Irony

[sam <shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxxxx>]

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a
special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved
animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were
both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student rented out her spare room to a
carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his
reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and
beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally
retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an
attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. By the
time he had come down, eight hours short of the 400
day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend
had left him and his phone and electricity had been
cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the
kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a
wire running from his waist towards the electric
kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by
the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame
as he had merely been listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the
cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn.
Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped
through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the
two hapless protesters to death.

And the last and best . . . . .
6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough
postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to
sender" stamped on it. You've guessed it, he opened it
and said a fond farewell to his face.



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