[buffywantswillow] FIC: Lameness That Cares

[CDRERamius@xxxxxxx]

TITLE: Lameness That Cares
AUTHOR: Tony McD
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss, 
WB, Mutant Enemy and others own them. This is for fun and not profit.
SUMMARY: This is a short story. Too short for a summary. Just read it.
SPOILERS: Up to end of season 4
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere is fine just Email me (CDRERamius@xxxxxxx)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This one of a bunch of short stories I have written that 
looks at Willow and Buffy's relationship through Xander's eyes. They explore 
he reactions and possible actions, some good, some bad, and some sad. The 
first of these stories was "What's In A Name?". None of the stories are 
connected.

"Buffy could be in trouble." Xander
"And, what, exactly, are you going to do about it if she is? If you haven't 
noticed - you're the lameness. She's the superchick or whatever." Cordelia
"At least I'm lameness that cares." Xander
"What's My Line, Part 1"

Buffy woke with a start, her heart pounding. She looked around Giles' 
apartment seeing only Willow curled up in a cute ball beside her on the sofa. 
Giles and Xander were nowhere to be seen. Leaping up to her feet she knocked 
Willow to the floor and rushed up to Giles room yelling.
"Giles!, Xander! Wake up!" she yelled. The door to Giles' room opened to 
reveal a sleepy and some what confused watcher.
"What is it?" Giles asked
"I just had a prophetic dream that someone or something is doing some 
heavy magic at the Hellmouth right now! I think they could be trying to open 
it!"
Giles instantly became fully awake. He had learned to trust her dreams.
"You, Willow and Xander get supplies together. I'll get dressed and we'll 
go." he said in a business like manner. Buffy raced to the spare room to get 
Xander. Banging on the door she yelled out to Xander. No response. She opened 
the door. The bed was not slept in and there was no sign of Xander. She 
yelled to Willow.
"Will, is Xander down there?"
"No, I thought he was up there? What's wrong Buff?"
Buffy came running down the stairs. She opened the hall closet and 
grabbed two large sports bags, throwing one to Willow.
"We'll just have to do without him." She looked at her lover. "I had a 
dream that someone is trying to open the Hellmouth right now! We have to pack 
supplies and get moving right now!" Willow nodded and started to gather her 
magic supplies while Buffy grabbed weapons.
"Where is Xander?" asked Giles as he came down the stairs buttoning his 
shirt.
"He's not here and we have to go without him." Buffy said as she hauled 
the bag of weapons on her shoulder and made for the door. The other two 
followed her to the car and they headed to the school.

They pulled up in front of the ruined school. The new school was being 
rebuilt on the ruins of the old one and workers had begun to clear some of 
the wreckage. Buffy pulled out a crossbow and a large sword and made toward 
the destroyed library. As they clambered through the rubble they saw a figure 
standing in the blackened library. It was chanting something and holding a 
candle that burned with a flickering green flame.
Buffy could sense that whatever the ritual was being performed was almost 
complete. Desperately she fired her crossbow at the figure. Too late. The 
figure let out an inhuman wail and disappeared in a flash of blue light. The 
crossbow bolt passed through the space where the figure stood and struck the 
wrecked wall of the library. The earth beneath them gave a small shudder and 
then went quiet.
Buffy, Willow, and Giles stood waiting for the Hellmouth to open and the 
horror to begin. But there was nothing but a sense of calm that none had ever 
experienced before. After a few minutes Buffy looked at the others.
"I guess that they must have gotten the spell wrong." Buffy remarked.
"Don't be so hasty in such pronouncements." Giles reminded her. "We must 
find out who or what that was and what they were trying to do."
Buffy and Willow nodded as the three of them searched the rubble for 
clues. Giles' voice rang out. "Over here, I found something."
The two converged on Giles who was holding a piece of paper. Willow 
instantly recognised Xander's chicken scratching style of hand writing.

Everyone take hold of the wand for an explanation.
Xander.

At their feet was a wand, about 2 foot in length and covered in intricate 
carvings. Willow picked it up and held it out before her. The others placed 
their hands on the wand. What came next was a shock. The instant the three 
had placed their hands on the wand an image of Xander appeared in their minds.
"Guys" he said with his patented smile. "You're probably wondering what 
is going on here. I think first you should know the real me. The parts that 
I've kept hidden from you. What you are about to experience is all my 
thoughts and memories. Don't worry about getting overloaded. Your minds will 
filter out everything except for the really important things. And don't worry 
about missing anything because you can call upon all the memories as if they 
were your own by using this wand. So sit back and relax and enjoy the show."
A flood of images assailed them. They could see what Xander had seen, 
feel what he had felt, all the defining moments of his life. The first time 
he and Willow met as kids they felt his joy and happiness. They felt and saw 
the happy times that Willow, Xander, and Jesse had experienced together. They 
experienced the sadness and hurt of Xander's home life. The abuse of his 
parents and of the other kids.
They saw Xander crash into the rail the first time he saw Buffy. They 
felt the sadness as the vampire that was Jesse crumble to dust in front of 
Xander. They could feel and experience all the highs and lows of his life. 
They could begin to understand what Xander was all about. They saw the 
bravery as he coolly stared down Jack O'Toole over the bomb down in the 
basement while everyone fought above him, unaware of Xander's battle to save 
them.
They saw all the times Xander had laid it out on the line for them. Some 
of the things they knew about, most they didn't. They saw all the things that 
he had done to hurt them and the pain of his regret. They saw the things that 
they had done that had hurt him. There was an awful lot of that. Buffy's 
rejection, Willow choosing Oz over him, Giles drugging Buffy for her test. 
Their attitude that Xander could only get himself hurt. Buffy's inability to 
kill Angelus. Willow and Buffy ignoring him after they went to college. 
Losing Willow's love and friendship. The lack of sympathy after Anya left him.
But the strongest feeling they got was love. His love for Giles as the 
father he wished he had. His love for Buffy and Willow, his willingness to 
die to protect them.
The kaleidoscope of images, thoughts and feelings ended and Xander stood 
before them in their minds again.
"OK. You enjoy? That is Alexander Harris, the good, the bad, the ugly. It 
also brings us to a few weeks back. After we beat those demons that were 
trying to open the Hellmouth, I got thinking about how one of these days 
somebody is going to be too powerful for us and we end up dead. So one day I 
went to see Willow to see if there was a spell to lock the Hellmouth forever. 
I was going to climb through the window when I noticed Buffy and Willow, well 
you guys know what you were doing, with all those candles in your room.
"It kind of hurt me. You two had found each other and all that. Don't get 
me wrong, I'm really happy that you two did find each other. But I also knew 
that I no longer had a place in your lives and in your hearts. I was no 
longer your love, no longer your best friend, no longer the one you would 
seek in times of danger. You would look after each other a lot better than I 
ever could. But I knew that one day your happiness would be shattered when 
some evil comes and takes one of you away. I couldn't let that happen.
"You know how I went to LA to see Cordy? Well I went there to see her and 
find out how to get in contact with the Powers That Be. I went before them 
and asked them to help me close the Hellmouth forever. They said there was no 
way to do that. I begged and demanded that they help me. I told them why I 
wanted it. Finally they told me of a way to seal it for long enough. All it 
required was a little sacrifice. Me.
"Willow. Buffy. You both know that as long as the Hellmouth can be opened 
it will draw all kinds of evil to it and one day either Buffy or Willow will 
be killed fighting it and that would kill the other. You two deserve to have 
a full life together. You deserve to grow old together. But you can't as long 
as the Hellmouth can be opened.
"So I've sealed it. For one hundred years. Not only can't it be opened it 
also cuts off the mystical, evil energy it radiates. The bonus is that 
vampires and all sorts of evil creatures will be weakened by the loss of the 
evil power. So it will be easier to kill them. But it is only for one hundred 
years and can only be done every thousand years. After that time it will be 
able to be opened again and the evil power will return restoring the strength 
of the evil things.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't seal it forever but I think that one hundred 
years should be long enough for you to live full and happy lives together. 
I'm sorry that I won't be around to see your lives, but look on the up side. 
I won't be around to stuff them up either." Xander smiled that smile which 
always seemed to make people feel better. But this time all it brought was 
tears from the three.
"I've written a will for all my stuff. You guys get to keep it all if you 
want it. But to each of you I leave a gift. Giles you will get to see the 
Slayer that you call your own daughter live a full and happy life. Look after 
them for me, will ya?
"Buffy. Willow. I give you each other. I give you the chance for a life 
together. Make the most of it. And please don't forget me." a tear rolled 
down his cheek. "Willow. I know that if I'm beginning to cry then you must be 
drowning in tears by now." Xanders face lit up. "I've got to go now but this 
should cheer you up a bit."
The image of Xander began to bounce and hop around, his limbs going all 
over the place. He smiled and gave a little wave as his image faded from 
their minds. Willow dropped to the ground laughter and tears contorting her 
face. She felt the embrace of Giles and Buffy as they came together to 
comfort her and each other.
"The Snoopy Dance. He did the Snoopy Dance for me." Willow sobbed.
As the three held each other the sun rose over the east, casting its 
light on what was the first day of the rest of their lives.