FIC: Life on My Block (1-7/7) Beta Version

["Red Demon" <eternal_light2000@xxxxxxxxx>]

A very special thanks to Julie for beta reading this:):)

********************************************************************

Buffy sat with her back to the cold brick wall in the four by ten 
foot box that had become her home. She brought a freshly lit 
cigarette to her mouth. Small tremors ripped through her left hand 
as she exhaled.

Buffy switched the tape over quickly with her good hand. It was a 
skill she had perfected last week. The lesser the noise around her, 
the better off she was. Somehow listening to Devon's voice and
Oz's guitar playing helped her forget the past fourteen years for 
just a few minutes.

A sketch pad sat beside her waiting for her to mark its unblemished 
surface. Another masterpiece, or so Willow called them. She would 
visit every two months to leave new canvases and take the drawings to 
sell at Joyce's gallery. She could have made quite a living on
the outside. Instead half the money went to Joyce, as an apology, to 
pay for the court fees and medical bills. The other half went to 
Willow as financial backing for raising Kat.

Willow. She almost smiled when she thought of her. She'd been 
Buffy's only regular visitor in the years since she'd been 
convicted. Why Willow continued to visit her was beyond her 
knowledge. She didn't deserve to be visited; in fact, she had
begged Willow to stop coming, but Willow refused to listen to her 
pleas. She filled her in on the happenings in Sunnydale. She told 
her how Kat was growing up to be a fine young adult. She told her of 
the eight slayers since Kendra's murder that had died so young. 
Willow kept her filled in on the newest slayer who had so far managed 
to stay alive longer than any of the other slayers since that 
night... Not that she'd be able to help the new slayer even if
her newest appeal to the courts happened to be successful. The 
prison guard had made sure of that when he conveniently missed his 
intended target.

Buffy's eyes snapped open at the familiar squeal of the food
cart. A tier guard shoved what the prison liked to call food into 
her cell. She didn't move from her position at the back of the
room as Devon's voice sang about a fair skinned red-headed
beauty. Oz
had written that song for Willow just a few months before their 
breakup.

Buffy turned off the tape player and did the only thing she knew how 
to do anymore. She lit another cigarette.

********************************************************************

Buffy stared at the wall that separated her from the outside. Jagged 
barbed-wire lined the top. She wondered what those on the outside 
were doing.

Was Oz traveling to his next concert or making public appearances?

Was Xander safe wherever the army had shipped him to? She hoped that 
he was stuck behind some office desk but seriously doubted it. 
According to the radio there was a war brewing in the Middle East.

Was Willow trying to save another dying person at Sunnydale General 
Hospital? Buffy smiled. Willow had the kindest heart. Even after 
all she'd been through, Willow was still an innocent soul.

Was Giles buried under a pile of books trying to decipher the newest 
prophecy?

She wondered if she would ever see the outside again. No, probably 
not. Not with the mayor of Sunnydale being a demon with 
connections. He had made sure that she would never be in his way 
again.

Buffy chuckled. He forgot about Kendra's replacement. So long Mr. 
Mayor. It didn't really matter because the damage had been done. 
The clock on her life had started clicking when the police had hand-
cuffed her in the hospital shortly after giving birth to Kat.

"I'll see you in hell," she muttered, turning away from the wall and 
back to the body's jammed into the exercise yard.

********************************************************************

"Sit over there. She'll be out in a minute." The prison guard led 
Willow into the meeting room.

As Willow looked around, she saw several of Buffy's drawings as well 
as those of other inmates. She had been surprised when Joyce had 
shown her some of Buffy's drawings from when she was in L.A. In the 
two years that she had known Buffy before her conviction, she hadn't 
even realized that Buffy could draw. She was extremely surprised at 
how good the drawings were.

The familiar buzz of the door opening brought Willow out of her 
thoughts. Buffy was lead in by two guards. One had a tight grip on 
her left arm the other held firmly to her right shoulder. Willow 
thought they were a little too rough with her but then they always 
were like this. "Policy's policy," they told her every
time she complained.

Buffy looked a lot worse then the last time she had seen her. She 
had definitely lost too much weight. Dark circles hung under her 
eyes making them look sunken. Willow also thought she saw something 
else in Buffy's eyes but couldn't quite identify it.

"Are they feeding you here?" Willow watched as Buffy bent her head 
towards her waist and her left wrist which was cuffed to a belt 
around her waist. She put a cigarette in her mouth and then lit it. 
Willow thought about warning Buffy on how smoking could kill a 
person, but decided not to, considering where Buffy had spent twelve 
years of her life. "Are you eating what they give you?"

"Sometimes."

She nodded towards Buffy's right arm, schooling her face to remain 
passive like she'd been taught in medical school. The arm ended just 
above the elbow. An accident the state had called it. Willow didn't 
know what was accidental about a guard missing a target some five 
feet away. But that was in the past and her Buffy had lost her right 
arm in the process.

"Do you still have pain?" The arm looked better than the last time 
she had seen it. Most of the swelling had gone away completely, 
leaving jagged, puffy scars.

"Sometimes at night." Buffy shrugged, they'd give her aspirin but 
that was it.

"What about the phantom pains?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I get 'em." Her arm was something she didn't want 
to think about yet, and definitely didn't want to talk 
about. "Where's Kat? I thought she was coming."

Willow looked down, not wanting to see Buffy's reaction. "She didn't 
want to come. The kids at school have been saying things to her 
since the last appeal picked up the media buzz."

"Oh...I see." Buffy lit another cigarette. She blinked several 
times to keep the tears that wanted to form from happening. She 
would not cry. The only time that she'd cried in a long while was 
when the bullet had shattered her elbow. "You know they set an 
execution date." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. They called your mom. They asked about the funeral 
arrangements. She was pretty upset."

"I'll bet." Buffy couldn't help but chuckle. Her mom had kicked her 
out of the house a long time ago and it was no secret that she 
thought Buffy was guilty of Kendra's murder. She wouldn't even help 
Willow raise Kat.

"Buffy," Willow scolded, "She is upset. Her only daughter will be 
led to her death in a month if the parole board hearing isn't 
successful."

Buffy leaned in close to Willow's ear. "I'm not her only daughter. 
Hell, I'm not even her biological daughter."

"What?"

"Mom had a girl. When she was three she died. They weren't 
successful when they tried again so they adopted me. I overheard it 
all shortly before mom and dad separated."

"Wrap it up." The guard told them.

"I brought you some more drawing pads and batteries and Oz made a 
tape of that song you wrote." Willow took Buffy's hand. "I love you 
Buffy. Giles is going to find a way. Okay?"

Buffy smiled at Willow's sincerity. She didn't deserve to hear those 
words. "I lo...tell Kat that I love her and there's a drawing for 
her." She called over her shoulder as the guards jerked her out of 
the room.

********************************************************************

She was last shift to take a shower so all of the other inmates had 
already had theirs. The water beat down on her shoulders and she 
shivered slightly. Ever since Willow's visit she couldn't seem to 
get warm. Willow's firm statement that Giles would find a way to 
prove her innocence should have been reassuring to her but it wasn't.

What if her parole was denied? She would have a week to try and make 
peace with the man above. Buffy knew she didn't really have anything 
to make peace about. Kendra was murdered by a crazed vampire, but 
she couldn't tell anyone that. They would laugh at her and call her 
desperate or insane.

Buffy watched as the last of the water ran down the drain, then 
grabbed a towel. The buzz on the block had picked up greatly in the 
past couple of days. Some of the inmates would look at her and then 
whisper to those standing near them, just like Cordy and her friends 
did in high school. Those that she did allow to be close to her told 
her that they were praying for her. She wanted to tell them that 
she'd need more than their prayers.

The guards led her into her cell. Once the hand-cuff was taken off 
she sat on the cot and picked up the tape Oz had made for her. She'd 
asked him to take a glance at a song she'd written five years back. 
She'd never expected him to make a tape of it. Sighing, she lay down 
on the cot her arm pillowing her head. Oz's soft strum of the guitar 
filled her ears, blocking out the thoughts of the parole hearing 
tomorrow.

"We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight, and yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find, yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead."

********************************************************************

In the darkest hole
You'd be well advised 
Not to plan my funeral before the body dies
Come the morning light
It's a see-through show
What you may have heard and what you think you know.

Buffy felt the eyes of those sitting in the folding chairs behind her 
pierce into her back. She could feel the hatred penetrating from 
some... love from others. She felt an incredible sadness and despair 
deep down inside her.

This was it. Her moment of truth.

Would she get parole? Or would her life end in seven days? She 
tried to concentrate on what her lawyer was saying but her thoughts 
were everywhere. She hadn't slept much last night. Every time she 
closed her eyes she remembered that night.

"...Buffy Summers is not a murderer. You have heard several 
testimonials that back this." Her lawyer walked up to the podium in 
the middle of the room. "Of all the witnesses, one placed her in the 
area of the crime. This one witness has a known vendetta against my 
client. No murder weapon was discovered, no fingerprints found on 
the victim matched those of my client, and yet she was convicted in 
four days..."

The lawyer stood in front of the board. "My client was seventeen, a 
junior in high school, at the time. She has spent fourteen of her 
thirty-one young years behind these very walls. If you choose to 
continue with the execution of Buffy Summers you will not be bringing 
back a life, but adding a death."

The prosecutor stood up. "Fourteen years ago, a young woman was 
murdered by Buffy Summers. Her throat was slit and she was left to 
die in a high school library, a place where hundreds of young kids go 
to learn. Buffy Summers has had a lengthy court review, as well as 
several appeals. There has never been a doubt in the court's
mind as to who committed this murder..."

The prosecutor looked at Buffy before turning back to the 
board. "The victim's family will never their daughter grow up
and get married. They won't have any grandchildren... Imagine 
yourselves in the place of this family. Find your backbone and 
precede with the execution of Buffy Summers."

Time and space never ending
Disturbing thoughts, questions pending
Limitations of human understanding
Too quick to criticize
Obligation to survive
We hunger to be alive.

After awhile she'd lost track of time. Her lawyer told her the more 
time the board took, the better her chances.

When the doors finally opened and the board came in, her heart 
started pounding so fast she thought she was having a heart attack. 
She was overcome with dizziness and had to force herself to look at 
the men and women in front of her. They held her fate.

The board member in the middle picked up the microphone. "It is the 
finding of this board that clemency be denied to Buffy Summers. 
Execution will be carried out one week hence."

She thought she heard her lawyer say that he'd make appeals to the 
state and federal courts but she couldn't really hear anything but 
Willow crying.

As the guards led her out of the room, several people whispered about 
justice finally being served. They led her past Giles, Willow and 
Kat. Giles tried to comfort Willow. He had aged since she'd last 
seen him; his hair was now completely gray and his lips were drawn 
into a line tight with worry. She noticed that neither her mother 
nor her father was present.

Kat looked down when she glanced at her. Buffy knew that, no matter 
what, she'd find a way to make up for missing out on almost all of 
her daughters life.

Willow gave her a shaky smile when she looked back before going 
through the doors.

********************************************************************

Giles jumped when his phone rang. He had been extremely jumpy in the 
days since the parole board hearing. He and Buffy's lawyer had
sent appeals and petitions to just about anyone they could, but the 
result was always the same. He'd even made a plea to the
Watcher's Council but they refused to even listen to them. He
had 
two days to come up with something. None of them wanted to admit it, 
but they lost hope when the board denied Buffy clemency. When
he'd
visited Buffy earlier in the week, she'd seem plagued by
something 
but she wouldn't tell him anything, just said her good-byes and
gave 
him a letter to open after she was gone.

"Hello?"

"Rupert Giles?"

"Yes. Who is this?" It was a male voice that sounded
familiar but he couldn't quite place it. He didn't know who
would be calling him this late at night.

"I have something that might free Buffy Summers. I'll be in
the alley behind the Bronze. Bring the lawyer but don't tell
anyone else..." Giles held the receiver long after the caller
had 
hung up. Maybe his prayers would be answered.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I'm not ready for this 
Though I thought I would be

She stumbled down the alley holding her swollen stomach. She pulled 
the tattered clothes that she'd stolen around her. She tried to
out-run them but she was too weak. They followed her, taunting her.

Angel laughed at her as her legs gave out. "Does it hurt
lover?" He pulled the sword out of his chest. "You killed
me."

Jenny's dead eyes gazed through her. "Giles blames you. We
could've had a great life together but you killed me."

Kendra stood over her holding her neck blood dripping from her 
hand. "If you hadn't let your heart get in the way, I'd
be alive. I'm dead because of you."

"Nnnnnnnoooooooo........" she screamed as pain ripped
through her stomach.

Buffy jerked awake and the guards outside her cell shifted. Every 
time she'd fall asleep, she'd had that nightmare.

The week had ticked by faster than she thought it would. Her 
spiritual advisor had tried to help her prepare for the transition, 
but the more at peace she felt, the worse the nightmare became.

I don't want to leave you 
Even though I have to
I don't want to love you 
I still do

Willow and Kat had visited her the day before. She hated good-byes. 
She couldn't stand good-byes. She had said goodbye to too many 
people she'd loved.

Giles had told her earlier in the week that Willow had been a mess 
since the hearing. She hoped that Willow would make it through the 
next twenty-four hours without a complete breakdown. Buffy
didn't know what her feelings for Willow were. She loved her
like a sister but that was the extent of her love. During her time 
in prison she'd grown closer to Willow and further away from
everyone 
else.

Maybe it was for the best that she hadn't discussed her feelings
with Willow face to face. The letter she sent home with Willow would 
explain everything. Buffy rolled over, willing herself to sleep.

********************************************************************

I want to wake up and know where I'm going
Say I'm ready
Say I'm ready

Buffy sat in her cell, praying silently as the minute hand on the 
clock ticked by.

"Up on your feet." She started shaking when the guards came
into the cell.

Tears fell from her eyes when the guards took a hold of her and led 
her out of the cell and down the hallway. She'd said her finally 
good-byes to everyone and had sent a letter to Xander with Willow. 
Kat was the hardest one to say good-bye to. The daughter that was a 
scientific impossibility. She didn't really know her daughter,
not on the level that a mother was supposed to know her daughter.

I want to go where the rivers are overflowing and
I'll be ready
I'll be ready to let the rivers wash over me
I'm ready to let the rivers wash over me

Kat burst into Willow's room even though she wasn't supposed
to bother her while she was taking a nap. Willow had been working at 
the hospital well into the afternoon. When she came home she
didn't say much except to not bother her.

"Aunt Willow!" Kat yelled shaking, Willow awake.

"What? Kat what is it?" Willow rubbed the sleep out of her
eyes. She looked at the dark sky outside her window then glanced at 
her clock.

12:01

"On the TV... you should hear this." Kat grabbed her hand
pulling her out the door and down the stairs.

If the waters can redeem me
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm ready to let the rivers wash over me
I'm ready to let the rivers wash over me

She could hear the TV blaring a news report. "I just got off the 
phone with a representative from Judge Johnson's office. He
stated that just a few hours ago a Mr. Allan Finch..." The
reporter looked down at a sheet of paper.

He was standing outside of the prison where protesters were being 
forced back by the police. "...who was the deputy mayor of 
Sunnydale, California during the time of Buffy Summers' arrest. 
Mr. Finch provided the Judge with a videotape of a conversation 
between Mayor Richard Wilkins and Judge Steven Conlin..." he
paused, listening to something in his ear.

The phone rang beside Willow. "Hello?"

"Willow, it's Cordy. Are you watching the news?" Willow
nodded her head but realized that Cordy couldn't see her.

"Uh yeah. I'll call you back." Cordy had changed in the
years since high school and they'd become close friends. The 
reporters voice brought her thoughts back to the TV.

"We are told that the tape was a plan between the two men to
convict Buffy Summers..." Behind him the crowd broke through the 
police line. "I've just learned that Judge Johnson has
issued a stay of execution while the tape is being reviewed... stay 
tuned for more reports."

I want to wake up
I want to know where I'm going
I want to go where the rivers are over-flowing
I'm ready to let the rivers wash over me
I'm ready
I'm ready ...