FIC: Are you ready to die?

["HeAtHeR ~" <he_X@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Are u ready to die?
Author: Heather
Rating: it's a B/W, I'm guessing G
Notes: Are u ready to die, it's a song, I like it, I don't know who sings 
it, or what its name is, if ur interested, I'll give u the MP3.
I have never posted a fic before, and this is not beta read, so its 
definitely not up to the lists usual quality. -WARNING- Contains character 
death. This is not a particularly happy story, I'm not normally this 
melodramatic. Its also very short.
Disclaimer: Joss owns Willow and Buffy, any character in this story bearing 
resemblance to anyone alive or dead is purely by coincidence.


Are you ready to die?

This is so great, she is so great, I have never ever felt like this before, 
she talks to me, I smile, she says she thinks about me, and I want to jump 
up and down, but right now, I want to cry.

~Are u ready to die?~

I cant believe I said that to her *I think I'm in love with you*, I can't 
believe I let myself get swept up by someone who obviously doesn't care, or 
if she does, its NOT ENOUGH.

~Can u leave the world behind?~

It can never be enough. Why should it, I'm not worth it, she can go save the 
world and I will sit here with my computer, and my incessant babbleing, 
occasionally making her smile by making a fool out of myself? to anyone 
else, I'm sure its obvious.

~Are u ready to die?~

Hell, she said she sorta knew, if she knew why did she ask? So she could be 
sure? So she could point out to me what was blatantly obvious to everyone 
else and especially her? That being everyone except me.

~To get up and reach for the sky?~

So now what? We live together, we have the same friends, I cant avoid her, 
and to be honest, she didn't tell me to leave, she didn't say she didn't 
care, I don't know what I wanted her to say, but it wasn't supposed to be 
like this.

~Are you ready to die?~

I don't know if I wanted her to stay or go. I suppose its good she left, 
now I can think, maybe talk myself into believing that I hadn't totally 
fallen for her. Even though I know that isn't true, *ahhh!* I don't think 
that lying to myself is really going to help the situation any either.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*knock Knock* "Willow? Its Xander, I know its late, but something has 
happened?"

Buffy Summers
1981-2000
Much loved friend and daughter, missed forever.

That's all I have left, a big engraved rock, and the knowledge that while 
she was out, looking after the interests of people who would never know what 
kind of sacrifice she made for them, she knew I loved her.


- -


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