FF Psych Ward Blues (2/?)

["Christeen Demons" <Shyfox30@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

This one is up special for the Birthday Boy. Hope you like it Quin.:-)

Disclaimer: Joss Owns em I don't.:-) Fair enough?:-)


Did you ever wake up in the middle of the day
And wondered who you are?
You suddenly discover there?s a price you pay for getting this far.
And it?s a part of you, that you really don?t have to spend.
You know I?ve been there.
I don?t want to go back again.
Clint Black and Steve Wariner


The atmosphere of the crises unit was decidedly depressing, Buffy reflected 
as she walked around the large common room, keeping a close eye on the 
other?s locked up in here with her.

They were a strange assortment: One guy was sitting over in a corner of the 
room talking to himself. She kept hearing him mumble ?Santa Maria help me to 
pee-a." Or something like that. Another older woman kept grinning at her 
toothlessly when she would glance over at her. ?Somebody stole my false 
teeth.? she complained. Buffy shrugged her shoulders in sympathy.

This one old guy wouldn?t leave her alone. He kept following her around 
claiming, "I am the Mayor of SunnyDale, and I order you to let me out!"

"I can?t let you out, buddy...I can?t even let me out." She grumbled back at 
him. He got a confused look on his face and went away for a short while, 
though Buffy knew that he?d be back.

It was easy to lose track of the days in here. There were no Calenders on 
the wall...just a clock on the wall, high up near the ceiling which 
displayed the time. Every day the same thing happened at the same time. They 
went down to breakfast at 7:30 sharp every day...there was designated times 
to smoke and have coffee...designated times to sit in a circle and talk 
about why you were there...Buffy usually chose to pass when it came to her 
turn. It was absolute torture for the overly active Slayer. She knew she had 
been here for three days already, by the number of strands of her hair that 
she had plucked from her head. One strand for each miserable day that she 
spent in this place that was strangely reminiscent of that other place she 
had visited called Hell. They lay as silent reminders on her bedside table, 
she hoped that she got out of here before she plucked herself bald.

She had yet to see a doctor or a therapist, she supposed it was because it 
was the weekend. She only knew that because they had been allowed to watch a 
movie last night. Big thrill! Considering most of the people had talked 
through it. She really didn?t want to see ?Ferris Bueler?s Day Off? again, 
anyway.

When allowed she mostly stayed in her room, sitting on her bed and staring 
out through the small, barred window at the long wooden fence that seemed to 
surround the place. It was at least ten feet high. She guessed they didn?t 
want anybody to try and jump over it...not that it would stop her if she was 
up to full strength. Her Slayer strength was non-existent, in fact, she felt 
weaker than a person her age should be. She thought it might have to do with 
the three little white pills she was required to take every day at seven in 
the morning. When she first took them she could barely stand...feeling a 
large amount of dizziness send her reeling. One of the techs usually had to 
help her on her way to breakfast to keep from falling over. As the day wore 
on she would feel herself start to get stronger as the pills effects wore 
off, but she was still no where near her Slayer strength. She knew she would 
have to stop taking the pills before she would even be able to think about 
getting out of this place. She hadn?t figured out a way to do that yet, the 
Nurse would make her open her mouth after she had taken the medication, 
making sure she had swallowed them before she went on her way.

The scary part was, she was beginning to like how she felt on the stuff. She 
felt distanced from her problems in a way she hadn?t felt since she was 
fifteen. There were no vampires in here, no real ones anyway, although one 
of her fellow inmates claimed to be one. She had quickly disproved this by 
pulling the woman forcibly into a bathroom and showing her the reflection in 
the mirror. The woman had screamed in her face, and for her trouble, she had 
found herself being thrown out of the bathroom, and landing with a thump on 
the common room floor.

What really troubled her about this place though, was the utter isolation 
that she felt. She was cut off from the outside world, away from everybody 
that she loved, and she found herself missing Willow with an aching 
intensity. There were a couple of phones for them to use, but every time she 
went to use one it was already being used by someone else, and the one time 
she had been able to use it she kept getting an annoying recording from some 
mechanical operator. "I?m sorry...the number you have called can not be 
completed as dialed." She had finally slammed the phone down in 
exasperation, her body sagging against the wall as she tried to keep the 
futile tears from falling. She wondered what her lover was doing, if she 
missed her, and if she had been looking for her. Of course, if she hadn?t 
been so high, she would have known the answer to those questions almost 
instinctively.

*****
For the past three days, Giles, Xander, Oz and Anya had searched the city of 
SunnyDale for any trace of the missing Slayer. They started very early in 
the morning, when the sun was just rising over the horizon, and didn?t stop 
until very late at night. They searched any place from the burned down high 
school, to the sewers...encountering a few vampires for their trouble(which 
they staked with a minimum of trouble), but their searches were fruitless, 
and the futility was pulling at their souls.
Anya was the first to give up the search. "You know, if the Slayer really 
wanted to be found we would have found her by now." She said, grumpily, 
climbing up out of the sewer that they had been trudging through for the 
past three hours.

"Anya..." Xander called up after her, shaking his head at the outspokenness 
of his ex-demon lover. "Sorry about that...but she might have a point...It?s 
not like Buffy hasn?t disappeared before." Xander said, reminiscing about 
the other time Buffy had disappeared off the face of the Earth. After she 
had defeated Acathla and sent Angel?s soul to Hell.

Oz and Giles were less likely to agree with Xander?s statement. One, because 
they just couldn?t stand the thought of going back and facing Willow empty 
handed. And two, because they really didn?t think Buffy would just run off 
like that again. Especially not now. "Well...it is true we?re not having 
much success down here...maybe my contacts will have better luck. And...I?ll 
call Angel, if she turns up in L. A., he might be useful in locating her." 
Giles sighed, scratching a bit of muck out of his hair.

Xander and Oz shrugged their shoulders and nodded their heads wearily. The 
three men made their way to the ladder and started climbing up, their hearts 
heavy with their lack of success.

*****
Back at the house, Willow?s internet search was proving just as fruitless. 
Her running bots all came back with negative reply?s and Willow felt a surge 
of aimless anger rise up within her...making her want to pick up her laptop 
and shatter it against the nearest wall. The surge of rage both surprised 
and scared her, and she sank back in her chair, letting tears of exhaustion 
dot her cheeks.

Joyce came into the living room, carrying a cup of Chamomile tea for the 
young woman and found her crying. Her brow furrowed in sympathy, she put the 
cup of tea down on the coffee table, and rested her hand on Willow?s 
shoulder in a comforting gesture. "You?ve been working hard...why don?t you 
go upstairs and rest for a while."

Willow shook her head, more tears falling from her red rimmed eyes. "I 
can?t...I can?t rest until I know she?s all right."

Joyce sighed, and knelt in front of her. "Willow, I know you?re worried...I 
am too...but you also have to think about what all of this stress is doing 
to the baby." Willow met Joyce?s eyes, worried guilt shining from the depth 
of her soul. "She loves that baby more than life itself...and I?m sure she 
would want you to be taking care of yourself now and the baby, so that when 
she get?s back, you can take care of her."

"Do you think she?s hurt somewhere?" Willow asked, watching Joyce wince as 
the subtext behind her words was brought to her attention.

Joyce inhaled slowly, thinking about what she wanted to say. She wondered if 
she should be straightforward with the young woman that sat inches in front 
of her, but she knew Willow was strong...she would have to be if she was to 
be married to her daughter...and she could see the steal in the young 
woman?s backbone behind the startling green of her eyes. "I don?t think she 
would ever leave you willingly. Wherever she is, I don?t think she?s there 
by choice."

Willow paled at the words, then nodded her head slowly, a determination 
rekindling in her eyes. "I think you?re right. Which is why I can?t give up 
the search...not yet." Joyce nodded in understanding, then stood slowly, 
still communicating her worry with her eyes. "I?ll drink my tea, 
though...thanks." Willow said, smiling wanly at her as she took a sip. She 
waited until Joyce had left the room before she started scanning the 
internet anew, her fingers flying over the keyboard.

*****
Needless to say, Willow was not at all pleased when she was informed of the 
group?s decision to stop scanning the city by foot. "Stop? How can you just 
stop?!" She asked, outraged as her friends surrounded her in a circle. 
"She?s out there somewhere and she?s in trouble. I can feel it." She pleaded 
with her friends, begging them not to give up the search. "You know, Buffy 
wouldn?t just give up on you."

"She?s not out there, Will. We?ve searched...everywhere...she?s nowhere to 
be seen." Xander defended the group, feeling like Willow had just kicked 
them in the teeth.

"You searched the entire city of SunnyDale? Somehow I find that hard to 
believe." She said, sarcastically, her eyes shooting green fire at her 
hapless friend.

"What do you think we?ve been doing out there for the past three days, Will? 
Twiddling our thumbs?!" Xander shouted, exasperated. After all, he was just 
as worried about their missing friend as she was.

"That?s quite enough, Xander." Giles interrupted their argument with a well 
arched brow. They were both getting a little out of hand, though he supposed 
that it was to be expected with the high amounts of emotion that were 
running about. He turned to face Willow, laying a gentle hand on her 
shoulder...unwittingly on the same one Joyce had earlier. "We?re not giving 
up, Willow. But it?s like looking for a needle in a haystack out there. We 
may be able to hunt for her better from here, where I can utilize the 
telephone to reach my contacts and find out if she?s turned up someplace 
else."

"She wouldn?t just leave, Giles. Our wedding is coming up...not to mention 
the baby. Why would she leave?" She read the look on Giles face quite 
clearly, although he tried to cover it up and she shook her head vehemently. 
"No. She wouldn?t just abandon me like that. There has to be another 
explanation. If she left, it wasn?t voluntary, someone else is behind this 
and I intend to find out who."

*****
The shrink?s office, Buffy found herself sitting in, wasn?t what she had 
expected in this kind of an office. There was no leather couch for a person 
to lay on, a perfect position to encourage them to spill all of their 
problems out to the all knowing Physician. Instead, Buffy found herself 
sitting in a hard leather lined chair staring at an empty white wall. "Well 
this place is as depressing as the place I was before. She had been led here 
earlier by a tech, and left sitting here with the door closed waiting for 
the Doctor. Who, from the plaque resting on the desk, appeared to be named 
Dr. Reynolds. She supposed if she had wanted to, she could have gotten up 
and left. But there was no point to it, really. The whole place was locked 
up tighter than a kettle drum. If she wanted to get out of here, she would 
have to borrow a set of those nifty keys that opened every door in this 
place.

She was just starting to contemplate how she would go about doing that, when 
the Doctor entered the office. They stood staring at each other for a 
moment, as if sizing each other up, then the man moved over to his desk and 
sat down, shuffling through a bunch of papers, until he seemed to find what 
he was looking for and spread a chart out before him. He was an older man, 
appearing to be about Giles age, with silver hair and a goatee. He looked up 
from the chart, and she met his silver-blue eyes unflinchingly.

"So, Sarah, it looks like you?ve been giving our people quite a handful." 
Dr. Reynolds, started off, his voice soft yet egotistical, though he tried 
to make it appear as congenial as possible.

"Why do you people keep calling me that? My name is Buffy." Buffy said, 
frustrated with the mistaken identity.

"That name is part of your illness, Sarah. A name you have made up to go 
along with your made up existence. It?s time to stop living in your dream 
world Sarah, and start living in the real one. That?s why you?re here, so we 
can help you to make the transition. Until you let go of your fantasy, and 
embrace your reality I?m afraid we?re going to be forced to keep you here."

...to be continued
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