FIC: The Ash Chronicles Book Two: The Methos Story (3/?)

["Julie Burnham" <kerothyn@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Today's part is brought to you by the number 3 and the letters E and B. 
Okay, I'm listening to a third eye blind cd at the moment (but it mentions 
vampires!).

Thanks to everyone who's sent feedback. I appreciate it more than any of 
you know.

(and as a note for the story, there's a line in here that is supposed to 
have accent marks on a few of the letters but i couldn't figure out how to 
do it on my ancient laptop. Imagine that they're there).

all disclaimers still apply. Ash belongs to herself. The previous Willows 
are mine except for one of two of them. All references belong to their 
sources. And I found out yesterday I'm required to give a shout out to the 
BWG at UIS. Even though they haven't heard a word of this story.
--

Ash looked around in her relatively small kitchen. "Hey Dawson, is pizza 
okay for supper? I don?t have much in the way of non-perishables," she 
called out.

"That?s fine," Joe said rather clipped.

"It?s not exactly the best for a wake, but it?s all I?ve got."

"Whatever."

"What?s wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Do you want me to get Methos?"

"No."

"You?re starting to sound like one of my ex-boyfriends. You?ve got to give 
me more to work with than that. You can either stay here and be friendly 
while we chant your friend Carolyn off, or you can walk to Punxusatowney. 
I?d go for number one if I was you."

"You?d kick me out of your house?"

"I?ve kicked out closer friends than you. I don?t foster grudges in other 
people. If you have a problem with me, let me know. Or you can leave. 
It?s your call, Dawson." He stayed silent, so Ash walked past him and went 
upstairs to check on the two people she could count on to not try to murder 
her in her sleep.

The long, winding stairs took her to a landing with a beautiful picture 
window. Ah, bulletproof windows was an excellent idea if Ash said so 
herself. She continued up the stairs, went down three rooms, then turned 
left. Walking in the door to Willow?s room, she could see her sister and 
Little Boy curled up on her bed. Actually, Ash corrected herself, Methos 
was curled around Willow as if she was a teddy bear. Ash smiled and closed 
the remaining few steps. She silently kissed the top of his head, and then 
did the same to Willow. "Dinner?s in ten minutes," she whispered in her 
ear.

Willow?s head turned around, and, without opening her eyes, she whispered 
back, "I know." She smiled, then turned her head back to Methos.

Ash kissed Willow?s cheek, then walked back out of the room. Willow?s 
fingers slinked towards Methos and Ash smiled. The redhead slowly, slowly 
got her hands into position, then mercilessly began tickling Methos?s one 
ticklish spot. When his eyes opened, her hands were back where they were 
before, and Methos could find no proof that anyone had tickled him. He 
faced her. "Dinner?s in ten minutes. Just wait for the smoke detector to 
go off."

Methos noted she looked as if she was still asleep. "Imp."

"Bite me," she replied.

"Too tempting." He got out of bed. "Well?"

"I said it was in ten minutes. I?m gonna sleep a bit longer. Waking up 
makes me sleepy."

He leered. "A few times ago, you said it made you horny."

"Oh, that was just the company." He looked shocked. She opened her eyes. 
"What?"

"Oh get up!"

"Fine. Ruin my nap."

He didn?t reply immediately, but watched as she swung her legs over the side 
of the bed. "It would be so easy for me to fall in love with you."

"I will not be your rebound, Methos. And I?m taken."

"Who?s the lucky bastard?"

"Her name?s Buffy. Her watcher doesn?t know yet.

"What kind of a name is Buffy?"

"Her mom was on pain meds at the time. And she lives in SoCal. Don?t knock 
the name. At least it?s not Asmodeous. Two Ashes in one group... I don?t 
think I could cope."

"There can be only one." Methos smiled. "King of demons, that is. And 
really, that?s Ash."

"Yeah. Buffy just kills ?em."

"Ah. Slayer?"

"Yup."

The smoke detectors went off just then. "Supper?s ready."

"Gee, how can you tell?"

"I?m telepathic. One of the perks of being immortal."

"Liar."

"Scamp." He held out his arm chivalrously. "After you, milady."

*

By Ash?s seventh Hot Sex, a compliment of her extremely well stocked bar, 
she was a little tipsy. But only a little, she was quick to point out. She 
finished her drink, then threw the glass ceremoniously into the fireplace, 
where it shattered on impact. "To those we?ve loved and lost." More 
glasses hit the bricks.

Willow finished her ginger ale, then made her toast. "To all those who 
weren?t so lucky."

Methos raised his glass at that one before finishing his Hot Sex. "To 
Carolyn, who in life appreciated great beauty, and in death remains by great 
beauty here hear Punxusatowney."

"To Carolyn in Pun... uh, Punxustawany... oh whatever," Dawson toasted, and 
the men threw their glasses.

"And to Asmodeous. May you reign forever and live all the days of your 
life," Methos said, before kneeling down to kiss her feet as he had done 
thousands of years before.

Dawson raised an eyebrow as far as it would go. "You?re just full of 
surprises tonight, aren?t you?"

"The night is not yet over," Willow remarked, before turning to Ash. "Can I 
get a Pink Squirrel?" Ash looked at her strangely. "I can?t stick to 
ginger ales the entire night at a Wake. I figure one drink?s my limit."

"Only one," Ash repeated before making the drink. "We?re close enough to 
Canada."

Willow accepted the proffered drink. "Thank you."

"Cead mile falice," Ash responded, before Willow started laughing 
uncontrollably.

"Exactly what are you welcoming her to, my dear?" Methos asked.

"I?m not answering that. We?re in the US, so I?m pleading the fifth," Ash 
answered, while Willow kept laughing.

"What was Ash saying?" Dawson asked.

"It means ?a hundred thousand welcomes? in Irish Gaelic. I thought it 
appropriate, all things considering."

"And tall, dark and brooding?s not here to interfere!" Willow interjected, 
sipping her drink. "Ooh," she breathed in. "Just in the mick of time... 
er, nick."

"That?s enough for you m?dear." Ash took Willow?s glass. "Got a toast 
before I throw?"

"To all those touched by love." Ash threw, and the fire sparked as the 
alcohol was added rather abruptly.

"Touch. Touch. Touch." Ash giggled as she poked Willow.

"If I?ve had more than enough, so have you young lady." Ash started to say 
something but Willow interrupted her. "You?re only older than me by a 
whopping seven seconds, minus the whole reincarnation thing. Don?t start 
with me. It?s bedtime for you, dearie. C?mon, I?ll make sure you get 
there." She patted Ash?s shoulder, then turned to Methos. "Lock up?" He 
nodded. "Thanks. G?night." She started herding Ash to her enormous 
bedroom.

Wordlessly, she slipped Ash?s shoes off and got her settled in bed. "Stay 
with me?" Ash asked. "Be my life-sized teddy bear for tonight?" She gave 
her sister the puppy dog look.

Willow caved in about a second. "All right," she said. "But nobody gets 
any ideas from this."

Ash motioned to the spot on the bed next to her. "Get in."

"I will not be ordered around like some pet of yours."

"You?re not a pet. You?re my little sister."

"Are you still mentioning that? Seven seconds seven millennia ago.... Drop 
it already!" She lay down beside her sister. "Don?t tell Buffy."

"It?s not cheating."

"I know. But still...." She smiled.

"And we?re drunk. And I?m all out of fresh men to sleep with in town. I 
trust you to keep me from sleeping with the same guy twice."

"Gee thanks. Should I feel honored?" Willow asked, before she turned the 
light off with a flick of a finger, then laid an arm around her sister?s 
body protectively. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams," Ash answered.

"G?night sweetie." Willow could feel Ash glaring at her, even under the 
cover of darkness.

"Only you. G?night love." Ash began drifting into a blissfully guilt-free 
sleep. She hadn?t had one of those in a long time.

*

Dawson sat by the fireplace, an Irish Coffee in his hand, and mulled. Not 
over anything particular, just the universe in general. Methos had gone off 
to bed an hour before, and Morpheus was starting to knock on Joe?s door as 
well. He got up and wandered away from the living room to find where Methos 
had stashed his stuff. All but one of the bedrooms he passed was dark. The 
one he was standing by had the light of a candle, but no candle was visible. 
He peeked in, and saw Ash and Willow curled up together, asleep. ?And she 
said they were complicated? Yeah right,? Joe thought. He closed their door 
and wandered off again.

*

When Willow woke up, she had a splitting headache. "Is this a hangover?" 
she turned over and asked Ash. Her sister merely grunted, not opening her 
eyes. Willow tried to move but found she simply couldn?t get up. She lay 
in bed for a few more minutes.

"You want first shower?" Ash asked. Willow yawned and tightened her grip on 
her sister. "Guess that?s a ?maybe later?." Ash closed her eyes again.

The smell of Bavarian chocolate coffee woke her a short tie later. Ash 
rolled over and kissed Willow?s nose. "Time to wake up, sleepyhead."

Willow's eyes shot open, then closed again just as quickly. "Light not 
good. Light bad. Ash good. Ash comfy. Willow have hangover."

"And Willow's talking about herself in the third person. We're getting 
concerned."

"You're speaking in plural. I hardly think third person is that bad when 
the subject, in this case myself, has a hangover."

"You had two sips of a pink squirrel. I had seven rounds of Hot Sex in 
tumblers. Bit of a difference, love."

"But you're used to it." Willow rolled over and fell onto the floor. "I 
want you to know that you still steal the covers. Next time, I'm gonna 
freeze." The pain of her sudden intimate contact with the floor made itself 
apparent to her nerves. "Ow," Willow complained.

Ash rolled over and offered an arm to Willow. The younger sister rested her 
head on the bed for a moment. "Go take a shower," Ash said.

"Are you telling me I stink?"

"No, I'm telling you to go take a shower. The pink towel's yours. You know 
where everything is."

"So you're gonna sleep another ten minutes, huh?"

"You have a more elaborate costume to put on for the ceremony. We're doing 
feathers." Ash closed her eyes.

"You just want n excuse to dance around naked in front of people who are 
drooling. Go get food. I want breakfast while I'm getting into costume."

"Yes my liege," Ash bowed her head.

"If I'm taking the mask, then yes." Willow kissed Ash's cheek, then stood 
up and walked over to the bathroom door. "You know what I like." She went 
in and Ash saw the door close.

She stretched, then got out of bed, her head throbbing a little. She 
steadied herself, then grabbed a robe and walked out into the kitchen. 
Methos looked up as Ash entered. "Morning. Where's Willow?"

"In the shower," Ash replied.

"Coffee?"

"No thanks." She made herself some green tea. "Where's Dawson?"

"Sleeping the Wake off somewhere, I think."

"If he's not here soon, we might have to start the pyre without him." Ash 
could hear the water in her bathroom stop. "Ah, Willow's getting ready. 
I'll be back." She gathered up some provisions and took them back to her 
bedroom.

Willow was just finishing putting on an extremely old dress made mostly of 
leather. "You know," she remarked to her sister, "If Antiques Roadshow ever 
got a whiff of your collection, they'd all have strokes. They'd die over 
this, even without the mask." She held up an interesting necklace. "Can 
you help me with this? I'm used to having people help me into this." Ash 
took the necklace as Willow grabbed a muffin and took a swig of juice. 
"Much better than standard fare in those days."

"I try," Ash said. "And you could have asked for something else. You were 
their queen." Willow looked down and Ash smiled. "I know. You didn't want 
to be a bother." She lifted her sister's face back up so they were eye to 
eye again. "You've never been a bother to anyone in all the years I've 
known you."

"And that's a long time." A laugh forced its way out of Willow.

"And you will never be a bother to me." Ash kissed Willow's cheek.

Willow looked reflective for a minute. "Go get undressed, scamp. I'll get 
the blue frosting." They both wiggled their eyebrows suggestively at each 
other, then started giggling. "I'll be back soon." She squeezed Ash's 
hand.

"Till then." Ash squeezed back. Willow quickly let go and went into the 
kitchen before her resolve melted into a pile of jelly.

Once in the kitchen, she rummaged around a few minutes before finding the 
right ingredients for her blue frosting. Methos looked at her strangely for 
a few moments. "Edible and wearable," Willow grinned.

"So that's where frosting comes from," Methos answered in a little kid 
voice.

Willow continued to make the concoction. "Where's Dawson?"

"I haven't seen him since I went to bed last night."

Willow looked worried. "Can you finish this while I look for him? The 
directions are on that card." She grabbed her mask. "If you're gonna go, 
go all out. I should be back soon. Don't take that in to Ash. I'll take 
it when I get back." She kissed Methos's cheek and went outside to look for 
the mysteriously vanishing Watcher.
---

special note: the Wake was a reference to Spider Robinson's Callahan's 
series. Sorry I couldn't get Pixel the cat in.

And coming up next, someone sings Sarah McLachlan songs!
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