatures of the night didn?t want to be around her...not that she could 
blame them any.

Willow?s words to her had stung, partly because she felt they had a ring of 
truth to them, but she supposed she deserved it for the things she had said 
to her.

?Great, Slayer. Once again, you scare away my customers.? Willie 
complained, starting to wipe up his bar with a dirty washrag. Buffy glared 
at him as she sauntered up to the bar. ?Shut up and
give me a beer, Willie.? She sighed, grimacing in disgust as she sat down 
on a dirty stool. She had given up drinking beer since the ?Cave Slayer? 
incident, but the moment seemed to call for it, so she decided she?d deal 
with any possible consequences later.

?Are you sure your old enough to drink?? Willie questioned her 
suspiciously. The blue eyes lifted to glare menacingly into his and he 
gulped noticeably. ?Right...one beer for the Slayer, coming up.? He 
hurriedly poured the requested beverage from the tap and handed over the 
foamy liquid to the Slayer, watching wide-eyed as she drank it down in 
several large gulps.

?Again.? The glass hit the counter with a loud thump, as she requested a 
refill. This one was filled and drank in the same manner, and the Slayer 
requested a third one. She didn?t guzzle this one down though, simply 
staring at the amber liquid as if she were searching for the meaning of life 
in the tiny bubbles.

?What?s the matter, Slayer? You look like somebody ate your puppy.? Spike, 
who had just come out of the men?s room and noticed the rather depressed 
Slayer sitting at the bar and decided to have some fun with her.

Buffy growled at the sound of his voice, closed her eyes and counted to 
three, hoping that when she opened them again he?d be gone...but he was just 
sitting on the stool next to her, grinning like a mad Englishman. ?What do 
you want Spike?? She asked, a less than tolerant tone to her voice.

?I just couldn?t help but notice how terrible you look. An unhappy Slayer 
is a dead Slayer...I should know, that?s how I got to two of them.? Spike 
let a predatory grin flash across his face. ?I just wanted to know how I 
could help.?

A sardonic look passed over the Slayer?s eyes. ?Yeah, right.? She answered 
shortly.

?All right, then. Just don?t say I didn?t warn you when you feel the life 
being drained from your neck.? Spike replied, getting up from the stool. 
?Just sit here and wallow in your own self-pity. It?s worked wonders for 
me.? He dropped a crinkled bill on the bar, and watched in slight amusement 
as Willie snatched it up and put it in his register...it wasn?t often that 
his customers were paying, after all.

Buffy watched Spike as he walked out the door and disappeared into the 
darkness beyond, then she shook her head. ?Idiot.? She muttered under her 
breath, before taking another sip from the bubbling brew.

She sat there quietly, trying not to think, period, when the song that 
played on the juke box in the corner captured her attention, and she groaned 
at the slow sad quality to the tune.

I still remember the night we met.
You said you loved my smile.
But your love for me was like a summer breeze.
Oh, it lasted for a while.
I could hold on a little tighter I know.
But when you love someone,
you?ve gotta let ?em go.

?Ugh...Country. Don?t tell me your regulars are Country/Western fans.? 
Buffy said, grimacing at the emotions the words she heard evoked.

?What can I say? They love all forms of human suffering.? Willie grinned. 
Buffy raised a pale eyebrow at that, but she didn?t answer, listening to the 
tune on the juke box intrigued.

So, I?m gonna smile.
Cause I want to make you happy.
Laugh, so you can?t see me cry.
I?m gonna let you go in style.
Even if it kills me.
I?m gonna smile.

Would it kill her, Buffy wondered to herself, to pretend to be happy for 
Willow. Did she really have to hurt her by actively disliking Tara without 
even revealing the reason why? This guy seemed to have the right idea.

Kiss me once for the good times baby.
Kiss me twice for good bye.
You can?t help how you don?t feel.
And it doesn?t matter why.
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully.
Cause that?s how I want you to remember me.

She wondered to herself what it would hurt if she went back and told Willow 
the truth, apologizing for her previous behavior first, of course. She 
didn?t expect Willow to return the feelings, in fact, she doubted that the 
Wiccan would, but it might be their only chance to clear the air between 
them, and then Buffy could possibly let go as gracefully as the guy in the 
song did.

On the courage built on three beers and a song, Buffy got up from the stool, 
swaying slightly as the blood rushed to her head for a beer induced moment, 
before ambling nonchalantly out of the bar. Willie watched until the 
slightly inebrieated Slayer was out of sight, then shook his head muttering 
quietly to himself about crazy Slayers before he turned his attention back 
to cleaning up the bar.





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