[buffywantswillow]FIC: The Last Death (6/?)

[Jessica Cioffi <cioffi@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Disclaimer: Yancy, Doran and Willow .. oops, did I say Willow, again!?
I mean, Yancy and Doran are mine *damn*. Willow *sigh* still is not.
Joss, lucky boy, has the fortune of having Buffy, Giles and Willow
*sigh* (but, *evil laugh* he has to put up with The Council too!)

Title: The Last Death (6/?)
Author: JD
Archive: Sure. Lemme know where I can find it ...
Spoilers: Knowledge of Tara and Willow, Buffy's disappearance and her
relationship to Angel -- it's a past event in this story.
Notes: If you have traveled this far ... you deserve a reward. I will
grant you an answer ... but I get to choose which one. I had no idea
how short these were. For some reason, it seems to take me longer to
read it when I am in the compose mode ... I will try to make the
submissions a little larger. If you watch John Edward (and like him) you
might like this ... ;)
Feedback: See? It really works ... you say TOO SHORT ... I say,POOF!
Longer submissions! Gotta love the system.

THE LAST DEATH (6/?)

Willow's mind, once again returned to the book. She knew the
symbols Dorian explained but could not remember their meanings. The
title, being in Gaelic, was lost on her as well. On her own she had
picked up some Latin phrases, but she had not yet immersed herself in
Gaelic.

Dorian placed her hand on Willow's shoulder, "I too wondered. Even
when my father and brothers lived, few people in town spoke Gaelic. It
means 'The Blessings of the Goddess: The Sword Woman and the Magic
Woman.'"

"Sword woman, Slayer. Magic Woman, witch." Buffy stated. "Not that
I don't think this is all very important, but what does this have to do
with .." thinking of Willow, realization dawned on the blonde.
"Slayer," she said. Then looking at Willow, "witch."

"Dorian, how long have you been immortal?" Willow asked.

"I was the last to be given a gift by the Council. That was,
roughly, two hundred years ago."

"Giles?" Buffy's eyes were wide. Adding it up, Giles couldn't be
231 years old. If the gift was given 200 years before, Giles had, at
most, another 10 years of immortality. Few Slayers remained Slayers
after their 25th year. "Shouldn't you be dead?"

Pulling his glasses from his face and rubbing his eyes, Giles
answered, "Not exactly, you see. The Council did not rescind the
ability to rise again when ... when I no longer was a Watcher." He
looked toward Dorian, "resisters are also punished."

"Giles, I didn't know ... I thought you were still a Watcher."

"Resister?" Buffy broke in. "Punished? I thought the Council worked
for The Power. What's going on?" The vein in Buffy's neck popped out as
she yelled. "Answers! Now!"

Willow ran over to Buffy, who was so confused that she was near
tears. She quietly whispered in her ear, hoping to calm her down. She
wrapped her arm around the furious blonde and gave a reassuring squeeze.

"Giles, you have to understand how hard this is. We have known you
for years and now ... all of a sudden ..."

Giles face was looking old. His hair seemed to be greying before
them. His eyes had both sadness and regret in them. "Girls, I didn't
tell you because ... I honestly don't know why. I didn't think it
pertained to you."

"But Giles, we're your friends ... " Willow began.

" ... family." Buffy corrected. "I thought we were family." She
shot Giles a harsh look that wounded him to his soul. Buffy quickly
grabbed her coat and Willow's hand. "When you want to be honest with
us, you know where we'll be."

Willow, while being pulled into the driveway, was surprised at
Buffy's reaction. She knew Buffy was impatient, but she thought that,
if she really wanted to know everything, she would have stayed. Willow
pulled her hand from Buffy's grasp.

"Buff. Stop!" She shouted, while the angry blonde stormed down the
driveway. "If we leave, we aren't giving him the chance to explain."

"A chance? A chance?! What has the last few years been? He's had
nothing but chances. When I confessed my relationship to Angel and threw
myself prostrate for forgiveness from keeping our love a secret, he had
a chance. After I ran away, I apologized constantly for not being
honest with him and letting him know how to find me. He had a chance.
When you told him about you and Tara ... what about that? That wasn't a
secret for you!?"

"No, Buffy. It wasn't a secret. I knew, Tara knew, you knew ... I
think the only person that didn't know was Xan. Buff, I told Giles my
most treasured secrets. You aren't the only one. Why are you acting
like you are the only one he kept this from?"

"Because he is MY watcher." The tears were streaming down Buffy's
face.

"Was, Buffy. Hasn't really been for a while." Willow said, closing
the distance between her and her hurting friend. "He's just Giles now.
And he's human. I think we need to listen to him now. He's ready to
talk to us."

"He's ready only because he has to." Buffy said defiantly.

"I don't care why he's ready. I want to know, Buffy." Willow was
growing stronger. "I want to know what he has to do with Dorian and how
that affects us. Don't you want to know how she knows what she knows?"

Buffy wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She let out a little
sigh and dropped her head. Willow was right, although she hated to
admit it. There were too many questions now. She could have walked
away from Giles and his friend if it didn't involve her future ... and
she was feeling even more strongly the need to know how it would affect
her future with Willow.

Willow tilted Buffy's head up, looked into her eyes and gave her a
quick smile. Buffy always found solace in Willow. Her eyes showed her
she was understood and her smile showed her that she was loved. Willow
had the warmest smile Buffy had ever fallen into. Willow's shy smile
always comforted her, perhaps because, when aimed at her, it was
genuine.
____________________________________________________________________________________

"Giles ... " Dorian said, from across the room.

"Dorian, I never expected ... I left those pains behind me." Giles
explained as best as he could, but, in his heart, he didn't think she
could ever understand.

"Pain, Giles. That's what I am talking about, " Dorian's voice was
growing louder. "The pain of dying death after death. The pain of
waking up where ever they put you. The pain of watching everyone you
know and love die. That's exactly what I mean."

"Dying?" Willow repeated in disbelief. She and Buffy had reached the
door only moments before. "But you're immortal."

Dorian opened her mouth. Giles raised his hand to halt her words.
"Let me." His soft eyes gazed at the red-haired girl he watched blossom
into a beautiful woman. Slowly his gaze moved to the smaller woman.
Her eyes darkened with confusion. As every emotion he felt ran rampant
through him, he feared he would have a nervous breakdown.

"There are different kinds of immortality. The kind you are most
familiar with is more than immortality. It's immunity. Immunity from
bullets, arrows, poisons." Giles tried to read the girls' faces for
comprehension. "Another kind is immortality with the ability to 'die'
but be reborn into a new body almost immediately. That person will have
the same memories, thoughts, emotions and the like, but they will be
contained in a new body. Most often, they have no recollection of birth
or death." Giles looked at Dorian. "Then there is ..."

"... my kind of immortality." Dorian commented, leaning against the
wall. The sadness that fell over her didn't go unnoticed by anyone in
the room.

"Yes ... well. Dorian, and immortals like her, can be, in essence,
killed. That is, their bodies can be killed. But only for a few days.
I believe a week is the longest it takes for the body to regenerate.
Immortals like this live and remember living, and die and remember
dying. It is these immortals who wake up from death in catacombs, graves
and ... "

" ... and anywhere they decide to put you."

Horror spread over Willow's face. The thought of having countless
deaths etched in her memory made her nauseous. Buffy's mind wandered to
the awakening. She felt pity for Dorian as she imagined having to dig
her way out of a worm-infested grave.

" ... and what kind did you have, Giles?" Buffy said, making direct
eye contact with him. Her eyes dared him to tell her every last detail.

"Rebirth." Giles stated.

"If you were punished with the reincarnation immortality, how is
what happened to Dorian a reward?" Willow asked, sadness coating her
voice.

"Can I tell you more about my Slayer?" Dorian implored. "It's very
important you know certain aspects of our friendship and certain events
that took place. Without that, everything you know now will be useless
to you."

Willow looked at Buffy, as if waiting for her to answer for the both
of them. She deferred to Buffy as if to suggest that Buffy was in
charge. Dorian observed this with a smile. The roles they created for
themselves also placed constraints on them that needed to be lifted
before Dorian could achieve her goal. Buffy watched Dorian's amused
face closely, then nodded.

"Do tell," Buffy said, "I especially want to know about 'your'
Slayer." Her eyes narrowed to warn Dorian that nothing would slip past
her.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Yancy squinted her eyes at the girl before her. Doran's strength
glowed around her, like an aura. She wasn't sure what she was supposed
to take from the story she was being told. Stories of earth-sorcery
meant nothing to the demon-slayer. Forces stronger than the earth and
sky existed and posed a greater threat to Yancy.

"So," Yancy began, "you have spent the larger part of your life
running, or hiding, from a friendly voice?"

Doran knew the Slayer would belittle her experiences to small-time
sorcery. "You wanted to know my secret. That's it," she said
defensively. Doran turned her back on her audience of one and began
walking away from her.

"What's wrong?" Yancy called, running to catch up to her.

"You think you know everything because you are the Slayer. The
forces you deal with would be nothing without the forces you don't even
know are out there. You never stop to listen. You just ... don't know.
You don't listen!" Frustration spread across her face. She wanted to
explain everything to Yancy, but she didn't even understand it herself.
"I don't run from the power. I run from the pain that comes with the
power," was all she could manage to whisper.

"Pain? From ripe apples and effortless herding? You're right, I
don't understand." She tried to keep her eyes locked with the girl's who
was trying so desperately. "I'm trying, though. You see that, right?"

"I see everything, Slayer. I see even what I wish I couldn't. I see
where people have been, where they are going ... "

"You can see the future? " Yancy, who was always a little scared
her duties would be taken from her, asked with urgency. "Will I always
be a Slayer?"

"Yes, I see every layer. The future is just one of so many ... and
it holds many things for you. A lot of them are quite wonderful." Doran
shyly smiled. "I can't, however, tell you any more than that. Just
remember 'always' is a long time. Besides, I don't want to ruin any
surprises." Yancy could have sworn that Doran smiled at her.

A seriousness crept across Doran's face. "I do have something to
tell you."

Yancy's face paled. "Something not-so-good, I suppose."

"No, it's good, I think. I don't know her, but I am guessing it's
good." Doran cocked her head as though she were listening to someone
whisper in her ear. "She's older, like mother or grandmother. She's
showing me, I think it's ... a white ... feather? Is that good?"

Yancy took a step back. Tears flooded her eyes. She brought her
finger to the leather string tied around her neck. Carefully, she
pulled the make-shift necklace from beneath her top. A long, swan
feather, so small that it must have been from a young bird, was
carefully tethered with twine to the leather.

"She loves you." Doran said, reaching out her hand to the emotional
Slayer. She smiled tenderly. "And she's proud of her duckling."

"She's crossed, you know." Yancy said, almost as though it was a
question. She was only ten when her mother passed. She could barely
remember her, yet when she heard "duckling," she could swear she saw
her. They had the same intense green eyes, the same stringy hair. They
were so close to each other at one time.

"I know. But she sees you and ... something happened to make you
think she didn't love you, she's sorry. She didn't understand." She
stopped, unsure whether she she say more. She didn't mean to make the
girl cry. When the voices came, she was nearly powerless to stop their
messages.

"Now she understands?"

"When you cross, you become," Doran tried to choose her words
carefully, "open. The clouds lift and you are able to see things you
couldn't here. Yes, she understands and is so proud of what you have
already accomplished." She let a little giggle slip. "She wants you to
know that she is proud of what you will accomplish in the future too."

Yancy smiled through her tears. Her strong, tan hands enveloped
Doran's small, white hands. "Thank you." That was all she could manage
to say.

Doran had never had such a positive experience before. Usually, the
fruits of her communications led to punishment. A warmth grew inside
her. She felt right, for the first time in a long time. "Yancy," she
said, brightly smiling, "thank you."

"So, I suppose you are going to disappear for a season or two."

"That seems to be the pattern," Doran replied.

"You know, patterns are like rules," Yancy said philosophically
"they .."

"... were meant to be broken?" Doran finished.
____________________________________________________________________________________

"... from then on, we were always together."

"Always," Giles reiterated.

" I know there is still a lot you want to know, but this mental trip
through time has tired me." Dorian rubbed her eyes. "Can you be patient
long enough for me to take a nap?" She asked everyone, but looked
directly at Buffy.

Buffy nodded and gave a weak smile. "I need a break too."

Giles, looking at Buffy, opened his mouth as if he was going to say
something. But, slowly, he shut it, thinking that no words could stop
the betrayal she was feeling. Buffy, seeing Giles effort, bent the
corner of her mouth upward, attempting a reassuring smile.

Giles, heading for his own room, was stopped in his tracks when Buffy
called after him, "You're not of the hook."

Sitting next to each other on the couch, Willow and Buffy began
contemplating the information they were given. There was a lot to place
and the puzzle was definitely missing pieces.

"Here's what I've gotten," Willow said, "Dorian's mom was a witch.
Her father was suffocating her and her powers. Giles, I don't know what
he has to do with this, really. And Yancy ... I think she's supposed to
be 'you'."

"I'm Yancy?"

"Remember the SATs? Okay, four is to two as six is to three. Right?
Halfs. Yancy is to Dorian as Buffy is to Willow. Slayer/Witch
pattern." Willow said in a very academic manner.

"Do you think? Okay, I buy that, to an extent."

Willow cocked her head to the side, showing she didn't quite
comprehend Buffy's sentiments.

"It's just, I'm no expert, but ... " Buffy carefully planned her
words, "they were ... together. Like, love and in love and two women in
love ... and ..."

"I get it." Willow stopped Buffy's rambling.

"What do you think?"

"What, you think I'm an expert?" Willow asked, not sure why this
upset her. "Just because I was with Tara doesn't mean I know all things
lesbian. I mean, I know some things," her mind had moved away from the
topic at hand and recalled past images.

"Well, you know more than I would." Buffy said, breaking Willow's
train of thought.

"I would? Me? and not you? ... what about Faith." Willow challenged.

"There's nothing to know about Faith," Buffy said, "what do you know
about Faith?"

"She told me, and Xan, that she got you to kiss her, REALLY kiss
her, a few times. Every time it happened, she would come in here all
high and mighty. 'Red, I got some Slayer tonight,' 'Red, your
girlfriend is a damned good kisser,' 'Red ..."

"I get it." Buffy had to stop Willow. She could feel her stomach
doing backflips. "That was just, it was nothing. It definitely wasn't a
relationship." Buffy could tell she wounded Willow. She hadn't meant to
make the Tara and Willow situation into a bad thing. She couldn't help
it. She liked Tara and she loved Willow, but she didn't like the idea
of the two of the together. Buffy was never closed-minded about these
things before.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Willow didn't know why she was upset. She certainly couldn't try to
explain it to Buffy. All she knew was that she hated arguing with her.
Buffy had a hard time accepting Tara as Willow's girlfriend. In fact,
Willow thought she saw Buffy smile a little when she told her that it
was over between her and Tara. She never thought Buffy would think
negatively about her. In Willow's mind, Buffy didn't think of her the
same way since she learned about her relationship with Tara.
___________________________________________________________________________________

(I wasn't going to end it just yet, but I have to go. I'm moving this
wknd. More on Monday or Tuesday, folks.)







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