A Year in Hell (2/2) by:Alex P. Rated: R

[keeper444@xxxxxxxxx]

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Title: A Year in Hell (2/2)
Author: Alex P.
Feedback: Please any comments or suggestions to: keeper444@xxxxxxxxx
Archive: Whatever or whoever Just tell me
 Summary: A look into the lowest point in the life of someone near and
dear to all of us.
Spoilers: None really.
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy Willow Giles and any others from
BTVS are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy etc. No
infringement of any kind intended. The story however is a figment of my
own twisted imagination.]:-) Warnings : While there is no explicit
sexual content a loving relationship between two consenting women is
suggested. If this offends you (Man, are you in the wrong place) or is
illegal where you live (I suggest you move). PLEASE DELETE NOW!
Warning #2: This story portrays the explicit use of controlled
substances and IV drug abuse and an attempted suicide. Again if this
bothers you, find something else to read. Cause you won't like this one
at all.
Rating: R (intensely adult type situations)
Pairing: B/W (implied)
Notes:
  <>thoughts<>
      *****flashbacks****
...................................
...................................
------------------
Title: A Year in Hell (2/2)
Author: Alex P.
***************

          Using back alleys that only she and her
childhood friend Xander knew, dodging into a couple of churches Willow
had gotten away from her pursuers.      
             Finally after she'd run for what
seemed like hours Willow had stopped and assessed her situation.
                    It was then
the true realization of what had happened dawned on her.
                  As far as she
could tell all of her friends were dead or worse. She'd seen them fall
and then she fell to her knees no longer able to stand.
                Just as she began to
mourn her friends Giles the ever present ever concerned guide and
mentor, Wesley the stoic, stiff, unsure, funny, watcher reject, Xander
her lifelong friend, the one that made her laugh, that held her as she
cried when things became too much to bear, and showed her that she could
handle anything, all gone. Taken from her in a moment.
            What would she ever do without them,
what would Buffy... Then it hit her, like a sledgehammer to the chest.
          Buffy had gone down with them. For Willow
the world as she knew it ceased to exist.
            She couldn't breathe the world was
spinning and her legs wouldn't hold her up then everything went black.
              Willow woke up to a bright
sunlit sky and found herself laying on a pile of trash in a deserted
alley in the middle of an abandoned industrial district, where the city
had discovered it was cheaper to let the old condemned buildings sit and
rot, rather then tear them down.
                No one cared about the
area and very few police even cared enough to patrol the area. For sure
nobody was worried about one distraught red haired girl.
                It had become a dumping
ground for the city's unwanted waste both trash and human. A haven for
the homeless and the lowlife that preyed on them, the small time drug
dealers, pimps, and other dregs of society that even the criminals
wouldn't bother with.
                  It was in this
environment that the young sheltered and grieving girl found herself
lost and alone.
                Kneeling in the scum of
a stinking alley, the desolate woman-child was being crushed by the
weight of her devastating loss.
                  To loose your
friends would have been enough to break anyone but to loose the one true
love of your life right after you had found each other, was more than
any being could be expected to deal with under the best of conditions.
Lost and alone devoid of all hope; all that was Willow Rosenberg curled
up inside her body and slowly, painfully, ceased to exist, like being
born in reverse.
                    She was
suddenly aware of a high pitched eerie keening sound that sounded like a
soul suffering the torments of hell, then she knew that poor tortured
soul was her.
            Without her Buffy, she was only half
a soul and only half of a living thing can't live.
              The sensitive red haired girl
died inside and simply knelt there in the unbearable agony not moving,
the only sign she was alive was an occasional sob followed by a soul
wrenching moan.
              She would have probably knelt
in the filth of the alley until she died if not for an accident of fate.
              An old broken down heroin
addicted hooker stumbled upon the grief paralyzed girl. For some unknown
reason she took pity on the child and led her through the motions of
surviving the streets.
                    After
dragging the near zombie around for several days the old hooker
introduced her new found protege to the mind numbing escape that the
wonderful world of drug use provided. To the soulless waif it was the
keys to heaven.
                    With the old
hooker's able assistance the red head was soon well on her way to a
serious habit and the forgetfulness she yearned for.
                      After
a few weeks the two companions stumbled upon the body of a well known
and abusive pimp.
                  He had apparently
had a run in with someone that didn't like him very well because they'd
pumped several bullets into him.
                      Being
as tough as he had to be to survive he must have gotten away from them
and crawled into the alley and died where they found him.
                  It was bad luck
for him, but really good for the two street dwellers because his pockets
were loaded with the money he'd forced from his girls and the packets of
heroin that he'd used to enslave them.
                  A regular treasure
trove for the two scavengers, and Willow, now called Sweety by her
fellow denizens of the street, got the oversized leather trench coat she
always wore when out.
                    The next
morning Willow found her new friend and mentor dead of an overdose.
                    Following
the rules taught her by the old hooker, Willow took everything she could
find of the old woman's that had value.
                Shortly there after she
found the old squatter's flat and moved
in.
                Sweety soon became a
fixture on the streets. She was known and feared, especially after a
pimp threatened her, then he fell to the ground and was attacked by
rats.
              Sweety swore she had nothing
to do with it, but her legend as a spooky kid you didn't mess with was
already born and flourishing.
                        Every
once in a while she'd hear stories of the Slayer and the night creatures
she protected humanity from, street people knew all about the creatures
that ruled the night.
                    She just
figured that it was another Slayer that was called to take her Buffy's
place and tried not to listen to the stories because they only renewed
her pain and desolation.
                  Then about six
weeks ago one of the younger street kids came running up to her.

                    "Hey Sweety
did ya' hear?" the exuberant youth yelled as he ran across the street to
talk to her. "It's really big news about the Slayer."

                    "No Teddy,
you know I don't care about such things." she said rather harshly but
seeing his disappointment at her rebuff broke down "Alright ya' little
runt what about the Slayer."

                    "Well me and
the guys was hangin' out over by the old factory," the excited boy began
"and these older guys was talkin', Ya' know the guys that always know
what's what. Well we heard one of em sayin' that the Slayer got some
help, and there was this huge fight and when it was over she'd closed
the Hellmouth."

                      She
went into a state of shock. Closing the Hellmouth had always been a
dream of theirs.
                  She and Buffy
always said that once they closed the Hellmouth they'd move some place
where they could be together and not have to worry about it bothering
their families.
                Now it had happened but
there was no Buffy to celebrate with, no soulmate to move with, in short
no future, no dreams left.
                That Buffy and her lover
the Witch Willow no longer existed; they were for all intents and
purposes dead.
                  It was the single
most devastating moment since the death of her lover and her friends.
                  She turned an
walked away from the boy without a word, he called out to her but she
just ignored him, and with the arrogance of youth the boy just shrugged
his shoulders and left without pursuing the matter any further.
                        From
that moment she began the downward spiral that had brought her to this
moment.
                      The
pain was too much to go through without the one person she loved more
than life itself.
                    It was
ludicrous to even try, even the drugs didn't give her the escape from
reality she craved any more.
                  She might have
lasted a while longer, but soon word came down that there were people
looking for her.
                    Strangers
had been on the streets describing her as she had been a year ago,
asking for Willow Rosenberg and showing an old school picture.
                    Not that
Sweety looked anything like that Willow, not any longer at least, but it
was only a matter of time before someone put two and two together and
came up with Willow and Sweety were the same person.
                    She couldn't
go back, and she was sure it was someone her family had hired or worse
yet a representative from the council.
                    Either one
would try to force her to go back and they wouldn't understand that
without her Buffy there was nothing there for her, so it would be better
this way.
No one would ever know what happened to Willow, she'd
be another urban legend, everyone speculating her fate, and Sweety, well
she would be just another dead junkie, and good riddance to bad rubbish.
                  It was the fate
she deserved for deserting her love, her life, her soulmate, and daring
to live on after her Buffy's beautiful soul was gone.
                  She held the
syringe up and examined the oversized dose of the thick elixir that had
allowed her to last this long without her heart and soul, and now it was
only right that it would give her the final release from the hell her
life had become.
                      She
tied off her arm and quickly located a vein. With expert ease she slid
the needle home and pushed the plunger.
                    As the last
of the fluid entered her blood stream and she was releasing the
tourniquet she could hear heavy foot steps coming up the hall.

              <>They found me<> she thought
smugly <>You're too late the only thing here is a soon to be dead
worthless junkie<>

                  Her vision was
already fading when the door flew open revealing a strangely familiar
silhouette.

              "Faith?" she asked as she
faded out

              "Aw damn Red." Faith groaned
"What the hell have you gone and done to yourself? B's gonna kill me if
I let anything happen to you now that I found you for her."

            That was the last thing she heard as
the blackness closed over her.
-------
              Faith began her search into
the lowest bowels of the city digging up every dealer, pimp, and snitch
she could latch on to. Just when she was about to give it up and try
another way she saw a huddled figure coming out of a dealer's place that
struck a familiar cord in her mind. On a hunch she followed the person
on a meandering trail home.
                It took every ounce of
Slayer skill to tail this one without being seen.
                Her determination paid
off and she located the building where the person lived. She was sure
that it was the elusive little red head.
After letting Giles know where she was but not the blonde
Slayer. They didn't want to get Buffy's hopes up only to have to tell
her they were wrong.
The brunette Slayer entered the hovel and after several
wrong doors followed by several profuse apologies she found one last
door on the very top floor of the building, so hidden even her Slayer
enhanced senses almost missed it.
This had to be it. The little voice in her head told her it
was Red, and that voice hadn't been wrong yet.
                Faith just knew she'd
found the holy grail she'd been looking for, and something was telling
her to hurry up, and get in there.    
Even then she was almost too late, it looked as if the
desolation had finally defeated the once feisty red head, a few minutes
later the girl's suicide attempt might have been successful. Faith knew
suicide when she saw it, she'd been on the verge herself enough times to
recognise the symptoms.
              She scooped the unconscious
girl up into her arms, and she ran down the stairs with her discovery.
Willow had lost so much weight Faith could carry the skin
covered skeleton in one arm.
She used her cell phone to get help, making sure they
realized it was an OD.
                    Fortunately
the names of the Slayers carried a certain amount of pull since the
sealing of the Hellmouth and the ambulance arrived in record time.
                  Faith rode along
to be sure the paramedics knew that this was no ordinary junkie O.D.ing
here, and the hospital would know that cost was no object.
As far as Faith and Buffy were concerned the little
witch would get the best of everything, there was no other option
available to them.
**************
                    As soon as
Buffy received word that her missing love was found, and of Willow's
condition, the Slayer raced to the hospital ignoring every posted speed
limit and violating very nearly every traffic law known to get to her
long lost lover's side.
                    Upon her
arrival Buffy took over the care of her Willow, or she did after she
finished crying when she saw the little red head's physical condition.
Her once healthy, happily babbling, best friend, and
lover, was so malnurished, and frail. She looked so tiny in the bed.
Buffy thought her beloved witch now looked like a
concentration camp survivor.

"Oh my love," Buffy cried out her heart breaking at the
thought of how much her Willow must have suffered over the last year
"What happened to you? What drove you to this? Was it me, did I do
something wrong?"

Not getting an answer from the unconscious girl, Buffy
became obsessed with getting her well so that she could have her lover
back, even if it was only as a friend.
Swearing to whatever gods were listening that she would
cherish and care for her precious witch for as long as they both lived.
                  The nurses and
doctors were only allowed to perform what ever medical procedures were
necessary, but Buffy refused to allow anyone to do anything else for her
lover.
                Buffy cleaned her,
dressed her, no task was too menial for the Slayer.
                The only other person
Buffy even allowed in the room was Faith. They had become friends after
the dark eyed Slayer had returned at Buffy's request for help with the
minions of the Hellmouth.
                It was Faith who had
studied Willow's research and found the clue the Wyccan had discovered
that led them to the secret of sealing the Hellmouth.
                Buffy smiled sadly,
remembering Faith's comment that fateful night when they ended that
threat for good.
Even when she was gone the feisty red head was still
saving their butts.
                  It had been
Faith's idea to look for the missing witch among the homeless of
Sunnydale, so Buffy owed the second Slayer everything and she never
missed an opportunity to tell Faith how grateful she was.
                Faith would come by
every once in a while to relieve her friend, demanding that the devoted
blonde get something to eat, and to rest, reminding her that Willow was
going to need her pardner when things got tougher later and Buffy would
be of no use to her suffering lover if she too was on the verge of
collapse.
                  Buffy only
surrendered to her friend's demands after Faith, and a doctor that
specialized in the rehabilitation of drug addicts, and that would accept
the case, sat her down and explained what Willow was facing in the near
future, if she regained consciousness that was.
                  The doctor made
sure that the blonde understood that there was a chance that, given the
patient's severely poor condition prior to her overdose, there was every
possibility she would succumb to the chemical damage she'd inflicted on
herself without ever coming out of the present coma.
Faith asked a nurse why they didn't just give the
comatose girl a shot of dopeamine and bring her out of the coma.

"I always thought all you had to do was give her a shot
and all this would be over." Faith asked not fully trusting doctors.

"Normally we would, honey." the charge nurse told her
patiently "but this one's too weak to handle anymore than we gave her to
save her life. Her poor body can't take the shock."

"In other words you don't care how much she
suffers." Faith growled at the woman, she didn't like it when anyone
talked to her like she was a stupid kid. "as long as your butts' are
covered."

The woman just huffed at the girl's attitude and
hurried off down the hall to continue her rounds.
                    Of course
Buffy heard him, but refused to even acknowledge the possibility. 
Faith saw the look in her fellow Slayer's eyes when the
doctor spoke of Red dying. Faith knew denial when she saw it, so she
stayed close. Even going so far as to rent an apartment right across the
street from the hospital so she would be there if Buffy needed her in a
hurry.
She knew in her heart that it would kill her friend
if the little witch didn't make it.
                    It was three
days later when Willow woke up, and rudely awakened everyone else
screaming, as the pain of advanced heroin withdrawals ravaged her
severely weakened body.
                      Several
nurses and orderlies came rushing into the room and with the blonde
Slayer's help restrained the mindlessly thrashing red head.
                    The doctor
followed the other medical personnel into the room and with the girl
held securely he gave her a shot of methadone to ease her pain.
                      Things
had calmed a little and everyone but the doctor and Buffy was leaving
the room when Faith burst through the door and came to a skidding halt
next to her friend.
                        Willow
was just barely conscious but her eyes grew wide as she focused on her
beloved Slayer.

                    "Your
d-dead!" the now crying red head blurted out nearly screaming in fright
"I s-saw you d-die!"

                    "Hush now my
sweet love," Buffy said softly trying to reassure her beloved while she
gently brushed her lover's sweat dampened hair out of her face. "I was
hurt but I lived, and so did you, thank the Goddess."

                        Without
fully comprehending Willow was still somewhat relieved and surrendered
to the drugs the doctor had given her.
                The doctor pulled the
two Slayers aside and explained how Willow's recovery would procede from
this point.

                "This is good that she
woke up," the doctor explained "it means she is at least fighting to
live, and I've given her the first shot of methadone, in her condition
your friend's body won't tolerate any of our more aggresive treatments.
The methadone will ease her pain and it's less addictive than the
heroin. She'll be getting a shot per day every day in decreasing
increments until she doesn't get anymore. My staff and I will do
whatever we can to ease her pain, but she will still have to suffer
through a certain amount of withdrawal, there is nothing I can do to
avoid it. That's where you come in, Ms. Summers, she will need all the
strength, support, and especially love that you can give her. Over the
last few days I've seen your devotion to her; she is a very lucky girl
to have you. She's obviously a very special person to inspire such
feelings. Rest assured we will do everything in our power to see that
she gets through this ordeal safely."

                    "Thank you
doctor I appreciate your efforts," Buffy told the compassionate man
giving Faith a 'keep your mouth shut' glare, "and you are right; she is
more special to me than my own life or anyone else's for that matter.
But you are wrong about her being the lucky one, I'm the lucky one for
being allowed to receive her love. She just spent a year in Hell
thinking I was dead, and we have to get her through this, because I've
sworn to make it my goal in life to make the rest of her life as close
to Heaven as possible on this Earth. And that's a promise I plan to
keep."

^^^^^^^^^^
FIN
^^^^^^^^^^
So there you go I hope you like this little trip through the demented
and twisted maze that is my mind.
Later
Alex