If Destiny Wills (7/?)

[keeper444@xxxxxxxxx]

Sorry this has taken so long to get back.
You know how it goes changes in latitude changes in atitude changes in
betas, thanks Ralf.
The rest won't be this long I swear.
Alex
On with it
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Title: If Destiny Wills (7/20)
Author: Alex P. keeper444@xxxxxxxxx
Feedback: Please any comments or suggestions to: keeper444@xxxxxxxxx
Archive: Gary's site, Bill's Bubblegum Crisis, A slayer and A Hacker,
(the usual suspects) and if you want it: ask I swear I'll say yes.
Sequel to: A Higher Power, Truth and Consequences, Next Illogical Step
Spoilers: General Fourth Season 
Rating: NC-17 This story is about two adult women that are sharing their
lives-if this isn't your thing (boy did you pick the wrong place) or if
it is illegal where you live (did you ever consider moving) please
delete this email now. 
Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy Willow Giles and any others from
BTVS are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy etc. No
infringement of any kind intended. 
Dedication: For Diana my source of inspiration hope you're better soon.
Miss your wit, miss your wisdom, miss you.
<>Thoughts<> 
----------------------- 
Title: If Destiny Wills (7/20)
Author: Alex P. 
--------------------------- 
Willow woke up trembling from the disturbing dream. In it Buffy was
being chased by a mass of pure evil from which she couldn't escape. It
was terrible because not only was it was killing her beloved. It was
doing it in slow torturous stages. 

Every time Willow had tried to help the dream Buffy, the magic attacked
her lover weakening her resistance further. Willow shook her head trying
to clear the terrifying vision from her mind. She reached for her lover
needing reassurance and panicked when she found her gone. 

Choking down the sick bile that rose in her throat the witch noticed the
sun streaming into the bedroom window and relaxed. 

"The sun must've woken her up and she went to the bathroom or for a run
or something." Willow reasoned with herself gaining control of her
rapidly beating heart. 

A quick glance at the clock told her it was still very early. For the
second time in less than a month she wondered at her fast recovery from
using her magic to the point of exhaustion. For all intents and purposes
she should have been out of it until noon and still be wasted for
another day or two. There really should be no possible way that she was
awake and ready to go at-she rechecked the clock--the ungoddessly hour
of eight in the morning! 

She sat up to wait for her wayward soulmate to return, listening
intently for her lover's soft steps. While stretching, she thought
contentedly about the kind of punishment for her fiances return. It was
almost an unwritten rule that neither was to leave the other alone the
morning after a battle like they had the night before.   
Buffy was in definite need of a lesson in manners and Willow knew
exactly how she was going to teach her. 

After thirty minutes, when Buffy hadn't returned, Willow decided it was
time to get up and fix breakfast. It was obvious that Buffy must have
gone for a run or over to Giles' for some training and wouldn't be back
until afternoon. 

Willow couldn't blame her slayer for thinking she wouldn't be awake for
a while yet. But still, something just didn't 'feel' right about Buffy
leaving her this morning. 
They always waited for each other to wake-up no matter how long it took. 

She sighed. <> Might as well go get dressed and at least check over at
Giles'.<> She thought pulling on some sweats. She was on her way out of
the house when she noticed a light coming from under the downstairs
bathroom door. 
Relieved and curious as to why Buffy would come all the way down here
Willow knocked; then she began to get worried when she got no response.
"Buffy, open the door. Are you hurt?" She called out. 

<>I'll bet she's trying to hide those damn nightmares again.<> Willow
thought angrily. <>I don't know why she won't let me help her, she
always did in the past.<> 
After pounding on the door few more time Willow really began to get
worried. <> Maybe she fell?<> The witch reasoned as she got the master
key from her desk in the 'office'. 

The young redhead almost wished that her lover had fallen because what
she found was far more disturbing. 

"Buffy, what the Hades are you doing?" Willow yelled, when she saw what
her roommate was doing. "You stop that right now!" She realized that she
was channelling her mother, but she honestly did not know what to say. 

Willow could plainly see the horror reflected in her beloved eyes. Then
confusion as she looked down at her legs. When the tiny slayer moved
Willow got a view of the damage she wished she would never have seen:
the insides of both her lover's thighs were criss-crossed with deep
cuts. 

Buffy looked back up to at her, opening her mouth as if to say
something, and then closing it with an audible snap. Her blood covered
hands were holding Faith's knife. 

Buffy dropped the knife and began crying uncontrollably. Willow knew she
would never forget the sight, Buffy was sitting on the back edge of the
small bathtub. Her beloveds blood was every where and Buffy had just
finished the last of several cuts on her inner thighs. When she finally
got Buffys attention Willow knew she'd never forget the look in Buffys
eyes. Her pain and fear were evident, but there was another more subtle
emotion just under the surface and it frightened Willow as well. Buffy
was aroused. Reacting on her first instinct Willow ran to kneel at
Buffys side. 

"Honey why?" Willow asked her voice soft and full of compassion. "How
could you do this to your self?" 

"I let them die." Buffy said in a tiny little girl voice. "I have to
feel the pain they felt when they died." 

"I don't understand sweetheart tell me what you are talking about."
Willow insisted quietly but firmly. "Who did you let die?" 

When Buffy couldn't seem to give her an answer Willow went ahead and got
Buffy out of her blood soaked clothing. She examined the cuts Buffy had
inflicted on herself and while they had bled freely they weren't serious
and with Buffys Slayer healing powers they would probably be mere
memories by tomorrow, a memory 
Willow knew she wouldn't soon forget. 

Willow tried to pry an answer from Buffy about where she'd gotten the
idea to hurt herself like that but all the Slayer could do was weep and
shrug her shoulders. In order to keep Buffy from withdrawing further
from her, Willow decided to let the subject drop for the time being. She
also was persuaded by Buffy to not tell Giles or her mother about the
incident. 

That was possibly one of the worst decisions she could have made. 
.......................
------------------- 
Hela had gently probed the fringes of the two girls psyches looking for
an exploitable weakness, carefully peeling away the layers of their id
until she found exactly what she was searching for. 

Deep in the Slayers subconscious was a deep seeded guilt over the deaths
of a few innocents that she'd not been able prevent. 

For some reason that Hela couldn't understand, the Slayer felt
responsible for the incidental fatalities that occurred during her war
with darkness. 

After some careful manipulations of the youngsters subconscious Hela was
able to control Buffys dreams. By doing this she was able to undermine
the Slayers abilities and by doing that it kept her little witch kit
preoccupied and unable to combat Hela effectively. 

"Soon little one." Hela said to the nude blonde female chained to the
Countess' throne. The broken vampire nuzzled Helas leg and Hela stroked
her hair smiling at the new pets response. "It won't be long before I
get you some new playmates. You'd like that wouldn't you?" 

Unable to speak the vampire nodded her agreement. 

"Oh you poor thing," Hela said with mock sympathy "Maybe I shouldn't
have pulled out your tongue, but you wouldn't shut up and I was hungry." 

Hela let the scrying sphere dissipate then took the chain holding her
pet to her chair and using it as a leash the Countess led her toward her
private quarters, the female vampire was visibly trembling in fear.

She had every reason to fear. 
....................
..................... 
Willow was at a loss, normally when Buffy was in the grip of one of her
nightmares, Willow would take care of it. If research and/or spells
didn't work than all she had to do is use their spiritual link to go
into the Slayers mind and find whatever personal demon was tormenting
Buffy. 

Then the two of them would face it together and the nightmare would soon
be gone for a while, usually. Sure some of them would return but with
her Wills to protect her Buffy never worried about them for long. 

This time was different, research didn't help. There were no spells to
study, and when Willow tried to enter Buffy's dream all she saw was a
vague vision of the Slayer fleeing some evil mass that was threatening
to engulf her. When Willow tried to delve further into these visions
Buffys mind would close to and force her out. When Willow attempted to
talk to her best friend about them, Buffy would go into a deep
depression and cry hysterically. 

All these clues led Willow to believe that some unknown force was
attacking the Slayer through her dreams. 

She'd tried to find an answer in the Book of Souls, but every time she
went near the tome any more she found herself drawn to one of the
sections that she and Giles had been unable to decipher. Willow had
thought they had beaten it when she'd broken the symbol code it was
originally written in, using what she'd found elsewhere in the book. But
even having the letters didn't help because the language couldn't be
translated. No matter where they looked, they were unable to find an
example of any language even remotely like it, ancient or modern. 

Still every time she was anywhere near, she'd find herself starring at
that section, like she realized she was doing right now, tracing each
beautifully handwritten letter teaching herself to pronounce each
syllable phonetically memorising it over and over until it was etched
indelibly on her mind and soul. She was beginning to think she was
losing her mind. Then as if that wasn't bad enough these new powers and
skills began appearing with out warning. 

Some of her new found talents she acquired from the Book of Souls, once
she'd learned how to do something it wasn't long before she could it
almost without thinking, then with a little practice each power became
quickly stronger. For example levitation, it wasn't just pencils
anymore. She advanced slowly at first by picking up a small book but
instead of taking months to improve, within a week she was able to pick
up Buffy, Giles, even Giles' car. It was almost frightening.

What bothered her even was the ones that just appeared, it was like a
voice in her head would tell her how and suddenly she could see the aura
of magic, but last night had been really scary. Willow didn't know what
caused her to wake up, but as soon as her eyes were open she knew she
was alone again. 

Normally when she and Buffy were asleep they held each other or at the
very least they were touching but, since the girl had died and Buffys
nightmares had begun again, it wasn't unusual for Willow to wake up in
the middle of the night to find herself alone. The first time was the
night she'd found her best friend and lover in the downstairs bathroom
cutting herself with Faiths knife. 

The memory of the sight of Buffy sitting on the edge of the tub cutting
herself, blood splattered everywhere, and the horrified look on her face
when she realized what she'd done sprung unbidden into Willows minds
eye. 

With it she felt the panic rising in her but before she could jump out
of bed to search for her missing lover, that voice in her had stopped
her. 

<>Be calm witch and you will find the one you seek.<> the voice told
her. 

"But I've got to find her." Willow said to the empty room. 

<>Relax, all will be well.<> Willow froze for a moment confused by the
sudden intrusion. <>I am not an intrusion.<> the voice informed her. <>I
am a part of you.<> 

It was then that she realised the voice had spoken to her before and
every time she listened something good happened. 
"Okay self," Willow said to an empty room "Tell me, how do I find my
Buffy." 

<>Relax.<> the voice instructed. <>Let your mind become blank.<> 
Willow sat back on the bed, she closed her eyes and began to take deep
calming breaths. 

<>Concentrate on your beloved.<> it continued. <>Feel how much you love
her, how much you need her.<> 
Willow filled her mind with images of her blonde Slayer. She recalled
how the sunlight reflected off her hair and the way she'd smile at her
and the look in her lovers eyes whenever she approached. 

Within minutes Willow could feel her senses and emotions begin to reach
out, it was as if her all consuming love and need for Buffy came to life
and within seconds had reached out to every room in the house. 

In a flash of insight she knew Buffy was downstairs in the spare room
and she could feel that Buffy was hurt. 
Willow jumped out of bed and after grabbing the first aid bag and was
hurrying to her friends side to help in any way she could. Willow found
Buffy kneeling on the floor of the spare bedroom, her body covered with
bleeding wets and scratches as if she'd been attacked by a cat. 

"Buffy?" Willow called softly her voice trembling with fear for her love
"Buffy honey, come on back to bed." 
It was spooky, Buffy just knelt there saying nothing, in fact not making
a sound as Willow treated her wounds. Tears flowed from her eyes but she
made no sound, not a gasp, not a sob, nothing. 

Willow finished tending to the superficial wounds, then she sat cross-
legged on the floor facing her entranced friend. Closing her eyes the
young witch began reaching out with her mind to her lover. Once again
all she got were vague images. She felt her stomach turn as she came
into contact with the reddish-yellow fog that surrounded Buffy's dream.
The evil of that force sickened Willow. 

Swallowing her revulsion Willow pushed her way through the fog. She
could taste and smell the hatred and insanity that permeated the force.
Just as she was about break and see the nature and source of the power
plaguing her friend, there was a sudden surge of power that expelled
Willow from Buffys mind. Before the witch could counter attack the evil
was gone. 

Buffys dull glazed over eyes came back into focus then closed as she
fell into heap on the floor. Although she was sleeping naturally, Buffy
was still crying uncontrollably. Willow moved to her loves side and
taking the sobbing girl into her arms Willow began gently rocking her
whispering and humming softly trying to comfort and reassure Buffy,
telling her that everything was going to be alright. 
She knew she was lying. 

With that 'failure' weighing heavily on her mind Willow once again
returned to research. She searched, read, and discarded the rest of that
day until her head was pounding and it was impossible for her to keep
her eyes open. Willow pushed herself away from the desk, she yawned and
stretched her aching muscles stiffened by long hours at the computer. 

Too exhausted to go home, Willow staggered across the room and
collapsed on to Giles' couch next to Buffys already sleeping form. 

That night after an another uneventful patrol (four vamps down, goddess
knows how many more to go) the two girls spent nearly two hours trying
to get from the jacuzzi to their bed, then they both fell into a deep
exhausted sleep. 

<>WAKE UP!<> Willow woke up with that voice again this time screaming
for her to rise. <>Wake up or your beloved is lost.<> 
That cleared the sleep induced fog right out of her brain. She first
noticed the clock, it was four A.M. and Buffy was gone. Using her new
found power Willow searched the house, but found her Buffy was nowhere
to be found. Slipping into her robe and slippers, Willow ran out of
their room and downstairs. As she searched, Willow felt a warm breeze
coming from the kitchen. 

"Oh goddess please no!" Willow moaned as she went to investigate. 

Entering the kitchen Willows worst fears were realized, the back door
was standing wide open. Willow ran outside in a panicked frenzy, her
mind full of images of what could happen to her friend, out there
unaware of her surroundings, dressed in only a tank top and boxers, 

"She didn't even put on her shoes." Willow said to herself. 

Willow couldn't figure out which direction to begin looking. Finally as
a last resort she closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. 

"Okay, Willow Rosenberg." she said under her breath. "Lets see just how
good you are." 
Willow began to take slow deep breaths and cleared her mind of
everything except her overwhelming need for her soulmate. As the feeling
rose to the surface it almost became a living thing with the single
minded urge to find the Slayer, and reunite her with her one true love. 

When it reached its peak Willow released it and within seconds it was
leading Willow at a dead run in the direction of the Slayer. She came
upon Buffy four blocks from home. She was walking barefoot down the
street, leaving bloody foot prints with every step. 

Willow got around in front of her to try to stop her but Buffy just kept
walking in some kind of trance unknowing, unfeeling, her normally lively
flashing blue eyes dull and lifeless, reflecting no emotion. 
Willow tried yelling at her, shaking her, even slapping her. But Buffy
just kept on walking. Going against her reluctance to use magic on her
helpless lover, Willow found she had no choice. 

"STOP!" Willow commanded. Then looking deep into Buffy's dull eyes she
softly said, "Return to me my life, my love, my reason for being." 

Buffys eyelids fluttered, her eyes focused. "What the..where
am...Wills?" Buffy stammered as she became aware of her surroundings "Oh
gods, not again." 
With moan of complete despair Buffy's eyes rolled up, and she collapsed,
her mind shutting from the sensory overload. 

Willow knelt down next to Buffy and examined her for any injuries
besides her feet. Finding nothing else, Willow reached down and gently
lovingly caressed her soulmates cheek then gently brushed a wayward
strand of hair from Buffys forehead. 

"Sleep my love." Willow said softly the love she felt for Buffy shining
in her dark green eyes. "Your Wills is here, she'll take care of you." 

Willow stood up and brushed herself off then looked lovingly down at her
sleeping lover. She quietly chanted a levitation spell, a soft green
glow formed around Buffy and she slowly rose from the ground till she
was level with Willows waist. Then, with a prayer of thanks to the
Goddess and hoping nobody would see them, Willow took her unconscious
lover home. 

Once there Willow laid Buffy carefully on their oversized couch and
gently but thoroughly cleaned Buffys badly cut feet. 
"My poor baby." Willow whispered sympathetically. "Look what's been done
to your poor feet." 

Tears fell unnoticed from the young witches eyes as she removed the
shards of glass and other debris that were lodged in Buffys feet. 

Once finished with that she carefully bandaged the Slayers feet, knowing
that they'd be healed by afternoon. Then she examined the rest of her
love to make sure there were no other physical injuries. 
Satisfied that she'd done all she could for now and not wanting to wake
Buffy up, Willow carefully laid down beside the sleeping girl then
wrapped her arms around her troubled soulmate, pulled her close and very
gently reached out with her mind and lightly touched Buffy's sleeping
mind. 

Finding her love to be sleeping naturally Willow mentally soothed Buffys
restless subconscious while she physically snuggled as close as she
could. 

"Tomorrow Giles *will* give us the night off." Willow whispered in
Buffys ear knowing that her lover could hear on one level or another
"Maybe, if we can get away from all this for a day, we'll be able to get
a handle on all this and put a stop to it." 

As Willow drifted off to sleep, both girls were smiling slightly as the
eerie green glow surrounded them, keeping them safe. 

For now. 
----------------- 
End 7
TBC 
++++++++++ 
What do y'all think worth finishing or not?
Let me know.
Alex