Liquor Cabinet (open door policy)

[keeper444@xxxxxxxxx]

To: All department Heads and anyone concerned.
CC: Sammy T. Koala
The Vampire Fruit Bat
Informed Source
From: UCGDST local #805
Subject: Liquor Cabinet Policies

Since the topic of liquor cabinet policy has been brought up it would
seem appropriate to voice the position of our group of semi-friendly
carefree bike ridding enthusiasts.
It is our firm belief that no proper liquor cabinet should have any
obstruction what so ever and of course be kept well stocked at all
times. It is also our belief that the consumption of massive quantities
of certain types of extremely potent beverages leads to a religious
experiences, having worshipped many times at the porcelain alter and
gazed deeply at the reflecting pool at the bottom of that alter can be
very revealing (especially everything you've had to eat or drink lately)
also known in some circles as the technicolor yawn.
While I'm not familiar with the jungle juice you've mentioned I d keep
an ample supply of Panther Piss and Rasin-jack, both fine examples of
the aforementioned religious experience.
I believe it is a necessity to form an inspection committee to assure
that all liquor storage facilities are properly stocked and accessible
to all denizens of both the forest and the gutter. 
I know this will be an arduous task but I am assured that a particular
Koala and Badger are more than up to the challenge and of course would
be happy to inspect any liquor supply at any time.
It has also been suggested that all music delivery devices be equipped
with a recent modification allowing the volume to be adjusted up another
notch to 11.
BTW Sammy I happen to enjoy Ska also.
Thank you for your kind attention we now return you to your regularly
scheduled list.

Alex
(Unofficial Village Idiot, 
undercover gutter-dwelling scooter-trash, 
part time trouble making badger,
and holy spook)
.............................
Don't sweat the petty things --- Pet the sweaty things.
~A~
............................
There is no gravity...the Earth sucks!
~Newton's little brother~
............................
{Proud Member}... BtVS Writers Guild....because Fiction makes anything
possible.